Quiet Rebellion
dependent blog for Never-RPG, written by Cordelia
Alana | Mermaid | Current resident of Neverland’s Lagoon |
Pinterest | Skeleton Bio | Headcanons | Playlist | etc, etc
Jules of Nature
KIROKAZE

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Misplaced Lens Cap

if i look back, i am lost

tannertan36
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wallacepolsom
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YOU ARE THE REASON
Stranger Things
Peter Solarz
AnasAbdin
styofa doing anything

Discoholic 🪩
Three Goblin Art
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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Keni

seen from Australia

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@alanaofthelagoon
Quiet Rebellion
dependent blog for Never-RPG, written by Cordelia
Alana | Mermaid | Current resident of Neverland’s Lagoon |
Pinterest | Skeleton Bio | Headcanons | Playlist | etc, etc
amarathcrne:
Amara always hated the cold. The frigid air sent a chill up her veins, and it felt as though the frost had brought the world to a halt. And that was what she hated most: the thought of once again being still, unmoving, with nowhere to go. It was not surprising that cold had accompanied such dark times, and it didn’t come as a surprise that at the first sight of green protruding from muddied ice that the pirate had ventured into the treacherous lands on her own. She knew it was reckless, still new to all the dangers Neverland held, but tending to her sanity seemed more dire than her safety. She walked along the shoreline, watching the waves crash feebly on the grainy sand, and wondered how many others had been brought here by a cruel twist of fate. Amara was pulled from her thoughts as she came across a lagoon, its ripples strangely different from those around, which lured her closer to the unknown depths. Moments later Amara suddenly took a step back and inwardly cursed before regaining her composure, though imperceptibly startled. “Do you really spend your day waiting to jump out at people?” She questioned, annoyance evident in her tone. She hadn’t a moment to comprehend the other’s question, much less the fact that there was a mermaid in her midst.
The woman before her was unfamiliar, but she did not look like one of the Lost Boys. A pirate? Either way, the woman seemed new to the lagoon, and maybe even new to merfolk completely. There were times where she wondered what the merfolk were like elsewhere in this world— were they all as bloodthirsty as the ones in Neverland? It seemed as though so many pirates had had so little experience with the merfolk— did merfolk hide, living in colonies deep underwater, only surfacing for special occasions. There were days where Alana ached to find out for herself, but something anchored her here, despite everything.
“No, of course not!” Her voice traveled through the air, melodic and sweet as she smiled in the face of the pirate’s annoyance. “You kept rustling the leaves, and I was hoping for someone to cure my boredom... nobody comes to the lagoon during the winter, you see.” Alana let her tail flick some water in the general direction of the pirate.
wndybyrd:
three days … they’d flown by as wendy darling re-immersed herself in the fantastical world of neverland, a place that seemed so familiar yet oddly strange at the same time. childishly, she had almost thought that time would’ve simply stopped whilst she was away in london, as if nothing changed without her there to witness it ( like the world wasn’t real & only ever existed for her ) but, alas, there was much to familiarize herself with. first ‘n’ foremost, navigation; wendy could’ve been mistaken for a newcomer — fresh meat that had never set foot on the island before — by how unfamiliar she was with the territory. the honey-haired girl’d be off to one place & wind up completely turned around, too confident in fog-shrouded memories she often struggled to recall. no wonder the lost boys didn’t like her wandering off alone, she was like a baby fumbling through those woods.
her head snapped, surprised by the lilting voice that caught her ear. she should’ve known better than to believe solitude existed on neverland : something, someone was always lurking in the shadows. suddenly, she knew exactly where she had stumbled to &, cowardly, considered turning back. “ that depends. “ the human girl called back, edging closer towards the lagoon. “ your folk’s idea of ‘playing’ hasn’t always turned out fun for me. “ her eyes watched the mermaid carefully. she couldn’t deny how enrapturing & alluring the creature was ( no wonder others fell so easily for their charm ), but she had made the mistake of dropping her guard with them once before. “ how has the lagoon not frozen over ? “
Wendy Darling. This was a face Alana had hoped never to see by the lagoon again. Had Peter Pan not warned her away from the merfolk? But then again, Peter Pan did not care for girls who did not have a spark of something more to them— and Peter Pan obsessed over Wendy Darling. Something bitter curled up within her as she dipped back underwater for a moment, before resurfacing, ready to play.
