paradox story

I’m the kind of person who always see life through metaphors, hope these would be relatable.

[alostparadox-blog]

Adorable Home 2

“In the ashes I sat and lay, didn’t know what to do, nor what to say.”

I had everything planned out.  My house was perfectly built, the way I wanted it. Everything was there, everything that made me who I was were there, but it all disappeared; with just 1 undesirable visit, everything was gone.

In the ashes I sat and lay, didn’t know what to do, nor what to say. I stayed there for days, weeks, even months. I tried visiting his house, he opened the door, but I was never invited inside. With this, I’ve found the answer, but I just can’t let go.

I can’t let him go for what he did to my house. I went back home and tried to put things back together, and it tested my patience. The rain kept pouring, the heat of the sun wasn’t as lovely as it was before, and it just won’t work. 

I can’t accept what happened, I did not have the will to build my own house. I had to knock on other people’s doors, hoping that they’ll let me stay the night. Fortunately, I’m surrounded with neighbors who truly and genuinely cared,  who made me feel like I was in my own home. 

I’m extremely grateful for such people. 

I got lost for a while, went to strangers’ house when I felt that I was already a burden to some close friends. I went back home and still felt the same. 

But  the last one was quite peculiar, I went to visit this stranger’s house and when I got back home, something felt different. I collected the ashes, and cleaned up all the debris I can find in my lot.

The following day, he suddenly came to visit. With two shovels in his back, suddenly I understood what I had to do. 

I put on my work clothes and thinking cap, took out some pens and paper, and right then and there, we began the task at hand. We took the first step to rebuild the house.

[alostparadox-blog]

My Adorable Home 

I once believed that I was able to build a sturdy house, a strong one, a concrete one. A house that was built with all the learnings I earned throughout my journey in life. I knew that time that I was in a safe and cozy home, where I can be protected, where I can live the life I want to. But to tell you the truth, creating a house with just your own belief, makes it blah.

I invited a couple of people, my friends specifically, who I think would make my house a bit more colorful. I got their insights, heard their own beliefs, and saw a different perspective of life. I added those inputs as decorations to my house, and it made it better. It made it more appealing to the eye, it felt more like home.

But sometimes, we wonder what it feels like, stepping up a notch. Maybe there’s someone who has the same house as I do, and would love to be on the same house that I have, and maybe want to create a house of our own.

I got a knock on my door, he liked the house, everything about it he said. Through time, eventually he fell in love with it. He enjoyed every single time living in this house, learning everything about it.

But here’s the thing, he has a house of his own, fairly different from what I have. As time passed by, he felt the difference, the comfort was there, the ambiance was great, but for him it’s just not it. When he realized all that was happening, he left with the stove on, and without me knowing, my house was slowly burning down. My house built with my own knowledge, my own beliefs became ashes in seconds, with nothing left. Then I wondered, “What have I done?” Tat’s when I realized, the house I built, sadly, wasn’t as sturdy as I thought.

[alostparadox-blog]

Walking away...

It’s hard to walk away,

especially when you know you’re walking away from someone, someone so dear, 

someone who makes you feel home. 

As you continue,

you’ll feel the desperate desire to look back,

you’d want to ask them to come with you,

you’d want them to just suddenly grab you from behind, or even, waiting a shout of your name,

asking you to come back,

to be with you again,  to still be with you. 

But something will keep you going,

the thought that, you,

walking away,

will lead them to what they truly desire.

Something that may occur,

once, and only, when you let them go.