I Haven't Given Up This Far

Landon Flint, current ex-track runner, personal trainer. If you want to learn more, I guess that's up to you isn't it?

[almost-had-the-gold]

Left with the note:

Let me know if you would prefer the necklace. 

Thank you for all you're help. Even if you did invite drunks into my home and got cheetos on the dog..

Maggie

[crafty-croft-blog-blog-blog]

[pm] Dead.

[almost-had-the-gold]

[pm] Oh that's I'm sorry for your loss Peyton

[pragmaticsurvivora-deactivated2]

[pm] Would you like a nice pretty pendant as well?

[almost-had-the-gold]

[pm] Well, if you're offering...

Nah, I'm not a necklace guy when it comes to jewelry. Although if you wanted to get me a nice sports ring or something I wouldn't object.

[pragmaticsurvivora-deactivated2]

[pm] That sounds like Anya. I’ll arrange something for her. Thank God for online shopping and home delivery. 

[almost-had-the-gold]

[pm] Yeah, saves a lot of time and effort.

Huh, if emerald works well with green eyes, I wonder how sapphire would work with blue.

[pragmaticsurvivora-deactivated2]

[pm] Her Venegance Amulet from D’Hoffryn?  Well, I’m not getting her anything that bears a resemblance to that particular trinket, that’s for sure.

But I suppose something with emeralds is an easy enough gift to get her….

[almost-had-the-gold]

[pm] I think? Not sure, she just said and I quote "Ditch the medal, I want an emerald. My necklace had an emerald, and it looked really good on me, green brings out my eyes.", so I assume anything with an emerald would work.

[crafty-croft-blog-blog-blog]

[pm] If you can track werewolves that’d be bloody wonderful. If not, then no, I’m good.

[almost-had-the-gold]

[pm] I don't think I'd be much help with searching for Oz, I wish you luck with finding him though.

[crafty-croft-blog-blog-blog]

[pm] Yup.

[almost-had-the-gold]

[pm] Let me know if you need anything or if there's anything I can help with.

[crafty-croft-blog-blog-blog]

Yup.

[almost-had-the-gold]

[pm] So, you're still around, that's good. 

[get-back-in-it-blog]

[pm] I want a big ass medal. With diamonds. Scratch that, make those emeralds. I like emeralds. You know what? Ditch the medal, I want an emerald. My necklace had an emerald, and it looked really good on me, green brings out my eyes.

You should check the hospitals. Or ask the police, they’re trying to identify the victims. And keep calling them, if they’re alive they’ll probably call you back eventually. Do you have a picture? Since I’m already looking for Oz I can look for them too.

[almost-had-the-gold]

[pm] An emerald, got it. I'll let Maggie know.

My father had his phone turned off, my parents are okay aside from some property damage. Thanks for your help though.

[almost-had-the-gold]

Phone Call @ Father

Landon: [Picked up his phone and hit the redial button. He had already tried numerous times after getting back to Maggie's, and hitting one button seemed more efficient than seven; although he had the number memorized, redial was quicker. With each and every ring he winced, it was more and more unlikely that he'd pick up. Fifth ring...one more and it would go to voice-mail. Then all of a sudden he heard a click.]

Luke: [Once he reached the phone, he recognized the number and answered as fast as he could, relieved his son was still alive, but he kept as low a tone as ever when speaking] Landon?

Landon: [Let out a huge sigh of relief at hearing his fathers voice. He had already been preparing himself for the worst.] Dad? You're okay? Is mom?

Luke: I'm fine, and so is your mother. We had some things break, and the estate needs to be looked at from all the shaking, but we're fine.

Landon: [Smiled

Luke: So...you're alright as well.

Landon: [Shrugged and then gave a light sigh] Alright is a broad term, but I'd guess I'm close enough to it. So, how come you weren't picking up the phone until now?

Luke: [Raised a brow] Were you calling? The phone was turned off.

Landon: Oh [Starts laughing at himself and rubs his forehead] I should have guessed it was something that simple.

Luke: Wait, Landon, did you think...did you think that I...?

