@alicksonhellren
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@alexa-n-jack
@alicksonhellren
#Butterflies.
Alick: The waiting game had begun the second my females needing had subsided. The look in my female's eyes every day as I asked her if she had any pain or excessive bleeding was almost as if I was asking for a dream, something that would never happen and after the third day I had given up asking altogether. I knew I was maybe by some miracle hoping that this time the ninth time of trying that we would indeed have Young, maybe I wasn't meant for a miracle, just as my father had told me the third time we had failed to produce a young. I still had hope that we would have a young who looked like Alexa and was strong like her as well. The dream had not stopped since Alexa had stopped her needing it had only gotten worse so bad that a few times I had left Alexa sleeping. She needed her rest if she was with child she needed to rest up especially if there was a young inside of her. I knew that she would be scared to death if it was true if my dreams pointed to what it could be. She was indeed with young. I tried not to think about the what-ifs anymore. I needed to keep myself strong for her. I knew that my female would need to have my strength whatever the outcome. I know she suspected that she was barren and could not carry young if not made worse after the horror she went through while we were separated. I would not show my eagerness to know I would be the pillar of strength for my shellan. Because that is what hellren’s do they take the burden of their female and they keep it inside them. They can find someone else to unload on but my female would not know my anxiety, would not know my hopes. Not until she brought it up. I would keep patient until my shellan needed me, whether it was in jubilation or consolation that again we were unsuccessful. I would be the patient hellren as my shellan needed me to be. @Alexa_BDBRW.
Alexa:
*A week later….*
I bit my lip again, fighting the fresh spurts of anger and tears. And I knew, deep down, that they stemmed not only from the horror of the situation but from the fact that I couldn’t have children. Would never feel grow within my belly. My injuries ones in that area and left me barren- not just barren but with a womb that would not support life. Of course, that was told them years ago after my attack. I took the cap off the end of the pregnancy test stick and took the test and replaced the cap back on the end. I washed my hands and then grabbed the stick and the box that it came in, and walked out of the bathroom. As I looked down at the box and re-read the instructions again...I sat down on my bed and looked at the side of the box, it said 1 minutes. “1 minutes,” I said and cursed under my breath, not wanting to look at the test.
I snapped out of my trance like state when Alick’s arms wrapped around me, but because I had my back to him I couldn’t see whether he was awake or not. I turned and his eyes were wide open. “I’ve taken the test... I’m afraid to look at the small stupid screen display” I said, not wanting to look at the test. @Alickson_BDBRW
Alick: Stirring in my sleep I felt my females mood shift in her sleep. She had been like this for a week now, so much so that she has barely spoken to me in the week. I knew she would when she was ready. As I heard her move her back facing me as she moved I was awake already my eyes looked at her with a smile. My eyes suddenly were full of attention as she said she had taken the test. This is why she had not said a word. “We will deal Alexa, anything that it says, either way, we will deal with it Nalla, I promise you” I took her hand. My face was impassive even though my insides were churning but she didn't need to know that. She just needed me to be with her. She needed me to make sure that she was supported. Whatever the result I would be next to her as she looked because it was her body that would need for this to happen. So I knew it was her call when she turned it over. “I am right here Nalla. Do you want to look or do you want me to look?”
Squeezing her gently into my arms. She needed me more than I needed someone at the moment. This could be our final chance to have young. Kissing her softly I smiled. “I have you Nalla, I am not going anywhere” my eyes roaming around her, “Always yours, my shellan” @Alexa_BDBRW
Alexa: Time seemed to take forever to go by, I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, I am so scared. More silent tears started running down my face, as I held my full attention on Alick and silently listened to the words he spoke with a soothing tone, but I could tell he was barely containing his own emotions. Still crying, I replied. “Okay. We look together?”
My eyes followed Alick’s every movement as he pulled me into a tight hug, gently squeezed. Teardrops landed on our mating rings, I leaned into his chest with the test still in my other hand. Who would have thought a tiny stick waiting for blue lines to determine our future would bring me down to tears and scare the life of me. This could be our final chance to have young, I could give Alick the miracle he always wanted. Alick started rubbing my back up and down and kissed me softly and said “Always yours my shellan”. Just then a little blue plus sign appeared, a wave of disbelief came over me; I looked at Alick and said “Little feet?” @Alickson_BDBRW
Alick: I kept her in my arms for as long as she needed her tears almost racking her body against me, I soothed her the best I could with my own emotions in check. I was sure the way she spoke that it was bad news until it registered that she said Little Feet something we had joked for years we would nickname our young as we didn't want to know the sex of the young as long as it was healthy that is all that mattered to us. I swallowed hoping that I wasn't imagining what she just said. “Pardon.. did you just say what I think you did? Are we?” I couldn't even bring myself to say the word with young or pregnant in fear it was a dream and I was not going to be a father at all. I held Alexa close to me knowing that her brain was probably going at the same rate as mine at the moment. I sat waiting for her reply although I was not sure I was going to get it. @Alexa_BDBRW
Alexa: I snapped out of my trance-like state, and said “Yeah...Little Feet. So many things will have to change if the positive result is true.” I leaned down and curled up resting my head on Alick’s lap knowing that millions of thoughts would be racing in his mind probably going at the rate as mine at the moment. Now I knew what I needed to do was make an appointment.
#Butterflies #BDBRW
#AlexaNeedingpart2 #Bdbrw
Alexa:
“Holy shit,” I said with a groan.
“This can’t be happening,” I groaned again.
