Allegra Degray

in every possible version of reality, she is simply one soul searching for her mate. he is a man with stunning blue eyes, perfect curls and a devastatingly beautiful smile. he is the moon to her sun and the calm to her chaos.she will always find him. she will always know him. & she will always love him.( a single muse blog written by meg. )

[joe-lambe]

Shit, she was smart. She knew better. Maybe that was why she was here, the smart ones always thought that they were above the law, above whatever they had done. They justify it, they say that what they did was good - and that's what made them the most difficult to treat.

He looked away when she mentioned the electroshock therapy and he shook his head.

He hadn't known about that when he had been hired and he knew that it went on with his patients behind his back. But he was just a hire, he had to follow their rules and not make a noise or else they'd throw him out.

He knew that the was probably not the light that he wanted to be for his patients, but... he didn't want to be another faceless person.

"Art."

Joe looked up at her as he answered her question.

"My other used to be an artist and so I use art for my patients - at least I used to, there are... restrictions here." He looked away from her, considering his position once again. "Otherwise the only torture you'll get from me is one hour of talking to me every other day."

[allegradegray]

Allegra waited for the dumbing down again, because if there was one thing that Allegra Degray understood, it was people. So she knew that no one in their right mind would openly admit to conducting unethical experiments on their patients.

But her family was in tight with the top warden of this place. She knew exactly what happened here, and why she was sent here and not Blackgate. Her uncle wanted to keep her quiet, to make her seem insane so no one would listen to a word she'd say so he could take her family business out from under her...

Art.

Allegra's eyes widened and her gaze softened a bit. She remembered when she was three years old, sitting on her mothers lap in front of a canvas, fingers hands with paint, giggling as she spread her hands all over the white canvas and her mother's laugh.

"Sorry," she said softly as she came back to reality and wiped a tear away. She took a breath and looked at the doctor.

"I'm sorry... what was your name again?"

[joe-lambe]

"Right," he said, as he looked down at her incomplete file, and he searched his pocket for a pen to realize that he hadn't brought one in. That's right, they didn't let them have pens in case their patients (inmates) decided to use it against them.

He looked down.

"So..." he said, trying to remember what his job was. "You've been here a week. Pretty difficult time, adjusting is something that takes people some time to do. How are you managing?"

It was a stupid question, going from a world where you were free to one where you were watched at every single instance was more than difficult, was more than something that people could 'manage'. And Joe sighed inwardly at himself.

He had wanted to help but he was too tired of the pretence already.

[allegradegray]

How are you managing?

The cookie cutter line of questioning did nothing to ease Allegra's worries. What if this guy was just as incompetent as the guards? It wouldn't surprise her. It was better that everyone was ineffective. The employees here didn't care if you got better or not, if you were alive or dead. None of it mattered to them.

So they didn't matter to her. And once she got out, she was gonna make 'em pay. Every last one of them.

"How am I managing," Allegra repeated as she shifted in her seat as much as her restraints would allow. "How am I adjusting? In a place that markets itself as a mental health facility to help rehabilitate the 'criminally insane' but is really a fucking torture chamber? Yeah, I'm having loads of fun. I'm especially looking forward to the electroshock therapy. Seems like a real blast."

She squinted her eyes a bit and leaned back in her chair.

"What is your experiment of choice, doc? What form of torture do you prefer? I'd like to know what I'm getting into, if it's all the same to you."

[allegradegray]

for @joe-lambe (because we deserve villain!joegra)

Billionaire philanthropist, Alexander "Axel" Degray and his wife, Talia, were found dead in their room last night. Police have said it was by suffocation and are looking into this matter...

Allegra could tell you right now that was a full-blown lie from the beginning. Her father was a kingpin, the head of one of the biggest mob families in Arkham. And as his only child, the entire empire would one day be hers. It should've been hers.

But she was framed, jailed for patricide and convicted. There was an overwhelming amount of evidence against her; testimonies from family members that she was "unstable", a judge that was clearly paid off because his mind was made up from the beginning, even though she was innocent. She was asleep when the murder happened. She didn't even know what was going on, but no one believed her.

