❝ you’re so fucking stupid. wow. ❞
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Kiana Khansmith
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❝ you’re so fucking stupid. wow. ❞
my name is the crackle of fire, the sound of trees succumbing to flame and crashing down into a bed of sparks. it is not meant to be spoken. it is meant to be witnessed
// in case y’all were wondering abt the boy’s url this is his theme,
-- @fucktiit
oh, this is golden. he’s quite clearly enjoying himself, with the way he’s burst out laughing; he’s gotten exactly what he wanted, and it wasn’t even that hard. don’t let mo’ get bored, because this is his hobby.
❝ please d-don’t ever change. holy fuck. th-that’s some -- some great stuff you have there, hidden -- hidden in that brain there. ❞ morty’s wheezing out his last laughs, and jeez, there are real tears. it’s been so long since something was this entertaining that this is a godsend. someone introduce this kid to a comedy or something.
morty wipes at his eyes, still grinning. ❝ oooh my god. i-i have to tell rick. he’s gonna choke. ❞
triggerhxppy:
‘ Hm. Wonder how much tinsel it’d take to properly hang myself. ‘
❝ go to bed, rick. ❞
[txt: r]: who tf hates eggnog give me their address
[txt: m]: i think one of the presidents, but i can’t remember which one.
[txt: r]: time to fill their whole ass microwave with eggnog
[txt: m]: what please don’t do that
; morty has an instagram account that’s all pictures of rick flipping the camera off. he’s trying to use his sneaky skills to snap pictures of rick without him knowing -- for training, of course -- but he’s not very successful. even pictures where rick is hardly in the background still include him flipping him off.
mcrtimersmith:
Ugh. Vouchers. Mortimer made a mental note to get RID of those fucking things. The only REASON he became who he was today was because his previous Rick USED one of those things to get the blissfully unaware boy. Nonetheless, Mortimer scribbles it down and reaches over to take a long sip from his mug. His eyes jump to the Morty.
“It’s not poisoned. Believe me. If I wanted you dead, I wouldn’t USE poison.” And then he smiles like it’s only a JOKE he said that. But the flicker in his brown eyes says OTHERWISE. The mug is set back down on the table with a huff of relief. The paperwork follows, but only for a minute. “Listen. You don’t need to be so high strung. I would have killed you the second you walked into this room if I wanted you to disappear.” He gestures over his shoulder. “Probably let that big, loveable asshole back there-” A motion towards Sylvie, who seemed to have melted into the floor with how many scratches Rico was giving her. “-tear you the FUCK apart. So calm your shit.”
With that out of the way, Mortimer takes the paperwork back up.
“now, I’m gonna need a little bit more information about your previous dimension. What happened to your Rick there? Why was your current Rick able to use a Voucher and get you and if you know, who authorized it? Because I don’t see the paperwork for that.”
morty blinks in surprise when mortimer speaks up again, watching him closely, and then brightens. now he knows which president he’s speaking to. he’s very much sure of himself that he knows, anyway, and either that information or the words have set morty more at ease. with more confidence, he takes his own sip from the mug and finds that he’s a fan of cider. huh.
his fingers tap the table. ❝ there’s not much to tell, ❞ he says, cocking his head to one side with a hum. ❝ found my old man doubled over on his desk -- alcohol poisoning. ❞ he’d always been drunk. now that he has the knowledge of meeting several ricks, he finds that none of them are ever as bad as his first rick was.
morty never sees the appeal in alcohol. the smell makes him sick now.
❝ i’m a morty. i’m never told anything about what goes on; i was kept in some kind of... day-care, ❞ he says the word with distaste -- as if a teenager needed to be kept in something that sounds like it’s for toddlers -- ❝ until i was chosen. i was there for... for a year and a half, i think, before my rick decided he wanted another morty after his last bit the dust. ❞
he knows what happened to his rick’s first morty. he doesn’t like to talk about it.
he continues, ❝ i don’t know where it’s located, but it was kinda fancy. i don’t know any of the working ricks’ dimension numbers, though. i think rick was given a voucher ‘cause... ❞ he shrugs. ❝ i dunno. he’s in-the-know. knows someone who knows someone who knows a guy. he’s done jobs for the people in the citadel before, so he probably got it a long time ago, before his morty died -- since they knew his job is dangerous. he was solo for... a while, before finally redeeming the voucher. ❞
and he can picture it, too; rick is one of the more no-nonsense ricks, but morty is getting him to open up. slowly but surely; training becomes rough-housing, running around the house shooting nerf guns while beth ducks on the couch to avoid them. rick even quips back, playing along with morty’s poorly-made jokes.
mcrtimersmith:
Mortimer could easily brush over the response. Nonetheless, he scribbles down the answer on the sheet of paper, humming delightfully to himself. Peace falls over the room; one of the Rick guards even walks up to Mortimer and offers him something. A mug of coffee? Tea? Nope. Cinnamon wafted up into the air and the President took it gratefully.
