jakecalhoun:
Keep calm. Donât do something you will regret. Because you know you wouldnât be able to actually live with yourself if you killed her. Jake had almost blocked out her words with the thoughts in his head, yet he was still taking in what she said. He hated that she was acting this way. As if she should just keep her thoughts to herself in order to keep him happy, when any normal person would know that wasnât fair. âThatâs a goddamn lie, Allison. I gave you everything you fucking wanted. Do you know how fucking hard it was for me to even let myself get this close to you in the first place? You were supposed to be a fun little game for the night but you turned into more. I knew I shouldâve had my fun and then forget about you, but for some goddamn reason I hadnât had enough of you, and I still havenât. You keep me on my toes and I never know what is going to happen next.â Jake realized how much he was saying and took a second to catch his breath. He shouldnât be this open with her. Not now. Not when she had already seen enough of this side to know that when he got like this, it meant that he was losing control. She was getting to him and he was unable to stop himself from feeling defeated.
Jake needed something. Cocaine, alcohol, or even just a hit from the blunt that had been laying on the dresser next to him. Anything to get his mind off of the whole situation. He would be the first to admit that this night wasnât going how he had wanted it to, and there was a part of him that knew that it was best to just let her go and forget about it all. But he was just too damn stubborn to let her get away that easy. Or at least he thought so. Jake just watched her in silence before she began speaking once more. There was no fight left in him. He was broken and it almost felt like the lowest he had ever felt. At least since he heard the news that his sister wasnât going to make it. For some reason this had cut deeper though. He had never felt so emotionally drained and it was almost to the point he wanted to laugh just because of how stupid it all was. It was like a sad love story. The boy loves a girl that doesnât return those feelings and gets butt hurt over it all. Boo hoo. Jake never thought that he would be that guy. That guy he would usually just roll his eyes at or laugh at. But here he was. Allison had him hooked on her and he just couldnât get away.
I wanted to know what it would feel like to kill you. The words left her mouth so easily that it had caused a small scoff to slip from his mouth. She meant it. There was no doubt about that. Jake felt like he had been more surprised, but as much as he gave her what she wanted, he also knew how much stuff he had put her through since they met. Too many times to remember, Jake had used her as bait to get something or distract someone for awhile so that he could steal a bit of money or drugs. She had been his punching bag as well as his princess, but sometimes it would be weeks before he would ever treat her like a princess. Bruise and broken one day, Jake would come home with a present or make her a meal and act like the gentleman that he sometimes could be. Fuck, it was more of a surprise that she hadnât killed him yet honestly.
After what felt like hours, Jake finally moved over to her and let his eyes linger on her momentarily before closing the distance between them. His lips lingered millimeters from hers as his hand found her waist. âDo you still want to know what itâs like to kill me?â Jake asked, but before she could answer he had closed the small gap between their lips and pressed a lingering kiss to her lips. During that brief period, he had found the key for the handcuffs on the bed side table. His lips left hers only so that he could quickly unlock the cuffs so that her hands were free. âKill me then.â Jake pulled the silver knife from his back pocket and held it out towards her. Emotionless still. Not wanting to give away what he was felt, and at that point he wasnât sure he cared what happened next. If she killed him, then it was over, but what would happen if she didnât kill him?Â
The biggest question though, was what was Jakeâs real motive? Donât forget, it is always a game in that sick and twisted head of his. âGo on, sweetheart. Or did you want to kill me with that gold knife? You know, the one you thought I didnât know that you took from me.â Jake finally let an emotion show. A smirk. The devils smirk. The smirk that had changed the mood completely as he spoke. That poor, weak Jake had been hidden by that neurotic devil that lived inside of him. âYouâd finally win this game. But what happens next? What happens if you kill me? Who will be there to give you that rush. No one makes you feel the way that I do. Admit it. Youâve missed this, Allison.â
Not only did Jake blame her for every bad thing he has ever done to her, he also blames her for his constant interest in her also. Once again it all goes back to everything being Allisonâs fault. Sometimes she wondered what her life would be like and how she would act if she never even met Jake? What would happen if she didnât take that stupid side class and get paired with him? All Allison can think she would be was normal. She wasnât ever like this before Jake. She didnât get a kick out of seeing people hurt or purposely being a bitch to someone to get a rise out of them. Hell before him she avoided most confrontations that came her way. Allison wasnât a fighter; she was a lover but he had just forced her to become both. Now she enjoyed watching Jake hurt and liked putting him in situations where he would be mad. She got a complete kick out of watching her love go completely insane- but sometimes she did take it too far. But the thing is, is he did too. Sometimes she wondered if there was ever going to be a wall- a breaking point for them. Theyâve been through so much together and separately.Â
Allisonâs heart started to race as Jake made his way over towards her quickly. She watched him bend down and her lips parted at his question. In a couple small ways, she was glad he kissed her. First off she didnât have to answer his question- which was good because she didnât want to. Secondly, she hasnât kissed Jake in months and it already felt like she was having withdraws from him. She felt her hands get freed and instantly she rubbed her wrists, looking down at the red and slightly swollen area. There was for sure going to be a temporary mark there.Â
Kill me then.  Kill him? Allisonâs head instantly shut up as a million things ran through her mind in that moment. She stared up at him, her mouth slightly open and her eyes filled to the brim with confusion and innocence. She couldnât stand how cold he looked in that moment and just shook her head as she sat up, holding the knife he had given her. âI took the golden knife because I was scared you were going to use it on me. I didnât care if you knew or not.â She defended herself, not even wanting to press on the issue of her killing him. No matter how hard she tried- she wouldnât be able to do it. What would she even do without Jake? These last few months have been shit without him and sheâs missed him terribly- even though she knew that was a horrible thing to do. You shouldnât miss someone who abuses you- itâs not right. She listened as he just continued talked, and she looked at his knife as he did so. She ran her fingers across the same blade he had cut her cheek with earlier, chewing on her bottom lip. He knew she wouldnât do it. Thatâs exactly why he gave her the knife in the first place. Once again all he wanted to do was prove that he was above her and she was his. âWhy do you have to do this to me, Jake?â she mumbled quietly, glancing up at him again. âWhatâs the point of admitting anything? Like I said before, itâs not like anything will change.â She stood up, shutting the knife and shoving it in her back pocket. âI didnât know you were such a masochist anyways.â She stated, her eyes trailing down his body for a second before back into his eyes. âYou keep silently begging me to tell you I love you or I miss you. Youâre hurting yourself on purpose and using me to do it. Quite rude if I may add.â Allison let out a small innocent smile and tilted her head slightly as she looked up at him. Eventually if he got upset enough, he would make her leave. Or at least thatâs what she was hoping for at this point. âI bet you jerk off to the thought of me trying to kill you. See what would happen is, I would attempt to, but you would grab the knife from me and change the situation so I was the vulnerable one and I know you absolutely love when I play that role. Just gives you fuel and excitement.â








