A Practical Guide to Evil Liveblog

What it says on the title. Sends asks to https://aleja-liveblog-asks.tumblr.com

[aleja-liveblog]

A LOT LOT LOT OF REALLY LATE ASKS

While I’m here, @lilietsblog send me a bunch of asks a while ago (back in october) that first I forgot about and then I felt awkward since it was months ago. But since I’m still here, I’ll push through the awkwardness i’ve been avoiding since December 

Note they send a bunch, some numbered but apparently the second one is missing. @lilietsblog i dont expect you to remenber after months but if you do...

Also this is so fucking long that im putting a keep reading 

About Catherine and Rat Company (1): these are war games monitored by adults. They are intended to be training, and even though winning/losing also matters, I imagine major breaches of discipline (ie straight up disobeying the person supposed to be your commanding officer, which was Catherine with Nauk incapacitated) would be remarked and punished anyway. In the army it's more important to obey than to be clever or the whole thing can't work.”

No comment since I know nothing about armies but i’ll take your word for it 

(3) You keep suspecting Name shenanigans, but you think if Catherine was a side character and someone else became lieutenant and then led them to actual successes against First Company they wouldn't be cheering that person on and swearing eternal loyalty (until evening anyway)? It's just how people work. Charismatic leaders are a real world thing, not just a story thing. Story can enhance what's already there, but Speaking has been explicitly called out so far. Catherine isn't doing that.”

Really good point. Also consider this, I will suspect Name shenanigans until the day I die. The story will end, I will be in my deathbed, and I will tell my grieving family that it was Name shenanigans in apgte

“(4) The subtler effects of Name shenanigans are mostly in coincidences and luck. What COINCIDENCE it is that Cat was placed in the loser company willing to rally behind ANYONE who gave them even a modicum of success. What COINCIDENCE it is that they went up against First Company, making Cat look even more impressive in context. And, uh, the fact Cat got lieutenant's position is explicitly no coincidence, just Black's fiat. That's being apprentice to the head of the army for you.”

See above for my take on this (also I truly hope in my deepest of hearts that you know its deep Name manipulation because you already read this and am trying to throw me off. Because I would love a story about confronting Tropeworld, please give me this) 

“(5) To bring characterterization together a little bit: remember how Sergeant Ebele in Rat's Nest liked Cat and encouraged her? Remember how Cat fast-talked her way into a rebel group? Remember how she called herself out for being too much of a brave idiot when she went to save that girl in chapter 1? She's just in the exact position to show off and capitalize on these traits that were there from before Black got involved.”

Really good Catherine analyzing and I agree. After all theres a reason Black picked her. BUT it can be Cat being charming and leadering material, AND name stuff. I dont trust the Names and Roles at all. 

“(6) These are TEENAGERS in a WAR GAME. LEEEEEROY JEEEEEEEEENKINSSS!!!!!.... tl;dr it would take a mind-controlling Name to get these children to act DIFFERENTLY in this situation lmao”

Oh yes, holy crap this is just lord of the flies. However,I’m still side eyeing everything

 “ God this will give birth to so many more rumors. Who laughs in the middle of fighting?" this is called adrenaline and I'm not saying ANYONE would but it's at the very least a real thing lmao (if you're of Catherine's temperament~)”

Are you sure? Absolutely sure?  I didn’t want to know that and I’m pretty sure there will still be rumors even if that only makes a small percentage of the ones that will pop up (hell we just seen the Blackguards take Cat in front of her classmates, god the rumors everywhere)

(I am not saying whether there are or not Name shenanigans involved, why that would be spoilers. Just pointing out that it comes together as is, either way)

Name shenanigans  Name shenanigans  Name shenanigans

(the psychological parts come together, anyway. No comment on jumping over rolling logs)

oh yeah we’ve already seen its pretty impossible and it tipped of Hellhound 

...

and a comment from when I returned last month

WELCOME BACK WE MISSED YOU 

I was gonna keep this one to myself but I’m already commented of everything else from lili so why not. thank you :)

[aleja-liveblog]

Also some fanart shared with me by @magmasliveblogs They said this is Akua. I dont remenber who akua was, buts its been a while so maybe its a minor character cause i can’t find her in my notes. She’s very pretty though and the art is great 

[aleja-liveblog]

second fanart . The Juniper aka Hellhound I wanted. Thank you @magmasliveblogs​ 

[aleja-liveblog]

Also some fanart shared with me by @magmasliveblogs They said this is Akua. I dont remenber who akua was, buts its been a while so maybe its a minor character cause i can’t find her in my notes. She’s very pretty though and the art is great 

[aleja-liveblog]

Not a liveblog, god I hate tumblr. 

