Shmoop

Everything and anything I like goes here

[theintrovertnation]

I’m an open book, but written in a cryptic dead language.

[animatedtext]

[situationalzodiac]

not taking constructive criticism because nothing can improve this 

[darning-socks]

you learn to take the little victories

[ilarual-archive]

I always got very excited when it would spell out ACDC

[badassthugmc]

OMG SAME FOR BOTH

[liquid-pie]

I always got very afraid when it was the same letter 4 times in a row

[neuralactivity]

when I was 4 or 5, my mom was a prof at a college and she used to hand me the scantron sheet before she wrote the exam and let me colour whatever lettered bubble i wanted for each answer. if i coloured two by accident, she made an ‘all of the above’ option. one time she gave me it and i coloured the ‘a’ bubble for each of the 130 questions except for the second last one and she just went with it later on, she told me that it was the most entertaining exam she had ever watched her students take

[cynntastic]

[you-had-me-at-e-flat-major]

politics exam but the answers are all in acab order

[dooflizard]

these are so funny, especially because i don’t notice that stuff until the very end when i’m out of time and can’t do anything about it and it’s like, “sus, but not enough”

[disabledfabian]

some dnd backstory ideas that give your character a reason to leave home that isn’t “everyone in my family died.” (just to say: i have nothing against those backstories (i use them a lot), but its fun to mix it up!)

family/friends/personal

someone close to you is sick. you need to adventure to find a cure

someone stole something important from you and you need to find it

you’ve received a message from a long lost relative and are trying to find them

someone that you love has been kidnapped (maybe you have to earn money to pay a ransom or complete some deed…)

adventuring runs in the family! everyone is expected to complete one quest in their lives

your family/culture sends people out to complete certain tasks when they reach a certain age as a rite of passage

another player’s character saved you in the past so you feel indebted to them and travel with them, protecting/aiding them

there’s a magical drought in your hometown and you have to fix it

your hometown doesn’t have a lot of jobs so you have to travel and send money back home

some childhood friends and you made a “scavenger hunt” where you try and complete a checklist of certain tasks (ie. defeat a barbarian in hand to hand combat, steal x amount of gold, slay a dragon, etc) in an allotted amount of time

quests/jobs

a god/patron has sent you on a quest to do something for them

you’ve been hired by someone to complete a task (and you get sucked into the big adventure along the way)

you’re on a quest for knowledge. maybe it’s to learn the best ways of fighting, maybe it’s something more academic related

your priest received a vision from your god and they sent you on a quest

you’re writing a book about the world and different cultures and you need first hand experience

you’ve found every map you’ve come across is shitty, so you decide to become a cartographer and make your own

you’re a detective who helps solve crimes and need to travel to solve a particular case

you’re a collector of a certain object and travel across the land to find it

you’re apart of an adventuring academy and have to complete a quest to graduate

you’re an artisan and you travel with your wares, trying to sell them. alternatively, you’re trying to spread word of your business and gain new business partners

you worked at a tavern your whole life where an old bard would sing songs of their adventuring party and that inspired you to go and do some adventuring of your own

feel free to add some of your own!

[probablyqueerrpgideas]

you just learned how shitty the world is and damnit somebody’s gotta fix it

you did something embarrassing and need to get the hell out of dodge

you’re taking a gap year

your arch nemesis is dying and you need to call them a bitch one last time before you go

hrt is free in a certain monastery

you met your significant other on fantasy tinder but they live across the kingdom

you’ve heard humans have this thing called “djinn Der” and you want to know what that’s all about

resume building

[bookenders]

you’re adventuring to save up enough money to hire a wizard to cast True Polymorph on you because you wanna be a dragon, damnit

your friend got super drunk and stumbled into a random teleportation circle and you were the only sober one at the party so you have to go find them

you want that super powerful dude’s sword and will do anything to get it

you wanna get swole by hitting lots of different things with very large hammers

you want to prove the arrogant bard who told that super incorrect story in your tavern wrong by bringing them the evidence yourself

you read someone’s biography and want to imitate their life ultra-fan style

you found a message in a bottle asking you on a date

you want to find somewhere where your allergies will be less annoying but no one knows where that is so you have to find it for yourself

you really really want to see a volcano

you heard about another culture’s food and are desperate to try it

you’re interning with/shadowing a professional adventurer before you set off on your own

spite

[druzydabbles]