Hot cider by the SMELL of it.
“Want one?” He asks, figuring he should be a little HOSPITABLE. In question, Sylvie went up to the guard himself, laying her massive head on the guard’s. Mortimer has to resist the urge to pull out his phone and take twenty pictures of Rico and Sylvie. Especially when the service Rick raises his hands to scratch at the bottom of her jaw.
Without waiting for an answer, the guard sets a mug beside the Morty. He could choose whether to drink it or not, but Mortimer seemed determined to keep the process going, as evident to the way he reorganized the paperwork and squinted at the next question he had to ask. Apparently he knew the answer to this one and scribbled it down. Age…gender….occupation….it continued on like that for awhile.
“here we go.” Mortimer’s tone gets chipper. “Why did you CHOOSE the occupation you did? Were you coerced? Or asked? Or M.V.C?”
morty’s eyes on the guard are, well, guarded. he eyes the mug placed for him, not wanting to drink from it until the president does as well. it’s mostly out of habit, not any real suspicion; he’s avoided getting poisoned plenty of times just by waiting. he has no evidence that it was poured from the same pitcher, anyway, so there’s no real reason to wait, though... and he’s never tried cider before --
his thoughts are interrupted by mortimer’s voice again, though there’s no indication he had been distracted. this time, his answer is immediate and confident.
❝ voucher, ❞ he says, knowing that means he had to have been picked out on purpose. for a reason. they wouldn’t just hand an assassin rick with a reputation just any old morty; they chose the one who wasn’t squeamish (who they’d caught dissecting alien bugs on field trips), who had good reflexes, and who’d been taught some form of self-defense by his previous rick.
he doesn’t mention that he would never have chosen this profession otherwise, because now he’s looking forward to it. he knows the real deal is coming soon -- a practice mission, something that if he fucks up, rick can take over and steer it back into place. soon it’ll be him behind the trigger, him with blood on his hands --
❝ it was pretty hectic, ❞ he admits. ❝ like they were in a rush, so i wouldn’t ask any questions. ❞
insheepsclothing replied to your post “ ❝ you two are gay enough just being – just being in the...”
"don't be jealous." ;)
❝ can’t i be, like, j-just a little? ❞
❝ you two are gay enough just being -- just being in the same room as each other, don’t worry. ❞
mcrtimersmith:
Resisting the urge to allow the smug little grin from coming across his face, Mortimer chooses to lean back in his seat and watch his Space Hyena as she approaches the Morty, sniffing at his face, the back of his neck. She came up pretty high on him, armed with rows of dangerously sharp teeth that dripped slowly with a green venom.
Sylvie only offers him another low GROWL before Mortimer calls her back over. She goes without complaint, tail wagging as she settles down beside him; the only noise in the room for a little bit is the loud THUMP of her tail smacking against the floor.
“Of course. Take a seat.” He rumbles finally, ignoring the way Rico let out a huff of laughter. Mortimer DOES send a glare back at the Secret Service Rick, but the president only gets a smile in return.
“Now, to make sure we’ve got everything on here correct, I’m going to be asking you questions and I’d like you to answer them to the best of your ability. If you’d rather NOT answer, then this discussion is immediately over and I will have my guards escort you from this room.” The smile on Mortimer’s face grows.
“First one. What’s your original dimension number?”
morty doesn’t know what behaviors this space hyena has, let alone what species it is; he doesn’t know if looking her in the eyes is considered a challenge, or if he’s supposed to be offering something in return for this... inspection. all he can do is stay still, face flinching with her breaths as they billow across his skin and create goosebumps. the hairs on the back of his neck stand up even after she’s gone, and morty rubs at his nape to try to get rid of the lingering feeling.
he isn’t so much afraid of her as he is simply intimidated by the power she posed; she seemed well-trained enough that unless he did something rash, she wouldn’t lash out. and if the president wanted him dead, he would have ordered her to tear him to shreds already. but morty isn’t afraid of death. mortys die every day, and if he’s added to the count? well, rick will just have to find a replacement, is all.
finally forcing himself to move, morty sits in the open chair, careful that his movements aren’t sudden. he doesn’t relax -- not really -- and his polite smile has waned. in fact, the first question offered has him grimacing.
it doesn’t give him any help in discerning which president he’s speaking to; he was asked this before, and he didn’t give an answer. it isn’t that he doesn’t want to, but numbers and letters get jumbled and mixed up in his head, and he’s forgotten, really. morty’s mind races, trying to come up with something to give him before he hesitates too long and he’s thrown out.