Holy hell….His head dropping down, his erotic purring so loud it made the glass bowl of water on the beside table tinkle. I could feel his trembling hands slowly undressing me, my blouse clung to my clammy skin.
Another assault hit, and Alick collapsed back against the bed, his hips surging involuntarily. I heard the groans and realized we were in deep shit.
Oh, fuck! Would Alick drug me ? or serve me, after all this time? He hasn’t touched me in weeks.
My male couldn’t help but respond to his sexual urges and that would increase my needing progressed and strengthened.
Writhing on top of the mattress, tangled in my clothes, ripping the rest of them off. When I saw him with the drugs tightly gripped in his hand I cried out, but then settled down, as I willed myself calm.
“I’m okay.” rolling onto my side facing away from Alick.“I’m….really….It’s going to be…..”
Another shock wave came out of me, so strong it pushed Alick off the bed, down to his knees as I jackknifed and curled up bringing my legs tight to my chest into a ball.
“Alickson,”I groaned.
“Drug…..me?...Urghhh…. FUCK….me..” I groaned as another shock wave of heat rippled through the air. We both groaned our bodies whacking out, straining, wanting the need for this pain to ease.
“DRUGSSSSSSSSSS!”
“NOOOOO….S….SERVICE ME!”
I said through gritted teeth, another assault hit. @Alickson_BDBRW
Alick:
[The pain was becoming unbearable I knew what I should do we had only just gotten back together, we had so much that we needed to work through but at this moment I could only think about easing my female. Maybe it was time for us to have a miracle, we had a few in our lives but maybe it was time for one that included a young. I knew I was leaving it in her hands but as she writhed in pain and her clothes clung to her. I was only a male. Down on my knees I heard her utter the words that she wanted me to fuck her and that was all the invitation I needed. Kissing her lips to try and help her slightly. She could possibly kill me for being the selfish bastard later but the only way I knew how to calm this sensation was to service her. I began to work on the clothes ripping them to shreds. Again something she can kick my ass for later. Running my hand up her leg I prized her legs open which already were beginning to open for me. I was now a male possessed my body needed inside her, just as much as her body was begging me to. Sliding into her in one swift movement this wasn't time for foreplay, this was going to be a long eighteen hours but one I was more than willing to be up for the challenge. Hearing the bed creak as I moved my hips against her hard my mouth began to explore her body again the coldness of my hands planted against the dampness of her hair. The wave of pain was dimming with the moans of pleasure as her body began to react to me the way it always did. My hips having a mind of their own as she began to milk me for every last drop. I knew she would need to feed as well, but now I needed to fill her with my seed, it would soon be over until the next round which again was always the way. As I gripped the headboard of our bed so I could get her at a better angle I felt the wood begin to splinter in my hands, nothing said you were a male than the power you held by servicing your female. As I roared as I began to release inside her, such a powerful source of release that I did not think it would stop my hips still moving as I heard the bed fall about three inches on to the floor, shit that meant I needed to buy another new one, as I saw my female's eyes roll back with the power of her own release being rode out. I inched my neck closer to her mouth] feed, I am yours to use how you want me. @Alexa_BDBRW
Alexa :
His hand splayed across the flat of my stomach. Heat pooled under his fingertips, flared across my flesh like a flash fire. Oh scribe, his touch was soothing on my wildfire skin. I squirmed against him, wariness momentarily forgotten as every inch of me vibrated with hunger for my Hellren now flowing through my veins. Hunger. As if sensings the fall of reluctance, no time for tender caresses of kisses, or teasing me until every inch of me was trembling for him. We were past that and Alick knew as well as I did the next eighteen hours would be long and exhausting for us both. I groaned in relief, his fingers played around my thighs, all I wanted was to feel his touch. After a few more torturous moments, I was moaning from equal measures of pleasure and the rush frustration from the grip of his hands on my hips, seemed like they had lingered one minute too long, I shuddered, writhed, until it felt as if i was going to tear apart for the sheer force of pleasure. And then he was in me, claiming what was his in one swift moment and in the most basic way possible. I moaned loud arching my back screaming my Hellren’s name. I groaned as he gripped my hips, throbbing with need, his hips thrusted hard, fast, faster and deep inside with the same need that knock me flat on my back and complete me. I gasped, pushing my palms against the bedhead, began to move, not gently, but fiercely, urgently and I was right there with him, wanting everything he could give me. Then everything broke, and I was unraveling, groaning with intensity of orgasm after orgasm. Alickson’s powerful release after release floored me , but it wasn’t just his juices that had my body falling with the rush of our releases. The bed hit the floor with such force, I began laughing and kissed my Hellren’s lips hard, passionately. “Thank you…” Was all I could say as I looked into my Hellren’s mocha brown eyes with love in my own eyes. @Alickson_BDBRW
Alickson: I was exhausted that was all I can say to describe how I felt I may have been exhausted but scribe I was sated. I had brought my shellan to heights of ecstasy more times than I cared to count. I had her in every way. Looking down at her sleeping form the sheets were speckled with blood where she had fed from me. I whispered a silent prayer to the scribe virgin that this time I had been able to get her with young. I wasn't sure if I could wait another ten years to see if I could get her pregnant. Kissing the top of her forehead as I surveyed the damage of the room. The bed was broken but I think that went some time in the beginning of the needing. The sofa chair was broken and has flown across the room. Shit when did that happen. I continued to move across the room I got to the bathroom and what I saw my body covered in bruises and bite marks. I counted at least twenty puncture marks where she had fed from me. I should have been annoyed but I wasn't if it meant that we would have our miracle then I would have had my skin cut off it that was what I could do. Moving into the kitchen I began to cook, some food for my shellan I knew once she woke she would want feeding and I was willing to feed her by thine hand if that is what she wanted I was willing to bow at her feet if that is what she needed me to do. As I walked in with the tray of food I heard the gasp from my female as she saw me. “Oh my hellren, I am sorry” she looked at me with such pain in her eyes.