^^^ Really like the spite one so here’s some more detailed specifics pertaining to it:

Your magic/craft is really unconventional and no one thinks it’s useful so you head out on an adventure to prove them all wrong

You made a bet with your sibling/friend that you can find and kill a dragon/some other big monster

Honestly any bets of unlikely magnitudes are very fun

Your (possibly ex) god/patron told you a problem can only be solved one way and you don’t want to do it that way and you think there’s another way so hey, guess who’s being a rebellious child?

There’s a legendary recipe (potion or legitimately baking/cooking) that requires incredibly rare, hard-to-procure ingredients and no one thinks it’s possible to be made. Guess who’s doing it

Yeah sure everyone may think the world is bleh but that doesn’t mean you’re not gonna go and and spread kindness to counter it

Or maybe you think the world needs… less good. Maniacal laughter time

Spite is very fun

[helloitsbees]

boredom

[aidashakur]

[imposer]

[kendallroy-deactivated20210425]

what we’re NOT gonna do is let the bluechecks back in. the doors to this abandoned clown factory are LOCKED SHUT

[kendallroy-deactivated20210425]

[doggendoodle]

this post had 800 notes 5 minutes ago

[ruimtetijd]

How do we bully celebrities off the site

[calxe-deactivated20231217]

spam john greene copypasta in their inbox

[verylostpenguin]

It’s my grandpa’s birthday next week and he said “I don’t want to be 85” and my grandmother, his wife of 59 and a half years, said “well your only alternative is to die”, I can’t believe how affectionate they are

[verylostpenguin]

I was having lunch with them today and my grandpa started throwing napkins at my grandmother, and she balled it up and looked all set to throw it back but then she put it down and said “I will not throw it because I was brought up properly, you were dragged” she has spent ¾ of her life with this man

[verylostpenguin]

I thought I’d let you know how they’ve been getting on during lockdown, so here’s some of the FaceTime conversation from today:

“My goodness, the way technology is advancing - in 20 years we’ll be able to shake hands through the screen!”

“Rex, I don’t think we’ll be here in 20 years.”

“Well you make your own plans, I shall only be 109.”

[vikingofficial-deactivated20241]

Omg I took the Covid vaccine and now my dick looks bigger?? Anybody else experience this?

[robosucka]

I'm a healthcare worker and getting the vaccine gave me D cups

[foreverfeminist-deactivated2016]

All women are forced to live under an arbitrary and unfair system which sorts us into the categories of “Fuckable” and “Worthless.” The solution to this is NOT to expand the definition of “Fuckable.”

[rynofpentacles]

“All women are beautiful” is a cute sentiment and all but it’s ultimately the wrong one. All women are valuable, all women are people, whether you can be generous enough to find unconventional beauty in their appearance or not.

[angelsaxis]

This game is a fucking joke I swear

[orchidvioletindigo]

It's actually even worse than that:

When they said "You can make a trans/nonbinary/intersex character" what they MEANT was "You can put a big ol' dick (no micropenises though!) on a person with an hourglass figure, you can slap a palatable pussy on someone with sculpted pecs and washboard abs, and you can assign a pronoun set to them that coordinates with the voice they would have if they were a cis perisex drag performer"

[shitpostempire]

[captainkirk94-deactivated201903]

Why did this happen

[just-shower-thoughts]

The only real monster in Scooby-Doo is a talking dog.

[just-shower-thoughts]

There’s a 95% chance that if a character coughs during a movie, they’ll be dead by the end of it.

[onlytwitterpics]

[onyasideburnss]

Me

[academicssay]