my own devastating god.

[allmonster]

spent almost all day thrifting ✌️😔 for household shit. i got cute cutlery… a microwave. a kettle. a pizza dish. some knives. a brown glass baking dish. books and clothes for my mini… a few DVDs… all for less than $60

[selfexcision-a]

the war cleric, vessel of the divine, immovable wall and unstoppable force. MILITANT KINDNESS PERSONIFIED, VANNIL 'VANN' NIORUN; a hero of many tales and faces, but of enduring indefatigable good as featured on #selfexcision, a multimuse featuring original characters, arcane, expedition 33, bloodborne, and more. 21+, crossover open, read carrd byf.

[allmonster]

[ SURPRISE ]: celegorm, noticing an otherwise occupied eivor, moves forward silently and suddenly grabs their shoulder to startle them.

this unseen foe has the advantage, but eivor has been a fighter since they were small, clawing for life at the clifface of fate. the instinct takes but a second split in two, keeling over into practice and talent. upon the hold of their shoulder, whirling, eivor makes to strike with their non-dominant hand, knowing it will be caught— the other, much quicker, secret and wily in its execution of the maneuver, releases the hidden blade in their gauntlet with a soft shk in the movement of a second blow.

another second split stalls the movement just in time upon recognition of the body behind them. accursed elves and their accursed silence! eivor’s arm stops just short of the once-prince’s body, the tip of that sharp blade nicking into his tunic. a staggered breath exposes the real shock, that they have almost stabbed him in the fucking ribs! and the strike would not have been held.

despite celegorm’s tickled expression, eivor is not so amused and wrenches both arms away from him with an indignant ( if not outright mad ) huff. the hidden blade, once again, rehomes itself in the raven king’s bracer.

❛❛ next time, i will pierce your lungs. do not approach me that way again, you witless gull! i do not scare easy. ❜❜ they smooth their hands down along their own tunic : a regal and rich blue, accentuated by finely crafted leather and precise embroidery. settling once again, eivor’s arms cross, a quirk of one eyebrow signaling that the offense has passed and their spirits too have entangled with his reckless mischief.

❛❛ did you want to be penetrated by me? you could have said so, tyelko. ❜❜

[allmonster]

continued,

laughter. a sound olrox admits he has not heard in earnest in some time, despite how quiet it is. the count’s own expression remains tranquil, but there is a softening of his snake’s eyes as though they become a little less guarded. walls raised as defenses to emotions he may never confess are soft, a natural instinct on his part … with each passing minute, adam manages to scale them more and more ( because he is earnest, olrox acknowledges. because he is honest ). the vampire resettles in his seat, albeit subtly, as though the topic has brought up some kind of discomfort.

❛❛ no, adam. other vampires are not like me. most of them have forfeited their souls. as i’m certain you can imagine, it’s far easier to exist with nothing weighing down your conscience. they have none. no heart, no empathy, no respect for anything other than their own kind— and sometimes less than that. i am one of the rare few who has retained my humanity, but believe me when i say there are some days i regret holding onto it so tight. eternity is a long time to be constantly feeling. ❜❜ but there is no real sense of discouragement in the words olrox shares : it feels more like a glimpse into his own psyche than a judgement on how he or anyone should behave. another crack in his walls.

then again they move back to the thanks, for olrox’s boundless generosity. yes, yes! he’s grateful, that much is obvious, but it is not without its price to be paid! olrox nearly opens his mouth to refute the humility, to make plain that adam is of great interest to olrox as a scholar and curious man himself … but lips press together once again as the enigma of the first man unravels more before the vampire’s pale eyes.

too his heart unravels, aching with great pain for this monster who so clearly desires affirmation and reassurance. he weighs in his calm silence if the question is rhetorical, but adam’s continued peering deeply into olrox’s gaze suggests the waiting is true, so he says :

