I’m an open book, but written in a cryptic dead language.
hello vonnie
Keni

★

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Discoholic 🪩

Janaina Medeiros

⁂
Claire Keane
will byers stan first human second

if i look back, i am lost
we're not kids anymore.
ojovivo
sheepfilms
DEAR READER
Misplaced Lens Cap
i don't do bad sauce passes
styofa doing anything
Cosmic Funnies

Andulka

shark vs the universe
seen from United States

seen from South Korea

seen from United States

seen from Germany
seen from Germany

seen from Slovakia

seen from Germany
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seen from Canada

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seen from Türkiye
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@alis75k
I’m an open book, but written in a cryptic dead language.
not taking constructive criticism because nothing can improve this
you learn to take the little victories
I always got very excited when it would spell out ACDC
OMG SAME FOR BOTH
I always got very afraid when it was the same letter 4 times in a row
when I was 4 or 5, my mom was a prof at a college and she used to hand me the scantron sheet before she wrote the exam and let me colour whatever lettered bubble i wanted for each answer. if i coloured two by accident, she made an ‘all of the above’ option. one time she gave me it and i coloured the ‘a’ bubble for each of the 130 questions except for the second last one and she just went with it later on, she told me that it was the most entertaining exam she had ever watched her students take
politics exam but the answers are all in acab order
these are so funny, especially because i don’t notice that stuff until the very end when i’m out of time and can’t do anything about it and it’s like, “sus, but not enough”
some dnd backstory ideas that give your character a reason to leave home that isn’t “everyone in my family died.” (just to say: i have nothing against those backstories (i use them a lot), but its fun to mix it up!)
family/friends/personal
someone close to you is sick. you need to adventure to find a cure
someone stole something important from you and you need to find it
you’ve received a message from a long lost relative and are trying to find them
someone that you love has been kidnapped (maybe you have to earn money to pay a ransom or complete some deed…)
adventuring runs in the family! everyone is expected to complete one quest in their lives
your family/culture sends people out to complete certain tasks when they reach a certain age as a rite of passage
another player’s character saved you in the past so you feel indebted to them and travel with them, protecting/aiding them
there’s a magical drought in your hometown and you have to fix it
your hometown doesn’t have a lot of jobs so you have to travel and send money back home
some childhood friends and you made a “scavenger hunt” where you try and complete a checklist of certain tasks (ie. defeat a barbarian in hand to hand combat, steal x amount of gold, slay a dragon, etc) in an allotted amount of time
quests/jobs
a god/patron has sent you on a quest to do something for them
you’ve been hired by someone to complete a task (and you get sucked into the big adventure along the way)
you’re on a quest for knowledge. maybe it’s to learn the best ways of fighting, maybe it’s something more academic related
your priest received a vision from your god and they sent you on a quest
you’re writing a book about the world and different cultures and you need first hand experience
you’ve found every map you’ve come across is shitty, so you decide to become a cartographer and make your own
you’re a detective who helps solve crimes and need to travel to solve a particular case
you’re a collector of a certain object and travel across the land to find it
you’re apart of an adventuring academy and have to complete a quest to graduate
you’re an artisan and you travel with your wares, trying to sell them. alternatively, you’re trying to spread word of your business and gain new business partners
you worked at a tavern your whole life where an old bard would sing songs of their adventuring party and that inspired you to go and do some adventuring of your own
feel free to add some of your own!
you just learned how shitty the world is and damnit somebody’s gotta fix it
you did something embarrassing and need to get the hell out of dodge
you’re taking a gap year
your arch nemesis is dying and you need to call them a bitch one last time before you go
hrt is free in a certain monastery
you met your significant other on fantasy tinder but they live across the kingdom
you’ve heard humans have this thing called “djinn Der” and you want to know what that’s all about
resume building
you’re adventuring to save up enough money to hire a wizard to cast True Polymorph on you because you wanna be a dragon, damnit
your friend got super drunk and stumbled into a random teleportation circle and you were the only sober one at the party so you have to go find them
you want that super powerful dude’s sword and will do anything to get it
you wanna get swole by hitting lots of different things with very large hammers
you want to prove the arrogant bard who told that super incorrect story in your tavern wrong by bringing them the evidence yourself
you read someone’s biography and want to imitate their life ultra-fan style
you found a message in a bottle asking you on a date
you want to find somewhere where your allergies will be less annoying but no one knows where that is so you have to find it for yourself
you really really want to see a volcano
you heard about another culture’s food and are desperate to try it
you’re interning with/shadowing a professional adventurer before you set off on your own
spite
^^^ Really like the spite one so here’s some more detailed specifics pertaining to it:
Your magic/craft is really unconventional and no one thinks it’s useful so you head out on an adventure to prove them all wrong
You made a bet with your sibling/friend that you can find and kill a dragon/some other big monster
Honestly any bets of unlikely magnitudes are very fun
Your (possibly ex) god/patron told you a problem can only be solved one way and you don’t want to do it that way and you think there’s another way so hey, guess who’s being a rebellious child?
There’s a legendary recipe (potion or legitimately baking/cooking) that requires incredibly rare, hard-to-procure ingredients and no one thinks it’s possible to be made. Guess who’s doing it
Yeah sure everyone may think the world is bleh but that doesn’t mean you’re not gonna go and and spread kindness to counter it
Or maybe you think the world needs… less good. Maniacal laughter time
Spite is very fun
boredom
what we’re NOT gonna do is let the bluechecks back in. the doors to this abandoned clown factory are LOCKED SHUT
this post had 800 notes 5 minutes ago
How do we bully celebrities off the site
spam john greene copypasta in their inbox
It’s my grandpa’s birthday next week and he said “I don’t want to be 85” and my grandmother, his wife of 59 and a half years, said “well your only alternative is to die”, I can’t believe how affectionate they are
I was having lunch with them today and my grandpa started throwing napkins at my grandmother, and she balled it up and looked all set to throw it back but then she put it down and said “I will not throw it because I was brought up properly, you were dragged” she has spent ¾ of her life with this man
I thought I’d let you know how they’ve been getting on during lockdown, so here’s some of the FaceTime conversation from today:
“My goodness, the way technology is advancing - in 20 years we’ll be able to shake hands through the screen!”
“Rex, I don’t think we’ll be here in 20 years.”
“Well you make your own plans, I shall only be 109.”
Omg I took the Covid vaccine and now my dick looks bigger?? Anybody else experience this?
I'm a healthcare worker and getting the vaccine gave me D cups
All women are forced to live under an arbitrary and unfair system which sorts us into the categories of “Fuckable” and “Worthless.” The solution to this is NOT to expand the definition of “Fuckable.”
“All women are beautiful” is a cute sentiment and all but it’s ultimately the wrong one. All women are valuable, all women are people, whether you can be generous enough to find unconventional beauty in their appearance or not.
This game is a fucking joke I swear
It's actually even worse than that:
When they said "You can make a trans/nonbinary/intersex character" what they MEANT was "You can put a big ol' dick (no micropenises though!) on a person with an hourglass figure, you can slap a palatable pussy on someone with sculpted pecs and washboard abs, and you can assign a pronoun set to them that coordinates with the voice they would have if they were a cis perisex drag performer"
Why did this happen
The only real monster in Scooby-Doo is a talking dog.
There’s a 95% chance that if a character coughs during a movie, they’ll be dead by the end of it.