Anya Jenkins

Regular human. Owner of the Spellbox. Really patriotic American. England is great too, of course, even though it's smaller and much more boring. sc_online_t(795001,"Happy Customer(s)","ff454e"); Tumblr Users Online Counter

[guywithaneyepun]

[pm] I have stopped! I fell asleep after the battle and hated myself because Oz could have gotten worse… Kinda ironic now, right? A funeral isn’t going to arrange itself. I promise no evil from me. Just anger. Lots of that. Keep scaring the dog.

I’ll… Try. But I keep seeing them both at night, Anya. And it just sucks.

[get-back-in-it-blog]

[pm] I know someone has to plan the funeral, but it doesn't have to be you. Not all on your own, at least. There are people who could help you. And stop scaring the dog, or she'll start peeing all over your stuff, according to the dog-training book I read after I got Hallie.

Them both? You mean Dawn? I thought only Buffy could see Dawn. Then again, she sees her during the day too, from what I understood.

[guywithaneyepun]

[pm] If I were a demon I’d probably summon one of those heart eating spiders. Yeah, I guess it is.  Hate England.

Not now, but maybe soon. Too much to arrange right now. 

[get-back-in-it-blog]

[pm] I don't like it either, but this is not England's fault, people die on every Hellmouth.

You should stop. You looked tired at the battle, more so than during the other apocalypses we've seen. How long has it been since you've had a good night's sleep? You can't always be the one digging the grave. You did that with Buffy and it broke you. So stop. At least for a while: overworking yourself won't bring Oz back, nothing will. Well, there are some rituals, but they're usually evil. I don't know much about them, you should ask Willow, but I'm pretty sure trying one of those would be a bad idea. Buffy wasn't happy when we did that.

[guywithaneyepun]

get-back-in-it replied to your post:What do you think of Oz?

[pm] He /was/ brilliant?

[pm] Yeah. Until the Prime Minister cut out his heart.

[get-back-in-it-blog]

[pm] I see. The Minister got what he deserved. Well, not really, if I were still a demon I would have done a lot worse than just cutting him in two, that's not actually as painful as it might look. I'm not saying it's a walk in the park, but... Yeah, well, the point is, he can't hurt anyone anymore. That's a comforting thought, right?

Do you need to punch a wall now? The offer still stands.

[get-back-in-it-blog]

[An emerald and diamond necklace set in white gold, left for Anya with the note: Anya,

You've been an enormous help to me over these past days and a great part of it I couldn't have done without you, truly. You're a very dear friend and a valued comrade-in-arms. 

I know this isn't quite a medal, but I hope you like it regardless. 

With love,

Maggie]

[awatchersdiary-blog]

Light In Dark Places || Giles & Anya

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[awatchersdiary-blog]

[pm] Oh for goodness sake. It’s not about anything hellmouth related aside from the fact you bloody kissed me on one.

[get-back-in-it-blog]

[pm] It's not my fault you were standing on one, if you don't want to be kissed on a Hellmouth don't stand on a Hellmouth looking all alive and heroic and ravishing like that.

Fine, we'll talk about it once I get there.

[awatchersdiary-blog]

[pm] It’s not ominous. It’s the least ominous thing about— well, everything that’s happened recently.

[get-back-in-it-blog]

[pm] We live on a Hellmouth that's been recently opened, everything is potentially ominous, you of all people should know that.

[get-back-in-it-blog]

[Left in Anya's Room at Maggie's with a note attached]

I went out shopping earlier and thought I would get something for Hallie. If she likes them, you can use them for positive reinforcement with the anti-bunny training, and if she doesn't like them; well at least it didn't come out of your wallet.

Yes I did come into your room without permission to put this here but you'll get over it.

-Landon

P.S. These only help with training dogs; not people.

[awatchersdiary-blog]

[pm] Buffy and Spike have been staying here but if you don’t mind that… You’re more than welcome to come by. There are some other things we should probably uh, discuss, as well.

[get-back-in-it-blog]

[pm] I don't mind Buffy and Spike. As long as they're not eating all my food. Well, it's your food, but you bought it for me and they still can't eat it all.

I'll be there in a bit. For the record, I don't like it when people say there are 'other things they should probably discuss as well'. It sounds ominous. And it's usually what comes before an unpleasant and/or awkward discussion that often leads to pain and possibly vengeance.

[awatchersdiary-blog]

[pm] We can’t find her a new body. That’s… terrible. And immoral. I’m researching as best I can but I’m struggling to find any similar cases. They key aspect… I don’t know that it was ever done with anyone but Dawn and I’m… not sure we should be pushing Willow into practicing any more potentially dangerous magic, now, or ever. And I certainly don’t trust a coven I don’t even know with Dawn’s life. Or afterlife. 