She was sent to Arkham, put in a cell to rot to only be taken out for shock treatments or god knows what else. Or to eat... and the food was terrible.

A week in, she heard the clanging of her cell door opening and she looked up. Time for your evaluation, the prison guard said. Allegra stood up as the guard cuffed her and led her to a dimly lit room. It looked eerily like the interrogation room at the police precinct; white paint that was chipped and yellowed on the walls, matching tile floors, and the only furniture a metal table with two matching metal chairs on either side. She sat down and she hardly moved as her handcuffs were latched to chains on the table and her feet were cuffed around the ankles in a similar fashion. The guard went to the door and a buzzing sound echoed as he pressed a button. The door opened and he walked through it, and it clanked shut behind him.

[joe-lambe]

Joe didn't watch the news, he thought it perpetuated violence, and besides, his entertainment remained mostly on his work, on his books and what he did. He knew that it wouldn't last, America was different from his hometown, the media was integrated, everything blended in together, and if he wanted to fit in with these places, he had to try everything.

But he could see why television was a great source of distraction. After only a month at Arkham, Joe was very much looking for a distraction, for anything to break him out of the monotony of his days.

"Degray," a voice said, and Joe looked up from his desk to look at Ventris holding out a file. "There's a good case for you."

"Great, we'll schedule something for this afternoon."

"Today," he said. "The guard took her in 20 minutes ago."

"20 minutes?" Joe asked, and he stood up quickly to grab his coat, before a hand shot out and grabbed his arm.

"Careful with this one," he told him. "Don't get too close."

Joe nodded but was really starting to question his position here. He could see that the doctors, the other doctors, were doing the bare minimum. It was more of a hospital that let them free reign to experiment and torture their patients.

This isn't where Joe wanted to be, but he wanted to help, even if it was only for an hour.

"Sorry," he said, as he rushed into the room, reading through the file, without really noticing the woman in it, or the guard outside. He was trying hard to not notice them all, it made it all so much more difficult, but then he remembered how difficult it was for them as well.

Still... his last patient spat at him, the one before that propositioned him, the one before that told him - in detail - how to grill a rack of ribs (that he was sure wasn't entirely from an animal). So he was ready for the worst.

He sat down on the chair opposite her and he scanned through her file, which was a mystery in itself. There was no family history, no childhood history, nothing that Joe needed to evaluate.

Joe frowned and then he looked up at her, "So Miss..."

And his heart skipped a beat at the sight of those eyes, those large eyes staring at him, scared and...

"I'm..." he shook his head, shaking the thought away. "I'm ... I'm Mr. Lambe, I'll be your doctor here for..."

He looked back down to see how long she was in here for, but it didn't say.

"Sorry your files don't seem... complete."

[allegradegray]

Allegra didn't know how long she sat there for. Was this some kind of trick to try to get her to crack? She wasn't sure; all the people who worked here were incompetent assholes, and she was sure that was for a reason.

They didn't give a shit about the people here. It didn't take long for her to learn that the concepts of 'rehabilitation' they liked to spout were just a load of bullshit.

This wasn't just a prison. This was a fucking torture chamber and they weren't going to stop until they broke her.

The door opened and she looked up to see a man rushing through. Okay, so maybe he was actually late. It still didn't mean she wasn't fucking irritated. But she didn't want to make a shitty first impression.

"Probably cause I'm new," Allegra said with a huff. "Got thrown in here last week, and it didn't take me long to realize that most, if not all of the staff here don't care enough to do their jobs correctly. But that's beside the point."

[allegradegray]

for @joe-lambe (because we deserve villain!joegra)

Billionaire philanthropist, Alexander "Axel" Degray and his wife, Talia, were found dead in their room last night. Police have said it was by suffocation and are looking into this matter...

Allegra could tell you right now that was a full-blown lie from the beginning. Her father was a kingpin, the head of one of the biggest mob families in Arkham. And as his only child, the entire empire would one day be hers. It should've been hers.

