Today's Episode of Why Molly Should Never Leave the House
Tonight I went to Barnes and Noble to get some writing done. I finished a story (yay) and went to get some material for the next one I’m starting. Material on Jack the Ripper. I worried that I might scare people. Oh no. Not in the slightest. Cut to a few minutes after I’ve settled in to start writing again:
Man Behind Me (about mid-twenties): Excuse me, miss. Miss?
MBM: Are you by any chance wearing some kind of perfume.
MBM: Are you sure, I just got a whiff of this really heady scent.
Me: No, I’m not. *laughs*
MBM: Guess it was that guy’s cologne.
MBM: I’m sorry to bother you again.
MBM: You really don’t smell that?
Me: No, I’m a little stuffed up.
MBM: Oh yeah, flu season.
Me: Yeah *goes back to writing*
MBM: I’m sorry. But it has to be you because I smell it every time you slump down in your chair. I know women don’t like to discuss this but…are you wearing special deodorant?
Me: I’m wearing normal Dove deodorant.
MBM: Huh. It smell really good whatever it is.
MBM: Well, you’re obviously doing something good so congratulations.
MBM: Would you permit me just one more question? Then I’ll leave you alone. [spoiler alert, he doesn’t]
MBM: What is your interest in Jack the Ripper? I only ask because, I’m interested in him too.
Me: I wrote some papers on him in college and am just doing some more research.
MBM: So, do you believe in the single-man theory?
Me: I really studied it more from a literary perspective so…
MBM: So you don’t think he was real?
Me: No, I just looked at the case alongside mystery stories. Sensationalism and all that.
MBM: Oh okay. Will you permit me one more inquisitive question? I realize that’s redundant.
MBM: Ah, younger than me. And, what do you study?
MBM: Now, how does a girl studying literature end up researching Jack the Ripper?
Me: I’m interested in the Victorian Era.
MBM: I’m also interested in the Victorians. Not the literature so much as what was happening in the world at that time.
Me: Ah, okay. It was a really interesting time.
MBM: So, I have to ask, do you like steampunk?
Me: I haven’t encountered a lot of it.
MBM: I’m also anti-steampunk.
Me: That’s not what I said. I just haven’t seen or read a lot. I think it seems cool.
MBM: I’ll let you get back to what you’re doing.
MBM: I’m sorry, I just have to ask at this point, what’s your name?
MBM stares at me in shock for a moment.
MBM: So, your parents named you Molly as a joke?
MBM: I’m sorry, it’s just *he pulls out his ID* this is why I wondered. (his name is Riley). Molly is as Irish as Riley.
Me: Huh. Well, all the Mollys I know aren’t Irish so…
MBM (Riley): It’s like meeting someone named Feng-shu and saying “oh, you’re from the Orient” and having them say their Italian.
*my inner monologue screams, The Orient is not an okay term for anyone under the age of sixty, and that’s just because they learned it that way…*
Me: Ha. Well, it happens.
Riley: What is your ethnicity?
Riley: I would not have guessed Austrian (apparently because I did not goose-step to my table). Huh. An Italian girl named Molly. I’ll let you get back to what you’re doing. You’re contorting yourself (I’ve been turning in my chair for every query). What are you working on?
Me: Just finishing up some random things. But I actually have to go soon.
Riley: Oh, I didn’t like think this was a date…
Riley: I mean, if you wanted to sit over here with me, I guess I could get a candle from downstairs, a sandwich from the cafe…
Me: That’s sweet, but I really do have to leave to get my brother.
Riley: Yeah, I understand.
Me: It was nice talking to you.
I know this is long, but I had to write it down. Now, I’ve never been approached like this. It’s sweet to have someone pay attention to you. However, if your intention is to hit on someone, steer clear of starting with “I like the way you smell”. Especially if you’re not drunk in a club and the girl is trying to write in a bookstore. By all means strike up a conversation about what she’s reading. Then again, interest in Jack the Ripper is not the best way to a lady’s heart. even if said lady is interested in Jack the Ripper herself…
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