❛❛ i see a lonely creature who, despite the entire world thrashing his back, has found that he’s capable of grace he was not afforded. i see bravery in you, and as much as that courage, i see beauty as well. you have a kind manner about you, adam, and i’m drawn to it. you’ve seen moths flutter towards flames, yes? but there is something solid in you that i notice, too. the will to survive even when you don’t know it yourself, which is an excellent trait. you’re the first of your kind as you say, and worth preserving. it’s not easy to find the gumption to keep going, and with the hand you’ve been dealt and your gentle heart, many would’ve doubted you. i happen to know that heart and survival go hand in hand. i’m glad to have found you, and to share my home— i’ve no need nor desire for your money, just that you humor me for as long as you’re willing to stay. my pursuit of knowledge has gotten me into trouble in the past, and though i don’t wish to burden you, i do want to expose more of the masterpiece that is adam. i hope you’ll stay. the guest wing has two rooms. you’re welcome to look at them both and choose your favorite— but promise to join me for breakfast in the morning and consider your word your repayment to me. ❜❜ but the conversation needn’t stop here, unless adam is tired. olrox guesses he may be, as his story told briefly describes countless days spent with no respite. adam must be weary down to his bones.

❛❛ i can walk with you, if you care for more company. sarah will be sent to the tailor with your coat, and she can guess the sizes she’ll need for new clothing for you based off its measurements. i’ll deliver on my promises, too. you’ll be taken care of as long as you’re a guest in my home, adam. ❜❜

[allmonster]

[ WORRY ]: the sender grabs the receiver by the shoulders to take a good look at them for any sign of harm or injury. ( from adam to Olrox but reversed !! )

of the many years thus far lived through forever, this was by far the longest— and yet, the blink of an eye. how olrox wept! and wondered, and mourned, and prayed. the creature and the vampire both endured one rebirth, their own, first thoughts conjured from the brains of dead men. the death of their makers marked the second, and as births go, they are to be suffered alone. a rite of passage through the shedding of blood and violence wrought by their own hands. grief disguised as rage : sorrow over the men who should have loved them but spurned instead, these eternal children. disgust reflected from the faces of their creators back at them as the light leaves their eyes.

in their reunion, olrox had thrown himself into the arms of the creature. loving and strong, they held him back just as tightly and their bodies crushed together told enough of the story of a great sense of missing while they were separate. a necessity, yes, but his absence was so noticeable. a gaping hole in the heart of the vampire-witch. the sense of loss has never been true, for adam cannot die and olrox knew he would one day return when his unfinished business was complete … but difficult to outlast nonetheless when the two years prior to their parting had been so full of companionship and learning and support. love, he daresay ( despite still being unwilling to admit it aloud, somehow olrox wagers adam knows ). there had been an inkling prior to their first words to one another that the creature was special. how small a word to encompass all that adam is, and how blessed olrox has been to know him in spite of the worry that had sickened him for a year.

when again his feet strike the ground after being lifted and embraced, the vampire peels away from him, only to still grasp his shoulders and pull adam down closer to him, tall as he is. through watery, green eyes, the viper’s gaze flits over him, scrutinizes everything he can in this proximity. then, loosens his grip and takes another step back to get a broader view. he is quick to shut the gap again, and this time cradles each of the creature’s cheeks in each palm. thumb strokes gentle over the bone of his brow and beneath the socket of his eye, where he had seen flesh burned away by the blast of dynamite— eye exposed, lidless. what pain he must’ve been in during the frenzy of closing in on his prey. olrox had picked the exact, worst moment, he thinks, to scry.

❛❛ i wasn’t sure when i’d see you again. i’m so glad you’re back, adam. are you alright? fingers intact? limbs all accounted for? your heart, i hear, remains fixated in your chest … what a relief. ❜❜ it seems on the tip of his tongue, there may be more to say. whatever it is remains a secret, electing instead the softest of smiles : the kind that reaches his eyes, and in their wetness, glistens like gemstones all of that green. the kind that crinkles his crow’s feet in joy. those hands remain a few seconds too long, before sliding down adam’s shoulders and arms again until they fall back at his own sides. the vampire rests his own hands atop his own chest.

