Welcome back to Hell

I don't even know what I do anymore. I'm an artist, but not very good at humans or anatomy, and I like to write short stories? I am new to Tumblr, not really, but I probably don't know a lot like others do. Feel free to talk to me, I don't bite! (Insert the OWO face and a bunch of squiggles) P.S I tend to say m8 a lot like an excessive amount so sorry about that, I'm not even Australian it's something I picked up from Tf2 and my Aussie friend. Also, before you decide to leave me, the metal trash can, I am sort of a perfectionist, so you might hear me yelling bout something, alright? I'll go now...

[akingofcrows-blog]

This looks awful but yall better have had a fucking holly jolly goddamn valentines day 

[akingofcrows-blog]

Scout: Oh no, the milkman... My sworn enemy.

[akingofcrows-blog]

Communist version of Hit or Miss

Hit or miss, I guess the Soviets never miss huh? You got a Stalin I bet he doesn’t starve yah, he gonna find another Hitler and he wont gas ya, he gonna skrt and spread communism like rasputina. Sad thing is I can say thin within 10 seconds

[akingofcrows-blog]

Hey, you wanna know what makes me sad? That theres so many doggos and puppers I havent pet yet and I hate thinking about that. 

[akingofcrows-blog]

everyone knows the best valentine phrases are: Quit Stalin and get yourself a communist I hope you burn alive, valentine,  and the all famous one: Hey, can I borrow your pencil for a moment, I’ll give it back at the end of class, maybe.

[akingofcrows-blog]

Soldier vs Dog, the beginning of carnage

Spy: I- I think he might be talking to a dog... I think I need another cigarette to forget this. Soldier: THIS DOG IS SPEAKING SWEDISH, WE NEED MEDIC TO DECIPHER THE CODE Medic: Aha, this is why I dont go outside anymore. Soldier: I THINK HES A SPY, SHOOT HIM, MAGGOTS

[akingofcrows-blog]

These are more fun than they should be

Pyro: I can light a fire if I want to! Medic said I could. Medic: Nothing is illegal if you’ve sold your soul and already are going to hell. Pyro: See!  And I’ve already started plans to light that tree on fire! Medic: Oh child, you have lots to learn, first we must assert our dominance, then we take over our employers, then, the world. (maniac laughing) Engie: This is why children hate you.

[goldring]

[akingofcrows-blog]

If you dislike this bird, you are a horrible person and are dead to me, not that it would really matter, I mean like, Im not really threatening since I sound like a 3 year old but you get the point, kids.

[akingofcrows-blog]

When you confuse a teammate for a spy even tho they just respawned and you start wondering if you’re too paranoid about spies:

[akingofcrows-blog]

Scout: You know what, I think this crocodile wants to be my friend! Sniper: Should we stop him? Medic: He’ll realize in a moment, usually takes time for his brain to comprehend what is possible and what is not. Spy: Heh, this is a really good show, you bring popcorn Medic: Why wouldn’t I? It’s the Scout’s spectacular ideas hour. Sniper: Wh- Why are you guys like this, I thought we were supposed to help our teammates.

[akingofcrows-blog]

Germans are good friends to have

Pauling: So, am I pregnant or what? Medic: Nah bitch, you just fat lol  Pauling: Oh thank g- Wait, what did you just say (Tbh I kinda think that Medic and Pauling would be very good friends and would shop and complete her tasks together because why not)

[babyanimalgifs]

Classic

[akingofcrows-blog]

I thought that dog at the end was actually being eaten by a crocodile and the words that came out of my mouth were just “Goddammit Australia,” before my brain processed the image WHEEZE

[sparkle-socks-deactivated201502]

i fucking hate tumblr so much seriously

you guys are always like “i want equality!” except gay people are better than straight people and women are better than men and poc are better than white people and trans people are better than cis people

if you claim you want equality, but put someone down because they’re privileged, that doesn’t make you an advocate for equality, it makes you an asshole

