sunshine

“I'm one of those people that you have to keep your eye on or I'll wander off into the woods and forget to come back” - Jack White

[9710144]

[hermajestyx]

[metamorphesque]

   — Susan Sontag, Reborn: Journals and Notebooks, 1947-1964

[text ID: I must change my life so that I can live it, not wait for it.]

[virtuallyinsane]

[ps1]

Quiraing

[renamonkalou]

Spring is in full swing | Sergey Bragin

[yasyaskovsk]

📸ig: ox.pastel

[resimdekigozyasi]

[oteuex-deactivated20221017]

[mentalhealth]

by peopleiveloved

[1980vibes]

[darlingirl]

[glowithin-deactivated20220219]

Avoid being accessible all the time. Get off of social media, and away from others more often. Invest time in connecting with yourself and pay attention to what you need. Evaluate the things in life that are causing stress, and reconsider the value of them. Become your main priority.

[resimdekigozyasi]

[allthisrage]

it’s been a rough few weeks/months for me.

in the beginning of february, i found out my dad was starting cancer treatments again. he didn’t tell anyone it was even back until the week before he was starting treatment. it was tough for me. the feelings became compounded because i learned the gene mutation that my dad has to cause him to be more likely for all these different cancers, i tested for and found out around the same time i, too, have. it has made my stomach turn and want to rot. 

my dad had been struggling to breathe for awhile now, and when he talked to the doctors, they brushed him off as if it was allergies. he would use allergy medication, and after some time, he went back saying he still couldn’t breathe. they then just prescribed him antibiotics, which also had no results.

it wasn’t until recently they finally took a goddamn look while he spent a few days in the hospital STILL struggling to breathe that they found a growth in his nose. they tried to get a biopsy without surgery only to determine that it was too dangerous. they rescheduled for a biopsy through surgery. we were supposed to find out results last friday, but my parents got sick with covid, forcing them to miss my dad’s appointment. 

then the dreaded call yesterday morning, my sister told me they determined it was cancerous. they couldn’t fully remove a good amount of it because it would be unsafe. every time, i find out more, i feel this big punch in the gut. i have kept this to myself, but i’m struggling. i’m hurting. i’m so goddamn scared. 

the journey my dad has had with cancer has been rough each time. watching your dad go through something and lose a part of himself each time is fucking gut wrenching. i just don’t know where to turn. i want to keep a strong attitude going into this as now he has two different forms of cancer, but i’m having a rough go at it as well. i’m not ready to lose my dad. i’m not ready to go through this. 

[bostnmnr]

[yesdarlingido]

An authentic and genuine life grows like a sturdy tree. And like a tree, it grows slowly. Every time you make a different and better decision, it grows a little. Every time you choose to do the right thing, even when nobody would find out otherwise, it grows a little. Every time you act with compassion, relinquish your right to strike back, take a courageous stand, admit fault or accept responsibility, it grows a little.

Steve Goodier