But she was framed, jailed for patricide and convicted. There was an overwhelming amount of evidence against her; testimonies from family members that she was "unstable", a judge that was clearly paid off because his mind was made up from the beginning, even though she was innocent. She was asleep when the murder happened. She didn't even know what was going on, but no one believed her.

She was sent to Arkham, put in a cell to rot to only be taken out for shock treatments or god knows what else. Or to eat... and the food was terrible.

A week in, she heard the clanging of her cell door opening and she looked up. Time for your evaluation, the prison guard said. Allegra stood up as the guard cuffed her and led her to a dimly lit room. It looked eerily like the interrogation room at the police precinct; white paint that was chipped and yellowed on the walls, matching tile floors, and the only furniture a metal table with two matching metal chairs on either side. She sat down and she hardly moved as her handcuffs were latched to chains on the table and her feet were cuffed around the ankles in a similar fashion. The guard went to the door and a buzzing sound echoed as he pressed a button. The door opened and he walked through it, and it clanked shut behind him.

[joe-lambe]

"It is somewhat like your sea legs but for snow," Joe said, as his eyes landed on a small mechanical device on the other side of the shop.

He had always loved the clock work that went into mechanical devices. He loved the inner workings of machines, and if he had been allowed to do what he wanted to, he would do it constantly in class.

But he knew that it would be impractical.

He turned and began to look around at quills and new inks, eventually finding his way over to her. He had been told that Hogwarts was a gem in the UK, that there were things in Hogsmeade that made it special, but so far, these were all the same things that he would find in any store.

"This is very basic things," he said, not realizing that the shopkeeper was there.

[allegradegray]

"Oh," Allegra said as she turned the phrase over in her mind. She picked out a new ink pot and went over to get some parchment. But she caught him looking at a small mechanical device at the shop.

She watched him look at it with interest and then turned when he went back to get ink and quills.

Allegra heard him speak and she looked at him with a chuckle. "It is a supply store, after all," she said softly. "It isn't exactly the most interesting store. You'll find the same things here that you would at any other supply store. It's why I wanted to stop here first - to get this errand out of the way so we can have some fun and not worry about needing to rush to get supplies before we have to head back."

She looked at him with a small smile and nudged him gently.

"What was that you were looking at a moment ago?"

[allegradegray]

@joe-lambe (continuing this from discord...)

He tried not to imagine the two of them sharing a sled, mostly because he worried he would crush her if they crashed. But he smiled at the thought and looked at her. "perhaps you should get your snow legs first," he said. "Just in case."

"I've never heard that phrase before," Allegra said with a smile as they walked into the supplies store. The smell of fresh parchment and ink wafted through her nostrils and she inhaled the scent before stepping further inside.

"Get your snow legs first... what does that mean," she asked, turning her head to look at him, brow arched in curiosity before turning to pick out a new quill or two. She hated how quickly she went through them, how the nib only got shorter and shorter or it snapped before it got too close to the feather. Maybe she wrote too intensely.

[joe-lambe]

I live!!

[allegradegray]

MY LOVE YOU'RE ALIVE!

[joe-lambe]

Joe headed upstairs with a pudding. He had asked the servants to make one for Allie, not for aby reason other than the fact that they had ingredients and he wanted to give her something sweet.

"Allie kove," he said as he stepped into the room. He lowered his voice, whispering as he saw Celeste sleeping. Snd then he turned to her, and he faltered.

"Love?" He asked as he stepped towards her. "Darling, what's wrong?"

[allegradegray]

Allegra wiped another tear away and she looked over at Joe, a soft sigh leaving her lips. She motioned for him to follow her and she went out of the nursery, closing the door behind them and stepping over into the closest empty room.

"It's the anniversary of my father's death... at least I think it is. All I know is that I get sad around this time. But it's worse this year because..."

Allegra took a deep breath, feeling the tears well up in her eyes.

"Papa would've loved Celeste so much. And it breaks my heart knowing he will never get to see her smile... or hear her laugh..."

[allegradegray]

for @joe-lambe

To think that two years ago, Allegra was being forced into a marriage she thought she didn't want. It took a week or two for them to find a common ground, but they eventually did. It was a marriage filled with joy and love, and no one could take it away from her. And her wicked step-mother certainly tried.