“my shellan it's okay. I will heal, I always do now you should eat my shellan” I smiled wide to her. Kissing her softly. “Eat my love”
Scars
How old was I when the boss caught me kissing a male? Was I just transitioned I think I was. It was a secret rendezvous I thought the boss had been away for the weekend leaving Alexa, myself and Tina here for the evening. Tina had many men passing through the brothel and sometimes they had different tastes. As I sat in the library, books lined every wall, although Alexa and I were the only ones who read in this household. I heard the wood shift and he moved in looking at me. “You have grown lad since I last saw you” I chuckled how could I not. I had been through an agonising transition every bone in my body had broken grown and I had put on about three hundred pounds. “That's what happens when puberty hits” I smiled beckoning him towards me. His cravat was loosened slightly as he moved towards me, his lips claimed mine with such tenderness that I did not realise that I male could kiss this well. “You know Aegis, I have wanted to do that for as long as I have known you” he panted as he pulled his lips away from me. There was some tension always between us but I assumed that it was just me thinking about things I should not want. People often looked away from me because of my position to the boss, him seeing me as his son. “You have?” Was all I could say. “Yes I have” he moved again claiming my lips pulling at the bottom. I thought I had been killed by the scribe but this was something I wanted, I needed this I needed him.Even the female I had when I had transitioned had not gotten this reaction to me and this man was just kissing me, I wanted more I needed more. But it wasn't meant to be all of a sudden I was being pulled by the scruff of my collar by the boss.As I watched the male I had been kissing now lying dead on the floor, how could I have been so stupid. I didn't know that he was back. My heart began to beat faster. As I could feel him lead me down to his basement. I wanted to rip his head off, he has killed a male because he had kissed me. “You filthy male. I will have my men remind you of how you are not to kiss males” he walked out as his three henchmen circled me. “Dirty male, we should cut your balls off but we won't. But we are going to mark you however we are going to make sure every time you think about your ways and feel as if you want to kiss a man you will feel pain” a hot knife went across my thigh. I screamed my mouth falling opens I would not allow them to know I was hurt. It should have healed but then I realised they had doused it with salt. This scar was going to be with me forever. After the event I went up to my room. I would not allow them to see me cry a soft knock on the door came and I knew it was Alegra. “Aegis, are you alright?” She asked as she looked at my wound, “what happened?” I couldn't tell her what had happened I knew that she would think that I deserved it just like they did. Her brother was meant to carry on the line not diminish it. “I fell and then got some salt in it” I swallowed down the bile down in my throat that threatened to come up, I couldn't let her think that the boss had done this. I would have my revenge on him eventually I just had to bide my time. “You expect me to believe that Aegis?” She cupped my cheek looking at me as if I was a delicate child, “You don't have to lie to me” I did I knew I did, “let's just say I got on the wrong side of dear papa” I curled my head into my lap as she began to stroke my hair. “I will kill him” she said. “You won't not yet” I replied, “but someone will one day” #bdbrw #endsolo
I bet they have great sex………..
@alicksonhellren
*Buys new pillow cases* Hey, Nallum...got new pillow cases, you like? @alicksonhellren
Marriage Goals
*Laughs* that's something we would do, Nallum? @alicksonhellren
@alicksonhellren Always and forever, Nallum
Time to step out of the shadows
I had have men, I have had women but none have drove me to distraction like the young man who I had met at sunshine over a week ago. I fell asleep he would be on my mind, I awake with a massive hard on and there he will be coaxing me into a relief that I did not think was possible. Was this what it was like when you met the one? The one who you were meant to be mated with? The planets align and then all there is he and you alone in the path. Maybe I had read the situation wrong the other night. He has just felt sorry for me, not that I needed protecting in anyway. But it made me feel wanted. Needed loved. This male was a distraction and probably at a time when I didn't have time for it. Not with news circulating that the boss may be back- another thing I was going to have to say to my sister soon, but not yet. She was having time with her hellren something she deserved. Something you deserve too Jackie. A voice rang in my head. The figure of the female whom I thought I would be mated with but that wasn't what anyone had planned and I later learned I would never have been happy. I would be hiding who I was, who I am. I was Gay. Something that I had never openly admitted to anyone but it was not a female’s body that got me hard. It was a males. The plane of the abs that ripple under the delicate of touches. The power as he submitted to your touch. The feel of a cock against mine I was getting hard thinking of it. But then I could see his face, I was sure the noises he would make, but that voice returned as I felt the doubt raise in my head. It was still not accepted fully for a male to be with a male, there were still people who believed that a male should be mated to a female to continue the race, and a man could not carry a young. Jackie, we never would have worked, and you need to stop blaming yourself for that and my death. You would have been a great gay best friend if I was still alive. That male is the one who is going to make you the man you need. Your sister will still love you. It is not like when I was with you when the glymera would punish any family that had someone who was gay. I know why you felt obligated to say you would be mated to me. For your sister, for her mating, that family would never have accepted her with a gay brother, but Alickson is not like that do not paint the son with the sins of the father. He is not his father in more ways than one. You need to become selfish now Jackie, you need to know that she is going to be okay. This is now about you. Be selfish for once and embrace that male, he is the one for you. Let those planets finally become aligned for him and you. You have been waiting for him. Text him he gave you his number that is the sign you needed. Text him ask to meet him. You need to take that leap. Do it Jack. I paced. I couldn't do this could I? Be the selfish man. I remember the time that someone decided to say to the boss that they thought I was cohorting with men. Being sat down in the massive leather chair and the stern look of the boss looming over the Post- trans me. I had been spotted by one of his lackeys that I was sure. I had kissed one of the males at the brothel, I could have blamed the post- transition hormones but that would not be the real reason. Women just did not get me hard. A male did. He glared at me as he began to speak I knew I was in trouble . “You cannot be seen with a man, do you understand. One day this will be all yours and I cannot have a poofter in the family business. You my boy are the one to create the legacy of this family, you cannot let me down” I had known from that moment I was always going to have to put myself last for the family, for my sister, for my life. I had no doubt that if the boss knew I was openly parading my sexuality he would have a bullet through my heart and have a human to leave me to the sun. That I was sure. Maybe that is why it had always been conducted into the shadows but surely now it was time to step into the light. No more hiding who I was, I would never be happy if I kept thinking about everyone else and not myself. Surely it was time for me now. I didn't have to worry about my sister. She was happy. She did not need me to be unhappy. She needed happiness around her. Not for the boss I was able to be the type of male I wanted and I had my eyes on a male and for the first time in my life I was going to take him. Pulling my phone out of my pocket I texted the male. ‘Fancy getting a drink tonight?’ Pushing send before I could overthink it. He could only say no right?
