( * pour it up, pour it up )

im a wild child, sitting on my throne. going all out, going for broke, cause i'm a wild child.

[thelovejournals]

She’s a mess of gorgeous chaos and you can see it in her eyes.

Charles Bukowski (via thelovejournals)

[nuevayor]

*remembers im attracted to men* unfortunate 

[alcssandrc]

zxcharie-h

Her words cut through him and Zacharie didn’t know what to say in return. Putting the bottle down he crossed the kitchen walking over to her but keeping the right distance just watching her. “I want my wife,” he said honestly his voice low and serious. “What happened to us Aless?” He added after a moment his hands itching for the bottle he’d left on the counter behind him. He’d been turning to his favorite drink and little more than usual since things between the two of them had started to deteriorate. Instead of going back for it he stepped forward reaching for her. “Aless…”

What happened to us?

Those words hung between the two of them as she bit back the urge to cry. Hot, angry tears rolled down her cheeks, causing the brunette to let out a frustrated growl, swiping angrily at them. She didn’t care if her make-up smeared or if streaks of mascara tracked their way down her face. A part of her wanted to pull away, put more distance between them--but as Zac stepped closer, arms reaching for her, she found herself stuck to the spot. “I--I don’t fucking know.” The words were hoarse and hushed, little more than a broken whisper as she wrapped her arms around herself, hugging her slim frame tight to keep from shaking too much as her husband stepped closer. She couldn’t look at him, not directly; she’d already cried too much and the alcohol-induced haze clouding her coherent thoughts made it difficult to hold back the sudden rush of emotions. No, she let him come closer, even if she couldn’t admit that this is exactly what she wanted. “I don’t fucking know what happened to us.”

[theroning]

The Wolf of Wall Street (dir. by Martin Scorsese, 2013).

[alcssandrc]

[ @zxcharie-h ]

“Oh, fuck, Venice, yes. Just like that.”

Aless could already imagine the sound of her husband’s low, strained growl as he uttered those words as some two-bit slut arched under him, whimpering and begging Zacharie to fuck her harder, faster, better. She could hear those very words in his voice, taunting and seductive--all for another woman. A part of the vivacious brunette knew she couldn’t even expect any better out of him--not anymore. He was flashy, powerful, famous--and famous men didn’t do loyalty. After all, that’s how they had ended up together in the first place. But that didn’t stop the surge of white hot fury from pulsing through her veins. She heard him moan the name in his sleep. Venice. As if she wouldn’t hear him, as if she wouldn’t know exactly what he had been up to in the two weeks he claimed to be away on “business” for.

She wasn’t stupid--and goddammit, she was going to break him for it. Seething with pure fury, the brunette stormed her way into the master bedroom with a glass of ice water clenched in her hand, knowing that Zac was still fast asleep. “wake the fuck up you bastard!” Aless’s voice was harsh as she threw the iced liquid all over his face. She didn’t care if that was petty or low; no, she was more concerned about getting answers. Now.

“Venice? Who the fuck is Venice?”

[alcssandrc]

zxcharie-h

I’m the idiot.

The thought crossed his mind before he could stop it, looking away from her with another heavy sigh. Aless was able to press every single one of his buttons, and he hated that no matter what he always rose to the bait. He had been in love with her once, no he still loved her. That wasn’t something that was just going to go away but he couldn’t deal with this anymore.

She was crying though. He hated it when she cried, especially when he was the cause of it.“Then what do you want Aless? Because from here it sure as hell seems that you’d be happier without me around.” He said tiredly taking another drink from the bottle in his hand.“Maybe I’m an idiot but you aren’t exactly acting like you want me around.”

“I want my husband back!” The words were blurted out before she could even stop them, the angry tears leaving streaks in her make-up as slender shoulders trembled. She hated crying; she always felt weak. Pathetic. Like less of a woman for letting a man control how high her emotions ran--but she couldn’t help it. She couldn’t help how her heart ached, how everything seemed twisted and convoluted nowadays. “God--fuck, Zac. Fuck, I just want us back. Not... this. not this fucking bullshit and arguing and... fuck.”

[alcssandrc]

zxcharie-h

Zacharie didn’t bother answering her right away, taking another long drink from the bottle in his hand. Placing it down on counter with a heavy sigh he leveled Aless with a hard look. “Perhaps I’m not home because it’s obvious that you don’t want me here. Did you ever think of that?” His words were laced with poison as he glared at his wife. He had been over and over their relationship in the past few weeks, just trying to pick out the spot where everything had gone wrong. But no matter how many times he did, he couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment. One thing was clear though, whatever they had, had was now broken. Their relationship had run its course and now they were forced to deal with the consequences.