“Aww, Wendy-girl, you’re no fun...” she called out, her voice lilting as she pouted. She swam in a slow circle, her tail glinting in the sunlight as she kept the honey-haired girl in her peripheral vision. A part of her was glad it was Wendy at the lagoon— the lack of spilled blood would be easily explained. “Always with your curious questions... why don’t you come closer? Find out for yourself?”
The answer was simple, of course. Neverland’s magic, and the warmer waters of the ocean, were enough to ensure that the lagoon did not freeze. But Wendy did not know this, Alana was certain. “Are you scared, Wendy? I promise not to bite.”
flcshnblood:
The world was beginning to thaw, and Holly was very glad for it. That being said, there was less of a chance for Holly to play puppeteer once the snow thawed, for the Lost Boys would be less and less hungry as spring gave way to life. Still, there was fun to be had.
So, Holly took to taunting the mermaids. When they saw one sighing by her lonesome, Holly shook a tree branch vigorously. Of course, Alana dove back into the water and gave the shore a good splash.
Which, of course, Holly dodged expertly.
“You missed!” Holly loved the merfolk, in spite of their natures. If only because they were so easy to provoke.
“Spring might be coming soon,” Holly said, fluttering in the air. “I have an idea. Do you want to play a prank?”
Holly. Alana wanted to sigh, and she mourned the possibility of a quiet day. Her expression morphed into a pout— which wasn’t entirely manufactured. “No fair— you can fly.” Some days, she wondered why some of the smallfolk didn’t just fly away— but then again, this Island had Peter Pan, and it was the home of the smallfolk. Simply leaving may not even be a possibility, nor did she think many of them even wanted to.
“I have missed the warmer weather.” she called out, choosing to float in the water, her face upturned towards the cold sun. “Nobody fun comes to the lagoon when it’s all cold.” The only regular visitors the lagoon gets are the smallfolk or Peter when the Island is at its coldest.
“A prank?” Holly had always been one for malicious mischief, and she felt no true desire to take part in these games. But she was a mermaid, and once upon a time, such things had been her reason for being. “What kind of prank?” Alana leaned closer, curiosity filling her face as her mind raced in thought.
alanaofthelagoon:
lostlastinglcss:
Lucy was having the strangest dream. There was her father, holding her, telling her something about gold, how many came to this place in hopes of finding some. Then, there was her father again. Much farther away, this time. The ground below her was dry dirt, with the walls of the well becoming particularly cold. She tried to call to her father. He tried to call to her. Yet, they could not see each other, and the ground below her feet became increasingly moist as she…
The shock of a freezing cold splash catapulted her out of her terrible dream, and she found herself standing on the shore of the lagoon, sopping wet.
Have I been sleepwalking again?
“How long have I-” she spat out salt water, shivering. “I was- wait.” A face with skin much like her own, with an expression as teasing as that of an old friend. Or so I think. Lucy furrowed her brows.
“You!” A tail peeking out from the water told Lucy exactly what she was. Previously, Lucy had only admired these beings from a distance. And now, Lucy could only cry. “I’ve– I’ve seen one of you before. Circling the pirate ship, I think. And,” Lucy’s eyes darted around, just as quickly as her thoughts. “I think I’ve heard you sing before.”
Worry coursed through her as she watched this girl splutter and shiver on the shoreline. This was a new face, but there was no mistaking the girl— this was clearly another of Peter Pan’s Lost Boys; a girl he had lured to this Island after Wendy had left. How many girls had died on this Island after Wendy left, that first time? How many more would die? The thought made her stomach curl. This Lost Boy in front of her just so happened to be one of the lucky few to survive. Human girls never did do well on this Island.
