lilunapotter:
“Merlin Al, you’re really fucking bad at this whole comforting thing.” She meant it to be a joke but since she was still crying it just sounded sad. She felt small and embarrassed, and she just wanted to go home, and hide under her covers. “You might not have meant it like that but thats how it is.” She wiped her eyes, not caring how much she smudged her makeup. “We’re different people but I should be more like her. We’re different people but she’s the one he wants, and I’m just the baby right?”
She bit the inside of her lip, hating that he was partly right. She was used to getting what she wanted without having to lift a finger. “Don’t act like I’m the only one in this family who hasn’t had things handed to me.” She crossed her arms indignantly. “I’de like to see you being honest about your feelings.”
“I’m not sure how I can make it any more obvious than I already have.” She sniffed, feeling humiliated. “Trust me if he wanted me he could have had me by now.” She thought back to the other day in his apartment, her dressed in his clothes, running her hands through his hair, leaving her bra in the bathroom. “Besides if he’s fucking Rose he wouldn’t want me. I’ve tried but I can’t make him love me.”
Albus wanted to be annoyed with her, but he felt sorry for her. Her whole life boiled down to her being too spoiled to be decisive. What kind of life was that? One where she couldn’t even tell the man she loved that she loved him? Even if it meant that he might spend the rest of his life with someone else? That was a sad existence. He brushed her tears away with his thumbs and nudged her chin. “Men don’t do obvious, Lil.” Make him love me, the sentiment behind that statement was naive enough to make Al want to shake Lily’s shoulders and scream you have no idea what you’re doing! You have no idea what kind of game you’re playing! But he couldn’t. He couldn’t do that to her. She was too upset, too hurt by the image of Rose and Teddy she had created in her head.
His father was so good at diffusing situations like this. Well, perhaps not exactly like this, but situations where tensions were running high. Harry had a way of of making things seem much less bleak than they really were. Albus was good at it too, sometimes. When he was less high. He wished he had a drink in his hand. Instead, he fished a cigarette out of his robes and lit it distractedly, offering Lily one while he thought. “What is it that you want, Lily? Ideally? Do you want Ted to declare his love for you? Do you want to be swept off your feet? Do you have any idea how you would fit together as a couple? The logistics of it? You’ve known each other all your lives. What would it be like if you got tighter and it didn’t work?”
“Not to mention… he’s our brother. In every sense of the word. Dad can’t just, like, let go of him if you decide to end it. If you say you love him you have to mean it absolutely in every sense of the word. You have to be sure that you’re sure. You have to be ready to marry him tomorrow. The problem is, Lil,” he gave her a stern look, or as stern as he could manage in his current state, “is that he’s definitely not ready to marry anyone tomorrow. Or the next day. Or probably not within the next year. I’d wager Ted wouldn’t be ready to settle down for a while.”
