The Importance of âDearâ as a NounÂ
What does the language in Hamiltonâs letters tell us about his relationships?
Using the letters Hamilton wrote that are on Founders Online Iâve been examining at how he uses the word âdearâ (as well as variations âdearestâ, âdrâ and âchereâ). Founders Online has over 7000 letters and out of those he used âdearâ (or a variation) in approximately 1300 of them.
Dear as an adjective was used commonly in the 18th century. It is a pretty versatile word. Men were commonly addressed âdear sirâ or âmy dear sirâ this doesnât necessarily reflect any particular affection. Hamilton uses âdear sirâ or âdr. sirâ in 928 of the letters, he address a range of people as such, including George Washington, his good friend James McHenry, his boss from St Croix Nicholas Cruger and Thomas Jefferson.
It was also quite common to use dear before a name or title. He addresses John Laurens as âMy Dear Laurensâ, Richard Kidder Meade as âMy Dear Meadeâ, Baron von Steuben as âMy Dear Baronâ, Marquis de Lafayette as âMy Dear Marquisâ, William Duer as âMy Dear Duerâ, Susanna Livingston as âMy Dear Miss Livingstonâ, his son Philip as âMy Dear Philipâ ect.
He might use dear in conjunction with a nickname/pet-name to show affection. He frequently addresses McHenry âMy Dear Macâ. In one letter he refers to Laurens as âmy Dear Jâ. He uses a few variations with Eliza including âMy Dear Betseyâ, âmy Dear girlâ and âMy Dearest Angelâ. When their son James was sick he refers to him in a letter to Eliza as âour dear sick angelâ, and when John Church was sick he is âour dear lambâ.
He would also use âdearâ in conjunction with the relationship he had with them. For example he refers to a range of people as âMy Dear Friendâ including but not limited to John Laurens, Lafayette, James McHenry, Richard Kidder Meade, Gouverneur Morris and Angelica Church. He also refers to Angelica Church as âMy dear Sisterâ or âMy Dear Sister in Lawâ. His daughter Angelica is addressed as âmy dear daughterâ ect.
The best way to explain the difference between dear as an adjective and dear as a noun is to look at Hamiltonâs December 6th 1787 letter to Angelica Church. This many of you will recognise is the letter that inspired the Hamilton song Take a Brake. For those who arenât familiar with the historical letters here is a rundown of what happened:
In her October 2nd letter to Hamilton Angelica writes:
Indeed my dear, Sir if my path was strewed with as many roses, as you have filled your letter with compliments, I should not now lament my absence from AmericaâŚ
Notice the comma between âdearâ and âSirâ. Now this may be a mistake on Angelicaâs part but Hamilton latches onto it, he writes:
You ladies despise the pedantry of punctuation. There was a most critical comma in your last letter. It is my interest that it should have been designed; but I presume it was accidental. Unriddle this if you can.
Basically what Hamilton is on about is that she wrote âmy dear, Sirâ rather than âmy dear Sirâ. In the phrase âmy dear Sirâ, âdearâ functions as an adjective, a descriptor, he is a Sir who is dear. Thus the phrase âmy dear Sirâ doesnât have romantic connotations to it, as seen above it was communally used to politely address someone. However the comma changes this, the phrase becomes âmy dearâ, âdearâ in this instance functions as a noun, he is her dear, this makes it romantic.
Hamilton finished his letter with a flirtatious âAdieu ma chere, soeurâ which translates to âGoodbye my dear, sisterâ. Note the comma.
The entire premiss of this flirtation is the romantic sentiments attached to the the phrase âmy dearâ.
With this in mind I proceeded to examine Hamiltons use of the the phrase âmy dearâ (and variations âmy dr.â, âmy dearestâ and âma chereâ). In his correspondence on founders online he only uses âdearâ (or variations) as a noun 9 times and only to 4 different people: Elizabeth Hamilton, Angelica Church, John Laurens and Rufus King.