Landon: [Rolled his eyes a slight bit. Good old dad, was still as dense as ever.] Well, after what all happened, is it really that far of a stretch to assume that? I was about to go check hospitals!

Luke: ...No, it isn't much of a stretch, you're right. I should have called. [He cleared his throat and took a deep breath then continued speaking] Listen...you were right, you just sprung this at me and your mother all at once and I just-

Landon: [Cuts his father off, smiling gently.] It's alright. We can talk about this later; I'm low on sleep and I've had morons try my patience today. I just...wanted to make sure you and mom were okay. We can talk more later, yeah? Maybe I can...pay a visit after I've taken care of some things?

Luke: [Stammered at first but then cleared his throat once more.] Yeah, that sounds good.

Landon: [Chuckled a slight bit to himself; Not only were his parents okay, but he might actually be on the verge of making things civil with them once more, and all it took was an almost-apocolypse.] Alright, I'll call you when things ease up.

[get-back-in-it-blog]

[pm] That doesn’t make any sense: there’s no reason I should care whether or not other people are feeling as lost as I am. But I still do care, so I guess you have a point.

I don’t want my immortality necklace back, not even on non-evil terms. But I want a medal, yes. Do you think I should ask Maggie? I’m pretty sure she should give me a medal, I’ve been nothing but helpful to her the last couple of days, and she can afford a metal. I deserve a plaque at least.

You should call your family. If you want to know how they are you should ask. This is another stupid human custom I’ll never get: why won’t you just talk to each other about what’s going on in your minds? It’d make things easier. Humans are stupid.

[almost-had-the-gold]

[pm] Tell you what, how about I recommend a medal for you? You shouldn't have to ask for one after all you have done. I'm sure with her resources something can be done. What kind of medal do you want?

I did try calling. Nothing's gotten back to me yet. So I don't know. Who knows, maybe they were on a plane or something and haven't seen the messages yet.

[get-back-in-it-blog]

[pm] Being immortal has something to do with it, but that’s not why Vengeance demons do what they do. Spike is immortal, technically (he can be killed, but so can Vengeance demons, it’s just harder). Like I said, it’s hard to explain.

They become demons while they’re hurting, suffering and full of all kind of… Well, vengeful feelings. In that situation they don’t mind hurting others, because no matter what they do people won’t ever hurt as much as they did. Besides, their victims deserve their punishment. Or that’s what D’Hoffryn makes you think. That’s how it starts. Then you spend most of your time in Arashmaharr, so you don’t see humanity or this world all that often. You see wronged people and you punish the ones who made them suffer, and that’s all humans are to you: victims and cheating bastards. So you don’t care about them anymore, you despise them even, and that’s why you don’t mind all the killing and torturing and starting the Russian Revolution becomes just something to brag about in the office. That’s how they turn into the bad guys. Or, well, that’s how it was for me.

In the end, you don’t even think you’re human anymore, you’re something else, something better and wiser. When I was a demon humans were unimpressive and dumb: they’re fragile, weak, slaves to their own feelings, and they have such a short lifespan… Why do they bother? And now you’re telling me they don’t even have a reason, they keep going on… Just because. It’s stupid. And I’m stupid too, because now I am weak and I will die anyways in a few decades but I keep trying like the rest of you and I don’t understand why.

I’m not comforting her. I can’t comfort people. Something about me being tactless. Personally I think I’m showing a lot of tact by giving her space, but maybe that’s just me.

[almost-had-the-gold]

[pm] Well, if it's any consolation; there is one thing that keeps us going.

It's the fact of knowing that you're not alone. Pain is strange, we hate it and wish it would go away but it does something more than make us feel bad; it unites us. That's what my father told me after I injured my leg--while me and him were still on good terms, that is. I didn't know what the hell he meant, I just wanted the pain gone and wanted things to go my way, you know?

But that's not how things work out, life rarely does what we want it to. Right now is a pretty damn good example. We all haul ass to save the world from ending, and what do we get as thanks? This. Not a jolly happy ending, not a big fancy party, not some medal, not some people calling us champions, not a miracle to my leg or not you getting your immortality necklace back on non-evil terms; just this. This big mess of a planet where a lot of people can't make up from down right now--me being one of them.