Time to step out of the shadows
I had have men, I have had women but none have drove me to distraction like the young man who I had met at sunshine over a week ago. I fell asleep he would be on my mind, I awake with a massive hard on and there he will be coaxing me into a relief that I did not think was possible. Was this what it was like when you met the one? The one who you were meant to be mated with? The planets align and then all there is he and you alone in the path. Maybe I had read the situation wrong the other night. He has just felt sorry for me, not that I needed protecting in anyway. But it made me feel wanted. Needed loved. This male was a distraction and probably at a time when I didn't have time for it. Not with news circulating that the boss may be back- another thing I was going to have to say to my sister soon, but not yet. She was having time with her hellren something she deserved. Something you deserve too Jackie. A voice rang in my head. The figure of the female whom I thought I would be mated with but that wasn't what anyone had planned and I later learned I would never have been happy. I would be hiding who I was, who I am. I was Gay. Something that I had never openly admitted to anyone but it was not a female’s body that got me hard. It was a males. The plane of the abs that ripple under the delicate of touches. The power as he submitted to your touch. The feel of a cock against mine I was getting hard thinking of it. But then I could see his face, I was sure the noises he would make, but that voice returned as I felt the doubt raise in my head. It was still not accepted fully for a male to be with a male, there were still people who believed that a male should be mated to a female to continue the race, and a man could not carry a young. Jackie, we never would have worked, and you need to stop blaming yourself for that and my death. You would have been a great gay best friend if I was still alive. That male is the one who is going to make you the man you need. Your sister will still love you. It is not like when I was with you when the glymera would punish any family that had someone who was gay. I know why you felt obligated to say you would be mated to me. For your sister, for her mating, that family would never have accepted her with a gay brother, but Alickson is not like that do not paint the son with the sins of the father. He is not his father in more ways than one. You need to become selfish now Jackie, you need to know that she is going to be okay. This is now about you. Be selfish for once and embrace that male, he is the one for you. Let those planets finally become aligned for him and you. You have been waiting for him. Text him he gave you his number that is the sign you needed. Text him ask to meet him. You need to take that leap. Do it Jack. I paced. I couldn't do this could I? Be the selfish man. I remember the time that someone decided to say to the boss that they thought I was cohorting with men. Being sat down in the massive leather chair and the stern look of the boss looming over the Post- trans me. I had been spotted by one of his lackeys that I was sure. I had kissed one of the males at the brothel, I could have blamed the post- transition hormones but that would not be the real reason. Women just did not get me hard. A male did. He glared at me as he began to speak I knew I was in trouble . “You cannot be seen with a man, do you understand. One day this will be all yours and I cannot have a poofter in the family business. You my boy are the one to create the legacy of this family, you cannot let me down” I had known from that moment I was always going to have to put myself last for the family, for my sister, for my life. I had no doubt that if the boss knew I was openly parading my sexuality he would have a bullet through my heart and have a human to leave me to the sun. That I was sure. Maybe that is why it had always been conducted into the shadows but surely now it was time to step into the light. No more hiding who I was, I would never be happy if I kept thinking about everyone else and not myself. Surely it was time for me now. I didn't have to worry about my sister. She was happy. She did not need me to be unhappy. She needed happiness around her. Not for the boss I was able to be the type of male I wanted and I had my eyes on a male and for the first time in my life I was going to take him. Pulling my phone out of my pocket I texted the male. ‘Fancy getting a drink tonight?’ Pushing send before I could overthink it. He could only say no right?
