My Inner Thoughts

Hayley | 32 | SoFlo 🌴| 🇯🇲 | Twitter/IG: notmadein_china

[allinmyfeelings]

I don’t know what it is about me that makes people not want to stay around.

[shadybrooktrez]

In need of a real intense sexual and intimate experience.

[allinmyfeelings]

Cheers to 32. 🎉

[scorpionlafemme]

[bustapleasee]

“Sistaaah, Sistaaah”

[allinmyfeelings]

Me lately.

[allinmyfeelings]

Jamaica Carnival 2026. 🇯🇲

[allinmyfeelings]

Couldn’t sleep so I decided to try on outfits for my upcoming vacation.

I really am the baddest bitch in the world.

[allinmyfeelings]

As God is my witness I may never date again in this lifetime. I’m tired.

[allinmyfeelings]

A message from a man on December 31st, 2025.

Today, on February 28th, 2026, he showed me a picture of his NEWBORN baby.

LMAOOOOOOOOOO

[stricatul]

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter

[aidashakur]

having crazy chemistry with someone and then having to move on & forget about it like it never happened is truly wild to me

[piecesofapuzzle]

i feel like i'm both too much and not enough

[allinmyfeelings]

[allinmyfeelings]

I was going back & forth on whether I should post this on this Tumblr page or my secret one, but it doesn’t matter.

I think my feelings towards men as a whole is turning into hate, or possibly fear.

I’ve said before that I genuinely do not feel protected by men. Whether romantically, societally, in the familial sense, I just don’t. I never grew up with great examples of good men and as time goes by, I personally don’t come across many. I have spent years internalizing my feelings at the comfort of men, and for what? What has that gotten me?

A father who’s ashamed of my existence.

Someone who I called my father trying to have sex with me.

My “uncle” kissing me.

Forced to go through an abortion alone.

An ex who threatened to r*pe me.

A different ex who set up an attempt for his friend to r*pe me.

Actually being r*ped.

I keep trying to have these positive thoughts and wishful thinking that my encounters with men will be different, but they’re not. The second I show any bit of insight into how I feel, it’s always a problem.

I’m not really sure why I’m writing this right now, but honestly at this moment my spirit is just….broken.

[allinmyfeelings]

Y’all,

I have a crush on a boy UGH.

He’s so handsome and seems really nice and I genuinely like being around him (and he’s a GREAT kisser). Trying not to focus on it too much because you know the second you say you like a boy is when they start acting up.

Plz pray I fall in love this year because if I don’t I’m gonna start fucking for money istg.

[allinmyfeelings]

Ok so he went out of town and I’m not sure if he’s back because I stopped watching his IG stories but I think he’s back. I haven’t heard from him since he left but if I watch his story and see that he’s back I’m going to feel like an idiot for having feelings for someone who doesn’t feel the same way about wanting to talk. I am also just coming off of my period so I might by a little hyper-emotional.

These are the things that happen the second you say you like a man out loud smh.

[allinmyfeelings]

I watched his story. He’s back. I waited to see if he would text me but he didn’t. I wanted to be super petty and say nothing, or send a really snarky message, but I asked him how his trip was, told him I was glad he made it back safely & that I missed him a little bit. He hasn’t responded to that part yet. Why the fuck did I say that???

In other news, I called my dad for his birthday today and he unexpectedly roped me into a deep conversation by asking how he could be a better dad to me. The first thing I said was I’d like him to invite me to visit him in Maryland. He put it on me by saying he doesn’t know my work schedule and to let him know when I’m free and he’ll come down to Florida. Not what I said, but okay. I also said that I’d like him to call me more. He said we shouldn’t put an expectation on how often we call each other because it wouldn’t feel organic.

I’ve just felt really sad at the hands of men today and I don’t like it. I’m tired of being in this space.

[allinmyfeelings]

Y’all,

I have a crush on a boy UGH.

He’s so handsome and seems really nice and I genuinely like being around him (and he’s a GREAT kisser). Trying not to focus on it too much because you know the second you say you like a boy is when they start acting up.

Plz pray I fall in love this year because if I don’t I’m gonna start fucking for money istg.

[allinmyfeelings]

Ok so he went out of town and I’m not sure if he’s back because I stopped watching his IG stories but I think he’s back. I haven’t heard from him since he left but if I watch his story and see that he’s back I’m going to feel like an idiot for having feelings for someone who doesn’t feel the same way about wanting to talk. I am also just coming off of my period so I might by a little hyper-emotional.

These are the things that happen the second you say you like a man out loud smh.