master of handling things completely wrong

Alex. JUST Alex. Call me Alexandra and I will shank you. Yes, I'm a (former) drug dealer, and yes I'm in prison. Judge me as you will. In love with a little blonde, blue eyed beauty.

[alixvause]

favourite vauseman kisses [7/?]

[alex-freaking-vause]

I already have 943 other threads with you, but let’s start another.

[alex-freaking-vause]

PSA for anybody who has ever felt insecure about how they write their character. Remember why you began writing them in the first place. Remember how much they mean to you and how much you enjoy writing them. There will be other people roleplaying the same character as you, it is inevitable, but there is only one of YOU and only one who plays the character they way YOU play them. You bring something special to that character. Something that nobody can mimic or do the same as because nobody is just like you. You need to accept that, and accept that there will be others, but just like you they will be playing the character their own way as well. Nobody is better. Nobody is the same. Nobody deserves to play a character more than another person does. This is no popularity contest and you should never feel as though you aren’t worthy of playing a character just because you or someone else has made you feel that way. Instead of comparing yourself to others who play the same character as you; try to embrace the differences and admire them. Cheer up and keep on keeping on. You love your character, you love roleplaying as that character, and in the end that is all that matters.

[angstmemes]

Send me ϟ for my muse to tell yours the story behind one of their scars.

[those-crazy-meme-nights]

Send "Wet Dream" and give My Muse a short but detailed Wet dream involving another Muse, see how they react when they wake up..

[itisntapityparty]

send me five times kissed for a drabble about five times our muses kissed

[roleplaymmemes]

Anonymously send me '+' and a question and my muse has to answer honestly.

[givemetherpmeme]

Send "Wanna fuck?" and I will generate my muses response to yours asking for sex.

1-20

1) “Hell no. Did someone slip something into your drink?” 2) “If we weren’t in the middle of the party…” 3) “Only if I get tops.” 4) “Only if I get to bottom.” 5) “You didn’t even have to ask.” 6) “You could have used a cheap pickup line to ask instead.” 7) “No. Just… no.” 8) “I don’t have any interest in screwing you.” 9) “Anal or oral?” 10) “Stop messing around.” 11) “You’ve got to try harder than that to get me in bed.” 12) “…Do I know you?” 13) “I should just slap you.” 14) “What the hell?” 15) “After all the times we’ve screwed, now you ask? Hell yes.” 16) “Are you joking?” 17) “Take me.” 18) “…I don’t know what the hell is in your mind.” 19) “Where did that come from?” 20) “No! Fuck off!”

[xfenharel]

Describe my writing style to me.

[alex-freaking-vause]

!

Oh my gosh, I love this so much, thanks for sending it! <33

Who was the one to propose: Misty. Alex is pretty much infamous for her fear of commitment. For a long time, she didn’t even date, just had a long string of one night stands or fwb’s. Serious relationships are super rare for Alex, and she finds herself constantly worried that something will happen. She’s terrified of change. So, it definitely wasn’t her idea to propose, that was all Misty.

Who stressed more over wedding planning: They both stressed  equally, but for different reasons. Misty did the usual worrying, freaking out over the colors and flower arrangements and constantly whining and pouting about it. Alex worried that something in Misty in change and she would call off the engagement. 

Who decorated the house: Both of them did. Having completely different styles, though, they argued constantly and would often end up taking each other’s stuff down when the one wasn’t home and replacing it.

Who is more organized: Both girls are equally messy. Neither one is organized, their room is an absolute mess and the only reason cleaning ever gets done is if the sink begins to overflow or something smells. But even then they’re pretty impartial to dirtiness and don’t mind it.

Who initiates bedroom fun: Mostly Alex. She’s got a famous love for women and sex, and her sex drive is almost always raging. But Misty gets frisky sometimes too and will tease Alex while she’s working until they end up in bed.

Who suggested kids first: Misty. Alex isn’t exactly a kid person, and she fears that she won’t be around, like her mother wasn’t for her. But Misty convinced her and they ended up very happy with children together.

Who’s more dominant: Alex. Alex is a total dominant personality while Misty is much more submissive, both sexually and not. 

Who’s the cuddler: Misty. She’ll cling to Alex like a barnacle, often while she’s trying to do something. But while Alex pretends to hate it, she secretly loves the blonde’s affection and loves to have Misty wrapped around her.

What’s their favorite non-sexual activity: They like to bake together, even though Misty can’t cook for shit and ends up burning the food half the time. But with Alex’s help, the two have fun baking cake or cookies.