Time to step out of the shadows
I had have men, I have had women but none have drove me to distraction like the young man who I had met at sunshine over a week ago. I fell asleep he would be on my mind, I awake with a massive hard on and there he will be coaxing me into a relief that I did not think was possible. Was this what it was like when you met the one? The one who you were meant to be mated with? The planets align and then all there is he and you alone in the path. Maybe I had read the situation wrong the other night. He has just felt sorry for me, not that I needed protecting in anyway. But it made me feel wanted. Needed loved. This male was a distraction and probably at a time when I didn't have time for it. Not with news circulating that the boss may be back- another thing I was going to have to say to my sister soon, but not yet. She was having time with her hellren something she deserved. Something you deserve too Jackie. A voice rang in my head. The figure of the female whom I thought I would be mated with but that wasn't what anyone had planned and I later learned I would never have been happy. I would be hiding who I was, who I am. I was Gay. Something that I had never openly admitted to anyone but it was not a female’s body that got me hard. It was a males. The plane of the abs that ripple under the delicate of touches. The power as he submitted to your touch. The feel of a cock against mine I was getting hard thinking of it. But then I could see his face, I was sure the noises he would make, but that voice returned as I felt the doubt raise in my head. It was still not accepted fully for a male to be with a male, there were still people who believed that a male should be mated to a female to continue the race, and a man could not carry a young. Jackie, we never would have worked, and you need to stop blaming yourself for that and my death. You would have been a great gay best friend if I was still alive. That male is the one who is going to make you the man you need. Your sister will still love you. It is not like when I was with you when the glymera would punish any family that had someone who was gay. I know why you felt obligated to say you would be mated to me. For your sister, for her mating, that family would never have accepted her with a gay brother, but Alickson is not like that do not paint the son with the sins of the father. He is not his father in more ways than one. You need to become selfish now Jackie, you need to know that she is going to be okay. This is now about you. Be selfish for once and embrace that male, he is the one for you. Let those planets finally become aligned for him and you. You have been waiting for him. Text him he gave you his number that is the sign you needed. Text him ask to meet him. You need to take that leap. Do it Jack. I paced. I couldn't do this could I? Be the selfish man. I remember the time that someone decided to say to the boss that they thought I was cohorting with men. Being sat down in the massive leather chair and the stern look of the boss looming over the Post- trans me. I had been spotted by one of his lackeys that I was sure. I had kissed one of the males at the brothel, I could have blamed the post- transition hormones but that would not be the real reason. Women just did not get me hard. A male did. He glared at me as he began to speak I knew I was in trouble . “You cannot be seen with a man, do you understand. One day this will be all yours and I cannot have a poofter in the family business. You my boy are the one to create the legacy of this family, you cannot let me down” I had known from that moment I was always going to have to put myself last for the family, for my sister, for my life. I had no doubt that if the boss knew I was openly parading my sexuality he would have a bullet through my heart and have a human to leave me to the sun. That I was sure. Maybe that is why it had always been conducted into the shadows but surely now it was time to step into the light. No more hiding who I was, I would never be happy if I kept thinking about everyone else and not myself. Surely it was time for me now. I didn't have to worry about my sister. She was happy. She did not need me to be unhappy. She needed happiness around her. Not for the boss I was able to be the type of male I wanted and I had my eyes on a male and for the first time in my life I was going to take him. Pulling my phone out of my pocket I texted the male. ‘Fancy getting a drink tonight?’ Pushing send before I could overthink it. He could only say no right?
more text messages here
@alicksonhellren
Morning my love.. @alicksonhellren First meal?
Alexa' Needing Pt1
Alickson: [Alexa had been back in my love for about two months now and I knew something had changed within her she was getting close to her needing, her mood has changed, the taste of her blood had changed. Her body was readying itself for young. Maybe after the eighth time we had been through this together maybe this time we would be lucky. My heart sank slightly what if it couldn't? Maybe there was something wrong with me and that was why I could not Sire young? Maybe my father was right I was the disappointment in the family and would never carry on my father's name. These thoughts had been plaguing me since I had noticed the change in Alexa, every time I came close to mentioning it she would freeze up on my telling me that she didn't need to see the doctor, it wasn't until a week ago I found out why she couldn't see the doctor the horror that she had been through while we had been separated. Did it make me a heartless bastard if I put her through her needing this time? I could go and drug her and we could try and work out all the secrets that we had both been keeping from each other about the five years apart. I was all ready to go and get some drugs when the dream hit. I saw Alexa standing at our new house the one I had started building just before we were ripped away from each other I was laying on the bed watching her look out at the full moon which had hit the water, I spoke something I can't remember what and as she turned round she was round with child. I didn't think I could love her any more than I already did but in that moment but I fell in love more deeply. I have to hold onto that moment that she will be with my child and maybe it will be this time. But I saw the way she reacted every time I mentioned the word needing I did not know she was going to let me near her if it happened anytime soon. My father's voice rang in my head, “When you are a man son you will have produced a young and that is when you will know you have made it” the words rung in my ears as I looked towards my shellan, soon she would be going through her first needing since she had returned to me. I had hoped that if the scribe was willing we would have a young. If I was honest the way that Alexa would look I could imagine her with the swell of a young inside her, with a beautiful girl young and a male young, I