Red

I'll fight my depression -- or die trying. Too old for this shit. Straight twenty-thirteen year old guy,  still growing older. I'm into martial arts. Drawing. Art. Beauty. Fitness. Philosophy. Science... Life, and death.

[almostsomeoneinteresting-blog]

Seeing a pattern...

Great monday. Fine tuesday. Okay wednesday. Bad friday. Awful saturday. Stiill awake 3:30 AM when I’m supposed to take care of the kids from 6AM sunday. ... My pyramid of current needs seems to be:

-Affection -Sex -Love -Friends -Sleep -Water -Food ...from most important, to least -- because this happens every freaking weekend Love is hard to find... but why is it so damn hard to find people who tolerates your presence, and includes you in their lives? I feel like the point of no return, last chance of starting the return to a social life, was something like ten years ago. *Sigh* Feeling -9/10 Alone, unwanted, helpless, bad influence on my children, bad friend -- because none of them ever tries to include me... But I love my kids, at the very least -- and they *need* me.

[shencomix]

Image Link

[almostsomeoneinteresting-blog]

That feeling, when life has forgotten to screw you over in a long while, and you realize nothing bad is coming, this time... and you actually miss your problems, because you don’t have experience doing normal stuff, and normal life is scarier than fucked up life. *Sigh*

[shencomix]

[iglovequotes]

http://iglovequotes.net/

[almostsomeoneinteresting-blog]

And then try again, with your left hand because you’re tired of holding the phone, and somehow manage to press Video Call with your pinky. and your life is over.

[wordsnquotes]

Two types of people who can’t look at you in the eyes: Someone trying to hide a lie, And someone trying to hide a love.

Unknown (via wordsnquotes)

[shencomix]

[almostsomeoneinteresting-blog]

Sp bloody true. ^______^

[almostsomeoneinteresting-blog]

A match on Tinder.

That I actually like. At 1 am. Playing it cool. ...checking every 5 minutes if she removed me or not, or if it was just a spam-bot -- and will probably not be able to sleep. “Cool.” Not my stong side.

[iglovequotes]

http://iglovequotes.net/

[wnq-anonymous]

An Introvert's Guide To Surviving A Breakup

Originally posted by come-and-save-me-from-myself

Introverts are generally known for possessing a higher emotional intelligence and being extremely perceptive. They’re affected more than the average human being. A slight change in attitude, behavior, smell or environment deeply affects them. They don’t miss a thing. They create a small circle and are fiercely loyal to the ones they have chosen, this is why a breakup is particularly hard for this type of human being. They’re commitment oriented and literally feel as if a person ran away with a piece of their soul. A breakup can lead to a deep depression or life turning transformation.

Keep reading on how to handle such a drastic change.

Keep reading

[yoursummerdreamz]

[typhlonectes]

Republicans know the answer to “WWJD”?

Jordan Uhl on Twitter

[almostsomeoneinteresting-blog]

So true.

[ammoniababy]

get a load of this clown

[almostsomeoneinteresting-blog]

Among the things I post, I reblog the most beautiful things in the world. So I reblog this.

[successfulling]

[almostsomeoneinteresting-blog]

...just loving this. Hah.

[almostsomeoneinteresting-blog]

...

My crush, whom I work with: “Are you coming to the after-party?” Me, who promised to myself that I’d *try* to do something about the ravenous hunger that is my need for love and affection, and promised to try to slip away from my colleagues who’s out of bounds: “Sure. Yeah.” ... I did my best to have a good time. I hope I didn’t ruin the mood by not talking much, and that I managed to hide my feelings well enough to not bother anyone. It was great. But now I’m home, at last. I feel gratitude for not screwing up the fickle friendship with my crush. I feel good about actually being at some sort of party. I felt normal, for the longest time... ...but now that I’m home again. I’m so afraid I’ll never get to have a crush on someone who likes me. I’m so afraid I’ll never be loved... The darkness and silence feels so damn comforting, and I can finally let go. Okay. Fuck. What I’m trying to say that I’m crying like a little bitch. Again. Why couldn’t I have had better looks..? Be one of the guys the girls actually look at..? Observation: Three girls at the resturant all checked out the obviously most handsome guy in our group, during dinner. I sat next to him, so I could notice their stares almost in my direction, but not quite, getting a small taste of how it feels to be attractive. Except they didn’t look at me. Obviously. And he didn’t care about them. At all. He never looked at any of them for a second, that I could notice. And I noticed. Because all of those three girls were attractive. Just fuck my life. Fuck it so very fucking much. Overall, it was a great day. Romantic emotions aside.

[almostsomeoneinteresting-blog]

Damn.

Today was going to be a good day. Going out with my job, to a show, dinner and party. Didn’t get invited to the party before the main event; the show and dinner. Don’t feel like I’m wanted there, so I don’t want to ask if I can come. Besides. Only girls, and the most attractive boys, got invited anyway. (I don’t think they realize how that feels. When the attractive boys gets invited, all the girls get invited, and you don’t.) ...my crush is coming tonight. I have to ignore her. I mean. I have to talk to her, I have to not be boring, and help her feel included and not ruin the mood -- but... I can’t do anything. I just have to keep my feelings to myself, like every day. Except this isn’t like a normal day at the job. This is the real her, and the real me... I wouldn’t be able to come to work if anything went wrong between me and her. Literally: If I screw up, if I somehow manage to screw up the fickle friendship we’ve built up the past years, I never want to go to work there ever again. But at the same time, I won’t be able to flirt with anyone else, because I won’t have the heart for it.

...there’s going to be an afterparty. Nobody asked me if I’m going to come. Nobody invited me. An hour before the main event, I’m home alone -- getting dressed... crying, to be honest. Well. Better now, than there. Besides, stupidly, I’m listening to love songs. Trying to not think about her. Failing. Time and time again. ...I hope she has a great time today. Damn it. It’s going to be a great evening, after all. I’m going to put all my effort into having a great time..! If I can just make it through dinner, and not get tempted to stay with them,  with her, until it’s too late to find my own kind... I’ll do my best to make sure, and probably leave the group at a reasonable time to head off somewhere else, alone, and find other broken people to sit down and talk with... Lost souls to dance with. Perhaps a damaged girl who needs someone, as badly as I do...

[befitdriven]

[iglovequotes]

http://iglovequotes.net/

[almostsomeoneinteresting-blog]

Silly bunny. You’re not a cat. ^_____________^