[aleja-liveblog]

1.20 chapter thoughts

I wrote a really long deep analysis last time but fuck it I’m not gonna write it again, half because I don’t feel like it and half because I don’t actually remenber what I wrote. 

So this chapter was both interesting and traumatizing. We all know why and I don’t think it bears repeating. Absolutely every part of the Tower and every person inside is deadly, evil, and the seer rhyme is totally appropriate for both. You could not pay me to go in. also Black is a little bitch to both Catherine, a random High Lord, and Malicia. What else is new.

Malicia is Tiana for now, I can not be the first person to think of this.but since I’m pretty sure apgte fandom is not that big maybe I am. If I am, yay me. Either way, apparently she’s the most gorgeous woman alive and she’s gonna kill Catherine with either her looks or a knife. Either works. At least Catherine powers are growing, so maybe she’ll kill Malicia first. Wouldn’t be surprised if the story ended with Empress Catherine (though considering all the names, maybe she’ll be Empress Catastrophe, who knows) 

[aleja-liveblog]

Also Rise is either the rising to the Official Imperial Court or the fact Catherine is rising up in the world. I like the latter more even if she’s rising while going to the den of evil

[aleja-liveblog]

1.20 chapter thoughts

I wrote a really long deep analysis last time but fuck it I’m not gonna write it again, half because I don’t feel like it and half because I don’t actually remenber what I wrote. 

So this chapter was both interesting and traumatizing. We all know why and I don't think it bears repeating. Absolutely every part of the Tower and every person inside is deadly, evil, and the seer rhyme is totally appropriate for both. You could not pay me to go in. also Black is a little bitch to both Catherine, a random High Lord, and Malicia. What else is new.

Malicia is Tiana for now, I can not be the first person to think of this.but since I’m pretty sure apgte fandom is not that big maybe I am. If I am, yay me. Either way, apparently she’s the most gorgeous woman alive and she’s gonna kill Catherine with either her looks or a knife. Either works. At least Catherine powers are growing, so maybe she’ll kill Malicia first. Wouldn’t be surprised if the story ended with Empress Catherine (though considering all the names, maybe she’ll be Empress Catastrophe, who knows) 

[aleja-liveblog]

There we stood, the two of us clad in steel and black like a pair of crows surrounded by birds of paradise

oh this metaphor is awesome. yeah, gonna plagiarize it for my essays

The only two people still on our feet among a sea of kneelers. I felt a shiver go down my spine at the sight. It felt like power. It felt like a beginning, though of what I was not sure.

Enjoy it while you can Catherine. Either you’re gonna fall dramatically or you’ll rise so massively that you’ll get used to the thrill

Also yeah, the beginning of your end, or the Empire’s end, or Malicia’s end. Its SOMEONE’s end

Dread Empress Malicia smiled as she sashayed toward us – just looking at the quirk of her lips made my heart clench.

Catherine please. I will give you water somehow if you continue, I dont care if you’re not real, i will

“Welcome home, Amadeus,” she said. “I see you brought along your Squire.”

I just heard the tan tan taaaan.  lets hope her voice is hideous or Catherine is gonna melt into the floor. 

[aleja-liveblog]

I didn’t do this before, but now I went searching for Malicia in my notes and a) pretty sure she’s at least older than 30 (since the Conquest is older than 20 years and she has had to be more than 10 to lead it) and b) since she the first of her name, she’s the one that said  “Power is mostly a matter of making the right corpses at the right time.”.

....like I said before, you do you Malicia. I’m just gonna go to the corner and fear you more than I already did 

[aleja-liveblog]

it was impossible not to think of something sinful when looking at her

oh wow, ok Catherine do you need some water right now. Calm your thirst 

Fluidly, with the easy grace of a hunting cat, she rose to her feet

yeah she probably does hunt people for sport. wouldn’t surprise me

“All kneel for Her Most Dreadful Majesty Malicia, First of Her Name, Tyrant of Dominions High and Low, Holder of the Nine Gates, Sovereign of All She Beholds,” a harsh voice rang out.

the nine gates is new and interesting. Wonder if this will be important later

Without thinking I was halfway to doing the same when a hand fell upon my shoulder.