could never understand why I felt like this when it came to seeing young but I knew that one day I would have a young. It was something that kept me believing all these years now] @Alexa_BDBRW Alexa: * All I wanted was a quiet moment at the office. That family gathering two days ago had my feels all messed up and I need a distraction and throwing myself into my work was the next best thing than drinking myself into a drunken stupor. Sure, I was the CEO, but I thought of this company as if everyone were part of my family. My eyes flew over the accounting reports on my computer screen Jessica had emailed me. In my mind the, the numbers and graphs came alive and I saw the workings of an exceptional profitable year play like a movie, with ideas of winter solstice; Christmas or a New Year's bonus my employees would receive. I was lost in it when I suddenly got a feeling of being watched. A shiver ran down my spine and tiny hairs on my arms stood on end, slowly raising my head, looked over my screen, The ‘I’ve Forgotten More About Sex Than You’ll Ever Know’ bumper sticker across the front of a walker was the first cue to who was waiting for me. I’d been so immersed in my own thoughts of Alickson being back in my life, The company and everyone else that matter that I hadn’t heard the door open and the walker roll to a stop in front of my me.* “Tina?,” I said, trying to quell the embarrassment caused by allowing someone sneak up on me, even an old woman as sneaky as her. “Allegra, we need to have a talk.” Tina slid her dentures around menacingly and I cringed, when ever Tina used those words it was never good and I knew I was in trouble for something I knew not about. Before I could respond I listened to the lecture only a Mahem gives a young about love, sacrifice, family and Alickson. Alickson? What had the old bat done this time?* “So, what do you mean you spoke to Alickson, Tina?” I asked, trying not to lose my patience as I swung my chair around, holding the precious bundle in my arm. Tina scooted forward on her walker, clearly surprised Kevin was in my arm sleeping soundly when I heard a male gasps at Tina’s words “Tis the season for miracles, sweetie.” I looked around, stunned. Alick was standing at my office door holding a brown paper bag, Richards logo on the front smelling of food.* @Alickson_BDBRW Alickson: [I had decided that I would surprise my shellan at her work with food she hadn't eaten I knew that I would take her favourites before sitting in her office for her to finish off what work she wanted to do, before taking her home and sharing the evening with her, all thoughts of her needing I would put to one side for now at least. As I walked to her office I knew someone else was in the office, something I was sure was not the person who should be. Stopping as I saw my female with a child in her arms, my gasp rang as I looked how soundly the young looked snuggled into the protective arms of my shellan. And the old woman who I had bumped into at Richards three days earlier. Why she was here I was not sure, but she obviously knew my shellan] I.. I didn't realise that you were in a meeting. I brought some food [beginning to turn on my heels. I did not want to disturb her if she was in a meeting I had done that before which I had been told off for. Looking down at the young still sleeping silently sucking his thumb, I swallowed down the lump in my throat she looked so calm and serene and the thought that she may not get that again. I couldn't describe how upset that made me. But if it wasn't meant to be then it wasn't meant to be] @Alexa_BDBRW Alexa: “No, No, Noooo. Don’t go!” *A second later I had somehow managed to get to Alickson, eyes widening to a point of pleading for him not to run out on me and ponder how Kevin was still soundly asleep in my arms* “Tina, was just leaving and Jessica should be back from wherever she is for Kevin, shortly. Nallum? Here let me…” *I looked over my shoulder giving Tina the “back me up here and go find Jessica look. Which was a waste of time of cause, I knowingly knew Tina was already on it passing us both rolling her walker out the door and winking back at us both.* “Let me take that bag of food, smells delicious.. while you take a seat on the couch, Okay?” *Before he could reply as we both looked deep into each other's wide eyes I had handed Kevin over to him, placed him gently into Alickon's arms and grabbed the food, turned on my heels hoping he would follow me towards the my couch in the corner opposite my desk* @Alickson_BDBRW Alickson: [As the young was placed in my arms I stood dumbfounded for a second, this could be us, this should have been us. Slowly trying to swallow the lump in my throat knowing I could never tell Alexa this but knew if I think of speaking I would not be able to speak but I would break, I pulled the young a little closer to my chest as I heard - read- that it was good for the young to hear a heartbeat and it reminded them of the womb. I knew I shouldn't know this but I had done my reading, I looked up hearing @Alexa_BDBRW move away from me and to the couch obviously wanting me to follow, so gently I kept my movement as to not disturb the wee man so tiny in my arm. I sat on the sofa across the room. I knew that you never awoke a sleeping baby] @Alexa_BDBRW. Alexa: * I knew the moment I placed the young, Kevin in Alickson’s arms things would become awkward, overwhelmingly awkward. As I sat on the sofa watching them both curiously as he pulled the young closer to his heart, my heart skipped a beat, heartbroken I felt after all those needings we both went through I had failed him as his Shellan, unable to carry his young. How could I tell him I had always wished we had a family a little miracle of us both in this crazy world we live in. What’s meant to be will be, Sadly, I was not to be a mahmen. Taking a deep breath and continued to watch them I knew I couldn’t and would keep freezing when Alick mentions my upcoming needing* “Suits you, you know? Kevin...having a young in your arms.” *Offering a warm smile at my Hellern as I removed the food from the paper bag* Mmm..this all smells delicious, Nallum. Jessica should be about any time now for Kevin * I began to eat, not able to taste the meal I was nervously awaiting for his response, I could sense how overwhelmed he was.