alexis moon.

to run the pad of your thumb across the tips of your fingers counting two three four five, reminding yourself that you’re here. close your eyes, breathe in deep, and hold; relish in the tightness forming in your chest, reminding you that you’re alive.

[seoftly-deactivated20190512]

Jisoo X Eugene Bidau

[alexitory]

ancientsvn·:

eunji straightened her back as she could feel alexis’ chin on her shoulder –– most likely just to ensure that the other was comfortable. reaching over with a hand, she pinches the woman’s cheek carefully, letting out a low huff. “yeah, does feel human to me. but you’ll have to continue to prove yourself.”, the manager said with a small chuckle. 

clearing her throat, she clicked through some windows on her laptop. “finances. monthly spendings, nothing interesting for you, at least for now.”, eunji hummed, finally pulling up their social media accounts. for a few moments, she just stared at the website, the hand she wasn’t using to navigate the trackpad, placed on alexis’ knee. with fingertips gently tracing small circles over the fabric of her pants, she finally remembered what she wanted to show the leader of the group.

“right, sorry.”, she let out a laugh, pulling up a graph. “i know it doesn’t look like much, but there’s this amount of people just waiting for dreamdrop to debut. weirdly enough.”, her brows raised tilting her head a little to get a glance of the other’s face. “and i don’t really mind you sneaking out. or anyone. it’s my business but not really at the same time, you know? however nowadays, with the internet and super obsessive people, just one picture taken at the wrong time at the wrong place and the whole thing is over.”, she almost whispered at this point, not wanting to catch the attention of anyone else. funnily enough, if someone would have taken a picture of them in this position right now, at a coffee shop, maybe wouldn’t have been the best image either. but who cared. 

“i know this is boring.”, eunji laughed, closing her laptop and pulling the plate with cake closer to alexis. “just be careful. i know you won’t make much trouble, i am not sure about the others, though. and they will most likely rather listen to you than to me.” 

          IT’S EASY TO FALL AND PLAY ALONG eunji’s antics as she scrunches her nose and giggles softly at the pinch. “continue to prove myself?” alexis questions in feigned surprise, raising an eyebrow at the other. then, she purposely leans closer to the manager, mischief clear in her orbs . “what other proof do you need? i’m consuming food right before you... or do you want to check if i have a beating heart? would that be enough?” she knew the connotations her suggestion had and, for some reason, she hoped that’d be enough to cause a reaction.

her slightly daring attitude doesn't stop there, feeling confident enough to wrap her arms around eunji’s waist as she browsed for whatever she wanted to show her. humming lightly in response, alexis’ eyes focus on the screen of the laptop, failing to understand what the displayed graphs represented. “it’s impressive that you do all that. i don't get any of it.” her compliment is genuine as she says it in a soft tone and it only makes her wonder how much the woman beside her has prepared for this job.

wandering thoughts come to a halt when a website, which she’s pretty familiar with, shows up in one of the windows. that’s not the only thing that catches her attention, though, and her brain takes a minute to register eunji’s light touch on her knee. it’s not the first time something like that happens but whenever it does, it’s a pleasant surprise for her, especially when it seemed like it was done out of habit, as if it was only natural. allowing herself to dwell on this a little longer, alexis smiles to herself before she focuses again on the screen, amazed at the disclosed information. “oh? it’s even more than what i expected.” her awe is palpable as she moves a bit closer to have a better look at the numbers. “we might have a chance once we debut.” she mumbles to herself. a moment later, she’s looking at eunji again, listening intently to her words while failing to notice just how close they were.

“you’re right… i know that and i’m pretty sure the others’ do, too. i guess it’s just a bit of a rebellious stage. we can just hope how much our debut means to everyone involved in this project. i would hate it to be jeopardized just because they were careless.” her words only reflect how much she cares about dreamdrop and noir, even showing a bit of the constant concern and worries that are always in her head.