“We,” Black said, “do not kneel.”

you guys should have seen my eyebrows. Black are you sure? I know you’re her right-hand man but I feel like Cat will die if she doesn’t kneel

He’d spoken quietly, but in the hush of the room the words reverberated like the crack of a whip

He probably did this on purpose. Wants all the nobles to know where the real power is (how is he not dead again?)

The sentence was heavy with meaning, a claim and a declaration both. We do not follow the law. We are the law. And if you want me to kneel, come and make me.

If Cat can read this, Malicia definitely can. How is he not dead? Malicia either finds him too useful and has a plan in the wings to kill him if he gets too bitchy OR they have history and she’s fond of him (maybe she’s in love with him? best friend? father figure? (how old is she again?))

[aleja-liveblog]

You know its out there but I could totally see Tiana becoming the Dread Empress. She ambitious and really smart and too busy with her goals to see the people she was neglecting pre movie events . What I’m saying is that until we get Malicia’s backstory I’m gonna assume she’s a Tiana who changed her name after taking facilier’s deal

[aleja-liveblog]

The Empress was breathtaking because she was so very alive, like a bonfire compared to everyone else’s candle

Oh? I guess you need extra life and spark to get to the top here

I couldn’t pick out a single feature that made her beautiful, she just was.

mmmmh, my suspicious of magic just went up more. I mean its totally possible she is just like this but mmmh

Her silk dress was a stream of green and gold that suggested the curves of her body without revealing them, leaving bare her long neck and curling down to caress smooth dark calves. Black as sin

First, awesome that the super gorgeous woman is black. Also green and gold dress on a black royal? I think we now know what happened to Tiana after the movie

(if I could edit I would add a pitchfork in her hand)

poor Naveen probably got fed to demons 

[aleja-liveblog]

I schooled my own expression into something more neutral as I followed behind him, hearing the music that had been gently sounding in the background trail off as we did. 

I feel like Catherine’s neural face is still pretty goddamn expressive for these nobles. Also just record scratch, I wonder if this is because of Cat or if this always happens when Black shows up. 

The crowd parted before us as we strode with purpose, until we came to stand a few dozen meters away from the dais in the back of the room where the throne stood

oh i can just hear the dramatic music. Lets meet the Empress people

I barely looked at the throne itself, though it was a thing of legend, for all my attention was commanded by the woman sitting on it. I’d seen some beautiful women in my handful of years

you’re looking at a lengendary throne and the most powerful dangerous merciless woman in the world and you’re thinking about how pretty she is. God mood

I remembered thinking her hair looked like it was spun out of silver. She’d been pale as the moon and just as lovely.... sneaking looks at her smooth honey-coloured skin and amber eyes..the muscles of a swimmer and the mysterious smile of a sage.... gorgeous in a way I could only envy: generations of good breeding culminating in a perfect figure and flawless features that not even a sneer could mar.

There is an entire paragraph of Catherine being super gay and I love it. I hope Cat gets a gf one day

Compared to Dread Empress Malicia, they might as well have been pigs.

oh holy shit really? I wonder if this is magic cause you were really into Heiress

[aleja-liveblog]

But now I was in their natural habitat, and though I despised them on principle I had to admit they were a stunning sight.

all nobles are like this

Tunics and dresses of every colour and every pattern, every one of them more exotic than the last. Silk and brocade, velour and velvet and half a dozen other cloths I didn’t even know the name for. The hair styles for both men and woman were outrageously elaborate, from braids with emeralds woven into them to a closely-cropped head with ever-changing arcane patterns shaved into it

I’m taking a moment to imagine it and its very pretty. too bad they’re all murderous scumbags

There were Taghreb and Soninke both, and the overwhelming majority of the people inside were humans

yeah racism. Wait I don’t think thats the right word. xenophobism? 

