Ok still not over chapter 22 and here's why. I'm going to use Schneider as a baseline. Spoilers for 3.7 onward
Schneider accepted her fate and decided to spend her last moments with her sister, Vertin, and the gang. She was reversed while in Vertin's arms and said her last goodbyes.
Merel fought to stay until the bitter end. She was so desperate. She didn't want to go. She begged Vertin not to leave her behind. She endured immense pain until her final moments as she struggled through the Storm. Part of her wanted to believe she'd make it because she wasn't the same weak coward as before. She had a whole arc and wanted to see Marsha, Charon, and the others because she was proud of who'd she become. She was reversed midsentence in front of Vertin just outside the library. They locked eyes with each other other moments before Merel disappeared as she reached out to Vertin.
Would she have made it if she didn't hesitate in the beginning? We'll never know. Merel, my beloved guard, is gone now and she WASN'T READY.
Reversal is always tragic but the desperation, the futile struggle, the false hope, it's KILLING ME. I put together that Merel would get Reversed before it happened, but the way it happened is haunting me.
What's even worse is that Rhiannon is a version of Merel that wouldn't have hesitated. She's confident, ready to fight Vertin and Sonetto to protect the location of her bird sanctuary, and has great arcane abilities. She's what Merel could have been had the foundation not gotten their hands on her. Rhiannon is a tragedy of absence being not just a reminder of Merel's loss, but also all that she could not be.

