“you know i never get bored around you, eunji.” alexis immediately defends, only moving one of her arms in order to grab the fork from the plate and have a bite, the other was still snuggly around eunji. “please, i’m basically a saint, you don’t have to worry ‘bout me. as for the others… i’m not so sure but i’ll try to keep them from creating too much trouble.”

[jisooq-deactivated20201205]

Girlfriends materiel 

[alexitory]

o-k-moon·:

@alexitory

Ohkyung had to wonder sometimes, whether moving to this smaller company from his previous position was the right choice. It was the opportunity of a lifetime - one that would lead to having a permanent position at one of the most prestigious entertainment companies in time. It tore his heart to bits, seeing dozens upon dozens of kids being cycled through - dropped left and right, cracking under pressure, sure.

But was it really less heartbreaking with this whole situation? A company on the cusp of bankruptcy with a handful of employees and one small group of trainees, among them one of his previous students. The one who asked him to come to Noir in the first place. Alexis.

She was one of Ohkyung’s most promising students, one that he was fairly close to. And then one day she was just… gone, leaving him puzzled. Were his methods too harsh? Is that why the girl was a rapper all of a sudden? Because he spurned her away from singing? And why ask him to come to a different company if she didn’t want to see him, or work with him as she had before? He had so many questions, but gave her space to figure things out. It wasn’t a thing he wanted to push. Months rolled by into a year, and the time had not made the situation any less fraught and awkward - enough that one day he typed out a message for Alexis on his phone, the same as she had to ask for him to come to the company. ‘I need to speak with you,’ he typed out, waiting in the studio for her while he was working on an arrangement at his piano. ‘Meet me in the practice room.’

          JIA’S STAY IN HER PREVIOUS COMPANY was quite the delicate topic for her and, whenever someone tried to pry, she used the brilliant excuse of a non-existent confidentiality agreement that didn’t allow her to disclose anything about it. there, alexis was fed with so many lies and empty promises of a brilliant future, at some point she genuinely believed all of it, and worked so hard towards her debut. only that it didn’t happen and everyday after that scandal was one full of uncertainty and insecurity. having to tread carefully out of fear became exhausting and it was then that she knew she just had to leave.

it was a difficult decision to make and signing her resignation letter only confirmed one of her biggest fears: failure. once she was out of that company, alexis decided to not look back and never contacted anyone again. yet, it was difficult to let go of such a big part of her life, reason why her contacts list was still full with the numbers of almost everyone she met back then. never would she have guessed that being a memories’ hoarder would come in handy when the vocal coach position in noir was suddenly up for grabs. after much hesitation, she sent a short text to the man that helped her improve her singing a lot and she knew would be the best option for the group to improve: moon ohkyung.

thing is that she was far too embarrassed to face him still and even a year after he was hired, alexis couldn’t be around him, always avoiding staying alone with him when it wasn’t related to lessons or practice. it is not surprising though to receive a text asking her to come to the practice room. alexis is no fool, but she still had the lingering hope that it’s something unrelated to her awful behaviour towards him. though, this is quickly dismissed upon entering the room and noticing that only ohkyung is there. feigning innocence, the rapper clears her throat and puts her best polite fake smile on. “greetings, mr. moon. are we rehearsing? or do i need some extra lessons?”

[alexitory]

starsbeam·:

♡         @alexitory·        ›       ALEXIS .