But today she was laden with a feeling she couldn't shake. She had always felt sad around this time. Even as she stared at her beautiful baby girl, asleep in her crib in the afternoon, the melancholy wouldn't leave her.

It was, after all, around this day that her father had passed away suddenly... something she hadn't really been able to mourn until recently. Oh, he would've loved his precious granddaughter. The thought that he would never know Celeste's laugh brought a small tear to her eye and she wiped it away quickly.

[joe-lambe]

He looked at her and nodded.

"Both of my parents," he said, hesitating. "My mother moved to Germany when I was younger."

He did not want to divulge more, he wanted to keep to himself this year, as he did almost every year. But he remembered Stanz wanted him to be sociable.

"Do you reside in France?"

[allegradegray]

"I do," Allegra said with a soft smile, hoping to have at least made one new friend before they arrived at Hogwarts. She figured it would be nice for both of them to have a friend that understood what it would be like to arrive in this new school that they're not used to.

"We live in the countryside, near Lyon. Father works for the Ministry of Magic in France... I think the department's name translates to the International Magical Affairs Coordination Office. He works in the British branch, of course, and he does a lot of work with the British Ministry of Magic. They also work on the exchange programs, so it's how I got my spot here. And mother works for the Bureau of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes. She was an Auror for a time, but the job took her away from me and my father a lot, so she transferred. She says she made the right choice. She likes her current job much better."

Allegra knew she was rambling, but she was nervous for some reason. She just wanted to make a friend... and she didn't want to think about how cute he was.

"What does your mother do?"

[joe-lambe]

Joe looked at the young woman and stood up, holding his hand out.

“Joe Lambe.”

He realised how thick his English accent was at that moment, how perfectly she spoke compared to him. How perfectly she looked in her blue robes compared to his own, although he planned to change into the Hogwarts robes once he got there, he didn’t want to stand out too much already.

His professor gestured for them to sit down, and Joe knew he should start some sort of conversation, but it had never been his strong suit.

He held onto his book, wanting more than anything, to keep reading.

Professor Stanz however, had already begun conversing with Madame Laurent, fascinated with the Charms teacher and how their curriculum differed from Durmstang, and how it would compare to Hogwarts.

“They do not put a lot of pressure in the Dark Arts curriculum,” Stanz continued. “I hope to change that this year.”

[allegradegray]

Allegra smiled and shook his hand before moving to sit down. She looked between Joe and his professor.

"Well, I find Hogwarts sorely lacking in any artistic expression," Madame Laurent lamented. "At Beauxbatons, our students choose to focus on culinary arts, literary arts, performance arts or the studio arts. Allegra chose to focus on the studio arts and I hope that she will be allowed to keep up with her painting while at Hogwarts this year. I will oversee it myself if I have to."

As the adults secretly battled it out over which school was more superior, Allegra turned her focus to Joe.

"Joe Lambe... that's a very English name if you don't mind me saying so," she said with a gentle smile. "But your accent is distinctly German. Are either of your parents English like my father?"

[joe-lambe]

An Exchange

Joe took a deep breath as he got onto the train. His heart raced as he saw all the students running to get compartments and carriages, and he just looked at them all as if alien to him.

"Gehen," his professor said, as he gently nudged Joe down the platform, and they stepped into their compartment and he made a face at the decor. "Hässlich."

His professor continued to mutter about the ugly English compartment, and how the trains and transport to Durmstrang was far superior, in both technology and comfort. But Joe merely sighed and looked out the window.

His English was passable, he had lived here a time with his mother when she had still been married to his muggle father, but they'd managed to escape when they had the chance. Still, he remembered a lot of the language and culture, and so he'd been able to pass the qualifying prerequisites for the exchange program.

Although, it had been a while since he'd been here.

He already felt out of water.

Joe pulled out his book and began to read, as the rest of the train began.

"You will meet your exchange partner soon, a girl from Beauxbatons, needless to say, Mr. Lambe, I want the whole trip to go smoothly, so you get on with this girl -- but not too well, understood?"

"Ja, Professor Stanz."