❛❛ my home and life have felt bereft without you, adam, my own sun. thank you for coming back. ❜❜

[allmonster]

i hope everybody knows i want to write all my replies and memes so bad 🤘😔 but i’m still swirling around in dante’s 9 circles of HELL.

t-minus 1 week until i get the keys to my own place and can move out of my soon-to-be ex-wife’s shared home … nothing’s easy about this shit but i am looking forward to finding my way out of this survival mode i’ve existed in for the past 2 years!

[hamartaneiin]

MAGNI HAS TAKEN TO FOCUSING UPON HIS STEW — he too, has forsaken food for lack of appetite during their time spent APART. He only realized how immensely he hungered, when the AROMA of the stew permeated the room. Perhaps he even ate too gruffly — devouring the bread and the contents of the stew with FERVOR. It WARMED tired limbs, weary of so much travel in so short a time. Now that his hunger is being SATIATED, he is also acutely aware of the scent of the soil and forest that CLINGS to his skin and hair ( seems he’ll need to bathe as well ).

However, he does his BEST to quell his bubbling excitement, that brews against his breast with the RAPID thrumming of his hjarta. All he had ever wanted was to be a father — and Ciaran had been his greatest gift from the NORNIR. He hadn’t expected to be blessed more than once !! And would POPULATE a small village with their family, if Eivor was willing. He has ADORED watching their son grow ( despite the tumult and growing pains this brought ), but has SEVERELY missed tiny fingers and toddling footsteps . . . Eyes who looked up at him as if he is their most FAVORED sight. He remains quiet, as he watched the emotion wash over Eivor’s features.

❛ Nor did I . . . Especially given the CIRCUMSTANCES surrounding Ciaran’s birth and early years, ❜ it would seem Magni had not loosened his WORRIED hold upon their son since then. ❛ this time may be different, astin min. We are more PREPARED, better equipped, ❜ and they had not encountered an attack from the Alfodir in QUITE some time. Strength reached to place a comforting, tattooed hand along her own, thumb BRUSHING along her skin. ❛ and we’ve an extra pillar of strength and PROTECTION on our side now, ❜ Ciaran had far surpassed him in prowess and in ABILITY — and while he would never place their firstborn in PERIL, nor would he discount him to fight at their side ( especially for a younger sibling !! ). ❛ do you think him to be RIGHT ?? ❜ finally, a small cracks through his forced quelling of excitement, and a SUBTLE chuckle falls from full lips, ❛ he has not been WRONG about things of this matter BEFORE . . . But do not tell him I said that, ❜ as if their son needed more things to fuel his ARROGANCE.

[allmonster]

even without the reminder, eivor may feel forever guilty for the long and uncertain years of ciaran’s childhood. her firstborn, more beloved and protected than he may know … still young, even now, though he has grown into a man. the raven-god’s heart constricts, squeezing so hard it nearly causes them to gasp or stutter. magni’s hand is the star that steers their ship back to safer waters, blonde lashes fluttering to blink away anxiety.

still, it’s difficult to eat. to convince themself that the food is appetizing, but they manage a handful of bites. mostly bread, some of it dipped to soak the broth.

❛❛ he is right, ❜❜ eivor confirms. disconnecting from herself ( and the world ) out of frustration and anger, it’s easy to ignore the things her body is trying to communicate. this time, her mate is not dead. this time, the family is bigger, this time eivor is older and wiser and stronger— to withstand and defend against anything odin may attempt.

the wildling’s hand slips from strength’s, but they move instead, leaving their seat to skirt around the table and sit instead on his bent knees. eivor’s arms wrap around magni’s shoulders, bending her head in against his face and needing more than to sit across from him and share a meal.