“We do love the pirates,” Alana called out, her voice lilting and melodic as she lazily flapped her tail in the water. She swam a little away from the shoreline, finding some rocks to rest upon and giving the girl some space under the guise of preening under the sun. “And did you like my voice? I can sing for you again, if you’d like?” Her face tilted towards the sun, her close-lipped smile hiding her fangs as she raised an eyebrow in invitation.
She wished she could be kinder; wishes that her words could be laced with warmth. Instead, all she has are thinly veiled warnings, offerings of violence that she has no desire to follow through on. Still, better the Lost Boy learns now than later, with another merfolk who has no qualms about spilling blood in these waters. And yet— regret wanted to fill her, but she pushed it away, choosing to stare expectantly at the girl at the shoreline.
“There’s something wrong here. What haven’t you told me?”
Frost curled at the edges of the shoreline, frozen fractals creating beautiful designs along the surface of the water, but Alana wanted nothing more than to bask in a warmer sun. This winter was shaping up to be harsh, and it did not bode well for the others who lived here. There were too many newcomers, too many who would suffer. Still, this winter did not seem to want to end, and she worried. "What could I possibly know, Callisto?" she called out, turning to the blonde mermaid. This Island answered to the whims of one boy, and maybe even he could not provide the answers.
house of the dragon starters
ep1 - 10 .
❝ try not to look too relieved. ❞ ❝ did you sleep? how long? ❞ ❝ no king has ever lived that hasn’t had to forfeit the lives of a few to protect the many. ❞ ❝ i don’t need mothering. ❞ ❝ it is our fate, i think, to crave always what is given to another. ❞ ❝ you’re safe with me, i swear it. ❞ ❝ to elude a storm, you can either sail into it or around it. but you must never await its coming. ❞ ❝ i have only ever defended you. ❞ ❝ i’ve always thought of you and i as having been made from the same cloth. ❞ ❝ you will address me as “your grace” or i will have my guard cut out your tongue. ❞ ❝ i’d rather serve as a knight and ride to battle and glory. ❞ ❝ you’re always like this when you’re worried. disagreeable. ❞ ❝ i like this position. it’s quite comfortable. ❞ ❝ how sweetly the fox speaks when it’s been cornered by hounds. ❞ ❝ we haven’t spoke much…since… ❞ ❝ i do not wish to rule over a kingdom of ash and bone. ❞ ❝ i was never much of a dancer. ❞ ❝ do you want me to kill him? ❞ ❝ i’m asking with you to come with me…away from all of this. ❞ ❝ come, eat. fortify yourself for the journey. ❞ ❝ you swore to protect me. ❞ ❝ what will they say of me when the histories are written? ❞ ❝ it’s the only thing i have to my fucking name! ❞ ❝ look what my life became without you. a droll tragedy. ❞ ❝ strive to restore whatever scrap of honor you have left. ❞ ❝ our worth is not given. it must be made. ❞ ❝ it pleases me to hear you say this. that i am not alone in my grief. ❞ ❝ if you mean to elicit some anger from me, you should know that you’re failing. ❞ ❝ it bothers you, does it not? ❞ ❝ the realm owes you a great debt. ❞ ❝ all i wanted was for someone to say that they were sorry for what happened to me. ❞ ❝ we must all mourn in our own way. ❞ ❝ do you have a specific course of action to propose? ❞ ❝ we’re both people who have had to cut our own way through the world. ❞ ❝ were that to happen, losses would be incalculable. ❞ ❝ it was not my intent to make offense. ❞ ❝ when steel is drawn, a fair match isn’t something anyone should expect. ❞ ❝ i find i have…few friends lately. ❞ ❝ we don’t belong here. ❞ ❝ i only want to help you. ❞ ❝ you cannot believe such gossip. ❞ ❝ just get out. leave me at once. ❞ ❝ to have every young knight and lord fawning over you…what a misery. ❞ ❝ you’ve been much alone these past few years. alone and angry. ❞ ❝ the road ahead is uncertain, but the end is clear. ❞ ❝ you’re young. you will learn. ❞ ❝ this is just what i need…a little adventure. ❞ ❝ care for some company? ❞ ❝ what is this brief mortal life…if not the pursuit of legacy? ❞ ❝ the wise sailor flees the storm as it gathers. ❞ ❝ you are a plague…sent to destroy me. ❞ ❝ for one night, i wish to be free of the burdens of my inheritance. ❞ ❝ do you wish to hear my opinion on the matter? ❞ ❝ i’ve been alone. you abandoned me. ❞ ❝ i’ve decided to remain here and read instead. ❞ ❝ if there were another path…one that led to freedom…would you take it? ❞ ❝ we should be free to speak our minds to one another. ❞ ❝ everything i’ve given you, you’ve thrown back in my face. ❞ ❝ answer me. it’s important. ❞ ❝ do you never long for home? ❞ ❝ i know you’ve never seen true battle. ❞ ❝ your heart is even darker than i thought. ❞ ❝ you think yourself a cunning person. your plans are obvious. ❞ ❝ you never were one to stay idle. ❞ ❝ do not speak of this again. ❞ ❝ they whisper about me in the corridors. ❞ ❝ am i your prisoner? ❞ ❝ have the decency to look grateful. do you know what has been done to give you this day? ❞ ❝ love…is a downfall. ❞ ❝ we’re free to do as we please. ❞ ❝ you will make a fearsome knight. ❞ ❝ just take my arm, at the least. ❞ ❝ it seems the gods have been especially cruel to you. ❞ ❝ i will be a stranger when we meet again. ❞ ❝ you dare put hands on me? ❞ ❝ you look so much like your mother in certain lights. ❞ ❝ i have no shortage of allies. ❞ ❝ who gives a fuck what some lord thinks? ❞ ❝ take your fucking hands off me. ❞ ❝ a certain insolence runs in the family. ❞ ❝ meat without wine is a sin. ❞ ❝ i gave up the idea of wearing a crown generations ago. ❞ ❝ are you…are you hurt? ❞ ❝ reluctance to murder is not a weakness. ❞ ❝ exhausting, isn’t it? hiding beneath the cloak of your own righteousness. ❞ ❝ we have nothing in common. ❞ ❝ you deserve better than what i have been. ❞ ❝ you are an honorable man with a good heart. it’s a rare thing. ❞ ❝ i promise you, in time, you and i together will prevail. ❞ ❝ life has, i know, disappointed you. ❞ ❝ if a king isn’t feared, he is powerless. ❞ ❝ i’d rather ride alone. ❞ ❝ be careful. one could take your words for treason. ❞ ❝ i’ve never seen that side of you…i even doubted its existence. ❞ ❝ i will have the truth of what happened. now. ❞ ❝ do you wish to know your death? ❞ ❝ if we don’t mind our own histories, it will do the same to us. ❞ ❝ i believe you were made to wear the crown. ❞ ❝ we are turning back, all right? ❞ ❝ everyone’s staring at us. ❞ ❝ i would say it’s nice to be home, but i scarcely recognize it. ❞ ❝ most of my years have been spent living in terror. ❞ ❝ all that i have, i owe to you. ❞ ❝ i’ve wondered many an hour what your purpose was in coming here. ❞ ❝ what can either of us know of ruling a kingdom? ❞ ❝ does the promise of war excite you? ❞ ❝ none of this is a game. and yet you treat it like one. ❞ ❝ a matter has arisen that requires your attention. ❞ ❝ night time, you might not be so lucky. ❞ ❝ i have no wish to rule! no taste for duty! i am not suited. ❞ ❝ you flee what other men die seeking. ❞ ❝ i endured it for as long as i could. ❞ ❝ we don’t choose our destiny. it chooses us. ❞ ❝ it is ill luck to look upon the face of death. ❞ ❝ you’ve already found enough trouble today. ❞ ❝ who might you be running from, now? ❞ ❝ i am yours and you are mine. ❞ ❝ i will not have blood shed beneath my roof. ❞ ❝ we are closer to gods than to men. ❞ ❝ you shouldn’t do this alone. let us help you. ❞ ❝ that war is not mine