"And perhaps, practising your English."

Joe thought for a moment, and then replied, "Yes, Professor."

They both turned when they heard the rapid French coming through the door, and Stanz stood up as the door opened, a taller woman smiled at them, but Joe saw the other behind him.

"Ah, Beuxbaton?" Stanz said, his French horrid by the look of the twitch in the woman's eyes. "It is a pleasure to meet you."

@allegradegray

[allegradegray]

"Allegra, you have nothing to be nervous about. Your English is perfection, and you make friends wherever you go..."

"Who said I was nervous?"

Madame Laurent stopped suddenly, Allegra nearly crashing into her in the middle of the aisle. Her professor turned to look at her with a lift of her brow and Allegra cleared her throat. Madame Laurent was a beautiful and frightening woman, and Allegra was more nervous around her than she ever was around here.

"I can see it in your eyes, little one," Laurent said before turning to walk in front of her. Allegra kept her mouth shut and walked behind her, her blue Beauxbatons dress rustling as she moved.

They reached a cabin and the door opened. Allegra saw the older man but her eyes fixed on the younger man sitting in the train cabin.

"We can speak English, sir. I am Madame Laurent, charms professor at Beauxbatons. I'm here to ensure that my pupil has a safe journey to Hogwarts," she said, putting her hand between Allegra's shoulder blades and gently leading her forward.

"Her father grew up in England and is a graduate of Hogwarts, so he has thoroughly prepared Allegra for what to expect when she arrives. She also speaks perfect English and French, though her German is somewhat lacking."

"I tried to practice before today," Allegra offered with a soft smile and she stuck her hand out to the younger man. "I'm Allegra Degray. And you are?"

[joe-lambe]

"Darling," he said, as he held her face. "I can do the maths if you want. I can run the numbers and tell you that... we'll manage. We have enough in savings, we might have to sacrifice a holiday or two, but the girls will be fine - as long as they don't ask for a car anytime soon."

He took a breath.

"As for everything else. Your mum can come up and live with us for a bit so that we can handle everything when the baby comes, she can take care of the girls while we're in the hospital and a little bit after. I have lots of sick days, so I can stay with you a while longer than normal."

He touched her face.

"But none of this matters if you don't think you can do it," he said. "I don't want to put you at risk if you don't feel you can do this. I can't lose you, my love. But if you do, and we do, then we'll have another piece of us running around. With three big sisters that will love them all so much more."

[allegradegray]

Allegra sighed and she leaned in and kissed him softly. "I love you, you know," she said in a soft whisper and she sighed, their forehead pressing against each other's. "I'll make an appointment with my gyno. I'll get their advice and go from there. If they think I'm healthy enough and that there won't be too many risks involved, then we'll have the baby. But if not... well... I know you'll be with me either way."

She ran a hand through his hair and she sniffled.

"And let's not tell the girls about the baby until I know for sure which way I wanna go. For now, just say that mom has the flu. And I think I'm just gonna crawl into bed and stay there for the rest of the day."

[joe-lambe]

He leaned down and kissed her, softly, and he was holding her face.

"We don't have to," he said.

But his heart was full of sorrow as he said it. She was right. They had enough on their hands with three girls, they were run off their feet and this wasn't the plan, the girls were older now and they had wanted the vasectomy to make sure that it was safe for them to do what they wanted without fear of anything.

He'd love another baby.

But it wasn't his choice anymore.

"Darling," he said, as he held her face. "I will agree with what you decide."

[allegradegray]

The kiss calmed her and Allegra looked into Joe's eyes. She sighed and pressed her forehead against his.

There was so much to think about, and she was completely torn on what to do. There were so many reasons for her to go through with the pregnancy, and so many reasons not to. And she didn't know which direction she wanted to go.

"I don't want to make this decision alone," Allegra admitted. "I want to know what you think. You're my husband, and this is your baby too, and even though it is ultimately my decision, what you want still holds weight. I'm just... I'm so torn. And hearing what you think, what you want... it'll help me choose."

[joe-lambe]

He froze when she said it, and his mouth opened and then shut.

"But... h-how?"