Who kills the spiders: Alex. Misty is a scaredy-cat and will screech at the sight of a spider, letting Alex rush in to crush it.

Who falls asleep first: Misty, most of the time. She’s like a little kitten and will just curl up and pass out if she’s tired. She gets fatigued easily after sex, too, and has actually fallen asleep from exhaustion before Alex has finished before. Sometimes Alex will unexpectedly fall asleep if they’re watching a movie, though.

Who is louder? Sexually, Misty. Alex is great at keeping quiet while Misty tends to shriek and cry out, which Alex finds adorable but Misty is pretty embarrassed by. Non-sexually, they’re both pretty quiet and don’t make much noise unless provoked, Alex’s being more of a reserved quiet and Misty’s being more shyness.

Who is more experimental? Sex-wise, Alex. She loves to try new things in the bedroom, often slightly dangerous or risky things. Not sexually, though, Alex can be rather picky about food and things and doesn’t like to try new stuff. Misty is more open about that kind of thing.

Do they fuck or make love? It’s a combination of both. Alex loves to fuck, and while Misty is shy and embarrassed, she loves being taken and has often gone submissive to Alex’s dominant personality. But there have been many nights, especially after they were married, that they’ve been sweet and gentle with one another.

Who is more likely to be caught masturbating? Misty. Alex, surprisingly, isn’t one for masturbation. She loves sex, but will only masturbate if for the pleasure of a lover. Misty, however, while sweet and shy, plays with herself every once in a while.

Who comes first? Misty, most of the time. It often takes Alex a lot and a while to get there, and she’s better at holding it back. Misty can be rather quick to be pleasured, though, and can come embarrassingly fast at times.

Who is better at oral and who prefers it? She’ll never admit it to Misty, but Alex is much better and she knows it. She can eat a girl out like nothing else. Misty prefers being eaten out, too, so it all works out. Alex is more of a finger fuck kinda girl.

Who usually initiates things? Both do, but it’s mostly Alex. Like I said earlier, she has a very high sex drive and will often lure Misty into bed for some fun. But Misty will get horny sometimes, too.

Who is more sensitive? Misty, by far. Alex is a trained sex goddess and prefers to give rather than receive. Misty, much like her personality, is shy and sensitive and responds heavily to stimulation.

Who has the most patience? Neither girl has much patience. Alex tends to get frustrated easily, and she has a hard time putting up with Misty’s stubbornness. Misty, on the other hand, doesn’t like to wait and will often get stubborn when she’s left waiting.

[alex-freaking-vause]

DIBS DIBS DIBS DIBS DIBS DIBS DIBS DIBS DIBS DIBS DIBS

AHHHH I LOVE YOU BBY <33 THANK YOU!!

[alex-freaking-vause]

That's dirty

36. On your knees. ;)

[onceuponavauseman]

Piper would throw books across the room hitting the wall before slamming her back against the wall sliding down. “You’re not sexy doing that Al.. At all Jesus fucking Christ..” Piper would sigh running a hand through her hair. “Just the fact you could easily leave me anytime for anyone and yet I should be grateful? I am fucking grateful to have you either you don’t see that or you don’t believe it.”

[alex-freaking-vause]

“Piper, Piper, please,” Alex whimpered, knocking on Piper’s door. Her stomach filled with dread; she had never meant to make her girlfriend so mad. “Can you please just come out? I’m sorry, baby. I’m really sorry.” She sighed heavily, leaning against the door. “Why on earth would I leave you, Piper? You’re..the love of my life. I want you and only you. I believe that, I do. I was just kidding.” Gritting her teeth, Alex knocked on the door again. “You have to believe me. Come out and I’ll prove it to you.”

[alex-freaking-vause]

That's dirty

36. On your knees. ;)

[alex-freaking-vause]

onceuponavauseman:

“Fuck you Alex..” Piper hissed glaring back at her yanking her arm out. “I like you dominate and sexy, but that was way over the fucking line. I’m not even in the mood anymore to do anything like that now. So no I don’t want to ‘still eat you out.’ Congratulations Vause.” Piper would storm out of the kitchen going into their bedroom slamming the bedroom door behind her.

Alex gritted her teeth. She loved Piper, but she could really get on her nerves sometimes. "Piper, baby, don't be like that!" She groaned in irritation, hurrying after her girlfriend. Alex leaned against the closed door, willing Piper to just open up. "I'm sorry! Please come out. I love you, okay? I'm sorry for what I said. What's it gonna take for you to forgive me?" She paused. "C'mon, I just wanted to be sexy with my baby."

