lobster kin

i talk in the tags • no i can’t read

[ruimtetijd]

me: *emerges from the shower, red bc i like to boil in the shower*

someone: holy shit what happened??

me: lobster kin

[invertebrateinvert]

[villainessbian]

Making incredible progress in forcefem technology.

[mellifexfarm]

bring your ugly to work day

[mothnem]

LEAVE THE BABY ALONE!

[momo-y0te]

The word pussy has never referred to female genitalia when describing someone who is timid and cowardly by the way. It comes from the word pusillanimous. I’m begging Twitter feminists to stop tittering smugly about how they do this ultra feminist girlboss role reversal thing where they call men ballsacks because those are the more fragile set of parts. “Pussy” was never talking about your body parts. You are the only ones doing that. You are making the biggest fools of yourselves please stop

[brosef-von-dudehomie]

Also a more vulgar way of calling someone a scaredy cat, because pussy is also a word for cat, a species known for being easily frightened and overreacting.

[ruimtetijd]

how do you eat kiwis

scoop out insides, leave skin uneaten

bite into it like an apple, skin and all

Remaining time: 6 days 17 hours

[pangur-and-grim]

I was so baffled by this until I remembered that I use my kettle, and so it looks like I'm pouring boiling water on my plants

[pangur-and-grim]

[bunjywunjy]

Do you know of any arachnids who ventured towards carcinisation?

no because the term "carcinization" was created to describe the tendency for marine decapod crustaceans to convergently evolve crab-like body plans, it was never supposed to be applicable to other animals!

I blame pop science for spreading it around as a funny term that got misunderstood and misapplied basically from that point onward. most other animal groups don't get their own term for this phenomena and carcinization does NOT apply because... these animals aren't evolving into crabs. only decapods do that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(decapods are the marine crustacean group with ten legs- true crabs, lobsters, hermit crabs, robber crabs, mantis shrimp, prawns, slipper lobsters, and all of their infinite assorted relatives in the deep blue sea)

[laurasinele]

give us back carcinization, bunjy. first warning.

[bunjywunjy]

one more word from you and no dessert tonight

[probuccalfat]

stop inventing shit to be insecure about oh my god

[probuccalfat]

like i’m actually so sick of it i’m two days from pulling my hair out and screaming in the walmart parking lot about how fake the constructs of our society are like you don’t have to do any of this shit you can have a fine and content life doing shit the way you want to do it oh my GOD you don’t need to have glass skin or have a 6 figure salary or try to find a house in the city or have a baby or try to get a promotion or whatever the hell else people told you makes for a happy life you can work at the library or pool forever if it makes you happy you can be single forever if it makes you happy have whatever the fuck kind of skin or hair or clothes you like having on your body have whatever the fuck kind of body you want this shit is MADE UP!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE ALLOWED TO BE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU HAVE AND NOT CONTINUALLY STRIVE FOR MORE AND MORE!!!!!!!!!

[diosapate]

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[mushbeast]

My Child

[thecrumbez]

Happy Pride Month to those two women dancing together in the foreground of the boat scene in Godzilla (1954).

I’m sorry your romantic foibles were overshadowed by a big ass atomic lizard thing.

[erratic-dragon-fruit]

out of the tags with you

[makingsenseofwhathappened]

Friday Advice

log off enter river of choice become unbothered mammal

[luetta]

abortion clicker early game : you click the belly 50 times in order to perform one abortion. this lets you buy a doctor who performs 0.1 abortions a second.

abortion clicker mid game: you own hundreds of clinics as well as think-tanks which dismantle sex ed courses as well as politicians which strengthen pro choice institutions

abortion clicker late game: the solar system’s resources have been stripped to build a dyson sphere which incubates trillions of humans for the sole purpose of performing abortions on them. once we achieve hyperspace travel, other stars will power superintelligent machines which will simulate octillions of abortion a second

[spel16]

[godkissedme]

It’s important to me that my nonsense remain high quality

[eldr1tch-cr0w]

number one rule! never believe ur thoughts after 10 pm . unless its about The Character then believe all of your thoughts wholeheartedly

[moghedien]

I feel like I need to share this because idk if Europeans are familiar with the presence of Aldi in the US, but at least especially in my area they’ve been growing a lot recently. Like Aldi bought out some local failing grocery chains where I live (Louisiana) and have opened Aldis in all these somewhat rural communities and small towns, which for the record I’m fine with

But as a result of this they are advertising a lot more in my area and also in many cases, the people in these areas have never been confronted with Aldi or any European grocery store. So the ads that Aldi is pushing out to its new US customer base feature a cowboy shopping at Aldi who is explaining to new Aldi customers how Aldi works. Like this cowboy is explaining you gotta put a quarter in the shopping cart and why there are very little name brands. A cowboy is how they want to reach their American customer base. They gave us a cowboy

[moghedien]

Here he is, the Aldi Cowboy

[odin-seeker-of-knowledge]

Wait till i tell you that Trader Joe's is ALDI too.

But that requires some explanation. ALDI stands for Albrecht Discount, because it was founded by 2 brothers Karl and Theo Albrecht. They took over their mother's convenience store in 1945 and focused on conservable items which meant not needing a cold chain and they also aggressively cut items that were underperfoming. This was quite a hit in war ravaged west Germany and in 1950 had 13 stores in west Germany and in 1960 they had over 300.

It was at this point that the brothers had a dispute about the sale of cigarettes. Ofcourse the harmful effects of smoking weren't known (by the public) in 1960. So what was the dispute about? Cigarettes were going to be the most expensive item in their stores by a long shot and Karl thought that it would encourage theft whereas his brother didn't think it be that large am issue.

This dispute proved irreconcilable and they decided to split the stores north to south creating two companies ALDI Nord and ALDI Süd.

ALDI Süd was the first to make their way into America and claimed the Copyright ALDI. So when ALDI Nord expanded overseas they couldn't call themselves ALDI so they bought up a local chain called Trader Joe's and operated under that name ever since, although they did keep most of the corporate structure intact.

But that's why there's 2 ALDI's and why ALDI Nord goes under Trader Joe's in the US.

Ohh extra tidbit, the owner of ALDI Nord, Theo was once kidnapped and held ransome for 7 million marks (at the time 2 million USD). The two kidnappers were arrested during a sting operation helped by the then Bishop of Essen (so I guess that's check mate), but roughly half the money was never recovered.

Theo then went into a legal dispute with the German government arguing that the ransome was effectively a business expense and as such tax deductible. The German government ruled against it.