to begin. ❞ ❝ it has been so long since we were granted the joy of your presence. ❞ ❝ how could you allow such a thing to happen? ❞ ❝ do not allow your temper to guide your judgement. ❞ ❝ now they see you as you are. ❞ ❝ do you want to know the truth of it? i was frightened. ❞ ❝ you desire not to be free, but to make a window in the wall of your prison. ❞ ❝ you are wiser than i believed you to be. ❞ ❝ i speak the truth. and you know it. ❞ ❝ hope is the fool’s ally. ❞ ❝ while i like your support, i do not need it. ❞ ❝ go to your chambers. you have said enough. ❞ ❝ i thought i wanted it, but the burden is a heavy one. ❞ ❝ i understand you’ve found yourself in some trouble. ❞
ofpirateslife:
This was not his first winter in Neverland, nor would it be his last; Nod had survived far worst things then the biting cold and lack of food. Some of the newer crew members had been lost, the harshness of Pan’s Island being a shock and frostbite and malnutrition taking them. It seemed to last longer than any he can remember before, but even as before, he recognizes the starting signs of spring. The ice covers the trees and ground is slowly melting as he makes his on the path to the lagoon, one he had taken too often and knew as well as the back of his hand. He hadn’t been back there since the beginning of winter, but as he drew closer, he could hear movement in the water up ahead, his own presence not hidden as frozen leaves crunched under his heavy steps.
He steps to the shoreline of the lagoon and that’s when she splashes out from under the water; he still remembers the first time he had seen her do that. Nod had been mesmerized then and still was. This was the one place he’d always come to and use to sit for hours watching the merfolk who seemed to put with him starring. “I came to check on you,” He said, knowing his concern was probably silly. She was merfolk and water is what she and her kind survived in. “To see how you faired through the icy winter.”
Her thoughts had muffled the steps approaching. Now that she could see the newcomer, her ears recognized the gait. The expression on her face softened into something far more genuine and she sighed, letting the façade slide off her shoulders. Privately, she had worried for Nod too; winters were not unfamiliar to him but that did not make surviving any easier. She could admit to herself that not seeing him for so long made her a little anxious, and the lack of food that came with winter did not help to ease her mind. There were less clashes between the Lost Boys and the Pirates during the winter, but that did not mean that they were any safer.
“You didn’t have to do that,” she called out fondly, swimming closer to the shore. “The waters are warmer than the air.” With those words she reached the shoreline, and her red tail flicked out of the water as she leaned a little against a mound of rocks. This was a familiar position for the two of them, and some nights, Alana wondered if the rocks and the soil could hold the memories that her mind could not perfectly preserve. “But thank you all the same. And how have you fared? This winter has not been too harsh, has it?” It was a foolish hope, but she voiced it anyways, hoping to be proven wrong.
“There’s something wrong here. What haven’t you told me?”
Alana had hoped Wendy Darling was paying better attention to Neverland. Neverland was not the place to let your guard down, even if you were favored by Peter Pan. But it was not her place to spill such truths, nor did she understand why Wendy was back in this lagoon in the first place. “Were you talking to me, Wendy-girl?” She swam closer and grinned, tilting her head just so to let her fangs catch the sunlight. “It has been so very long since you’ve been here last!”