No. I’m not leaving.

[get-back-in-it-blog]

[pm] I wasn't saying we should put her in someone else's body, I'm over doing that kind of things. What I meant was, we could build her a new body from scratch. Like in that movie with the robot cop. But... You're probably right about Willow and the coven.

I'm very happy about that. Everyone is worried and sad and stressed out, I doubt anyone would have time to cheer me up if you left. Even Maggie looks like she ran out of energy.

I could come over and help you with research. I'm supposed to be looking for Oz, but... I'm starting to think it's hopeless. And apparently Hallie is a bad tracker anyways. I think I could be more useful there. Besides you told me you'd buy some cheese, I want it. There are lots of people staying at Maggie's, and they can't read since they keep ignoring my labels and eating my food. Besides, it's too crowded and loud here. Your place is quiet and more comfortable.

[awatchersdiary-blog]

[pm] It’s something to do with the monks… how they made her. Part of her soul has to remain until Buffy is gone. Because Buffy is the original, the source, it didn’t work the other way around. I’m trying to find a solution. I don’t want her to be trapped in a life where she can do nothing but watch and not be seen or heard by anyone but her sister. It would be easier to just let her go. A half life is no life at all. 

Who says I’ll be building anything or leaving? There’s an academy department in the London office you know, but I don’t know what these… militants are planning to do with it.

[get-back-in-it-blog]

[pm] Well, we can either cut the bond somehow or find a new body for her to inhabit. The tricky part would be making sure we don't split Dawn's soul in half, I guess. That's never pleasant. We should ask Willow, she's the expert on these things. Or I could ask the coven who brought me back. They weren't the nicest witches ever, but they managed to resurrect me fine. Sure, they wanted Anyanka and all they got was plain human me but... Maybe they could help? Though it'll probably cost us. Like I said, they were looking for Anyanka, I doubt they're the kind of selfless people who'd do something like that for free.

So you're not leaving. Good, I can't focus on packing right now.

[almost-had-the-gold]

[pm] Tell you what, how about I recommend a medal for you? You shouldn’t have to ask for one after all you have done. I’m sure with her resources something can be done. What kind of medal do you want?

I did try calling. Nothing’s gotten back to me yet. So I don’t know. Who knows, maybe they were on a plane or something and haven’t seen the messages yet.

[get-back-in-it-blog]

[pm] I want a big ass medal. With diamonds. Scratch that, make those emeralds. I like emeralds. You know what? Ditch the medal, I want an emerald. My necklace had an emerald, and it looked really good on me, green brings out my eyes.

You should check the hospitals. Or ask the police, they're trying to identify the victims. And keep calling them, if they're alive they'll probably call you back eventually. Do you have a picture? Since I'm already looking for Oz I can look for them too.

[awatchersdiary-blog]

get-back-in-it replied to your post:[pm] What now?

[pm] There’s going to be a MIRA re-vote. And Oz is still gone and Dawn died and my whole body hurts and I don’t know what to do about any of these things. You always know what to do, so… What now?

[pm] Oh. I see. Those things. Anya..

Dawn is a ghost. Or something resembling one. I’m not sure what we’re going to— Nobody but Buffy can see her at the moment. So there’s that. There are search parties looking for Oz. And I’m not sure about this military thing, either. Perhaps I’ll see about becoming a teacher or something, going to one of the watcher’s academies, if they still let us have them.

[get-back-in-it-blog]

[pm] Dawn can't be a ghost. Ghosts usually have some sort of unfinished business, and I don't think Dawn did. Or they get summoned, but I hope Buffy and the others didn't pull a stupid like that. Or they die a supernatural death, and Dawn died because an uber-vamp feed on her, that's very natural. She's not a ghost. Of course she wasn't really a human to begin with, so maybe that made things different.

A watcher's academy? But I don't want you to leave! Where will you build this stupid school anyways?

[almost-had-the-gold]

[pm] Well, if it’s any consolation; there is one thing that keeps us going.

It’s the fact of knowing that you’re not alone. Pain is strange, we hate it and wish it would go away but it does something more than make us feel bad; it unites us. That’s what my father told me after I injured my leg—while me and him were still on good terms, that is. I didn’t know what the hell he meant, I just wanted the pain gone and wanted things to go my way, you know?

But that’s not how things work out, life rarely does what we want it to. Right now is a pretty damn good example. We all haul ass to save the world from ending, and what do we get as thanks? This. Not a jolly happy ending, not a big fancy party, not some medal, not some people calling us champions, not a miracle to my leg or not you getting your immortality necklace back on non-evil terms; just this. This big mess of a planet where a lot of people can’t make up from down right now—me being one of them.