life was never dull with alexis around, and for that, heart would be eternally grateful. when she packed up her entire existence in a few suitcases and flew from everything she knew into the great wide unknown, never in a million years would she have believed that she could have found such a solid, funny friend in her fellow member. whenever the pair were together, a giggling sort of light, lilting laughter could be expected and it followed them everywhere they went. alas, the ease with which they could break out into hysterics caused heart to worry about bringing anything potentially heavy up. case in point: she’d been meaning to ask alexis for help with one of the dances that the group had been working on. heart wouldn’t think of alexis as someone to laugh out loud at her ( and not at something she’d said ) but she still grew sick with worry. oh well, heart decided that not knowing the dance was worse than facing her fear of confrontation ( she couldn’t get kicked out of the group for not being super persistent … could she? ) so she put on her bravest face and approached alexis right before the leader was set to walk into the practice room. “hey!” heart began, a little too brightly. she had half a mind to think of some cover up as to why she was in the same area in case this went downhill. “i like your shoes, they’re pretty cute.” heart waited it out, trying to see if alexis was in a good enough mood. maybe there was a way that she could conjure a good mood out of the other girl? it was worth a shot. “did i show you that my melody meme?”

          ALEXIS ALWAYS FOUND IT DIFFICULT to balance being a good leader and a good friend, not quite knowing what the role entitled once it was shoved into her hands to do what a leader was supposed to do. it was quite a difficult position to be in because she didn’t want the girls to think of her as an overbearing person and like they couldn’t trust her, but at the same time without wanting them to abuse the trust she had in them. with heart, though, it was a completely different story and it all started with a meme, which so easily had jia bursting with joyful laughter and tears filled with amusement. with her, it was easy to forget the boxes they have been put into or how much depended on their success as a group. spending time with her was a relief she didn’t know it was much needed after extremely strenuous days, just like the one she was currently going through. she had booked one of the rooms for some additional practice on her own and, as she was making her way she was greeted by heart. alexis wasn’t surprised to find her after hours in the company’s building, but what piqued her interest was the perhaps overly bright tone the younger girl used with her. she glanced at her worn out sneakers before squinting at the other. “thanks? they are pretty old actually.” crossing her arms, alexis quirked a questioning brow in heart’s direction. “you haven’t yet… but, is there something wrong? you’re acting a bit suspicious, heart.”

[alexitory]

imnaris·:

even when they weren’t scheduled to practice their dancing and choreography, nari could be found in the practice room by herself at random times. while singing was her strongest point, evidence by her having the main vocalist spot of the group, she felt she needed a bit more practice by herself for their moves. maybe it was that innate perfection that had been instilled in her as she was growing up, shoved down her throat by her parents and tutors and coaches. she wanted their debut to be perfect and she certainly didn’t want to be the weak link when they finally released their first single, maybe even album.

they had practiced earlier today, evidence by the leftover bags and scattered almost empty water bottles that littered random parts of the practice room. surely they should have cleaned up those, but she guessed it was because sometimes they pushed themselves especially hard during practice, that everyone was too tired to even think of tidying up. nari had come back an hour or so later after they had left to take a break. yes, she had taken a break, shoved some healthy snacks down into her belly and immediately came back to the room. she had been intent on practicing on her own, but something had caught her eye, a small notebook on the floor.

nari should have steeled her curiosity, should have looked right away from the notebook and turned on the music. but she didn’t instead scooping up the book and setting herself down on the floor. she hadn’t opened it too long, only able to skim a few pages here and there before she nearly jolted in response to jia’s voice. she pauses stunned, her grip on the notebook only faltering slightly. “ oh i.. i haven’t been reading it long. it’s yours? i didn’t know. i just found it. ” she frowns slightly and sets the book down for fear of the other swiping it from her too fast. “ i’m too curious, i’m sorry. ”

          ALEXIS DOESN’T FAIL TO REALIZE she accidentally startled nari, but her annoyance was greater at the moment to even feel bad about the way she sort of snapped at her. her eyes narrow by the second until the notebook is placed on the floor, a possessive instinct takes over her and she immediately crouches down to grab it. hugging it to her chest to protect it from prying eyes and unwelcomed hands, jia glances briefly at the other before making sure that her treasured collection of random thoughts and unfinished songs wasn’t altered in any way.