thrustfists:
Small bones do not fare well in Neverland winters, and it is reflected in Tinker Bells now blue tinged skin. She is not sure how much longer they can survive in these temperatures, and even with a fiery temper that was set alight at Peters return with Wendy, it did nothing to warm her freezing blood. ‘‘ No. ’’ is the response from Tink as she flutters into the lagoon. ‘‘ Alana, have you seen the weather? does it not appear the island is rejecting the return of that thing? she does not belong here. ’’
The words that spill from the small folk’s mouth reminds her of the way Callisto speaks about Wendy— and yet, from Tinker Bell’s lips those words sound less like an observation and more like the beginnings of a plan. With Callisto, she could hope to ward her away, distract her with pretty things and mindless games and the reminder that Wendy’s blood would be a death sentence for the merfolk. Tinker Bell had no such limits. She was special to Peter Pan. “It is still so dreadfully cold—” she mused aloud, raising her fingers from the water and hissing at the biting breeze. Tinker Bell was right. Wendy Darling did not belong on this Island. “I tire of the cold.”
memeroundups:
Confrontation! Sentence Memes
You don’t think of anyone but yourself.
Admit it, you’re scared aren’t you?
You’re out of control!
I hardly ever recognize you anymore, you’ve changed.
You spend all your time locked up doing lord knows what!
Don’t sneak up on me like that.
I heard the commotion last night… it must of been a terrible dream.
Listen, about last night…
Here’s a tip, stop hiding behind excuses each time someone is worried about you.
Why are you alone most of the time?
Weren’t you friends with them?
Aren’t you tired of lying to yourself?
I should have known better… than to be fooled by you.
You’re pretty satisfied with serving on your knees most of the time, huh?
Quit getting in my face.
I’m warning you, get off my back.
I didn’t need your help.
What’s your problem with me?
You say you don’t recognize me, but you’re the one who’s changed.
When will you quit pretending to care? I’m tired of your lip service.
You can’t stand being next to me. Why is that?
Not everyone is going to leave you, but not everyone is going to stay.
You’re gonna get nothing but sass from me if you don’t change the topic.
How many have you killed?
What if they catch you?
This is dangerous…
I know you didn’t have the best relationship with your father/mother…
You’re tired of fighting, aren’t you?
What have you ever gotten out of this?
They’re using you.
I was only using you.
I’ve known your secret this entire time.
Do you really think no one will find out?
Someone is bound to see the true you and I’ll be there for your reckoning.
You only push me away. Let me help.
Are you suggesting we commit treason?
Don’t fool yourself, you’re just as loathsome as I am.
Stop. I won’t have these unnecessary misgivings. Focus on your task.
Your skepticism is easy to read. What is it that you’re doubting?
In the end, we’ve only gotten more pain. I’m sick of this.
You’re going to run away?
We’re escaping. Tonight.
Make no mistake, we’re not friends.
You’re low. Lower than scum.
I’m only helping you this once.
Be a little more grateful about my help, you would of been a goner.
You can’t do this alone, let me go with you.
You keep can’t doing this yourself, let me intervene I’m sure we can resolve this.
You keep being singled out, it isn’t fair.
Quit mothering me, I said I’ve got this under control.
Maybe you should stop worrying about me and look at yourself first.
Help me? You could hardly help yourself.
Of course making friends would be easy for you, you’re eager to please.
You really are an emotionless robot.
How can you brush me off, if you’ve never even given me a chance?
Don’t touch me.
Get out.
Get away from them!
Watch out!
You’re in danger.
Your loved one is in danger.
If you won’t do it, I’m sure your friend wouldn’t mind being in your place.
Please. Talk to me.
Don’t you ever say that again.
Don’t pretend we’re friends.
It was easy for your friends to abandon you.
Shut up!
Let go of me.
Tell them how you really feel.
You’re not fooling anyone with your haughty display of strength.
Offended? I’m surprised. I thought you were hollow and unfeeling.
Tell me where it is.
You said you’d never lie to me.
There’s nothing wrong in doing what is absolutely necessary. The ends justify the means.
You obey order without question, you’re just a docile dog aren’t you?
