never enough for the path of war you are shackled to

ALEXANDER OLLIVANDER —you're afraid of disastor relief— 23. curse breaker. halfblood. ❝ his everything is chaos. a battlefield for a mind, an earthquake in his bones, fire coursing through his veins. he has never known peace, destruction clings to him like a shadow, only disappears when darkness overtakes.  ❞

[alexxollivander]

valcarrow:

“dorian—-?” she leaned into his embrace with no complaint, resting her head against his shoulder—-she was still so tired for some reason. “but i—-i saw her, alex, she’s not fine, i—-” she pulled back, eyebrows raised in surprise, “you were there? you’re—-wait, you’re hurt.” she bent slightly to examine the gash on his side with concern, then anger, “who hurt you?! and—-what were you doing there in the first place, alex, you could’ve been KILLED, and i couldn’t—-” cupping his cheek gently for a moment—-not a word usually associated with valeria carrow, but alex ollivander could bring it out of her—-she gave him a searching look, her gaze softening, “you got me out of there, didn’t you? is that why you were there? ….for me?”

“she will be.” at least he hoped that she would be. dorian was stubborn and protective and jacqueline, well, she fought well enough to survive he thought. she’d be okay. “they were headed to st. mungos last that i’ve heard...” alex hesitated before nodding his head, sighing once her attention had been adverted to the injury on his side. carefully, he pushed hid it with his hand, shrugging his shoulders as if he didn’t care. “it doesn’t matter...i’m right here and aside from that little paper cut i’m fine. whether i could have been killed or not, i don’t...” he paused, heart skipping a beat as the look in her eyes turned gentle. alex stuttered, lowering his gaze out of shyness uncharacteristic of him. “i...i guess i didn’t really give it a second thought. -- i mean....dorian and rhys...they needed help too and i, uh-” he wasn’t going to mention that at the very hint of something being wrong at the ball he’d rushed into action, not waiting for anyone because he had to make sure she was okay. “-it just so happened that i saw you...who knows what you would have done--what would have happened if i’d been a little late.”

[alexxollivander]

valcarrow:

valeria stirred, eyes fluttering open for a moment before promptly burying her face in the pillow she’d been sleeping on, sighing in contentment as she drifted in a comfortable state of semi-consciousness. she was warm, safe, a familiar scent surrounding her, and for a moment she forgot everything leading up to her awakening—–she was with alex. alex was back. a sleepy smile spread across her face and her hand reached out blindly, finding his and lacing their fingers together as she murmured, “al—? when did you—-” brows furrowed as her mind worked to catch up with her surroundings. when had he gotten back? when had they even met up? the last thing she remembered was—-

”jac.” she bolted up from the bed, eyes wide as she ran a  hand through unkempt hair. “alex—where is—–the battle, jac—-we have to GO!” she got to her feet, stumbling as the covers tangled around her legs, “my wand—-alex, where’s my wand? why—–how did i even get here?” her voice wasn’t angry, not quite, but frantic—–what had happened?!

it seemed like the charm would last forever ( not his intention but it came in handy in keeping her away from the battle ). alex felt like he’d walked through hell, seeing people fall around him while he charged forward towards val fairly unharmed. he’d found her clawing at quinn, struggling to get to her sister and he’d swept in and charmed her into a peaceful sleep. however, it seemed it was his turn to get clawed.

alex sighed, unsure how to calm her enough to just stay put but he at least had to try before they both had to go out in that mess. “val, she’s okay...dorian came with me to the ball and jacqueline got out okay.” he slid across the bed, taking her hand to lure her into a hug. “it’s been a few hours and the battle is likely over but it isn’t safe out. we can go see her tomorrow? promise me you’ll stay here with me until we can go together. -- and your wand...i couldn’t find it.”

[alexxollivander]

valcarrow:

val’s arms folded over her torso almost defensively, taking in alex’s rant with her eyes fixed firmly on the ground, trying to process what he was saying. ‘since when have you thought of me’—-had she really been that self-absorbed? it wasn’t surprisingly, exactly—-she was incredibly selfish—-but alex…. she craved his attention and affection, it was true, but the moments she liked the most between them were the ones where they were both happy. she cared about him and—maybe in her effort to keep herself safe, she’d done too good of a job and he hadn’t been able to tell. “wait—wait, alex, stop.” her hand circled around his wrist and she took a step forward, lessening the distance between them, “i—i didn’t—-okay, i leave, i run away, i know but it’s just… i’m—” she let out a strained huff, “—if i stay i—you’ll see how much i want… you, and that’s—-it’s HARD. but i don’t—-i don’t give up. i come back. i always come back. and even when i’m gone i’m not doing—–i’m waiting too, okay? until i can come back.” val knew she wasn’t the most emotionally intelligent of her siblings—-jac held that title by a mile at least—-but this was important, she knew, and while she was scared of revealing too much, she was equally scared of not saying enough to keep him from giving up on her, “—i didn’t realize—-i thought you knew how much i—-how i… feel about you.”

