"alexandra"

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[alexandr7a]

Although all books come to and end, she ended hers before the ink ran out.

[alexandr7a]

And eventually she came to terms with the fact that the only life she’d ever feel appreciated in, was the one she created in her head.

[anitaillemann]

[verpasstzuleben]

[saudness]

Nobody gives me butterflies no more, y’all just give me brain damage

[alexandr7a]

Fear

I fear you, I fear all of you. I fear the way you look at me like I’ve brought you your dreams. I fear that I know I can’t really give you them. I fear how you smile at every insignificant mannerism of mine. I fear the love in your eyes when you look at me. I fear the words that effortlessly fall from your lips, ‘I love you’, ‘you’re perfect for me’, you say. I fear how you believe so fully and recklessly in these words. I fear that I cannot say the same back with such ease. I fear how I imagined so many different lives for myself, and you? I fear how you did not belong in those. I fear the fact you are here now and I can’t do a thing about it. I fear that I will never allow myself to accept your love. I fear that I will not be able to reciprocate the adoration you have for me. I fear that you chose me. I fear how little I believe I deserve you. I fear that I cannot love like you can. I fear that you shall one day see, how much more you deserve. I fear that I won’t bring myself to let you in, to give me the love you carry in abundance. I fear that I can’t accept it. I fear that one day you will walk away, and I? I fear that I will let you, because that is the day I will have spent all those years preparing for. Instead of loving you, i fear you.

[remanence-of-love]

But first I’ll make you strong.

[thegoodvybe]

[alexandr7a]

[alexandr7a]

Bonny night

[alexandr7a]

[alexandr7a]

[alexandr7a]

i firmly believe in not proving my actions, my words and my opinions to anyone. i should not have to prove myself to anyone, those who are there for me are there for me and i do not need to prove to them that i am worth their time. i am worth what i choose to be worth and i will not let other people decide that for me...

[alexandr7a]

[alexandr7a]

[alexandr7a]

[alexandr7a]

Time and Space

I can travel for days upon days without realising I’m going in circles, my head is a gaping black hole, my thoughts floating past me, drifting this way and that way. Never stopping never moving but never with me, they know I cannot get to them, I cannot find them. They will never line up, there will always be one missing from today, maybe one from last week in yesterday’s, occasionally I stumble upon thoughts from so long ago I had forgot they were mine. Few will pummel me for some hours, chasing tears from my eyes until all can not be found. Shambles would do a description justice but it is still a word and each letter of this would not do so close together, it should be thought of as

s h a m b l e s