❛❛ i am happy, ❜❜ she reassures, because it may not appear as so. leaning back, only enough to cradle his face in one palm, eivor falls into the crystalline hazel of their husband’s eyes. ❛❛ raising our son has brought me pride i never knew to exist, and love i could not fathom. you are glorious to behold as a father, tender, nurturing … but before we focus on this unborn, i first need to be right with you. i missed you, magni. i am sorry. ❜❜

[allmonster]

continued,

there is no avoiding it, the way their destinies have crashed into one another— and olrox is far from immune to the vulnerability tugging them together by the strings of understanding. it is not mere commiseration, but the rawness of flesh flayed open to reveal each significant agony. as tears spill from adam’s unique eyes, olrox raises a hand to his own chest, grasping gently at the fabric over his breastbone, but he does not glance away … there is no shame, either, in their tender hearts.

❛❛ don’t weep for me, adam. the memory of these events is always fresh, but it was a long time ago. ❜❜ even as he says it, the vampire’s pale eyes mist too. glistening and shining with new wetness. there exists in him, new like springtime, the desire to close the distance between them— but out of respect of their relative unfamiliarity, all olrox does is lean forward in his seat, elbows on his knees.

in his expression there is grace, offered freely to @runaljod. a single tear falls down his cheek, glistening like a diamond against his warm skin.

❛❛ yes, the aztecs. maybe one day i can tell you more about them. ❜❜ his pride, nor his fondness, will never die for his homeland … for his people. he’d be privileged to share their history.

but olrox recognizes the sincerity of adam’s confessions, and wonders if he knows how to lie at all. no blame is cast, nor any feelings of resentment festered, for adam’s aching for understanding is as base as achings come. as ugly as these shared experiences are, comfort comes in surprising shapes, and these tears they also share are as sacred to them as the visibility that comes from similar suffering. all olrox can do is offer his own honesty in return.

❛❛ i find it unnecessary to perpetuate the struggling of another monster. the world is difficult enough. even if my motives sometimes come from a place of selfishness, my offers of help are sincere, and i meant them for you, too— stay as long in this villa as you’d like, adam. you make better company than most vampires, and i’d be glad to see you find your footing someplace safe than out in the woods where anyone could stumble across you. ❜❜ as they circle back to the creature’s maker, olrox in his quietude respects adam’s right to lament and dwell on it. this journey will be long, healing, and not easy … but the more this human creator is mentioned, the less olrox separates him from his vampiric creator. they both deserve death— by the gods, adam deserves his freedom, too.

❛❛ you have time to figure that out, but i already see it, and i think i can help you see it too. will you stay the night, adam? the sun will set soon, and i have an empty house. you’re welcome to everything here aside from my personal room. ❜❜

[ohbeauregard]

ASSASSIN’S CREED: VALHALLA → 40/∞

[allmonster]

for eivor: i’m not going to let anything happen to you.

worser than battles that inflict wounds upon the body are those that invoke scars upon the mind— eivor rather wishes the fights odin brings to them were physical ( though perhaps they one day will be ), for now in zoya’s arms, their brutish and powerful figure is bent over all because of mind games.

waking visions are not easily overcome, and in the fading of their presence a physical toll is imposed upon her. nearly brought the king to her knees! with one arm the raven-god grasps zoya feebly, the other splayed out to hold the next, solid thing. eivor trembles like an animal caught in the snow, and their face is just as white. eyes glazed, distant.

in softness uncharacteristic to them both, the witch-queen soothes back eivor’s wild hair, brushing away wisps clung to their face by sweat— and in response, her husband bows their face forward until it is rested wholly against zoya’s ribs.

yes, eivor hears her promise of safety … cradled in the dragon’s arms, eyes folding shut to hide in her, they believe it.

[allmonster]

[ SHIELD ]: the sender catches hold of the receiver's shoulder and draws them back and away from a threat, pulling them behind them for their safety. ( from adam to Olrox, ironic but he’d still do it !!! )

this trap was laid purposefully. they had been mentioned before, monster-hunters. adam knew of men killing something they do not understand, but this is men killing what they do understand— fearing it, desiring to see it eradicated, and tracking it with precision. the predators of predators. the vampire would be loathe to admit he has dealt with plenty in his long life, the worst of which being julia belmont ( the woman who murdered his late husband, eliciting hatred so deep in his heart that he chased her across the globe and killed her brutally before the eyes of her child ) … and would never desire adam be faced with them. he is a monster that is new, and if anyone could figure out a way to kill a new monster, it would be the hunters. his reasoning is selfish, most of all : for long months and seasons, adam yearned for the release of death— but now death clutches him in tender hands, and would not see him free of this world.

