All Things Lexi

Diary Ramblings

[allthingslexi]

November 20, 2025

Dear Diary,

It has been a long week, and it's only Thursday. Student Council meetings, cheer practice after school with Ashley, and a girl's basketball home game. Kay plays, so we all went. She did great too! Scored several points, so we were all proud of her.

Today was senior picture day. It is still crazy for me to think that we're all seniors this year. Also, that my parents won't be there to see me graduate. I'm not ready to think about that yet. I woke up a bit earlier this morning to make sure I could do my makeup and hair. These pictures will be a defining moment of our high school careers, so it's important to look stunning. I'm normally a no makeup girl except for when cheering, so I got a lot of compliments today in passing. Even Nick, who has seen me dressed up many times, told me that I looked "beyond perfect".

The football banquet was last night, so instead of coming to youth group at church with us girls, Nick, Xavier, and Chase were at that. Lucas was working and had the car, so Ashley picked me up. We met Kaylee there. We had a good time. I hate that Luke has to miss Wednesday night group because of work, but at least he gets to be there on Sundays. I told him that he had to let his boss know that Sundays were out unless he could put in a few hours of the afternoon after Sunday worship, so he heads there for the lunch rush and works only five hours so he doesn't have to take a break then comes home to wash up for youth group. He's taken on so much. Sometimes I feel like the worst big sister because Luke is pulling so much weight, and here I am still focused on cheer and extracurriculars at school and not helping out at all with income. Am I a terrible person?

[allthingslexi]

November 16, 2025

Dear Diary,

I had a great time camping at the lake house this weekend. The boys behaved themselves and didn't get drunk. We played Clue on Friday night. I won as I usually do. I am a master at that game. We also got a movie in. Ashley, Makayla, and I managed to get the boys to agree to watch a romantic comedy. It's an old one but a good one. We watched The Jane Austen Book Club. The boys weren't into it as much, but that's alright.

We all went to church today and caught up with some friends. Lucas did fine on his own over the weekend. He had to work, but Xav took care of him like he said he would. I think the two of them are becoming good friends since they started working together. I'm glad. Luke needs good people in his life. I know he's been trying hard to keep his grades up while picking up hours at work, but I know my brother. I can tell he's still struggling with Mom and Dad being gone. I can't blame him. I am too.

When we were at the lake house, college applications got brought up. I don't know yet what that is going to look like for me. Luke will be 17 through part of the year, and I know there are people who will look in on him, but can I really leave him and go off to university with everyone else? I planned on finishing up what would be an Associate's degree at the local community college over the summer then transferring in the fall to the university, but maybe I should take a year off to be with Luke, or at least a semester until he turns 18. I don't think the others really understand the difficult decision I'm having to make. I want us to go to university together and graduate together and do all the things together! I want to be roomies with Ashley and Makayla and go to campus parties and get drunk before big tests! I want all of that for us.

But then things changed. It won't be like this forever.

[allthingslexi]

November 14, 2025

Dear Diary,

It's the weekend, and I am excited because we're going to go to Ashley's parent's lake house tonight and spend the weekend camping. It's supposed to be nice this weekend too, which means we'll get some good outdoors time. Carter is going to be bringing the drinks, and don't worry, we'll be responsible. Besides, Ashley's parents said it was ok as long as we're smart about it. Honestly, I don't like drinking. It's not my thing, but how can you have a camping weekend around here without them?

Classes are starting to get more intense, and now that we're gearing up for competitive cheer and basketball season, trying to manage practice and games along with invitationals and studies is going to be a lot. But I can do it.

I worry about Lucas though. He's a Junior this year, which means SATs. He's also trying to hold down a job to help pay the bills. I told him that I wouldn't cheer this year if it meant that he could focus solely on school, but like the stubborn little brother that he is, he told me no. I hate to say this, but I'm glad that he didn't want me to quit cheer. With Mom and Dad gone, it's really helping me to focus on something else.

I miss them. It's only been seven months, but it still feels strange without them here, especially now that I'm the adult. Although, Luke has stated that he's the man of the house now, so it's his job to focus on the money and stuff. Dad would be proud of him, but it's not fair. He's 16. He shouldn't have to think about any of that yet.

Since Xav isn't coming to the lake house with us this weekend, he said he would look in on Luke. I know he'll be fine, and like Nick said, I deserve to have fun too. It's just a weekend.