Suck It and See

Well , my name is Alex Norgaard, I'm 22 years old and it seems like I'm going to be stuck here for a long fucking time.

[blondeanddoeeyed-deactivated201]

Oh uhm… Just stuff.

[alex-norgaard]

Not in the sharing mood. Alright, I get it.

[zomb3boy]

Eh, don’t worry about it, we’re all fucked up and pessimistic. 

That’s lucky then, you’re lucky to be alive. Well depending how you think about it. Battle wounds? Sweet. I love little scars and burns and marks, they all tell a story yknow, it’s very interesting. Thank you! I actually was going to apply for a job as a tattoo apprentice before my parent’s shipped me to this hell but it can wait I guess. Ah I feel you, usually I get the most ideas when I’m either sleep deprived or upset. When I’m happy all my drawings end up looking like shit for some reason, it’s very odd.  

[alex-norgaard]

I wonder who isn't nowadays?

Lucky? I'm not sure of that.I'm gonna spend an eternity here. Well I do have many , most of them caused from falling from the skateboard *laughs* But yes I find them interesting too and I can't understand why some people hide their scars and find them embarrassing. Really? That must be your dream job. You will get to it , someday, hopefully soon. Yeah it is odd. I suppose you just put a lot more effort and thought when you're not happy. I can't even explain myself , I just think rarely someone creates something valualbe if he hasn't been through something shitty.

[blondeanddoeeyed-deactivated201]

Maybe. I think they want me here more because of something that happened while I was out of the asylum rather than me getting out sooner.

[alex-norgaard]

What has happened while you were out?

[alex-norgaard]

It feels weird to be back

[cassiewardhfth]

Cassie….. I’m a patient here… i guess…. You?

[alex-norgaard]

You guess? I'm Alex and I think it's pretty obvious I'm a patient too. What are you here for?

[blondeanddoeeyed-deactivated201]

It’s not as bad as it was.

[alex-norgaard]

Well with some luck , you would be able to get out of here soon then.

[alex-norgaard]

It feels weird to be back

[cassiewardhfth]

[sighs] Fine, I understand, I get in moods all the time… 

[alex-norgaard]

Who are you anyway?

[zomb3boy]

Well aren’t we just optimistic today?

What do you see when you close your eyes? I see the same thing replaying and replaying over and over like a movie reel. It’s kinda crazy how the subconscious brain works. Did you know any of the people that died? Yeah I can draw, I designed all of my tattoos. By muse do you mean high by any chance?

[alex-norgaard]

What can I say, I've been like this all of my life.

Reminders of not pleasant parts of my past, the ones that made me messed up in the first place and ..certain people I don't ever want to get reminded of. What's the thing that's replaying over and over again? Well they weren't close to me, but I knew most of them. I was close to dying then too, but somehow I managed to get away with few burns. Woah that's real art here. I love it. *laughs* That's one of the things. I just need something to get inspired by you know? Sometimes I have so many ideas and other times my mind is like completely blank and I can't concentrate.

[blondeanddoeeyed-deactivated201]

Yes.

[alex-norgaard]

Well shit.

[blondeanddoeeyed-deactivated201]

Yeah I suppose so. 

[alex-norgaard]

But you still have the urge to steal stuff?

[zomb3boy]

Everything good has to end though,right?

Crazy people don’t like sleep, most of us get nightmares. Hey denial is the most easiest way of coping right? That’s the expression right? Either that or the first stage to coping. You found anything cool here yet? All I do anymore is draw.

[alex-norgaard]

I wish I could answer with no to this , but I guess that's how life is.

I'm jealous of people who can sleep, without seeing the stuff I see when they close their eyes. Well you can not always live in denial, a lot of people need reality check. Erm, not really. I arrived like three days ago. This place is full with shitty memories, a lot of people died in here. So I haven't really walked around. You can draw? My girlfriend used to draw a lot. I write lyrics from time to time or at least try to when I have the muse.

[blondeanddoeeyed-deactivated201]

Kleptomania and a big sleeping problem.

[alex-norgaard]

Ah right. So have you gotten better through the time spent in here?

[zomb3boy]

Drugs,sex, and rock & roll kind of life? I had a kinda party phase too. I never really did much drugs though. I was more of a drink your problems away dude.

They make everyone sleepy, but I’d rather be sleepy than feel like my usual self. I hope I don’t seem like that guy, if I did that’d be pretty bad. Eh, everyones pretty messed up, why else would we be here?

[alex-norgaard]

Yeah it was pretty damn good.It makes me sad it had to end. I've done and went everywhere just to stay away from home mostly. I started with drinking but decided it wasn't enough.

I-I don't like to sleep much. I'm always trying to avoid that part of the day. I would rather keep myself busy with other stuff. Well yeah , you wouldn't really attract people in the positive way *laughs* I'm saying it 'cause there're some people who don't know why they are here and think they're sane.

[zomb3boy]

See! I was right. What did you play? I always wanted to be in a band but I suck at playing. 

I don’t know, I mean the medication they’ve been giving me seems to be helping so they must’ve gotten a good diagnosis. It sucks they labeled me with necrophilia though, everyone thinks  I have sex with corpses or some shit. Do you believe yours?

[alex-norgaard]

Life's too fucked up to even be sober. I was the lead vocals and lead guitar. Man it was the best time of my shitty life. Gigs, girls, drugs, music. All of it at once.

The medications they give me make me sleepy as hell, so I often don't actually take them. Well that's indeed fucked up. You don't really seem like the type of guy who would though. Well yeah I think the three of them are perfectly adequate. I'm one messed up person for what I know.

[zomb3boy]

If I die in here without a cigarette, I swear I’m going to haunt the fuck out of everyone.

Hey don’t feel bad about that, most people have the best ideas when they’re high. Well they wrote down  Paranoid Personality Disorder,Necrophilia and Intermittent Explosive Disorder on my file so. What about you man?

[alex-norgaard]

So damn right. *laughs* I refuse to die without being wasted.

  That's quite true actually. I've had these fucking briliiant ideas when I've been high or on something else. That way I even started a band.Too bad things didn't work out as I wanted them to.  Shit, do you believe you have them? On mine is wriiten Posttraumatic Stress Disorder , Attention Deficit Disorder and Substance Abuse.

[zomb3boy]

I wish I could have been there then, I’m literally dying without my cigarettes, since they won’t let me get anymore. 

[He laughs] Thank you, finally someone with sense. That’s actually pretty cool, always start with little stuff then work your way up if you want. That’s the best way to get tattoos. It’s nice to meet you too, Alex. 

[alex-norgaard]

Tell me about it. For a guy like me who has basically spent his life smoking. Sometimes you could get your hands on some, but I'm not sure about this place. Still new.

I was mostly high when've done them all *laughs* but yeah, someday if I ever get out of here, I would make some new ones. Why are you here anyway?

[zomb3boy]

I guess you’re gonna have to wait a while on that, I heard the keep this place locked down like a fucking jail. It’s ridiculous. 

I get compliments as much as I get hate on them, so thank you man. Do you have any tattoos? I’m Vittorio,by the way.

[alex-norgaard]

It wasn't though. Before it burnt down to the ground. Nobody really gave a shit , the staff was as fucked up as the patients. But I guess it's different now.

Well it's your fucking body, you can do whatever you want with it. *shows him* Yeah I have weed demon written on my wrist , Wavves written on my shoulder with a small alien under it. And two others , also music related ones. Nothing serious. Pleased to meet you , I'm Alex.

[blondeanddoeeyed-deactivated201]

Oh. That’s fair.

[alex-norgaard]

Why were you here though? I can't remember.