There were but a handful of orcs, and no goblins at all 

I wonder if the orcs are also wearing elaborate human clothes. Also no goblins? that's outrageous. rip Chider, you died for a worthy cause

That I could see, anyway. Given their size they might be hiding behind someone else

I doubt it. Remember why Chider wanted to be Squire

Black stepped to my side and his face might as well have been carved out of stone

ok game face on. God so much anxiety right now 

[aleja-liveblog]

Golden hooks jutted from the walls, meant for guests to hang their coats on

There was such a thing as being too rich (I feel I’m gonna look at this quote for a long time while here)

Black casually adjusted his cape over his shoulders 

he must be fabulous to see the court

My first thought was that there was no way the throne room in display could actually fit inside the Tower.  It was way too broad and the ceiling was high enough I half-expected there to be clouds trailing the ceiling

the wonders of perspective, rearranging, and/or magic 

The usual theme of black marble hard returned with a vengeance, but this once there was actually a bit of colour around: drapes of red, green and gold cascaded down everywhere like strange cloth pillars

yay! color again!

The floor was one single immense mosaic depicting a hundred different scenes

I do NOT want to see any of those. I just know they’ll be horrifying/gory/a sin against all the goods of humanity 

My attention almost immediately left the decor

sigh of relief at leaving the mosaic

there must have been at least several hundred people standing in the gallery, and all of them were looking at us

oh be very careful. All of them have probably killed at least one person and at least half are probably imaging our demise as we speak 

[aleja-liveblog]

Several eternities later

yeah, i feel you

I opened my eyes again and let out a breath of relief

sigh and she just showed weakness. lets hope Black doesn’t use this against her one day. 

Also this wasn’t part of my original reaction but I just thought now that having a dragonish creature that speaks a evil language as the only way to get to a place is actually pretty awesome security on their part 

a large, gaudier version of the balcony we’d come from

I feel everything from now on will be larger and gaudier

Without waiting for anyone’s permission I jumped down from our ride, dancing out of the way when the creature turned to hiss and snap its teeth at me

Run Cat run. (I would have been eaten trying to pet the goddam dragon)

The balcony led into a smaller chamber with a handful of wooden benches heavily encrusted with gold and jewels. I eyed a ruby the size of my fist that probably made actually sitting on the bench highly uncomfortable and sighed

so many things I want to say here. But I’ll just let Cat say it for me

There was such a thing as being too rich

[aleja-liveblog]

“Everybody heard you telling it to take a bite in the Dark Tongue,” the Taghreb warrior replied, thoroughly unimpressed.

I don’t know whats funnier, that Black said that like a child or that there's a language called the dark tongue. Thats so fucking edgy my god 

“My pronunciation’s still a little off,” the Knight smiled sardonically. “I was trying to tell it to ‘take a hike’, I assure you.”

Sure Black, I totally believe you and I’m sure everyone else does

So I’m avoiding the High Lord of Nok, then.

yeah pretty sure the guy is dead. Black wouldn’t have left a job half done

The gargantuan warrior-woman spat out a harsh, guttural word in a language I didn’t recognize

the dark tongue perhaps (so goddamn edgy)

For a moment we were free falling and I bit my lip to keep myself from screaming

I’m sorry Cat but this sounds such fun. Remember if they wanted to kill you it wouldn't be so convoluted 

My old fear of heights was coming back with a vengeance

oh no. poor Cat (funnily enough my Kat, the one I know in real life is also afraid of height. I think. I’m pretty sure she is)

I close my eyes and clasped the handles hard enough I was sure my knuckles turned white.

oh poor baby. kind of want to hug her

[aleja-liveblog]

“You’re a bad man,” I accused. “A bad, bad man.”

I’m shocked

“Guilty,” he mused. “Though never charged.”

if you were charged though you would be convicted in seconds so its a good thing for you 

Against my better judgement, I snorted.

maybe if you encourage him he’ll spend more times joking and less time being horrid 

“I’m taking the reins on this one,” Captain spoke up in a tone that brooked no argument. “We’re not having a repeat of last time.”

oh? Is Black here a joyrider? Not as suprising as I thought it would be. After a minute of thinking, it makes sense

“I have no idea what you could possibly mean,” Black demurred. “High Lord Nok lingered too long on the landing pad. That accident could have happened to anyone.”

Yeah Black killed a man. The weird thing here is him killing a man and not admitting to it. But I guess crushing high lords makes thing differently