becoming a greek tragedy

college poet//hopeless romantic//hopeful in life//anxiety is my keeper and loneliness my muse. -AΓ

[thunderbones-deactivated2018100]

like big sky country, the whole of everything is boundless and mourning within me.

i went to the very top of a mountain in montana. the very very very top. a dog growling at his own reflection in the river. wild horses frightened of their own agency. the clouds dipped low and said, child, the night sky, the sickly stars, grieve too.

like flat desert country, the whole of everything is scorched and yearning within me.

i drove to the very end of arizona. the very very very end. the low fuel light writing its own eulogy. songbirds on fire in the middle of the twilight. the old ugly sunset bent crooked and said, baby, this is what it is forever:

endless road, endless desert, endless. endless.

in montana, i took a really deep breath.

[thunderbones-deactivated2018100]

PALINDROMES 

[alphagammapolisi]

I want to be all kinds of in love with you foot stomping toe tapping hand clapping scream singing a cacophony of craziness and yet the peace of home i want the car trips and unruly maps, unrulier roads but a killer playlist to keep us on the asphalt as we weave a path across these rolling hills jamming to our song i want playing a record until you can see through it needle jumping for joy like i did when you got home from work coming home into each other's arms grabbing jackets and keys and tickets running to the tiny theater with the blown out speakers we lip sync and dance anyway. through all of it i hear your music, the sound of your heart, and i never want to stop listening.

[alphagammapolisi]

i play pretend for a living i pretend i know how to fix your computer, i pretend i want to work for you, i pretend i know what i'm doing i flounder for meaning in a world that tells me the only meaning is small green pieces of paper and your ability to tell other people what to do. i get good grades, i don't really know why i can't be conceivably convinced to care life is just a series of facades, each more egregious than the last and hoping that people will believe them everyone does it. the irony of the child-like pastime to play pretend is lost on adults who are often less honest than the children they raise i'm tired of the bullshit but i can't escape it no one can either you play along or you disappear i don't want to lie anymore but i don't have any other choice and that's the honest truth.

[dsxsbx]

Faroe Islands by Fabio Zingg

[alphagammapolisi]

a laptop broken sure, not just a machine, a portal closed- for now.

a wonder of tech magic, crippled by four words: no solid state drive

[alphagammapolisi]

the preacher a ti red singer in a dive bar a club in God-Knows-Where who cares? making out in your car stopped on our jour ney for the Grail a Dollar drink cup is close enough right? i don't want to leave this bed this pew this house of you reading our holy words the lyr ics to some song we both know screaming the melody to the wind all sense of time is lost when i'm with you. take me to church

[alphagammapolisi]

my mind generally leaves me out of things. i oft end up watching my life like a sitcom from a sofa that's just a little       too            comfortable and screaming at the bumbling main character as he clearly has no control of his life i laugh, oblivious to the fact that i am watching a tv-screen version of me, helpless to change anything while the demons-of-my-mind wrote and directed this shit-show edited to be the #1 most second-guessed existence on television! i do well in classes, but that seems meaningless when instead i can think of all the ways i've irreversably fucked myself over the only time my brain does anything is to tell me i'm wrong      that i'm screwing myself      that i've made every mistake      that i'll never be anything more than an occupant of the couch cushions. so i sit and watch, watch and sit, hoping that this is part where it will get better                         where it will change i need to get up, but the next episode just started.

[alphagammapolisi]

burned it at both ends singed it with the friction of pressure and the heat of the moment watched it drip away as i sat across the room my fear of melted beeswax and the flame keeping me from truly enjoying its warm glow as i pretend that an image on a screen will feel just the same as i pretend just the same as i pretend the same as i pretend i pretend i

[lsleofskye]

Iceland

[thunderbones-deactivated2018100]

movie reviews.

“take your own damn advice,” he says, and of course I don’t, my hands candysticky & reaching out into infinity for just one touch –

one, just one, darling, please, please remind me what it’s like to be real and gaze upon the sunlight without second thought.

remind me how to tune out my own heartbeat. remind me how to smile without popcorn in my teeth. remind me how to say “I am not ready to die yet” and mean it, darling, please, please darling – and then I get what I want and it’s not what I want. let me go, babylove, you’re hurting me.

there is rain. he leaves bruises, the purple kind, and the blood rushing through my veins keeps me awake all night. it hurts until it doesn’t.

[vanish]

[motivationsforlife]

Natural bridge by Eric Van Ryswyk

[brutalgeneration]

[newblogisjacindaelena]

Vivienne Gucwa

[visual-poetry]

»this must be my dream« by david drake

[deactivated-blog]

Some paintings to relax