“ if you love me like you want me to believe you do, then why is it so hard? ” carefully, he pushed her hand away from his wrist and widened the distance once again. alex sighed, rubbing his hands over his face before stuffing them into his pockets. “--i’m tired..don’t follow me i..want to be alone for a little while. don’t drink and go home with jacqueline or sera, okay?” turning his back to her, he started off only to spin on his heels to quickly press a kiss to her cheek. “don’t get too mad at me this time.” making sure she wans’t holding on, he disapparated with a loud crack.

[alexxollivander]

valcarrow:

where alex stood his ground, val hesitated; because this was not how things usually went. he did something to piss her off, she exploded; he let her storm away and some time later they both moved past it. it was exhausting, sometimes, and not what she wanted but it was SAFE. it worked, and it kept them in each other’s lives—-it kept alex with her in some way—-rather than whatever might happen if—-if he pushed her like he was now. “i—-” she floundered, for a moment, panicking and simultaneously wondering how she could ever answer him—-how she could ever explain how she felt, “i d—-you—-you try to make me mad! you—-you’re always baiting me and—-it works because you could, you could do whatever you wanted with whoever and i couldn’t—-do anything about it but be the—someone who wasn’t enough to keep your attention even though i—” she shook her head, one hand reaching up to smooth back her hair while the other covered her mouth for a moment, before continuing, “i get mad because you do THIS—–you—-say something about being faithful and then say we’re nothing in the next breath and it’s—-confusing and” and painful, “—a—-and so i get mad!”

“ should i start storming off like you do then? “ alex furrowed his brows, taking a step away from her and threatened another. “ you’re right, though. i do bait you and i expect a different reaction every time and yet you’re always angry -- you always give up on me. tell me one time that you’ve actually stayed? of course, i like to see you jealous it at least means you think i’m something to lose but in the end you its always the same.” he felt embarrassed to be complaining about something as silly as his own hurt feelings. perhaps he was selfish in wanting her to want him first. “ how can this be something when you run away all of the time? i’m the one that’s always waiting for you to come back...since when have you thought of me, huh? why would i commit to someone who im not even sure will stay with me -- through thick and thin? ”

[alexxollivander]

valcarrow:

“don’t push me, alex.” she warned, but her threat was an empty one; valeria might yell or curse or burn his things, but she wouldn’t hurt him. “fuck yo—what?” she’d been ready for a fight, ready to hide the embarrassment and hurt she felt with anger as usual, but his words left her feeling strangely off balance, a mixture of confusion, wariness, and a traitorous bit of hope flitting across her face as she replied slowly, “i—-what if i said yes? that i DO—like you,” valeria kept her gaze firmly away from his, heart beating rapidly, “that much?”

“ and what if i do push you? what’s going to happen then? ” he retorted, still standing firm in his place. he was curious though. she had her insecurities about him but he also had his own about her -- though she didn’t seem to care to figure them out. “ you like me that much that you give me none of your trust? despite me being faithful to you for this long when we aren’t a ‘thing’. i’ve been doing this since hogwarts and yet you still get this mad-- is it because you aren’t getting what you want how you want it? i understand how to make you angry but i don’t get why you do...” he didn’t care if they were in the middle of a crowd laughing and adorning costumes. he didn’t care if this was technically their first date -- he wanted an answer and he’d get it.

[alexxollivander]

valcarrow:

“stupid fucking ferris wheel—–stupid fucking carnival—-STUPID—-” valeria’s heated muttering was cut off as someone stepped into her path, and her eyes flashed in irritation, fists clenched at her side, “you’re in my way—-M O V E .”