* @Alickson_BDBRW Alickson: I know you have been eating much so I thought I would bring you some in. [stroking the young’s chubby cheek as the soft snuffling of a young deep in sleep. I could not help but smile when he placed his tiny fist against my woolen jumper] it's okay if she doesn't. [i knew that my shellan was waiting for something more, something I could not give to her at the moment but I would, we had promised that there would be no secrets between us, I could not allow there to be. After what seemed the longest time which I think was only a mere few minutes I cleared my throat] I still dream that you are round with child it's been happening recently a lot more. I know it is a pipe dream and just a way for my body to torment me, but every night I have seen it, I have seen the same thing. You in a white gown standing at the window with the moon bathing in the room. And you with a young inside you. I know it stupid nalla but you wanted to know how I felt. @Alexa_BDBRW Alexa: “I’ve eaten much today from all the training I’ve done.” *Even as I refused, Actually, I was in denial to think that my overacting hormones could be responsible for my extra eating habits I been having, as I sucked the last little bit of this deliciously flavoursome strawberry shake through its straw, after that amazing amalgamation of a full body beef burger, Richards’ was was famous for. I placed the empty cup down on the coffee table in front of the sofa, popped a chocolate into my mouth, suppressed a moan for the divine deliciousness of chocolate. I covered my surprise with a soft smile as I noticed from the corner of my eye my Hellren stroking the young’s chubby cheeks. I went over to my desk and buzzed Jessica, A second later Jessica strolled into the room, wided eyed stopped dead in her tracks as she looked over and saw Kevin in Alick’s arms sound asleep. Flashing a smile to the three of them * Nallum...You want to hand Kevin over to his mummy before I have a HR nightmare on my hands because I….*It was a studle wave of pain at first as I gripped the edge of my desk as I spoke with a calm neutral voice interrupting Jessica’s apologies, taking so long to get Kevin.* It’s fine Jessica *I managed to spit out as Alick handed Kevin over to her* We were just leaving….* I looked at my Hellren with dread in my eyes because if I didn’t get the fuck out of here soon, I would have stopped production due to my Needing…Fuck! Gripping down hard on my desk even managing to break a nail doing so as another wave hit hard to buckle my knees.* @Alickson_BDBRW Alickson: [Something was wrong I knew it the moment that my shellan started to get a bit short, I could tell the wave of her needing was hitting her, the smell causing my nostrils to flare. I needed to get her out of here and now, handing the baby back to its mother I knew that I had to get her home. I was trying to remember if we had ever gotten home in the car if it was safe for her to hold onto me as we left and got to home. I needed to think quickly as if any other male got whiff that my shellan was going to be going through her needing I was going to have to fight them and kill them I was the only one who should be servicing my female and that was what I was going to do. Holding her we dematerialised to our house I could not remember if it was safe for us to do this but at the moment I needed my shellan safe and this was how I was going to do it. Lifting her to our bed as a new wave hit her I couldn't move. I needed to let her make this choice she was either going to allow me to service her or drug her this had to be her decision not mine. Grabbing the drugs and the water to keep her cool, I sat beside her as I began to peel off her clothes which I knew would be making her feel as if she was on fire. I had been through this with her before and although every part of me wanted to be inside her this was her choice. I needed her to make the decision and we would deal with it when she did] Allegra my sweet Allegra do you want the drugs or me? [soothing her pain was all I wanted to do] #AlexaNeeding #endofpart1 #Bdbrw #tobecontinued
#Dancingonmyown (@Aegis_BDBRW)
Sunshine club, just like any other night. Busy and brimming with people, so why did I think that something was going to happen tonight, my two workers had the night off tonight, I had told them to enjoy some time together. Which I did not mind. As I moved around shaking people's hand who some had been my customers for many years. They knew this place was a place where they could be themselves without fear of being judged something I had wanted since I was young a place I could be who I was. Always running away from who I was I had been since I was told who I was, was not what the boss wanted, and he had not even meant me, I still remembered the day he saw two men kissing and all he could say to me was that they were unnatural and needed to be burnt in Dhund because of the depravity they were having. Ever since then I was running from myself and I kept that part of my life hidden. Yes I had enjoyed a few men in my bed but never had it fulfilled me. As I walked across the room I saw him. Someone who I had not seen before in the place although how he was moving across the floor it appeared that he knew how to own a place. My heart thumped against my chest as his eyes connected with mine. Something changed in my mind. He was mine. The little voice was strong. He turned away dancing back to the female he has gyrating against him. I grabbed my drink, swallowing down the liquid. I needed to be closer to him. As I moved myself around the music began to pulse, my hips began to move. I thought that if he saw me he would feel how I did. He pressed his lips to the female's neck. I stopped suddenly. He didn't see me, I must have imagined the connection I thought I felt. He didn't feel anything. He didn't feel anything, you’re wrong. A voice in my head rung. How was I wrong? He was with a female, he obviously did not have a inclination to men. I was just what Boss had said, depraved, disgusting and not wanted. Shock horror. I really was meant to be destined to live a life alone. I could bring myself to be the supportive male, my sister had her hellren. I did not need anyone. My eyes turned away, I locked myself in office for the rest of the night with my trusty bottle of bourbon beside me. I however could not get the male's features out of my head, the voice in my head getting louder, he is meant to be yours. 4 am called soon to close, I knew the bar man would want some help getting rid of the stragglers the ones who never wanted to go home or were trying to see if they can cop off with one of the bar men or see if they can have one more drink. Trying to put my big boss man face on, when I really didn't want to, as I walked out he was still there but this time he was on his own. Why hadn't he left? “Come on ladies and gents time to take a cab home and enjoy the time before the sun comes up” I said. He was watching me intently. Why? A female began to move closer to me. “Mr Bossman, would you like to offer me a nightcap” I really wouldn't. I swallowed hard as I saw the eyes of the male shift as if he heard the woman. Moving closer to us both. “I think the mr boss man asked you to leave” I blinked I did not realise what was happening. Why does he care? He offered me a lopsided smile, “Can I get you a nightcap?” Was all I could say. He nodded his head towards me. “I am Khalid” he smiled. “I’m Jack” I nodded pouring us both a drink, “it's nice to meet you” #Dancingonmyown #bdbrw
Best time of day, relaxing with you Nallum @alicksonhellren
#WhenWeWereYoung #AlexaAndJack
When We Were Young….