it’s only when confirming that it was indeed intact that she allows herself to relax, a sigh making her relief evident and she decides to plot down on the floor in front of nari, stretching her legs when realizing how tense her whole body had been all this while. “it’s okay, i should’ve been more careful.” her tone is drastically different from a moment ago and she offers her teammate an apologetic smile. “and sorry… this is kinda important to me.” it's a weak attempt to justify her attitude. although she knows she needed to be more tactful, especially when it was her own fault, she can’t bring herself to provide more of an apology.

her eyes wander around the room, frowning upon noticing the mess the whole group left behind and a disapproving shake of the head follows, more so to herself for being too focused on her own issues. this reminds her that they were supposed to be taking a break and yet, nari was back in the practice room way before it was over. “why are you here on your own? trying to get ahead of the game?” she asks playfully, quirking an eyebrow in wonder while looking at nari. “but really, aren’t you supposed to be resting with the others?”

[alexitory]

ancientsvn·:

she had stared at the other for a few moments, wondering about a few things; one of them being why they had chosen a girl with such a cute appearance to be the leader of a group, but it was none of her business, in the end. just something that had crossed her mind randomly. eunji let out a low sigh, placing down the small fork onto the plate, leaning back into the chair. with her hands running over the wooden table, she thought for a few more moments. the manager was sure her constant thinking might be annoying to some, but there were a lot of schedules and questions rummaging through her head. 

“you can’t control them because you think control is not the answer.”, she repeated, brows raising, slightly suspicious of the younger’s words. propping up her chin with the palm of her hand, she picked at her skin a little. “it almost sounds like you’re saying idols are humans too, and not just some sort of entertainment machines?”, there was a small grin tugging on the corner of her lips, shaking her head lightly. “sorry.”, she still grinned as she leaned slightly over the table, offering alexis a gentle smile. 

“i get that. you just gotta keep in mind that for you and anyone in dreamdrop one wrong step could be enough to ruin everything.”, eunji cleared her throat, moving herself and her laptop further to the side, patting the space next to her on the cushioned bench. “come here, let me show you something.”, she said as she pulled up some documents. 

          HAVING EUNJI’S EYES ON HER made alexis become conscious for a couple of seconds, not knowing if her answer was what the other had expected or even welcomed at all. the manager’s following reaction didn’t ease her concerns and neither did the silence that ensued shortly after, it only had her wondering if she made the other angry somehow. upon further observation, though, it seemed like the woman was simply thinking deeply about something and she couldn’t help but stare with a tilted head, patiently waiting.

what eunji says manages to make her laugh wholeheartedly while shaking her head in amusement. “between us?” alexis says, leaning only a little over the table with a mischievous grin. “we are humans too.” after a brief pause, she continues. “very shocking, i know.” as if she had just made the biggest reveal of the century, the leader of the upcoming group sits back again with a shrug, her lips still curled into a smile. “there’s nothing to be sorry for”.

“i know… honestly, i've gotten tired of telling them not to do it. at this point, i only remind them to be careful and make sure no one recognises them.” alexis scratched her temple before sighing. she was really aware of what was at stake, after all, she has experienced the consequences of a scandal firsthand before. “hm?” she’s curious as to what the manager wants to show her, thus she doesn’t hesitate a second to unceremoniously plot beside eunji and rest her chin on the woman’s shoulder. “what is it?”

[alexitory]

sunswrites·:

𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓  but it would not be any good in the end because he would be spending the rest of the night at home worrying about her still. while the number of hours he could be getting tonight has decreased the longer he stays, he is always ready to give it up and more if it means ensuring that alexis or the rest of the girls are okay. there is no way he is not going to walk away when he sees that she was okay, his eyes softening the longer he observes the way she was curling up into herself before she finally let herself go and to fall. the very reason why taeyang was here appears as he moves closer to the younger girl before holding her in his arms, gently cradling her close as he soothes her with every pat on the back: to catch her fall and allowing her to fall apart. because the only way to get from rock bottom to the top is to hit the ground but slowly and surely rise again. 