Maybe if you stopped being such an ice queen/king people would enjoy being around you.
You scorn others around you but you’ve never once stopped to open your eyes.
98. “We’ve all done things to survive. There are such sins at my back, it would kill me to turn around.”
Understanding filled her bones— she did not know this pirate, (although he is vaguely familiar) but she did know these words, deep within her soul. Still, her gaze stayed scrubbed clean of such emotions. Instead, she swam closer, a smile edging across her face. "Such wretched thoughts... careful now, we mermaids might want to cheer you up." The end of her sentence was filled with a dark promise that she was loathe to follow through with. Alana could only hope that the pirate before her would turn around and go back to The Jolly Roger before the others came back to coax his secrets out of him, or worse.
“I’ll not bore myself with explanations you cannot possibly understand.”
If it those words had been said by anybody else, she would have been offended, or hurt. But this was Peter Pan— it was a blessing to be overlooked by him. Alana simply smiled, swimming in a wide circle in the lagoon as she stared at the boy. "Being bored really is a pain," she sighed, a pout on her lips as she endeavored to change the subject. She had no desire to feed this conversation more than it had already been fed. She lifted a hand out of the water, watching droplets slide down her skin like the vapidly vain mermaid she was supposed to be.
Penny Dreadful Sentence Starters
“You’re pretty goddamn sure you know what’s going on all the time.”
“And that everything can again be like it was… though I know that can never be.”
“You do not belong here, even less than I.”
“I wonder what lips yours have kissed and where. Too many, I’m sure.”
“So have the courage to face your own sin before you cite mine so easily.”
“When the moment comes, look into my eyes and pull the trigger.”
“May I kiss your neck?”
“How cruel you are…”
“Can I help you in any way?”
“And what do you seek to escape?”
“I believe in everything but god.”
“I thought you liked games.”
“Where is your master?”
“I hate him, that fucker, God, you see.”
“You should’ve kissed me. Will you kiss me now?”
“Her passing was a thing of grace, I promise you.”
“What a simple thing it is to snap your neck. You are so fragile, you…”
“Don’t let me hurt anyone.”
“There was a time I would gladly have killed you, and there may come a time when I gladly shall.”
“Your hands want to touch, but your head wants to appraise. Your heart is torn between the two.”
“Do not be amazed at anything you see… and don’t hesitate.”
“To save her, I would murder the world.”
“Whatever interest, whatever need you think you have, you must forget you ever saw it.”
“You can do better. Give me words.”
“What happened to your lip?”
“As you grow up, you’ll learn we all do things which cause us shame. Sins we have committed…”
“No, no, I don’t want to sleep!”
“I love you for your weakness.”
“Did I deserve that?”
“There’s something wrong here. What haven’t you told me?”
“Perhaps it has always been there – this thing, this demon inside me – or behind my back, waiting for me to turn around.”
“There are things you can’t control.”
“You really shouldn’t come in here…”
“Your daddy says come home, so home you come.”
“Stop this right now.”
“I could never love you.”
“Because the truth is unendurable.”
“Right behind you. Don’t you feel him in the dark? On the back of your neck, his breath… Now one finger reaching out… Do you not feel it?”
“If your goal is to have me surrender to you, that day will never come.”
“There’s always a way to make a living when you’ve a bit of flesh, isn’t there?”
“Nothing I would say would come as a surprise, so you simply want the satisfaction of hearing me say it. Very well.”
“Hell, you sought it out and fucked it.”
“And what will you do with this little bit of my soul?”
“That’s why you’re a virgin.”
“Do what you have promised me!”
“Who can tell about such things, such hidden things? Such secrets we all have, don’t we?”
“I’ll not bore myself with explanations you cannot possibly understand.”
“We shall live with our guilt, you and I.”
“We’ve all sinned. No one knows that better than me.”
“But I love you in a different way.”
“If you let all this happen so that you could manipulate her… I’ll rip your throat out.”