[veinitas]

this whole post is so fucking embarrassing lmao i truly feel sorry for anyone that vibes with it because BOY have yall got some growing up to do

[lifeofcynch]

OP: ‘’nobody is better than somebody else when it comes to race, gender, or sexuality, and tumblr sjws should stop reinforcing such mindsets if what they want is true equality.’’

this absolute dingus: ‘’ummm? wow lmao this is so???? uhh embarrassing lmfao?????? how dare you even say that gay/poc/trans people aren’t better than straight white CISSIES (eww!!)??? wow uhhhh you are stupid and you need to fucking grow up lmaooooo!!!!’’

[akingofcrows-blog]

This is actually accurate like what??? Most people protect lgbt members and thats alright because they’re oppressed but people forget that Straight people are sometimes bashed for being straight for some reason. And we should protect the oppressed people but we shouldn’t put them on some high status which blocks them from forever being touched. Such as if you were to criticize a artist who was of a different race or color than some people get the nerve to attack you for being either “Racist” or a “Homophobe” just because you’re offering advice. Or if you were to dislike a youtuber of race/gender/sexuality you may get bashed because they are different from you because SJWs reinforce the mindset on people that everyone who hates someone who is trans, Nb, Black, Asian, gay, Bi etc is supposedly not excepted and everyone who isnt an Sjw is out to get them. Some people actually are racist, homophobes, or dislike people who are a different gender than the standard Female and Male, and we need to make them accept the fact that people cant choose this most of the time and arent trying to force it on anyone else but are just letting people know that they, in fact, are different but they accept it and such. But we can’t assume someone is homophobic, racist, or anything else just based on their opinions on someone who is different compared to them. Im really sorry if I am wrong in any way, just stating my opinion bout the situation with Sjws I guess WHEEZE I GET TOO DEEP INTO POLITICAL TOPICS

[akingofcrows-blog]

Weird things I’ve heard from classmates possibly pt 1

“Ew, you almost got your dirty crotch by the water” “PEANUT BUTTER” “I pledge of allegiance to the united states of Australia” (that was me but you know still w e i r d as fuck) “WHERES MY FUCKING CHOCOLATE MILK, JOHNATHAN” “You motherfucking sewer rat, give me my pen back” “You know that one kid? Yeah, he looks like he is a porn star”  “Does your cat look like the new version of Garfield or the older version?” “Since when did chickens taste like shit” “I CANT WITH SCHOOL, GOD DAMMIT I HATE MATH, I HATE EVERYONE, I HATE MY FRIENDS, WHY DO I NEED AN EDUCATION” “Do you think I could make it onto the cast of Grey’s Anatomy, like, I think I could” “Go into the timeout corner, furry trash” (what my friend is often called as a joke) “I CHOOSE YOU LAPRASS” (yes, it was LaprASS, it was two kids playing pokemon and the kid accidentally said Laprass) “No, the Soviet union would definitely crush your petty uprising in that book of yours, amateur” “Who is Hulk Hogan? Is he like The Hulk or something?” (I asked my classmates if they knew who hulk hogan was and like 95% didn’t know who he was) “WHY DOES IT HAVE A WORM PENIS”  “I think that its supposed to be Geology, not goology, idiot” 

Oof I took a break since my laptop wouldnt charge so take weird statements from my classmates 

[akingofcrows-blog]

That 7th comic is that one friend who is always like an hour late to everything but it just so happens this friend is 2 years later and possibly wont show up till humans are extinct, plot twist, the 7th comic is Peter parker.  “Mr Valve, I don’t feel so good

[mlemilly]

i meant to post this a while ago

[bulle-blackhole-deactivated2024]

@mamar12

[akingofcrows-blog]

Me, drawing a random oc: How about, we give you a horrible tragic backstory we’ll also make every single bad thing happen to you, like a bird shits on your new car.