Loud. It was always loud in the house of the Giant and Boss. The days were long and the nights were louder. It took a few days for the boy to get used to it. Women danced, sang, giggled, played, and wrestled with them in shadows of darkness. men came to the door knocked, hollered even...they seemed pleased to see the Giant and a little afraid of Boss who was guard dog of the front door, quietly smoking his cigarettes speaking volumes with his chocolate browns observing the room and all.
The little boy never slept well mostly from nightmares of a scary man with no face he couldn’t remember and for the little girl who kept kicking him in her half asleep stupor as they shared a bed. In a room full of drunken bodies from a night of fill. So, he wondered the home and watched and listened. All the women seemed to want to feed him as soon as they saw him, so thin and small he was. The women, some of them naked all night long and some of them clad in tiny panties and corsets, patted his head and kissed the top of his head and brought him bags of sweets as the girl watched curiously from the shadows. She was invisible to all in this house, never her home. Our first year together I watched the boy hiding some of his bags of sweets under the bed and in his cupboard in case he got no more, in case some day the Boss took him by the collar and put him out on the street as quickly as he was found and welcomed him in this house of his and of course, if I found them and ate them. Little did he know I knew his hide places. We both knew never to get comfortable here.
Sunlight shone brightly through the cracked thinned curtains of the bedroom window we shared while the women slept during the day, the men workers came. Dark eyes creatures, shorting cash into bags, sorting and organizing other bags and things, talking and swearing. These men ignored Jack and I as we followed the Giant around trying to make sense of the conversations we heard. We could never predict when silence would come over the Giant. One minute he would be talking softly, gently, slowly, then Boss would give him 'the look' , and he would grab someone by the neck and drag them out of the house. Jack and I watched the violence with fascination. The Giant's face was calm, lips parted, eyes downcast, as his bear-like hands crunched bones and spattered blood up onto his cheeks.
“Allegra” His voice stern. “Get out of here girl! get the boy some food.” “But, but Jack can feed himself. I ain't his freakin' girl!” “Girl! do not question me. Get. NOW! before I clobber you,” The Giant grunted. Grabbing Jack’s hand, pulling it had as I lead him towards the kitchen. “He will never like me like he likes you, Jack.”
***** The Giant took Jack down the garden path and into the greenhouse,I would wander in the garden behind the house, pouting and sighing and yelling abuse at them. They sat on wooden stools at a huge wooden table, worked, talked and laughed. Spend hours planting in pots, tiny seedlings, pinching the little white lives into rich dark soil; lining them up into a tray. Sometimes they'd say nothing at all. When the Giant talked Jack listened as the bear-like the man got his heavy glossy books and pointed at images that I could see hiding in the shadows outside the greenhouse staring through my secret peephole at the base of the wooden sealed window. The giant man looked like a bear-sized to a little twelve-year-old girl, even bigger as he sat next to Jack on a wooden stool. Hours I would spend listening as Jack learned their Latin names to the plants they both planted and when Jack got them wrong Giant made Jack repeat over and over again until he got it right, sometimes they sat together and read other books...mechanical manuals and sports magazines, books of poetry. Even some kind of Greek mythology or something. Listening hard as I tried to follow their strange, winding tales, remembering names of gods of things.
Their most important work from what I could tell was harvesting the plants. Some of it was marijuana, which seemed fairly easy to dry, shop and package and could be done with careless hands. But the plants no one but the Giant was allowed to touch, took a lot of training to handle correctly as I tell Jack once. All of the deadly. Cassava root for concentrated cyanide, Abrus Precatorius for abrin position, Ageratina Altissima for milk poison.
Many, much more I didn't know what Giant did with the hundreds maybe thousand tiny small blue and green even clear glass bottles with deadly potions. But he seemed to enjoy the exacting art of dissecting the root bulbs, milking the seeds, boiling Cerbera Odollam into dry powder and mixing it into spices. He never gave in, never let me know so much as watch their business in the greenhouse. If he ever knew I spend hours watching in silence the Giant would kick my ass.
“Why only me and not Allegra?” Jack’s voice was surprisingly soft with concern. “ A woman with Allegra’s kind of temper let loose with the means to kill could bring the very world to its knees.”
Slowly, I brought the drink up to my lips, inhaled, mesmerized by the complex romantic relationship a mature long lasting relationship of rich dark mouth-coating amber legs swirls dancing down the side of the glass as it carries the wonderful spicy smoked woody nut aroma of oak and vanilla into my nasal passage coating my lips taking a slow sip of a familiar warm burn caress down my throat when I felt a male next to me shift in his seat, his broad muscular body brushed up against my side as he turned around and looked at me.
***** “Allegra?” I heard is voice whisper, strong, sure, a little worn out, “You doing ok? What are you doing in #Sunshine...Jack’s club?” I shifted in my seat looked deep into Rhonan's warm chocolate brown eyes full of concern. “Nope. Not really Rhonan. Just had to get a shot of liquid courage before making my way home. I told @Alickson_BDBRW everything.” “Ah, I see. I am so sorry sweetheart.” He pulled me into a warm embrace when the despair in my eyes raised catching the attention of @Aegis_BDBRW’s flecks of deep brown eyes married with lighter hues, so much strength remaining despite the years of weathering, so much life. I wanted to cry but no tears came out as his concerning eyes stared back when Jack walked around from behind the bar towards me while feeling my heart break into million pieces again reflecting back of my past.
#WhenWeWereYoung #AlexaAndJack #RhuinedWarriors #BDBRW #BDB