Kent Parson Defense Squad

This is a side blog for the awesome webcomic omgcheckplease (please talk to me about bitty/holtz) plus real hockey sometimes, I also don't ship JackParse but holy shit do they need to talk some stuff out

[hubris-condensed]

This is adorable beyond words lmao

[alrightshittyknight]

me: *appears and posts one thing*

me: *goes radio silent for 2 months*

[moved-to-axiir0]

pataters watching the 2018 stanley cup final :,)

[gutsybitsies]

some poor samwell swallow freshman reporter goes to a smh game and has to write up a report on it and interview members of the team. the editors told him to definitely get a few quotes from ransom and holster and left the rest up to him. 

so this kid watches the game and was like “oh cool” and notices a speedy number 15 and is like “oh he’s fast.” decides to talk with whoever 15 is after the game. heads to the tunnel just in time to see number 15 take off his helmet and look like this

it’s crush at first sight, and the reporter manages to stutter out some questions that bitty answers helpfully. he then asks bitty for his number so that they can arrange for a further interview even though there is no need for a further interview, and bitty acquiesces. he bought a number 15 smh shirsey, jersey, and shirt, and goes to every kegster. another person has fallen into the bitty-crush hole

[randomnoteforfuturereference]

The genre critics never saw what was coming.

[zanimez]

this is ridiculously funny

[zimmerdouche]

Eric Bittle

[aninactivebloggfgfgf]

This is the funniest thing I’ve seen in ages someone please tell me that this is part of a series I can watch omfg 

[bittysbestie]

Five on the BEEF.

Brush the fuckin’

Narp Goss

and

NIP CHED

all season, bro.

R I P P E D .

[fooiinneeee]

[itsybittle]

[crimsonclad]

As far as unexpected character reveals go, I’m still SUPER into “overbearing hockey dad with impossibly high expectations, Bad Bob Zimmermann” turning out to be largely an invention of Jack’s anxiety, when actual Bob’s main dad moments turned out to be: -nice goal, short kid! I’m also silently enjoying your mother’s massive middle school crush on me!!!! -Hey, Jack, bud, have you noticed you’re in love with that boy? Maybe you should go kiss him on the face, eh? We can wait!

[lizards-online]

can we appreciate ollie and wicks being intimidators

[chrisfranklinchow]

[omgeverythingplease]

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[gutsybitsies]

Jack: so bittle loves me and im number one in his life

Marty: what brought about this self confidence?

Jack: he chose my game over beyonce.

Tater: maybe that mean he love US.

[alrightshittyknight]

not to be That Bitch™ but some of y’all need to remember that Jack is bi not gay, i know i use the term loosely with myself but when i see people go “oh jacks my sweet little gay boy” it actually doesn’t feel too great bc it feels like y’all are trying to erase that part of him and that makes me really sad as a bi person

[kermitlesbian]

bitty, at 3am waking up to the sound of jack arguing with someone: babe what’s going on?

jack, intensely into his phone: Shitty, stop commenting ‘daddy’ on all my instagram posts. this is your final warning.

[zimbites]

what if the lax team has been complimenting the hockey team this entire time but since the hockey team (Frog Shitty) had no idea what they were saying they thought it was declarations of war and that’s just been passed down since 

[zimbites]

An 18 year old Shitty barely being restrained by a 21 year old Jack: FIVE ON THE WHAT NOW 

[koyofruit-deactivated20260502]

siri show me the CAPTAIN of the SAMWELL MEN’S HOCKEY TEAM

thank you….