“you do not have to apologise for being only human. you have done so well despite how bad today must have been for you. i am sorry that the instructors were not as understanding and patient as they should about your current condition. there is no excusing what they said or did to you but i hope you do not take it personally because as much as their words and their actions might hurt and be confusing sometimes, they ultimately mean well and want the best for you. the way they express their concern and care is not the most ideal but i assure you that they are not trying to blame you for getting sick as if it is something you did on purpose. their words and their actions are not able to reflect what they really meant to tell you and i’m sorry.” 

he carefully shifts her until her head rests against his shoulder so that if she ever feels like crying, his shoulder was there for her to comfortably cry into. “it is a lot of pressure to be placed on one person and yet you have done so well. you are doing so good. the sleep you have sacrificed, the aches on your body that only seems to grow each day, the hours you place into improvising yourself: i see it all, i know of it and i appreciate each and everything you are doing not only for yourself but for the others. you are so strong, stronger than you give yourself credit for. you are a motivation to not only to the other girls but to myself, eunji and the rest of the staff to work harder and to do better. you are great as you are now and you will only continue to grow into someone astounding and an inspiration to many.”

         IT’S EASY TO BECOME VULNERABLE around taeyang. he was the closest thing to home she had felt in a really long time and his warm embrace reminded her to that of her brother’s. it gave her the same comforting sensation and the reassurance that it was okay to just be herself in that very moment: no pretenses, no forced smiles or false i’m okay’s. so, after he dismissed her weak apology, she allowed herself to crumble and feel everything she’s been stubbornly locking into forgotten boxes, stored in the very pits of her being. after several years, they have nothing but been piling up and the heartbreak, the pain, the frustrations, the unmet expectations, the pressure, the uncertainty, the thoughts that eat her alive all came out in broken sobs and painful tears.

she struggles to understand what he’s saying and only a couple of his words make sense as she listens. still, the leader is too deafened by her own cries to will herself to completely focus on his voice… yet, she was able to figure out the last bits of his speech and alexis was able to identify nothing but sincerity behind it. as a response, suspecting her voice would be too much of a whisper to hear, she wrapped her arms around his torso, trying to curl further into that welcoming warmth, but also to show the immense appreciation and gratitude she had for him. at this point, she’s aware that perhaps she’s just ruining his clothes and that she’s taking advantage of his own kindness by keeping him hostage of the mess she had turned into.

“thank you” is all alexis is able to say, not trusting herself to say anything and far too embarrassed to look at him.

[dailyb99gifs]

[bubblegeon]

[starsbeam-deactivated20200705]

♡         open to    ›       EVERYONE .

♡ dreamheart: i found this on the ground outside the practice room ♡ dreamheart: BUT it was in its wrapper ♡ dreamheart: what do we think gang? do i eat it? ♡ dreamheart: also … if you lost it then sorry finders keepers

[alexitory]

dreamalexis: firstly, why does that look so delicious, i’m mad. dreamalexis: secondly, was it PERFECTLY sealed?  dreamalexis: because if not, don’t do it. dreamalexis: if it was, please give it to me. 

[alexitory]

                                 dreamdrop’s alexis × ― ∘ task 01

                                                profile

stage name : alexis birth name : moon jia nicknames : alex, lexi position : leader + main rapper  specialties : ability to memorize lyrics really fast, is able to play songs in the piano or guitar after listening to them for a couple of times, taking photos and editing them. birthday : january 3rd, 1996 zodiac sign : capricorn height : 164cm weight : 49kg bloody type : a birthplace : seoul, south korea. family :          moon jaehyung (father)          kwon aeyong (mother, prev moon)          moon jaeho (older brother) education : attended school of performing arts seul  instagram : @dreamalexis nationality : dual nationality, korean-american

                                                 etc.