“Don’t be naïve; it doesn’t suit you.”
“You can’t resist me forever, darlin’.”
“Don’t be frightened. Here it is. Everything.”
“Would you like to see something interesting?”
“Answer me, you rude thing.”
“It’s not an easy thing, this you ask of me.”
“Don’t ask permission. If you want to do a thing, do it because it is your desire, not my allowance. You must risk rejection.”
“You won’t be able to deny it.”
“Say it like that and you can get me to do anything.”
“I’m so sorry about last night.”
“God, how I envied you. Perhaps I even hated you.”
“This is a long, grueling, dangerous thing you ask.”
“I’ve not been good. What waits for me on the other side of the door?”
“Something whispered… I listened.”
“You play your role well, but this is not who you are.”
“I… I see things sometimes.”
“Now kindly stop wasting my time, and get out!”
“You have no idea how I fight this thing. This thing inside me.”
“I think you’re bloodthirsty.”
“I believe in a place between heaven and hell, between the living and the dead, a glorious place of everlasting rebirth. I believe in salvation. Do you believe in such a place?”
“This is obscene! You mustn’t!”
“I should warn you; this is not completely legal.”
“I would choose her over you. I might even hope I get the chance.”
“After all this time… she came to me.”
“No wonder you fled from me.”
“What’ve you done to yourself?”
“I’ve never fucked a dying creature before. Do you feel things more deeply I wonder… Do you feel pain?”
“My, my! That temper of yours!”
“In that case, would you like to have an adventure?”
“I like to be looked at.”
“This is a bit beyond my usual practice.”
“You should let me die.”
“Just know that you have made my visit here truly memorable. I shall never forget you.”
“Between us, there’s a rare connection. I won’t deny it, but that very intimacy released something unhealthy in me, something I cannot allow.”
“I suppose we take the happiness we can. Do you?”
“Little girls shouldn’t play with toys like that.”
“There is no going back from this moment.”
“Can I ask you a favor?”
“I’m so glad to see you recovered.”
“There are times when we are compelled…”
“She’s been possessed by the devil.”
“Do you believe in fate?”
“There’s no goddamn future in it for either of us! Who’re we trying to fool?”
“Best you didn’t kiss me anymore. Keep a safe distance.”
“You know my name. Aren’t we family here?”
“I have a complicated history with the Almighty.”
“We’ve all done things to survive. There are such sins at my back, it would kill me to turn around.”
“Do you feel I owe you an explanation?”
“I can’t seem to get it out of my head.”
The world was only just beginning to thaw, and a pang of guilt arced through her with every glimpse of green under the frost. There was nothing she could have done to dissuade Peter Pan, but it ached her all the same. Wendy Darling had gotten away, even taking some of those Lost Boys with her— and yet here she was, back in Neverland. Back in this cage. Peter Pan had whispered to her, a maniacal grin as he spoke of dreams and magic and bringing Wendy Darling back where she belonged. It made her sick, and as always she was glad for the solitude. Solitude was an old friend of hers, and it mingled well with this roiling guilt. A few moments alone, without the merfolk and without some Lost Boy looking for a trophy was all she wanted.
A rustling of the leaves nearby caught her attention, and inwardly, Alana sighed. Solitude never lasted as long as she liked. She listened for a moment longer, taking in how the sound only seemed to be getting louder, before she dived back underwater. A sharp grin stretches across her face as she spins back up, creating an almighty splash as she re-emerged. “Have you come to play?” she calls out, her voice airy and teasing.
“There is no creature whose inward being is so strong that it is not greatly determined by what lies outside it.”
— George Eliot, Middlemarch
I’ve loved him my whole life, and somewhere along the way, that love didn’t change but grew. It grew to fill the parts of me that I did not have when I was a child. It grew with every new longing in my body and desire in my heart until there was not a piece of me that did not love him. And when I look at him, there is no other feeling in me.
If He Had Been with Me, Laura Nowlin (via jvstlikemagic)