Young Mommy & Wife

What the fuck am I doing?

[i-love-my-airman]

While your SO is away

FOCUS ON YOU! While your SO is focusing on their job, tech school, or training; take time to also focus on what is important to you.

Study a lot more for schooling Go out with your friends more often Find a job and make money Start an art project Workout

Trust me, you will feel a lot better if you find things to keep you busy rather then just sitting around waiting.

Don’t get me wrong, you need to communicate with your SO as much as possible, but don’t make that your main focus.

[milsotherapy]

🙌🏽

[wiltedmagentadaisy-deactivated2]

Inner thoughts;

I wish I lived in an area where there were a bunch of hole-in-the-wall diners and cafés that I could go to and just sit with a coffee and a book and just disappear. Not forever, just a brief moment. As much as I love being a mother and wife I really do miss my me time. I’ve become so comfortable with the routine of this life and not having many friends here that I feel scared almost guilty to go out on my own. It’s strange how much and a change in environment can change you.

[alicia-sawyer]

Thoughts

I need to start reading again. I miss going into a alternate universe and forgetting the real world.

[egaandpearls]

When someone says “Long distance relationships never work out.”

[milsolifeblog]

ugh that’s definitely a pet peeve of mine lol

[chertovskii]

[alicia-sawyer]

How I felt about today

[alicia-sawyer]

My lamb baby

[dephus]

[alicia-sawyer]

Anxiety

Ughhhhh. Two weeks is going to go by so fast. Why.

[worshipgifs]

[yourfashionfairy]

[alicia-sawyer]

Yaaaas.

[alicia-sawyer]

G'night from my favorite boys 😍

[alicia-sawyer]

Blooper 😂

[alicia-sawyer]

Learning as I go

Sometimes, I look too much into depth of my feelings rather than Sams’. And sometimes, I look to him for so much comfort that I forget he looks to me for the same thing. After about an hour and a half of tears, and his indecisiveness, I realized that I am going to have to be the ring leader in this relationship while he’s on deployment. He looks to me for comfort in knowing the future, and knowing that we are going to be okay. It’s hard sometimes to remember that he’s hurting too. So I will work my damn ass off, physically and mentally to make this work for not only me but for us, and stop thinking that he needs to pull his weight too. It’s not a battle of who can love who more, it’s just about love and making it work. There are going to be times when we are just barely making it through. Then there will be times when we have more than we’ve expected. But through those ups and downs, I plan to be by my man’s side. Through thick and thin. We’re in this together. 

[alicia-sawyer]

Still believe this.

[alicia-sawyer]

Leaving

I’m having to leave my husband behind in Virginia while my son and I ‘move back home to New York due to financial troubles. It’s going to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, but I know that we have to make the sacrifice to help us in the end. The hardest part is taking my one month old son with me, and we will only be able to see my husband once every two months. It breaks my heart. How do you cope?

[alicia-sawyer]

Rowen James One month old.

[alicia-sawyer]

Struggles.

Okay, so I read this blog of a mom who said shit when she was pregnant about the type of mom she was going to be versus the type she is now. I found it hysterical and completely accurate. I thought I would do the same. So here we go. 1. Moms who feed their babies formula; are lazy and selfish. Okay, so this one sounds harsh, and to a point I still believe this. If you don't have a medical condition that doesn't allow you to breast feed, then you should. It's free and it's the best thing for your baby. I find it so ignorant when woman say they won't breastfeed because it'll ruin their boobs. Like what. 2. I'll sleep when he sleeps. So beyond false. False, false, false. I can't sleep knowing I have ten pounds of laundry, vacuuming and dishes to do. I'll be lucky if o get one nap through the day. 3. You'll be so in love once you see him. This some what was true. At the same time I had a horrible case of baby blues that I thought was going to turn into postpartum depression. I cried for two weeks straight about not being ready to be a mom and my husband going out to sea. I loved him most definitely, however, I also wasn't ready. 4. He'll sleep in his crib/bassinet. He only will sleep in our bed, and touching me or my husband. I want sleep. Therefore, he sleeps with us. Every. Single. Night. 5. I won't let him cry it out. Yet another lie to myself. I struggle with even letting him fuss but when I need a shower or a shit, I let him cry. Sorry Rowen. 6. My husband will help. This is the biggest lie I've ever told myself. My husband and I are only 21. He still us some kid in him so I shouldn't be surprised that when he gets home from work he wants to play Xbox. Sometimes I feel like such a single parent it's ridiculous but at the same time, he helps when I really need him to or need some sanity. 7. I'll use The Honest Company bundle. Fuck that. So expensive. I'm sure there's more but I can't think of it due to lack of sleep and coffee. *Yes I drink coffee and breast feed. No, my son isn't affected by it at all.