“ make me. “ he replied arms crossed over his chest, ready to take whatever she wanted to throw at him. “ --do you really like me this much? or are you going to get over me real fast if i did ask you out? “

[alexxollivander]

Lily: 🎂 PARDY!!!!! @ 14 hipogriffff st in hogsmafde

Lily: TELL UR FRINDS, TELL UR NEGHBRS, TELL UR 2ND COUZINS

Lily: DONT TELL UR MUMS

Lily: PREZZZZIES OR ILL SLASM TH DOOOOR IN UR FCE

Lily: 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

Alex: i'm actually going to kill you

Alex: you, nat and annie

Alex: 💀🔪🖕🏼

[alexxollivander]

valcarrow:

val had been waiting outside of his house for him to come home, and stood as he approached, eyes straying despite her best efforts, “definitely—-” val said with a roll of her eyes, smirk lighting up her face as she continued, “my virgin eyes are just so overwhelmed right now, alex.” another pause, and she continued, “i left my—-jacket here, the other night.”

“you just can’t stay away.” he shook his head with a deep sigh as he walked over to her, greeting her with a brighter smile than normal. “your jacket or my jacket?” He asked, narrowing his eyes playfully, “--wait, are you stalking me now?”

[alexxollivander]

“What?” Alex sipped his water, tugging the shirt his back pocket and tossed it over his shoulder.  “ Is it your first time seeing a guy shirtless or something?”

[alexxollivander]

valcarrow:

valeria glared up at him sullenly as he spoke, pointedly ignoring (or doing her best to) his close proximity to her—-it had been a while, at least it felt that way, since he’d been this close to her. she gave a frustrated sigh, arms crossed defensively over her chest, “—-a lot, okay? you know it’s a lot, fucking—” she grumbled under her breath, lips quirking downward into a frown and words spilling from her mouth that certainly never would have seen the light of day if she were sober, “you’re the one—-you’re not talking to me either, so i don’t—-i don’t need someone who doesn’t want to be wit—here, i’m not some fucking CHARITY case, alex.”

“Then I can’t leave you like this. So, you’re stuck with me -- suck it up.” Alexander heaved his own sigh, filled with just as much frustration as hers. Though he was tired and in desperate need of a drink, he kept his patience. “Do I honestly look like I’m giving you charity? Do you think I came to this bar in order to stop you from drinking because I felt sorry for you?” He rolled his eyes and reached for the drink that he’d motioned for the bartender to get. “Somehow I always run into when you’re causing trouble and while  I’m pissed at you, I still -- care. So stop being a brat and let me.”

[alexxollivander]

valcarrow:

“i—-” Valeria’s eyes slid over, meeting his for the briefest of moments before turning resolutely back to the bar, “well, i didn’t ask, did i? i’ve had—-” she didn’t  r e m e m b e r, at this point, “it doesn’t matter, alex,” she drew his name out, finally spinning around to face him, "and we’re not talking, anyway, so,” she stood, rather ungracefully, and tried to walk past him; unfortunately, her foot caught on something (air, most likely), and she stumbled into him, her hand gripping his arm to steady herself.

He caught her. Of course, he’d catch her. While he was arguably more stubborn than she was, Alexander knew there was a time and place for silent treatments and with her this intoxicated -- he’d rather not just sit by and let her get hurt. So, he tugged a stool over with the toe of his boots and sit her back down, hands on her hips to make sure she stayed put. “You know, I can just ask the bartender, so you might as well tell me and if you want we can go back to not talking tomorrow. Alright?”

[alexxollivander]

“If you’re going to do the dishes, at least make sure they’re clean before you put it in the drainer!” @dudesquad

[alexxollivander]

valcarrow:

“i didn’t ask for a lecture, bartender——i asked for another drink; sans the judgement, t h a n k s.”

“--Go on, I’ll take care of her.” Alex mumbled, motioning for him to go get the drink as he sat next to her. “If you ask me, I think you need to be judged a little bit. How much have you had?”

[alexxollivander]

rjhcghes:

                “ I DIDN’T FALL. I dropped my hairband, ” RJ corrected, steeling her expression in an attempt to maintain as much dignity as she could. “ And now… I’m putting my hair in a ponytail. Because I found my hairband. So. Great talk. ” 

“Looks like you fell on your ass to me.” Alex shook his head, not putting any effort into not laughing at her spill. “That hairband was on your wrist the whole time. Oh come on, I’ve seen worse. You have other embarrassing moments -- this doesn’t even make top ten.”

[ryanaguzmanfanpage]

Photo by Marc Cartwright

[falldown-getupagain]

[na-trip]