Lola V is a Dirty Girl @alazygirlsguidetoenlightenment - Tumblr Blog

is anyone still on this? does #mumblr still exist? what is tumblr now?

Janelle Monáe — PYNK

My hair is certainly an act of rebellion. My whole life I was told I was ugly. Specifically, I was teased by kids my own color for having “bad hair”. From 5th grade up until my freshman year of college. No matter what I knew I was ugly. I could never wear my hair out because what I was born with wasn’t pretty and would never be good enough. It didn’t grow big enough or lay flat enough. I permed it and it fell out. I cut it and then I looked like a man. I spent so much time repeated all they shit they told me. This stigma of being ugly has followed me my whole life. I took a year off from looking into my own eyes as a child when looking into a mirror. I cut myself and was suicidal. I got used to the vibe. I was to just make myself small, which felt hard being tall and dark with a lisp and a short ass fro that wouldn’t grow and would lay right. I covered it with weaves the same way I covered my wrists with long sleeve in the summer. You can’t see me. You can’t see me. I hid my hair and I hid myself. I just wanted to be small. Shit not even pretty..just left alone. I cried the first time I let the man I love see me with my hair out. I thought being myself would break the spell.. listen.. I’m tired. Even pushing 30 I still feel those echoes on my soul. So every day I’m rebellious. I’ve been rebelling for almost 2 years now. I don’t want to be made to feel like I have to hide any more... 🤷🏾‍♀️

magictransistor

Ma Kali. Tantric depiction of Kali united with a Sadhaka while standing on Shiva. 1890.

ximaraix

gqa1

Reblog In 5 seconds for good luck

veryfemmeandantifascist

this is the future! our trans sisters of color being successful and living care free!

gogoadaggio

i love this wow

thatidomagirl

Leyna Bloom, Tracey Africa and Geena Rocero

ithelpstodream

hereislight

COMPLIMENTS THAT AREN’T ABOUT PHYSICAL APPEARANCE 1) You’re empowering. 2) I like your voice. 3) You’re strong. 4) I think your ideas/beliefs matter. 5) I’m so happy you exist. 6) More people should be listening to what you have to say. 7) You’re a very warm hearted person. 8) It’s nice seeing such kindness. 9) You’re very down to earth. 10) You have a beautiful soul. 11) You inspire me to become a better person. 12) Our conversations bring me a lot of joy. 13) It’s good to see someone care so much. 14) You’re so understanding. 15) You matter a lot to me. 16) You’re important even if you don’t think so. 17) You’re intelligent. 18) Your passion is contagious. 19) Your confidence is refreshing. 20) You restore my faith in humanity. 21) You’re great at being creative. 22) You’re so talented at ____. 23) I don’t get tired of you the way I get tired of other people. 24) You have great taste in ___. 25) I’m happy I stayed alive long enough to meet you. 26) I wish more people were like you. 27) You’re so good at loving people.

3:29 p.m. feel free to add to this! (via hereislight)

I’d like to graduate but I have to take this “Strategies to Success” class since I dropped out.

Tatiana D. Cleveland

22 September 2017

Strategies for Success SL

Professor Holloway

How Do You Respond to Stress?

There were a lot of adverse reactions I noticed that I experience when I am under stress after completing the worksheet. Almost all of the reactions I experience, which explains why I end up feeling so overwhelmed at times. I feel like my coping mechanisms have evolved over time. As a child I struggled with depression and was a self mutilator and into college these unhealthy habits followed me. They eventually led to me dropping out during my “junior year” at UNCP in 2012. I’ve tried writing, yoga, exercise and running away. My favorite method of coping is running away in fact. It is debatable whether it is the most healthy, but it does have its benefits under certain circumstances. When I dropped out I ran away to AmeriCorps to “find myself”. Now I have a career in nonprofit management and am expected to be much more accountable than I was in 2012. I like feeling like I am not helpless. So if I feel trapped now I immediately begin searching for a solution or at least an action step so that I am not stuck. Also so I don’t begin to rationalize running away. I am in the closet to my employer, instructors and friends as being somewhere between bipolar & borderline personality disorder. It is really hard for me maintaining a healthy schedule, and not always in ways I can anticipate or control. However, I don’t like discussing it because people begin to believe they know you based off of what second hand information they may have received about someone else’s circumstances. I am intelligent and capable, and do not want to be denied opportunities to show this based off of being judged.

This problem has only worsened with motherhood, single motherhood at that. Yet, I stay determine to control myself in the best ways I can. I have to prove that I am more than just a runner. That I can feign stability to work, to parent, to assimilate.

I was really good at doing yoga to maintain a sense of control or at least peace with the cycles of stress in day to day life, but it’s been a few months since I’ve been regularly practicing now. Sometimes I find the hardest thing about being stressed is taking the first step. In theory I know all sorts of amazing ways to cope with stress, to make my life more manageable. In actual practice I feel like an incapable nut job who has been given a map with the correct directions but insists on navigating blindfolded and walking backwards. So I would say that I find my biggest hindrance would be actually self accountability more than stress. I realize as much as my personality is dictated by chemical imbalances in my brain, there is much I can do that I often choose not to act on. I enable myself to continue bad habits that in turn result in unnecessary stress in my life, or unhelpful coping mechanisms. I constantly operate in a state of emergency. A lot of us, myself included, are uncomfortable in our current situations, but comfortable with the familiarity of them. At least I understand my stress. Getting my life together sounds great and all, but that is uncharted territory. Those levels of newness, and often times accountability, can seem too foreign, too daunting to even attempt. So we complain about being stressed without ever genuinely attempting to stop enabling ourselves to self sabotage.

This is a cycle I am still hoping to escape.

treygotguap

ogcoke

Ogcoke

crymeweaves

EJ Johnson beating Kevin Hart with his $70,000 Birkin Bag

aspiritualwarrior

Happiness is strange; it comes when you are not seeking it. When you are not making an effort to be happy, then unexpectedly, mysteriously, happiness is there, born of purity, of a loveliness of being.

Jiddu Krishnamurti (via aspiritualwarrior)