10 fast facts :        × she’s really good at singing as well as rapping, though due to her a bit deeper and different voice than usual, she was assigned the role of a rapper to seize this potential to the fullest. still, she enjoys singing every now and then.        × cries easily, especially when watching movies, tv shows or anime and in the comfort of her room.        × really enjoys taking photos of other people, especially the dreamdrop’s girls, thus her own instagram account is not as regularly updated as others’.        × she gets drunk with a couple of drinks, she’s quite a lightweight and whenever she gets in such state, she starts to randomly laugh at the simplest things and gets too clingy with the people around her.         × despite being allergic of cats, she will risk it to a decent level to pet one for a couple of minutes before she has a harsh reaction on her skin.        × she’s a sucker for marvel movies, she’s watched all of the mcu ones at least twice and her favorite hero is spiderman.        × she started a small collection of funko figurines a couple of years ago, at the moment she has around twelve and most of them are different versions of spiderman and deadpool. her favorite one though is toothless from how to train your dragon.        × plays video games in her free time, either in her phone, in a nintendo switch her mom got her last year or in her pc. some of the games she plays include mobile legends, mario kart, overwatch, sims 4, pubg, etc.         × her favorite food are snacks and street food, will risk getting reprimanded to have fish cakes or fried chicken.         × has learnt how to not be shy in front of the cameras thanks to her previous agency having cameras in every practice room and they’d upload to a youtube channel their progress as trainees (imagine seventeen before debut). initially, she didn’t like the idea and would try to stay out of the frame most of the time, but as she got closer to some other trainees, she became more outgoing and confident. what brought them to noir? : the empty promises from her previous agency to debut her soon-ish, which never happened. resigning said company, she auditioned yet again and noir called her back a few weeks later.  what was the song / group / dance that made them interested in the idol world? : it wasn’t really any of these that interested her, but her mother’s and friend of hers’ advice to audition with the hopes of being signed in an agency that gave their artists more creative freedom. if they weren’t involved in the idol world, what else would they be doing? : she’d probably have another music related job like a teacher, private tutor or even a producer. an idol/celebrity they could be compared to ( whether it be style , demeanor or talents ) + why : on-stage she has a similar attitude and style as soyeon (g-idle), kim lip (loona), dami (dreamcatcher) and yezi (former fiestar), mainly because despite her off-stage insecurities, she knows when she’s on stage she has to sell it thus she acts really confident in her performance, truly believing in “fake it ‘till you make it”. off-stage, she has a similar behavior to solar (mamamoo) and kim jisoo herself, both responsible but knowing the right timings to be playful or serious. what is the meaning behind their label ( the label you applied with? ) : the mother, someone genuinely caring for her peers and everyone around her, she tends to fuss about their well-being, both physically and mentally, knowing how important a good balance between the two is key for a better performance. she tends to be overprotective as well and won’t really hesitate to call people out whenever it’s deemed necessary.  what’s their biggest wish for themselves? : to success as a musician and not only as an idol, gaining fame and status for her talent in composing music. what’s their biggest wish for the group? : to have a successful debut with a concept that accommodates everyone and is distinctive of the group, to make everyone think with every song they release “that’s dreamdrop”. what’s their biggest wish for the company? : to recover from this difficult moment to the point that they stop worrying about going bankrupt and to debut many, many talented people and help them achieve their dreams the way they are helping dreamdrop. 

[alexitory]

          IT WAS OBVIOUS THAT SOMETHING WAS WRONG when the generally composed and cool-headed leader of dreamdrop was seen in a hurried, frantic state looking for something all around the noir’s building. room upon room was visited and searched thoroughly by her, mindlessly interrupting whoever was inside and apologising only when confirming that the object she was searching for wasn’t there. some asked her what happened and if they could help her in any way, but alexis politely rejected their kind offerings and brushed their concerns with a visibly fake “it’s nothing, don’t worry.”

