Words For The Meat Robots!

This page is dedicated to my own self expression. It is a collection of thoughts, feelings, opinions, rants, poetry, etc.. The thoughts and beliefs expressed on this page ARE MINE. Though collected through some research and based on facts, most opinions expressed in this blog are generated through my own thoughts and experiences. You by no means have to agree with anything I share here. By posting anything written by me on this page I am in no way insinuating that my beliefs are "right" or "the only way things should be viewed" rather I am encouraging discussion upon my posts. Everyone is entitled to their views, here are mine, tell me what you think.😊

[allforthegaianmind]

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[allforthegaianmind]

I DID THE THING... 0.0

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even more curious about what i look like below the belt?

just feeling naughty and want something new to gander at?

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[allforthegaianmind]

Been a minute..

I know I haven't been on here in like a year. And it's not like anyone really reads my shit on here anyway so I don't know why I'm bothering to explain myself... I just have a lot of shit to get off my mind and I don't really have anyone to talk to about it... Things are getting dark again and I've been thinking about suicide again a lot lately. Like I know I'm not going to do anything because I have a puppy that loves me and wouldn't understand where I went or why I left... Let's stop there for a second, how wonderful of a life am I living that the only thing stopping me from walking into the woods with a tightly tied noose and finding the tallest tree to climb is the thought of disappointing my dog... Not a loving relationship with my large family that I've always felt out of place in, no meaningful friendships where I feel like me leaving would leave a big enough impact to disrupt their life, no goals or anything in the future to look forward to, nope. Just haven't figured out how to explain to my dog that I just can't take it anymore 😣... Its two months away from the anniversary of the only time I have ever had the balls to actually act on my urges to end my life, and it feels like I'm speeding towards that date as fast as I was going when I intentionally drove my car off the road that night... I'm all shook up because I don't know if I should be ashamed of myself for stooping that low or be proud of myself for acting on the urges that have plagued me for so long. Nonetheless I'm anxious, and that's never fun. Meanwhile I'm feeling so lost lately like I don't know how to be comfortable socially or isolated, and I don't feel like I can trust anyone or anything they say so making new friends is not easy and the only long term friend still in my life is someone who I have had feelings for since the day we met, and I have done such a great job keeping those feelings suppressed and bottled up but nooo now all of a sudden those feelings want to fight their way to the surface? Why? What am I supposed to do with it, it's not like she'd ever see me in that light.. And would it jeopardize our friendship if I brought it up? Who am I kidding there's always going to be someone better.. Someone more attractive physically and otherwise... Someone worthy.. I'm always going to be at the bottom of that waiting list. Who's to say she'd even take me seriously if I did ever strike up that conversation 🙄 so I suppose I will continue to stuff that shit back in the bottle until it stays there and I can stop overthinking everything as usual 😑 just don't want to be alone in the world anymore and don't feel like I can trust new people because I have had people that I thought I knew destroy me, and I can't let that out of my head... Theres plenty more on my mind but I'm at work and have to go serve dinner, but hey this honestly made me feel a little better, now if only I could get myself to talk to a human about these things 🤷🏻‍♂️

[allforthegaianmind]

[sixthdimensio]

note to self: the adderall extended release is not to be taken at 3:30 pm or u will have anxiety for the REst Of the night and morning !!

[allforthegaianmind]

If you knew what I've been doing you would be very disappointed in me, and I know well enough that it's unhealthy and a slippery slope but I needed to feel like me again 😔

[allforthegaianmind]

I honestly just want to make it to the pacific northwest so I can wander into the woods, find a nice natural crop of mushrooms and hang myself from the tree that overhangs the fungi so that as my body decomposes I'm fed to the mushrooms and returned to nature..

[allforthegaianmind]

Here come the tears....

[allforthegaianmind]

First spray of the year just a practice run to get back into it but not too bad lol

[catsbeaversandducks]

By @kenziecoffman and Theo the Cat

[allforthegaianmind]

Russ when he puts his hair up like this 🤤🥰

[allforthegaianmind]

Bars cause I got bored

The way I speak is so intelligent

my pronunciation is so excellent that my flow absolutely eloquent

I come polite with the etiquette

So please stay out my stomping ground, or we gone come stomping ground like a herd of elephant

My biography is a series of life sentences, subject and a predicate.

Sorry if I hurt your feelings I know they're so delicate

I ain't tryna buy your shit so please stop selling it

No one believes your lying shit, so please stop telling it.

Saying anything that you think will help you stay relevant

Really just makes it look like your brain doesn't have a single working cell in it.

Like your broke bitches purse, not a single working cell in it.

Here's pandoras box, open it, and find your own unique hell in it.

Dig your own grave so I can push you in and not give a fuck that you fell in it.

Hope you hit your head on the way down and now your skull leaking like those advil with the gel in it.

And to make sure your dead hit ya with the double barrel, and you bet that each one got a shell in it.

[allforthegaianmind]

[teacup13-deactivated20200319]

Aries: & I’ll keep picking you, through the thorns that fall out of your mouth when you speak, to the spring that allows your laugh to entrance the moon.

Taurus: It’s okay to close your heart for a little while, to listen to your thoughts riot against the moon - we may be paper, darling, but you don’t have to sleep to fly.

Cancer: It feels like something is missing from me, and I think it might be you.

Gemini: I am made from the little bits of yourself you never loved.

Leo: I remember you, and though I still can’t smile, I no longer cry.

Scorpio: How many wombs have you fallen through? how many stars have been surrendered for your thoughts?

Sagittarius: Sometimes I forget that the world extends beyond you and me, that the sky weighs less than keeping your name on my wrist.

Virgo: I know I said I’d love you with all or nothing, but what I meant was all, and there is nothing else.

Libra: My heart wasn’t made to exist without you.

Capricorn: I’ve been looking for smiles under stones that have known your lungs, yet it takes two eyes to set the sun. l

Aquarius: He sees laughter in moth balls, a visual alliteration he can wear around his finger, yet wearing the sky in his mouth never left much room for words. 

Pisces: I don’t need much - just me and you.

[allforthegaianmind]

Drunk longboarding

There's few things better...

[redhottreddz]

[allforthegaianmind]

Low key miss you..

I still haven't changed my lock screen..