But she looked upset and he went to sit with her, pull her into his arms, as they held one another. They'd have to go to the doctor, they'd have to figure this out.

And he didn't know if Allie was happy about this or sad.

They hadn't' wanted any more kids, sure they loved them, but it was so much more difficult. But Joe didn't want to tell her, didn't want her to know, not yet, that when she had said it, just moments before.

He'd been happy.

Because he loved having babies with her, he loved how they loved and he loved his family and the girls. It wasn't part of the plan but plans changed all the time.

He kissed the top of her head, "How are you feeling?"

[allegradegray]

"The usual way," Allegra said, turning her head to look at him as he sat down next to her. "I guess we didn't wait long enough. You were healed, but it takes longer for the vasectomy to actually be effective. We should've used a condom but I think we were too horny to think about it.

Allegra felt awful about her feelings around this. She should be happy - overjoyed! She loved her daughters and she loved being a mother, but even she had to admit that three was a handful. And now they were going to have four?

"I'm... stressed," Allegra admitted and she wiped a tear away. "I mean, I'm in my forties now and I'm pregnant. I'm at more risk of miscarriage, congenital disorders and high blood pressure now. And I'm going to have to go through all of this again after we decided that three was enough. I mean, where are we going to put the crib? In the living room? Oh fuck, and we gave all our baby stuff away to people who needed it, so now we're gonna have to buy all new shit all over again and take all the same classes again and if I have to deal with another tall, blonde, Nordic maternal goddess of a mother in one of those birthing classes, one of those bitches who barely has any symptoms, I might have to go to jail for murder. Like yeah, we get it, you don't have morning sickness! Stop rubbing it in our faces!"

[joe-lambe]

"I love you!" he shouted back, as he headed out to get dinner.

It was weeks later that he realised that it had been a mistake to think that they had been out of the woods in terms of having sex after his procedure.

He'd just gotten back from work, he'd picked up dinner because he knew that Allie would have taken care of the girls after-school things, and was probably tired.

"Hello darlings," Joe said, as he stepped inside.

"Dad! Colette is bossing me around!"

"Mum put me in charge!"

Joe blinked, "Where's your mum?"

"Doesn't mean you get to boss me around!"

"Yes it does!"

"Where's your mum?"

Colette came up to him and he picked her up as the other two fought. "Mama's in the bathroom," she said, as she began to pick through the bag that Joe had brought in.

He gave her a kiss and left her at the table, before snapping his fingers at the girls and pointing.

"Table. Set. Dinner. Now."

They both glared at one another as Joe headed upstairs, he looked in her art room first, then the girls room, and then their bedroom.

"Darling?"

[allegradegray]

Allegra could hear Josie and Celeste fighting, and she knew that Colette was probably sitting there, minding her own business, but she also knew that she didn't have the energy to stop them.

She was sitting on the floor of the master bathroom, leaning against the wall with her knees close to her chest as she held the stick in front of her, the word 'Pregnant' clear as day on the tiny electronic screen. She heard the door unlock and the muffled sound of Joe's voice from downstairs, and tears welled in her eyes. She heard his footsteps, ever so familiar to her, and his voice.

"I'm in here," she called out, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand and sniffling. But when Joe walked into the bathroom, she knew he would see a mess and she exhaled.

"I'm pregnant again."

[joe-lambe]

He smiled as he kissed her and then he held her legs as he began to kiss her soft thighs and legs.

It was later, after they had undressed, lain in bed, gone through their second and third round, that Joe was getting dressed to get dinner for them and the kids.

He leaned down and kissed her gently.

"I'll get dinner, okay my love?" he smiled. "But think about getting dressed before the girls get home."

[allegradegray]

Allegra kissed him back and pouted slightly when Joe pulled away. She looked up at him and sighed. They did need to pick up dinner - the girls would be here within the next thirty minutes, and she needed to shower the smell of sex off of her and get dressed before she saw the girls and her parents.

"Alright," she groaned as she sat up and she kissed him one more time before getting out of bed and heading towards the shower.

"Make it back safely," she called out before starting her shower. "I love you!"