Rosie was checking her emails diligently, scrolling endlessly through a myriad of tedious and inane questions. (At least one of them was, When will my dvds from amazon arrive in the mail? Sure, the wait sometimes seemed endless, but was that really worth contacting a psychic?) Her chin resting on her fist, Rosie’s eyes were glazing over until the door to her bedroom opened. Gratefully shutting her laptop, Rosie went to sit beside her sister, accepting a handful of goldfish. They’d been her favorite snack as a child and the magic had never wholly worn off.
Wincing as Allison detailed her experience, she chuckled despite everything. “Sorry, I really shouldn’t laugh,” she admitted. “It’s just…A feelings journal? Really? I hope the one you write is wildly melodramatic,” she teased. “We should watch Snape’s Diary for inspiration.”
Sobering up, she shrugged. “I’m surprised they do still let her teach! She was soo old when I was in high school that we were all worried she’d drop any day! I mean, I never had to take a full class from Mrs. Ryan, fortunately, but some of my friends did. They said, if you ask her any questions, she’ll go off on her own tangent for at least half an hour. I didn’t believe it until one time she substituted for us and it happened the first question someone asked. Somehow, she got talking about Shakespeare and then she talked about these lambs she’d seen frolicking out of the window for ages until she finally realized what she was doing and started chastising us for distracting her. Still, it was an amazing ride. You seriously never knew what was gonna come next,” laughed Rosie. “I’m pretty sure she didn’t even end up answering the question…”
She bit her lip. “She doesn’t seriously want you to write about every single question, does she?” she inquired. It honestly wouldn’t have surprised her too much, given Mrs. Ryan’s reputation, but Rosie chose to hold on to hope. “I mean, maybe if it were art that’d maybe somehow make some kind of sense to someone, but…this?” she shook her head. “Besides, how can you possibly grade that? It’s literally asking for opinions! Opinions are totally subjective! It doesn’t make sense.”
Rosie shook her head. “Come on, it’s only one year! You can do this! See it as a challenge,” she added, encouragingly. “‘I’m literally going to go insane,’ sounds like a great start for your feelings journal!” she added, not entirely sure if she was even serious or not. How was one supposed to do a ‘feelings’ journal? Rosie didn’t know.
Shrugging, Rosie popped a goldfish into her mouth, chewing it thoughtfully and swallowing. “Not really,” she admitted. “Today was kind of quiet as far as visions go,” she added. It was kind of nice. “But I did see David Lennox walking around town, so I closed shop and retreated here,” she admitted, chuckling. Every time she saw him in person, her rent seemed to go up.
Allison chuckled, “Obviously, that’s what I’m planning on doing.” She flipped her calculus book open to the first lesson, “Okay, so using the provided formula, I’m supposed to figure out how much water flows out of this guy’s facet during the first two minutes – okay. But I guess the really important question, is how do I feel about this? It honestly makes me really depressed that this guy has nothing better to do than measure exactly how much water flows out of his sink in two minutes and I got too distracted setting him up for match.com that I forget to do the rest of these problems.”
She almost choked on the goldfish. Assuming her best Snape voice, she said, “Today, I ate some oatmeal for my breakfast. It was flavourless and watery. I thought of -- “ She paused, deciding to swap out mother for something else for a host of reasons, “ -- the lunch lady. I cried.”
Allison laughed, “Yeah, today she talked about this collection of ants she had found in the back of the desk from something that had been left in there since June and while that was initially more interesting than the sheep thing, she did go on about it for like an hour ... and then somehow it turned into how she’d gotten a run in her panty hose this morning .... I’m not really sure if there was any relevant information in between -- I was too distracted from the piece of spinach that was stuck in between her teeth that’s been there for ... well, who knows.”
Allison shrugged, “I guess we’ll find out how she plans to grade this eventually. She wasn’t really clear? About anything? I’m half wondering -- well, have hoping -- that this was actually an assignment for another class? Either way, there’s seems to be every chance that she’ll forget about it ... or if not, dear god, please let her realize how stupid it is.”
She laughed, leaning back into the pillows, “I think “I’m literally going insane” just might be the title, to be honest.”
She propped herself up on her elbow, “Oh, ew.” She popped another goldfish into her mouth, “I think we should all get together and run that guy out of town.” Too bad he actually owned like ... everything. “He’s such an ass.” And so was Harry, Allison thought.
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