Remus: What—what the hell is this? Did you…with Reg? Regulus? Fuck!
James: Moony! Breathe!
Remus: Don’t you tell me what to do, Prongs. How long has this been going on?
James: Since New Year’s.
Remus: Oh, Merlin! And who knows about this?
James: Literally no one but you. And Peter.
Regulus: And Barty and Evan.
James: Right, and Lily.
Regulus: Oh, and I told Pandora.
James: Aw, I didn’t know that.
Regulus: Yeah, she was really happy for us.
James: Oh, I can’t wait to see her again. She’s really—
Remus: Okay! Shut up, okay? The both of you! I need to think.
James: Please don’t tell Pads!
Remus: Seriously?
James: I haven’t told him yet!
Remus: Oh, gee, James! I’m sorry to interrupt your process of you fondling with Sirius’s dearest brother, but you’re the one who decided to put your dick into the only heir left of the Black family!
Regulus: Technically, if my parents find out I slept with James, I’d be disowned anyway—
Remus: Not talking to you, Reg!