[louisianaxgypsy-deactivated2019]

Will you marry me?

Send me “Will you marry me?” and I’ll generate a number from 1-30 to see how my muse responds.

“I’m supposed to be the one to ask that question, not you!”

[alex-freaking-vause]

Alex laughed, a bemused expression on her face. "Well, I got to it first!"

[mybodywakesup]

[alex-freaking-vause]

Another Meme I Won’t Finish: [5/15] Relationships » Piper & Alex ↳ “Why do you always feel so inevitable to me?”

[deluminator]

i try not to sound like an asshole but it’s really hard because i am an asshole

[alex-freaking-vause]

Character Development

1: What's a movie your character enjoys?

2: What's a movie your character really, really doesn't enjoy?

3: Does your character prefer warm colors or cool colors?

4: Which season of the year does your character identify with?

5: Your character is partial to people who _____? (Are tall, have blue eyes, tend to be rowdy, etc)

6: Favorite snack?

7: Does your character ever over-indulge? Or habitually do something "wrong?" (Sneaking by the booth to get a second sample of food, maybe)

8: Describe their sexuality.

9: Name something they have to do every so often that they really dread (covering for their friend, doing dishes, etc)

10: What's your character really, REALLY proud of?

11: Your character will absolutely flip their lid if __________ happens.

12: Is there a person or group of people your character envies? What do they have that your character desires so badly?

13: Your character does ____ or avoids ____ because they associate it with having a good/bad day.

14: Favorite musical instrument/an instrument they'd like to play/a song they would enjoy.

15: Are there any childhood habits your character never outgrew?

16: What sort of scents might trigger some flashbacks for your character?

17: Your character finds it weird when people __________

18: People find it weird when your character __________

19: Is your character afraid of death?

20: Is your character afraid of life?

21: It's a rainy day. Like, pouring. Buckets of rain everywhere. Your character, on a day like this, is probably doing what?

22: Is your character touchy-feely with everyone? Or is personal space a huge deal?

23: How does your character react when someone else is touchy-feely?

24: Roses mean "I'm sorry." Your character is more likely to keep some other kind of plant in the house, if ever. What plant? Maybe fake plants?

25: When put into X situation, your character is calm and collected and patient, while others may be anywhere from confused to panicking and screaming. Talk about X-Situation and why it means what it does to your character.

26: Conversely, when put into Z-Situation, your character faints/screams/freezes with terror/is otherwise unable to respond properly in the situation and should probably not be allowed to lead here. Talk about Z-Situation and what it means to your character.

27: How is their relationship with their biological family? Was there ever a relationship there?

28: THERE ARE 15 ANGRY APES SCREAMING AND BASHING THEIR WAY INTO YOUR CHARACTER'S HOUSE! QUICK IS THERE SOMETHING OR SOMEONE THEY WILL TRY TO GET OUT OF THERE

29: What animals is your character fond of?

30: Your character at 6 years old still believed in Santa, what a loser. What did this nerd write in their letter to Santa that year?

31: The smell or sight or even THOUGHT of ________ will make your character's mouth water.

32: Your character was/is good in their ______ class(es) in school.

33: Does your character have an opinion on even or odd numbers?

34: Your character would not exactly mourn anyone's losses if a piano suddenly dropped on _________.

36: Would you rather _________ or ________ (asker's choice)

37: Your character starts losing their shit, like, they can't breathe they are laughing so hard. What's so funny?

38: Your character's general opinion on kids. What if they were to have a kid? What if something happened and someone had a kid and your character was the only one who could take care of that child?

39: Your character's preferred climate

40: Your character's preferred environment (a student library with a white noise of pages flipping and keyboards clacking? noisy household? absolute silence in a cramped room because they hoard stuff?)

41: Your character would trust _________ with their life, their body, their everything.

42: Your character would not trust ________ with anything at all

43: Your character would ________ for unlimited cash

44: Your character would never in a million years ______ even for all the money in the world

45: Your character would _______ for a klondike bar.

46: Describe your character's overall look and whether they're aesthetically pleasing or not.

47: __________ is playing on the radio right now. It isn't your character's favorite song but hot diggity dog crank up that volume and let your character sing at the top of their lungs like a belting second grader with no vocal control whatsoever

48: Your character does ____________ ironically.

49: Your character did ___________ ironically but now they do it out of habit and they can't stop.

50: Some people take all the paperclips out of the box and chain them together. Name something useless your character does but never bothered to stop.