Alright so yes, I have a boyfriend, and it started out great! I told myself that unlike last time I will have it last more than a month. . . Then I was watching YouTube and saw a video about how when a girl gets a male friend, he automatically wants to date her.
Now me and my boyfriend go to high school together and in the same grade. Even though it's cyber school be both showed ourselves to each other and spoke.
Now, we already planned that after school I would go to college to Massachusetts (That's not where I live, but it will be out of state for me). Then I will move to Canada with him where we will settle down.
BUT. . . after watching that video I realized that what if he doesn't have feelings for me. . . DO I even have feelings for him?!?! I don't want to break his heart and say "I don't have feelings for you, it is over."
"Why" you ask? Well, he is very. . . clingy. Like if I don't message him within a few hours he will say "I miss u 🥲" and at first, I was like "aww he cares". But now I'm kinda like "Oh fuck"
Now I was open with him a bit, but I didn't give him my life story, which he did the same with me.
Now I did the first thing most people would do. Ask about the family, see what happens. All I got was "My brother is weird" and "Parents are kinda strict." When I asked for further information he basically said "I don't want to sound like I'm venting."
I kinda took this as a MINOR red flag. Like he didn't not just avoid the topic of his family, he did say some stuff. It was just how clingy he is.
I mean I don't mind for some clinginess. . . It's just with him it's too much. He is emotional so I can't say anything mean, but it is okay, cause I got an alternative plan if I have to escape him.
Now I might seem paranoid with all of this. . . But like I am talking to him about what happens when I am paranoid. . . but not how I feel right now.
I'll update soon my little angels and demons :)