Allie

MTF timeline blog of a girl who is now 46 and 9+ years on hrt

[alisonmae23]

Let’s ride!

[alisonmae23]

Some recent new outfits I figured I’d share. It’s been a long time since I’ve posted on here. I hope you all are doing well❤️

[alisonmae23]

Summer clothes my daughter says I'm too old for 😂

[alisonmae23]

[alisonmae23]

Finally spring is here!

[alisonmae23]

Sometimes you need to look at your reflection to realize how far you've come. I went to the beginning of my blog and it's been some miles in this journey. Thank you to everyone who follows me, and your comments. You do make a difference in my life.

[alisonmae23]

Just a couple couch selfies letting everyone know I'm doing alright.

[alisonmae23]

Been Straight Guy is it ok to fall in for Transwoman ??

Absolutely. Treat her with care and love just like any other woman. If she feels the same for you may you both have happiness together.

[alisonmae23]

16 months of HRT and all I can say is it’s been amazing. I know they say “your mileage may very” and I am very thankful for the great fortune I have had. I wish every girl on their journey luck and happiness. Be true to yourself and let everything else follow.❤️

[alisonmae23]

Scrolling down to find out when I really did smile. 16 months I really did smile. Now days I try and it comes off as a smirk. I talked to a cis woman my age the other day on a dating app. She was really reserved, she had been hurt by many and I could sympathize with her. I looked at her pictures and her smile was the same as mine. It's not a conceited smirk. It's not smug. It's emotional pain to the point that your face is tense from it. I miss my smile. Being a woman is difficult trans or cis. Passing or not, pretty or not we all face challenges one way or the other. I'm not looking for sympathy. For those in the beginning I am letting you know to be prepared for pain even few years in. Beauty and passing does not solve all your problems, it just adds new ones. Beauty vanishes and posting selfies is fun in the beginning but now, I just want someone else to hold the camera, and some context to the memory. I know in time this will come. 16 months you can see an innocent young girl excited about progress and possibilities, and my recent pics, a 40 yo woman just as intended. Anyhow.. Just know this journey is not easy and is full of sacrifices. Most important though, you are not alone.

[alisonmae23]

3.5 years hrt and 40 years old.

May you find friends and love on your journey of life.

[alisonmae23]

Hey, How did you know you were trans? Was it a gut feeling or something you spent a long time thinking about? I think I might be but I really don't know as I haven't had any experience with this.

It was a gut feeling as far as I could remember, usually when I looked in a mirror or when dealing with gym class and the toxic masculinity of it all as a teen. It gradually got louder and then I couldn't stop thinking about it. It was when I realized I wasn't alone and I could go on hrt that I made the decision. And by decision really there wasn't one, it didn't matter the consequence.

I still get triggered memories of certain things that confirm what I didn't understand in my youth. Things like watching my oldest daughter play volleyball or cheer. Then recalling how I wanted nothing to do with sports in school as a boy. I remember wishing I could play girls volleyball or being a pretty cheerleader. Not because I was sexually attracted to them but because I felt inside I was one of them. They interacted with each other so differently, in a way I felt comfortable with.

I felt like an alien because I was in the wrong body. That's the best way I can describe it. I felt awkward until I could be me.

[alisonmae23]

[alisonmae23]

I took myself camping. It was just me and my friend bird.

[alisonmae23]

[alisonmae23]

Nice day 3.5 years of hrt. At almost 37 I couldn't wait no longer, everything I read was it was too late. I didn't care, if my body didn't change I would stop, if I couldn't pass I'd roll with who I was. I had no idea and socially things changed as my body changed, my life changed, people see me different and it's been an adjustment. There has been a lot of pain regardless of results. You do lose some of your loved ones. You do often feel alone. It takes time to restructure your life. It's part of the journey. But if you feel you need to do this difficult task to be the real you, you are never too old. I am 40 now and my life is just starting. I am thankful. I don't take these pictures and post out of vanity, I post them to show how I have changed from the start of this blog. It is a timeline for all to see. I wish you well on your journey. Always be aware that YMMV and never compare your progress to others. It is a personal walk.

[alisonmae23]

I've gave him plenty of kisses, but he never turned into a prince. His love though is unconditional. He will always be my baby boy.

[alisonmae23]

Nothing special just sitting on the back porch. It's been a peaceful night. I can smile 😁