I haven't heard a thing from my family since the whole hellmouth fiasco(they may be alive, they may all have died a bloody torturous death from a vampire or freak demon for all I know), my workplace is trashed from the quakes, and I'm nearly at my wits end from lack of sleep and dealing with morons all day; but I'm still going, and I will keep going until my body doesn't let me. And do you know why? It's because I know I'm not the only one that's feeling like this right now. A lot of us are having that "what do we do now?" feeling, some worse than others. But we are still not alone.

That...is what keeps me going. I don't know if that helps you any, or if it won't matter at all, but that is my "why". 

[get-back-in-it-blog]

[pm] It’s not like vampires. Vengeance demons keep their soul, they just don’t care about humans or this world even. I could try to explain that to you, but I doubt you’d get it: you’ve been a human all your life, after all.

You should tell that to Buffy: Dawn’s loss probably hurt her a lot. I’m glad I don’t have my empathic powers anymore, I can’t imagine what she’s feeling. She died for Dawn once.

[almost-had-the-gold]

[pm] I guess being immortal just kind of takes away your worries on things? If I had to pinpoint it, that's what I would go with.

I would tell that to Buffy, but I don't know if it'd do any good right now, I might just make it worse by even bringing it up. Plus, she has Spike and her friends she has known for years like you to comfort her, I doubt I'd really do anything that couldn't be done better. I'll probably tell her in a day or so though. I just want to give time first.

[get-back-in-it-blog]

[pm] Things were different with the old Council, I doubt Slayers were eased into it. Some Potentials started their training at a very young age. Then again I’ve never been close to Slayers before Buffy so I can’t be sure.

No, they’re all searching. Or mourning Dawn. I’m searching and mourning too. It’s unsettling, really: I’ve seen enough death and pain -most of it caused by me- in my life, I should be used to it but I’m not. And I want to move on and think about other things, but I can’t. How can humans stand it?

Yes, of course. I like bossing people around and telling them what to do.

[almost-had-the-gold]

[pm] What was it like in your past days? How come you didn't feel it then? Are Vengeance demons like Vampires with the not having a soul thing?

I don't think there's a reason behind getting through it. We just do. There isn't a why; it's just something we make our way through because we have to. There's no other way. Life just goes on, and we're along for the ride. You used to be a demon that's been around far longer than any humans; you would know if there were some big picture behind it all far better than me or any other person would.

For what it's worth, I'm sorry for your loss Anya. I didn't really know Dawn but, she was a good person.

[get-back-in-it-blog]

[pm] She can’t rest. Slayers never rest. Have you seen Jayan or Kennedy? They’re always training. Sure, Hallie is not a slayer, but it’s close enough. Then again, maybe it’s better she got to catch her breath… I just came back to sleep a bit and pick her up, I need her to track Oz, she’ll need her strength.

[almost-had-the-gold]

[pm] Well, I'm sure they weren't like that the instant they became Slayers, they were probably eased into it. And Hallie is still pretty new, right? 

Nobody has been able to find Oz yet? Are you sure you want to see what happened to him? People seemed pretty sure that

Okay. You let me know if there's anything else I can do, alright?

[pragmaticsurvivora-deactivated2]

[pm] What? Oh for crying out loud. 

Don’t shoot the homeless people; I’ll be down in a minute. 

[almost-had-the-gold]

[pm] Please. They just spilled a bit of liquor on her; I have no clue how I'm going to explain this to Anya.

I guess I should go give her a bath.

[pragmaticsurvivora-deactivated2]

almost-had-the-gold replied to your post:[pm] Maggie, don’t freak out, but I think I might’ve accidentally brought in some people that were homeless /before/ the earthquakes.

[pm] Does she take /drunk/ homeless people? Because one of the guys got into the liquor cabinet and started sharing.

[pm] What? No. I draw the line at the bloody liquor cabinet. I have had quite enough of all of this bloody insanity. I’m coming down to sort it out. 

[almost-had-the-gold]

[pm] Please do, because if I have to it won't be pretty. 

One of them keeps calling Hallie a mop and is trying to find an attachable stick. I'm this close to getting the arrows out again.