but today it is not the creature at risk, and olrox has found himself pinned between a rock and a hard place out of foolishness, really. panic. it’s been some time since there has been anyone in his life he feels if he lost, the world would turn on its head! and how petrifying that is. how utterly horrifying. that he would spin like a top to ensure another’s safety above his own. there’s been no one worthy of it in over a century.

the door is blessed, by many religions he presumes, each adding a layer of holiness that repels him so violently he cannot grasp its bars. the water beneath his boots is blessed too, but less-so. it burns him, but not enough to deter him. what’s worse is the sun, creeping ever closer from the skylight above the narrow structure ( once, perhaps a food silo, now used to torment ). it is closing in, eroding the shade of his hole.

pressing in against the stone, olrox’s spine and flesh conforms to its natural dips and divots as he wills himself to pass through it as a ghost might. the sun creeps ever closer until olrox, in preemptive grief, weeps :

❛❛ adam, forgive me! forgive me, i’m so sorry— ❜❜ but the laments turn into screams of fury, and the dying curses of an enraged monster in his mother tongue as the light begins to sear into his feet and legs, then his belly and chest. gods, the pain! soon to be engulfed in fire and ash, despite the misery of burning alive, olrox still thinks of him : the first man. his strange adam. olrox thinks of how sorry he is to be leaving him. the tears on his face dissolve into steam as he howls …

so loud and brutal are his agonies that he does not hear the iron door ripped off its hinges, nor does he fight the harsh and worried grasp that wrenches him back into darkness by the cloth of his shoulder. olrox is cast into shadow, familiar, yet for a brief moment he does not recognize what has occurred until they are both half-collapsed and the smoke of his searing flesh has begun to clear away.

clothes half-burned, bone exposed, viscera charred and gooing where it did not yet dissolve to dust— it must be excruciating, but he speaks still! and says only one thing :

❛❛ adam— adam, ❜❜ and it sounds just like a prayer of thanks. a whisper of relief, like a balm soothed over him.

tears streak clean lines down the vampire’s dirty face, and continue to fall even after he closes his eyes to rest. he’ll soon need blood to fully recover, but for now he is safe. adam is here.

[allmonster]

once again eivor and olrox got me like

[soulprompts]

THE SHOULDER TOUCH. ( A PROMPT LIST! )

i said i'd make them! i hope you enjoy these, and as always: DO NOT ADD, EDIT OR CLAIM THIS LIST AS YOUR OWN!

[ WAKEN ]: the sender touches the receiver's shoulder to waken them from a nap or sleep.

[ STILL ]: the sender places their hands on the visibly angry/upset receiver to try and restrain them.

[ STAY ]: the sender, noticing the receiver attempting to escape a meeting or a conversation, quietly rests a hand on their shoulder and pulls them back into their seat.

[ REST ]: the sender places a gentle but firm hand on a weakened/sick/injured receiver's shoulder to push them back into their bed to rest more.

[ PUNCH ]: the sender places a hand on the receiver to draw their attention away from another focus, and once they've turned around, the sender swings a punch at them in the moment of confusion.

[ PRIDE ]: the sender, having heard or seen the receiver successfully achieve a remarkable feat, places a hand on their shoulder to express their wordless pride in them.

[ HUG ]: the sender places their hands on the receiver's shoulders to yank them into a hug.

[ COMFORT ]: the sender, noticing a visibly upset receiver, solemnly moves to their side, and places a hand on their shoulder in an effort to comfort them.

[ SURPRISE ]: the sender, noticing an otherwise occupied receiver, moves forward silently and suddenly grabs their shoulder to startle them.

[ STUN ]: the sender, having been apart from the receiver for some time, makes an unexpected return and greets the unaware receiver with a hand on their shoulder.