“Of course I know you.” He snapped gripping the bottle tightly. “I know you better than you want to believe and I don’t need to be sneaking around my own house to be able to see that you don’t want me here.” The rational part of his brain was trying to tell him that she was obviously drunk. He shouldn’t be getting angry with her over something that there was a chance she wasn’t going to remember in the morning.

“You’re a fucking idiot.” Insults were hardly finessed enough for an argument of this caliber--but she was too drunk to think anymore. She couldn’t string together something clever or witty when all she felt was fire in her veins and pain in her chest. She loved Zac once--fuck, she still did. He was the only one to have ever brought out another side of the vivacious young woman and to see everything they had crumble and fall between her fingers like loose grains of sand... it was painful. 

Before she even realized what was happening, hot and angry tears began to blur her vision. She could hardly make out her husband’s figure setting his drink down or even distinguish the trailing bands of ink against his pale skin. No, her head felt foggy and her movements sluggish--and before she could even stop them, streaks of hot tears made their way down her cheeks. Aless could feel herself shaking. “You’re a fucking idiot if that’s what you think I want.”

[inharrystyles]

[alcssandrc]

zxcharie-h

Zacharie Hendricks often avoided going home nowadays. His home had become something of a war-zone lately. His relationship with his wife had deteriorated into something that was so far from what it had started as. He loved Alessandra, he honestly loved her so much it physically hurt him to admit that he had probably been the reason everything had been royally fucked up. Emotions had never really been something that Zacharie had been any good at. He didn’t know how to properly express himself and that only left him with arguments and fights because she was obviously disappointed in him.

But he was often to angry to care.

Her accusation hit him hard. He’d never cheat on her and she knew that. He could already feel the fight building and he hadn’t even said anything yet. Aless wanted a fight and she was going to do everything she could to get one. “Don’t lie to me and tell me that you even care when I come home anymore Aless.” Rolling his eyes and walking past her to get his own bottle of whiskey from the fridge. “And you of all people should know that I’d never cheat on you.”He added dryly before taking a drink.

“Well there has to be some godforsaken reason you never fucking come home anymore.” Her words were sharp, a cutting accusation to her words as she fixed him with a bitter glare. Her grip on the neck of the bottle remained tight--tight enough that a part of her was worried it would break in her hands. But at the same time, she couldn’t be bothered to care. not as narrowed green eyes honed in on the man she called her husband. Zac had been the love of her life--still was, if she dared to be honest--but somewhere along the line, their picture-perfect, whirlwind courtship had gone bad. And now they were forced to pick up the pieces.

A cold scoff escaped her as she picked the bottle up and took a long sip to busy herself. Her head was foggy and her movements were sluggish--but she didn’t care. Not really. She could still feel and that within itself was still too much for her. “Don’t act like you fucking know what I care or don’t care about. You don’t even know me, Zac. How could you accuse me of lying when you’re never around to even see the fucking truth, anyway?” Her words rattled out of her somewhat drunkenly, syllables meshing together as anger injected itself into each sound falling past her bow-shaped lips.

[alcssandrc]

tag dump !

[alcssandrc]

She fucking hated him. She fucking hated every goddamn thing about him. From his ego to his pomp to the way he licked his lips just right, leaving her knees weak and her back against the wall. She hated how he never seemed to want her until she was on her knees and sucking him off in the way she knew only she could. She hated him. She hated what they became--and more than anything, she hated how she couldn’t get herself over him. It was a vicious, ugly cycle that dialed itself on repeat. Zacharie Hendricks, her husband. Zacharie Hendricks, her number one enemy. How the two became interchangeable even Aless didn’t know.

But the thought of it alone was why the woman found herself nursing a bottle of whiskey on her own in the kitchen of the massive mansion that had become more like a warzone. She tilted her head back, taking a large gulp of the alcohol without flinching before sighing and halfway slamming the damn bottle to the countertop. He wasn’t home--he never fucking was, anymore--and when Aless was left to her own devices, she tended to stew in her hatred. Or was it love? It was all so convoluted that she couldn’t even dissect the two from each other, not even as the sound of familiar footsteps echoed down the corridor. No, she couldn’t be bothered to care if he came in right now to find her half-drunk off of whiskey, half-drunk off of emotions that always seemed to run a little too high with her. 

“So your fucking ass decided to finally show up at home, huh? What, your intern whores weren’t keeping you late tonight?” It was a low blow, but she couldn’t help it as she spat those words out at him, manicured fingers gripping the neck of the bottle that much more tightly.

[brooklynsul]

[jamespadfoot]

[leave-me-colourless]

You’re a woman, use it; bring every man you meet to his motherfucking knees

My mother  (via seulray)

[dialnfornoir]

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (1958)