I am never satisfied about anything. I have an almost never-ending list of personal flaws and past mistakes, yet I sit atop a golden throne of judgment, from which I will point my jewel-encrusted scepter at you and tell you to iron your shirt. I will pick fights with you constantly because I mistake disagreements and fundamental differences for passion, and I consider a night in which we throw dinner plates at each other to be time well spent. I will find your most insecure points and needle at them until they are raw, bleeding stumps and you are weighing out the pros and cons of throwing me in a wood chipper. I will be infuriating, I will be insufferable, I will be incredibly frustrating—but I won’t be boring.
I’m reading my very first article ever and it’s mind-blowing how much of an unfettered asshole I was. I kind of enjoy it. (via faganchelsea)