[ TIDY ]: the sender reaches forward and lightly sweeps something from the receiver's shoulder.

[ WORRY ]: the sender grabs the receiver by the shoulders to take a good look at them for any sign of harm or injury.

[ ARM ]: the sender rests a hand on the receiver's shoulder, their arm draped around them in order to do so.

[ FOCUS ]: the sender, noticing the receiver has become distracted during a conversation, places a hand on their shoulder to redirect and focus their attention.

[ GOTCHA ]: the sender, noticing the receiver has unknowingly walked into the path of a source of danger, grabs them by the shoulder and hoists them back to safety.

[ PRAISE ]: the sender, having heard that the receiver has achieved great success in a task or accomplishment, gives them a proud pat and squeeze of the shoulder to convey their congratulations.

[ STEADY ]: the sender rests a hand on the shaken and panicked receiver's shoulder to steady and ground them.

[ CAUGHT ]: the sender plants a hand on the receiver's shoulder to stop them from fleeing a potential arrest or accusation.

[ DELIVER ]: the sender, about to deliver some bad news to the receiver, gently places a hand on the receiver's shoulder to stop them from running away from the bad news.

[ SHIELD ]: the sender catches hold of the receiver's shoulder and draws them back and away from a threat, pulling them behind them for their safety.

[ SOOTHE ]: the sender places their hands on the receiver's shoulders and begins to give them a massage.

[ LEVER ]: the sender, wanting to sit next to the receiver, places a hand on their shoulder to ease themselves to the space beside them.

[ HERE ]: the sender taps the receiver's shoulder to alert them to their presence.

[allmonster]

🫵 our barbies should kiss

[allmonster]

continued,

facade cracks, then. only two winters, he mourns. life picks and chooses patterns specific to the beholder. this was one he’d never wished to relive : a newborn monster, pinned by the world like a mouse in a steel trap. neck down. struggling for what? to be met with more pain? his brows knit and his full lips press into a line.

there is some comfort in seeing the next pattern. vengeance is a cleansing fire, though it is not easy to survive the burn. rage bursts like sparks from its path, the heat can chase away anything soft and familiar ( and olrox’s nose crinkles in displeasure at the mention of the mortal progenitor of all this pain. mankind does not belong in the roles of the gods )— adam need not be alone in this journey, should he choose to indulge in olrox’s presence past this moment of hospitality.

❛❛ i don’t know about teaching, but i can lead by example. you will have to find your own way to that self-acceptance, and it may not be as linear as you hope … but, adam, ❜❜ olrox pauses for the briefest of moments, only allowing himself a fraction of a second to entertain the thought that he might be overstepping. ❛❛ i’d like to help in other ways, too. i’ll tell you my story, then you may come to find that i could be a valuable chapter of yours. ❜❜ lifting his hand off his book, the vampire cards his long fingers through his obsidian hair, glossy in the firelight like the feathers of black birds : green and blue and purple, shining amongst the black.

❛❛ i was born a human in the year 1491, and died in 1521 with the fall of my city to conquerors from across the sea. amongst them, a man who brought a curse from his shores, too. vampirism, as far as i am aware, had not breached this side of the world until he turned me. i’d been a proud warrior, a soldier, a son, then suddenly i was a prisoner and the world was loud, and i was starving and hurting all the time. i wanted to die like my people had died, and i tried to kill myself. luys de toranço was my maker’s name. he held me captive for a decade, adam. far away from my home, floundering with no true control over my instincts, nor my bloodlust. i spent most of those years caged and filthy like an animal, but i taught myself the foreigners’ language … i withstood cruelty long enough to learn to read and write. i learned how to act like them, dress like them, and i pretended to forget where i came from, ❜❜ he explains, but there is some detachment to it, as though the recollection is of someone else’s life. olrox has tried to separate from the pain of the memories, so long ago, but living still fresh in his mind.