alexis was utterly stressed by the time she returned to the practice room, where she failed to notice if someone else was there. “where the hell did i leave it?” she mumbles to herself as she grabs her bag from the floor, looking through it for the third time that day with the hope of finding the object in there, but her search was unsuccessful yet again. a displeased grunt leaves her lips as she turns around and finds someone sitting quietly on the floor. upon squinting a little, jia is able to notice a familiar notebook in their hands as they seemed to be immersed reading through the worn out pages.

normally, she wouldn’t even dare interrupting, but when realising they were holding her notebook, which had her recent compositions and songs scribbled in it, she couldn’t help getting angry and embarrassed at the same time. “you shouldn’t be reading that” the woman said, her tone harsher than usual as she stood before them. “please give it back.”

[alexitory]

ancientsvn·:

( @alexitory· )

☆ ° she had already got used to doing her job, and usually, she was on top of things. schedule this, phone call that, keeping all of her ducks in a row –– it was all she had to do. and as always, this wasn’t exactly a problem, it was more like something that’d be easier on her if she just didn’t have to do anything by herself. sure, taeyang was a big help as well, he was just a bit softer than she was and it was just easy to … bypass his demands in one way or another. and eunji was aware of that. on top of that, to the public it always seemed like the leader of a group was the one organizing their lives and making sure they are all getting along. now, eunji wasn’t sure if that was really the case for every single idol group out there, and she knew that trying to organize a bunch of girls wasn’t always the simplest thing to do.

her fingertips were drumming against the table, her laptop and a bunch of papers strewn around the table, she blinked a few times at the woman sitting across from her. “you know…”, she started off, impaling the piece of cake that they had chosen upon entering the café, shoving a big piece into her mouth. there wasn’t that much of an eating - sleeping - living schedule for her anymore, everything just kind of seemed to blur together. “have you got an idea on how to control the rascals? or do you just indulge in horrible habits together with them?” , eunji was sure she had had this conversation with the leader before, but now with the comeback inching closer every day, it was important to know what the other was doing. or thinking. 

pointing at the other with her tiny fork, her eyes squinted a little. “and no more sneaking out. all of you! you’re gonna get me killed, i swear.”, she added on, taking a big gulp of her iced coffee. 

          AS THEIR DEBUT APPROACHES alexis is, admittedly, more and more nervous each passing day and ,to avoid overthinking too much, she likes to keep herself extremely busy. this meant she liked to stay behind to practice for an extra couple of hours, or to ask the staff if there was anything she could do to help. it’s come to the point that she pesters the managers to involve her a little bit more in their activities and decision making. though, this proved to be a difficult task to accomplish since she had activities of her own and they told her most of the time that she shouldn’t worry too much, but she did and she couldn’t help it.

thus jia was over the moon the moment eunji asked her to come along to a nearby coffee shop, what for? she didn’t know, nonetheless she was on board when noticing that the other woman was taking her laptop and some files with her. she truly hoped it was a work-related meeting or something of the sorts. it wasn’t, and it was obvious she was disappointed when being told it was simply to have something sweet while the other worked. hiding her disappointment with a smile, alexis sits quietly across eunji after ordering a matcha green tea latte. a moment later she’s playing some games on her phone waiting for the manager to be over so they could go home.

“huh?” the question makes her feel a little bit nervous, fully knowing what habits the other was talking about. alexis immediately puts the phone down and looks at the woman before her. “well… they are not that horrible.” she defends with a casual shrug and, even though she doesn’t agree to a few things they do, it still felt right to stand up for the other girls at that moment. “you know, it’s not easy to be literally locked up all day, eunji. we basically wake up, stay the whole day in at the company just to stay the whole night in at the dorm and repeat.” she then, chuckles a little at the tiny fork, simply finding its size a bit hilarious. “not more sneaking out… for now. back to your question, though. it’s been a while since i’ve known them and i still have no idea how to ‘control’ them…” as she continues, she makes sure to emphasize that by making air quotes with fingers. “but mainly because i don’t believe control it’s the answer.”