I haven’t heard a thing from my family since the whole hellmouth fiasco(they may be alive, they may all have died a bloody torturous death from a vampire or freak demon for all I know), my workplace is trashed from the quakes, and I’m nearly at my wits end from lack of sleep and dealing with morons all day; but I’m still going, and I will keep going until my body doesn’t let me. And do you know why? It’s because I know I’m not the only one that’s feeling like this right now. A lot of us are having that “what do we do now?” feeling, some worse than others. But we are still not alone.

That…is what keeps me going. I don’t know if that helps you any, or if it won’t matter at all, but that is my “why”. 

[get-back-in-it-blog]

[pm] That doesn't make any sense: there's no reason I should care whether or not other people are feeling as lost as I am. But I still do care, so I guess you have a point.

I don't want my immortality necklace back, not even on non-evil terms. But I want a medal, yes. Do you think I should ask Maggie? I'm pretty sure she should give me a medal, I've been nothing but helpful to her the last couple of days, and she can afford a metal. I deserve a plaque at least.

You should call your family. If you want to know how they are you should ask. This is another stupid human custom I'll never get: why won't you just talk to each other about what's going on in your minds? It'd make things easier. Humans are stupid.

[almost-had-the-gold]

[pm] I guess being immortal just kind of takes away your worries on things? If I had to pinpoint it, that’s what I would go with.

I would tell that to Buffy, but I don’t know if it’d do any good right now, I might just make it worse by even bringing it up. Plus, she has Spike and her friends she has known for years like you to comfort her, I doubt I’d really do anything that couldn’t be done better. I’ll probably tell her in a day or so though. I just want to give time first.

[get-back-in-it-blog]

[pm] Being immortal has something to do with it, but that's not why Vengeance demons do what they do. Spike is immortal, technically (he can be killed, but so can Vengeance demons, it's just harder). Like I said, it's hard to explain.

They become demons while they're hurting, suffering and full of all kind of... Well, vengeful feelings. In that situation they don't mind hurting others, because no matter what they do people won't ever hurt as much as they did. Besides, their victims deserve their punishment. Or that's what D'Hoffryn makes you think. That's how it starts. Then you spend most of your time in Arashmaharr, so you don't see humanity or this world all that often. You see wronged people and you punish the ones who made them suffer, and that's all humans are to you: victims and cheating bastards. So you don't care about them anymore, you despise them even, and that's why you don't mind all the killing and torturing and starting the Russian Revolution becomes just something to brag about in the office. That's how they turn into the bad guys. Or, well, that's how it was for me.

In the end, you don't even think you're human anymore, you're something else, something better and wiser. When I was a demon humans were unimpressive and dumb: they're fragile, weak, slaves to their own feelings, and they have such a short lifespan... Why do they bother? And now you're telling me they don't even have a reason, they keep going on... Just because. It's stupid. And I'm stupid too, because now I am weak and I will die anyways in a few decades but I keep trying like the rest of you and I don't understand why.

I'm not comforting her. I can't comfort people. Something about me being tactless. Personally I think I'm showing a lot of tact by giving her space, but maybe that's just me.

[almost-had-the-gold]

[pm] What was it like in your past days? How come you didn’t feel it then? Are Vengeance demons like Vampires with the not having a soul thing?

I don’t think there’s a reason behind getting through it. We just do. There isn’t a why; it’s just something we make our way through because we have to. There’s no other way. Life just goes on, and we’re along for the ride. You used to be a demon that’s been around far longer than any humans; you would know if there were some big picture behind it all far better than me or any other person would.

For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for your loss Anya. I didn’t really know Dawn but, she was a good person.

[get-back-in-it-blog]

[pm] It's not like vampires. Vengeance demons keep their soul, they just don't care about humans or this world even. I could try to explain that to you, but I doubt you'd get it: you've been a human all your life, after all.

You should tell that to Buffy: Dawn's loss probably hurt her a lot. I'm glad I don't have my empathic powers anymore, I can't imagine what she's feeling. She died for Dawn once.

[almost-had-the-gold]

[pm] Well, I’m sure they weren’t like that the instant they became Slayers, they were probably eased into it. And Hallie is still pretty new, right? 

Nobody has been able to find Oz yet? Are you sure you want to see what happened to him? People seemed pretty sure that

Okay. You let me know if there’s anything else I can do, alright?

[get-back-in-it-blog]

[pm] Things were different with the old Council, I doubt Slayers were eased into it. Some Potentials started their training at a very young age. Then again I've never been close to Slayers before Buffy so I can't be sure.

No, they're all searching. Or mourning Dawn. I'm searching and mourning too. It's unsettling, really: I've seen enough death and pain -most of it caused by me- in my life, I should be used to it but I'm not. And I want to move on and think about other things, but I can't. How can humans stand it?

Yes, of course. I like bossing people around and telling them what to do.