❛❛ fledglings are not meant to kill their vampiric parents, but in rage i overcame the bond that ties sire to spawn, and i killed him. i fought for my freedom, but when i had it i was lost again. i didn’t know the land i found myself in, i didn’t know how to survive, and found myself in another type of struggle. it took many more years to regain my balance in life, but i did— and i believe you will, too. if your creator must die first, then by all means, end it. you deserve a life outside of what he imagined for you, this human. you are above him. ❜❜ sincerity bursts from his chest as he says it.

❛❛ and you are more than what he made. ❜❜

[allmonster]

continued,

ears, pointed with grace and adorned in glittering, gold jewelry, hear all. each sense is focused upon @runaljod and his existence— such a large man, trying to make himself so small. how his intestines complain, how his heart beats strangely, how his eyes flit about, how there is both wonder on his face and uncertainty. olrox counts each breath adam takes, and by habit breathes with him ( though vampires are in no need of oxygen ). too, the elder monster notices that despite the evident hunger, there is no effort made to feed himself. curious.

as promised, the count sits attentively and listens in silence to the horrors uttered to him, firstly with displeasure, and then with heavy emotion. grief, perhaps. how very human, this despair.

and how gruesome his existence, this strange adam. there is nothing worn on olrox’s angular face that betrays the thoughts of pity, of bewilderment, of learning something new. passive and practiced is the vampire, remaining as poised as ever, projecting a picture of elegance where he sits and … without prejudice, he concludes that this creature was borne of violence and death, of some rotten creator’s whim. the desecration of corpses ( and how many ?! ) to birth a new monster and then abandon it? the concept is vile! obscene. humans and their fucking egos, believing they have the right to meddle in forces far beyond them. striving to achieve feats they should never reach in lives as short as theirs …

olrox knows death, and he knows what it’s like to suffer at the hands of a maker. over three centuries later, he can still feel the life leave him, the pain of teeth in his neck. how his eyes blackened, watching his city burn to ash, and as strong a warrior as he was— no amount of struggling or fighting saved him in that moment. he did die, cold and alone, with a monster at his throat drinking, and drinking, and drinking. he can still hear the swallows, voracious gulps. he remembers every agony he ever suffered at the hands of luys de toranço. the sun, peeling away his flesh despite his shrieked pleas to make it stop. the physical beatings. the mocking laughter. the starvation. the isolation. the—

adam’s gaze returned to olrox, he blinks dark lashes ( long enough to shade his eyes ) and for some time, they sit and look at each other while his host searches for the right words, the correct sentiment. what could be said to soothe him? adam is in the throes of the struggle for life. a created monster clawing its way through the world to find purpose and similarity. that is innate in all of them : the desire to know belonging. a human trait most never shed.

by the gods, olrox works to swallow past the lump in his throat, wrought in commiseration … but he cannot allow himself to cry for this creature. there are questions still to be answered. finally, he speaks, and oh, is it soft :

❛❛ there is no shame in being a monster, adam, ❜❜ he murmurs, heartfelt and quiet. ❛❛ i understand some of this story more intimately than you may realize … and, i am sorry for the misery you’ve endured. may i ask if you know how old you are? how many seasons have you been through? ❜❜ the questioning certainly is nowhere near complete, but olrox hesitates to make it feel like an interrogation.

❛❛ ah, please eat something. i’ve nearly had my fill of blood, this food will go to waste. ❜❜ and he waits then, too. allowing adam to take what he wants or needs. glancing down, olrox’s fingertips fiddle with the edges of the book’s binding in his lap.

he has known of humans with similar capabilities : forgemasters. they uses corpses, too, though not always from war— and they create beasts with them by the science of magic. nothing like adam. most of those creatures are not wholly sentient, or at least not conscious of what occurs around them ( which olrox would consider a mercy ). they do not speak, they obey their master mindlessly, and they die again nearly as quickly as they’d died the first time.

olrox doesn’t mention this, and still believes adam’s own conclusion to be true … that he is the first and only of his kind.

❛❛ like all vampires, i had a maker also. he was wicked, cruel and sadistic because he could be. i killed him when i was strong enough. is that your intentions with your creator? ❜❜

[allmonster]

🫵 our barbies should kiss