[paramoresongs]

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[alexitory]

sunswrites·:

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐃𝐈𝐃 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐁𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐈𝐌. he would say that it was welcomed after spending a day full of noise and demands. words did not have to be spoken because there was already a conversation between them from gestures and looks alone. he watches the street, counting the rows of windows from building to building. he takes note of the room with the lights on and he begins creating possible stories and scenarios for each room. maybe there is someone working late into the night to finish the day’s work and not let it be dragged on into the next day where another stack of papers waits for them. maybe there are friends gathered around a small table together as they shared drinks and stories of the old and the new, playful banter and laughter keeping the night young and alive. or maybe there are people like the both of them, trying to find comfort and motivation to face a new day in the busy and the fast-moving world they are in. 

seeing her reach for the bags makes him smile, even more so when she is carefully but slowly allowing herself to be open with him. “i am not going home without you.”  the only way he would be leaving if it is with her and he is dropping her off at the dorm. “i will be alright. i have stayed up and been at the company far later than this.” oftentimes coming up with ideas and back up plans because you can never be too sure or too safe when it comes to the idol industry, having lost count of the times he had woken up on the sofa instead of the comforts of his bed

“you did well today.” it may have been said suddenly and out of the blue but he means every bit of it nonetheless. “you faced through today. regardless of how it turned out, you did your best. i am proud of you.” grinning, taeyang leans over and gently messes up the younger’s hair. “you are doing so well. your hard work and determination, i see it and i appreciate it. thank you jia, for all that you are doing and striving to be.”

          IT WAS HER CARING NATURE KICKING IN when she finally looked up at him with a displeased frown at the disclosure of his late endeavours at the company. “you shouldn’t stay here too late either way, you need to rest properly.” it’s all alexis manages to say, feeling awful that he’s refusing to leave without her and yet not being able to will herself to pack up and go home. rather, she settled further into her current seat after finishing the rest of the tasty honey lemon taeyang brought. it seems like her whole attention is focused on neatly packing the tumbler into the original bag, when in reality it was just simply another excuse to avoid any chance of a conversation.

his next words, though, freeze her on the spot at the genuine sincerity they held; for once, she believed them to be truth and, at the same time, she felt like she wasn’t worthy of them. still, they manage to shake her completely and it utterly surprises her how the male beside her seemed to know exactly what she needed to hear at the moment. taking them in, alexis finds herself crossing her arms while looking away yet again, feeling a couple of tears pool in her eyes and she definitely didn’t want taeyang to see them.

“today was awful though,” she tried to stubbornly defend her incompetence instead of giving in and stroking her own ego. “the instructor got really mad at me, both, vocal and dance for getting sick? as if it was my fault, taeyang!” something inside her snapped at that very moment and, without meaning to, her walls lowered and she started complaining about every single little thing that had added to her breakdown. “as if i had purposely tried to catch a flu.” with a scoff, the leader of dreamdrop rolled her eyes and finally shifted in her seat to completely face the manager. “i keep trying so hard. i  practice till very late, even at the dorm and, on top of that, i have to make sure the girls are okay because if not, i’m not at peace due to constantly worrying about them. it’s just-” her voice breaks a little then and she fights so hard to not cry, but immediately falls as the back of her hands roughly rub at her eyes. “it’s just too damn much sometimes…” she mumbles before laughing dryly, there's not humour in this, but raw incredulity and embarrassment of her sudden change. “i’m really sorry for this.”

[ancientsvn]

open sns thread !!

{noir-eunji📩} –– if i snack on cereals without milk {noir-eunji📩} –– am i eating the cereal… {noir-eunji📩} –– … raw?! {noir-eunji📩} –– thoughts please,

[alexitory]

dreamalexis: that’s such an interesting question dreamalexis: i mean... dreamalexis: it actually makes a lot of sense if you think more about it dreamalexis: just like ramen without water, right?