First and foremost I want to address the letter to Rufus King. This is a bit of an outlier as it doesnât seem to be a romantic letter. Hamilton addresses the letter âMy Dearâ however considering the context I suspect this may be a mistake. Hamilton tended to address King âMy Dear Sirâ or âMy Dear Kingâ so itâs possible that that is what he intended to write here.
Out of the remaining 8 letters 4 of them are to Eliza. As Eliza was his wife this is altogether unsurprising and I donât really have much to say on this. (If anything itâs surprising there are only 4 examples however he often uses other cute pet-names like âangelâ when writing Eliza which is romantic in itâs own way).
The one an only use in a letter to Angelica is the earlier example.
The remaining 3 are from letters to John Laurens.
Notably if you look at the draft for Hamiltonâs April 1779 letter to Laurens you can see that he originally wrote âAnd Now my Dear Jackâ before crossing out âJackâ. This shows a clear and purposeful choice to change âmy Dear Jackâ where âDearâ functions as an adjective to âmy Dearâ where âDearâ functions as a noun.
I will note that he has written âoneâ underneath with what appears to be an arrow pointing up as if he was changing it to âAnd Now my Dear oneâ however if you take a broader look at the draft you will see that âoneâ actually belongs to the line below.
So what is the point of this? One of the big problems we face when studying queer history is the change of language and how itâs used. Letâs take Hamiltonâs famous opening line from his April 1779 letter to Laurens as an example.
Cold in my professions, warm in â¨my⊠friendships, I wish, my Dear Laurens, it mâ¨ight⊠be in my power, by action rather than words, â¨to⊠convince you that I love you.
As someone in the 21st century I instantly read this as a romantic sentence, however one might point out that perhaps Iâm ignoring the historical context. In the 18th century unlike today it was not considered unusual for friends to write quite flowery affectionate letters to each other.
For example in his letter to Meade on the 22nd of October 1981 Laurens writes:
I embrace you tenderly: my eyes are sore, my body and mind fatigued by an uninterrupted flow of business, but as long as they exist, my friendship for you will burn with that pure flame which is kindled by your virtues_
I might counter this argument by pointing out that âby action rather than wordsâ reads like a euphemism, however one could easily argue that itâs somewhat ambiguous. While this sentence could be read as Hamilton saying that he wishes he could show his love for Laurens through sex, it could also be read as Hamilton saying he wants to show his love for Laurens through other non-sexual actions (such as doing nice things for him).
I could argue all day that this line is clearly romantic but without some concrete understanding of what language was considered romantic itâs hard to argue the point.
Hamiltonâs letter to Angelica clearly shows the romantic implications of âdearâ as a noun. If it didnât have such implications Hamiltonâs entire flirtation in this letter makes no sense. If we conclude that âdearâ when used as a noun is romantic, and Hamilton purposefully close to use âdearâ as a noun when addressing Laurens we must conclude that Hamilton intended it to be read as romantic.
One might suggest perhaps that it is different as Laurens was a man. That when writing a women it has a romantic connotation but writing a man it doesnât. However if this was true and the use of âdearâ as a noun between two men was a common term of endearment between friends we would surely see it used more.
Stepping away from Hamiltonâs letters for a moment I decided to look at some of the other letters on founders online. I didnât look at these letters in as much detail but a quick look seemed to indicate that the most common uses of âdearâ as a noun were between John Adams and his wife Abigail. While this was a very quick look I didnât identify anymore uses between people who were not already known to be romantically involved.
Based on this research I would conclude that âdearâ when used as an adjective could be romantic but definitely wasnât always romantic, however âdearâ when used as a noun carries a romantic connotation.
I would argue that we can conclude that people to whom Hamilton addressed as âmy dearâ (with perhaps the exception of King) were people he had romantic feelings for (or at least people he intended to suggest he had romantic feelings for).
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