❝ i’m... not sure if i remember exactly, ❞ he says slowly, frowning. he remembers that at the end, he always thought it was K9 -- like a dog. but he always had to remind himself that it isn’t. ❝ it’s long and stupid, and i never thought it was important. it’s like... ❞ morty waves a hand, a gesture that shows how little he really cares and how much he’s thinking about it despite that.
❝ J923... K4? ❞ his voice inclines at the end, unsure. ❝ that sounds right. J923-K4. ❞
morty doesn’t let himself think too much about his original reality. his original rick. his original family. there’s no time right now for reminiscing.
mcrtimersmith:
An eyebrow is cocked in the other Morty’s direction. It’s clear he doesn’t know WHICH of the two presidents he’s talking to and Mortimer plans on keeping it that way for as long as physically possible. Sure, Mortimer hasn’t quite MET this Morty yet, but there was always a first time for everything.
And that time was now.
Sylvie offered only a low growl when the assassin’s assistant looked at her, but it held no ill-intent. It was more like a curious huff than anything. There was someone in here that she didn’t quite know, but the scent of him seemed familiar. He’d been in this office before. “That’s you.” Mortimer repeats back at him.
“There is a reason, yes. You see, there seems to be a bit of FOLLY in your paperwork and I was needing information to clarify a few things.” The reason for bringing him in here was a good front to try and understand this Morty a bit more. Did he PLAN on using the information about the two presidents against them? No one else ALIVE on the Citadel knew that there were two of the Presidents and only a few SELECT people knew.
Namely the secret service and ONLY them.
“But I reckon I could also ASK your Rick then? Does HE know more about you than you do?”
his face twisted in mild confusion, lips pulled in a thin line. he’d figured perhaps the ricks hadn’t cared enough to do things properly when he’d been handed over, but surely it would have been remedied by now? maybe attention hadn’t been brought to his files until much more recently.
when he’d started to speak with the presidents in the first place.
❝ no, we’ve only reached second base, ❞ he quipped back, unable to help himself. ❝ i can answer anything you need to know. ❞
a part of him wondered if the paperwork really had been botched -- if things really didn’t match up, or if he was simply being interrogated. there was no reason for him to lie either way, however, so he wasn’t too concerned. if anything, the idea boosted his confidence a little bit. that he was interesting enough, dangerous enough to be called here in the first place. to have piqued the presidents’ interests.
morty’s breath caught briefly at the positive anxiety that welled in his chest at the thought, and he covered it up with a polite smile.
❝ i’m all yours, sir. ❞ he folded his arms without really crossing them, fingers playing with the wraps that extended from his hands to halfway up his forearms. ❝ what seems to be the problem? ❞
❣
headcanon symbols - accepting
❣ - hands
morty trains almost religiously at this point. usually, his hands are in wrappings, healing wounds and protecting what sensitive skin remains, but without the coverage his hands are bruised and cut. his knuckles are almost always red with irritation or blood, and his palms are slowly becoming calloused and rough.
on his right hand, his third digit has a small callous on the inside of the first knuckle where a pencil usually would sit. on his left, his pinky finger is curved awkwardly from a bad break, but it’s still functional.
his hands are too rough to be those of a fifteen year old’s. where there isn’t bruising or callouses or healing scars, the skin is soft and sensitive. he enjoys holding hands or running his thumb along the insides of his fingers where the skin is unharmed.
Headcanon meme - send me a symbol and I'll describe my muse's...
❣ - hands
❤ - voice
۵ - feet
❦ - lips
ø - eyes
ღ - nose
♮ - body type
♫ - singing voice
✮ - sleeping habits
✉ - texting habits
✿ - laugh
✍ - writing style
⌨ - time-wasting habits
❅ - keeping warm/keeping cool techniques
✎ - taste in music/literature
☤ - self care/first aid habits
✪ - favourite food/eating habits
☁ - ideal holiday
✄ - nervous habits
☂ - sadness
❈ - ideal birthday
dramaimplant replied to your post “ he’s been training, and it’s obvious; he’s no longer a little...”
NOW slick has something to be jealous about ... finally.
fingerguns.
he’s been training, and it’s obvious; he’s no longer a little scrawny kid, now more of a scrawny... muscley... kid. that six pack is coming in eventually. let him sprawl out on the floor; he’s earned it.