something in my eye

Virgo Shut up…we're by no means setting a precedent estj

[maezanilla]

girlfriend spotted!

[alwaysthealaska]

More than a year ago I put my garden to bed for the winter. And then spring came, and life got rough. I gave away all my gardening money that I had set aside to someone in need. I got busy with things outside of myself. I missed my garden but it was the right decision.

Today I took the first steps towards reclaiming my garden. She will be my own personal victory garden this year.

[petitworld]

by Pure

[fluffysheeps]

Spring moo-d! 🐮💐🍓

[academic-vampire]

𝔪𝔢𝔩𝔬𝔡𝔦𝔠 𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔠𝔥

[alwaysbeenjessica]

march!! spring is so close!!

[alwaysthealaska]

Spring is coming.

Slowly.

With chilly mornings and a warm soft breeze.

[alwaysthealaska]

Sometimes it's me and my Canada Dry against the world

[alwaysthealaska]

Yall I found a dress form at the thrift store. It's definitely old. It's probably considered an antique. It is definitely too small to be my body but i am so pumped. It was only $20!

I think with some strategic padding I can get pretty close to my size. Going to mess around with it this weekend. i am so excited. I have been looking at one online that's nearly $200 and just couldn't justify it.

For 20 bones I think we are going to try to make it work. If it won't work for me I might see if a friend (with smaller measurements) would like it.

Ps- do not try to adjust a mannequin, that is obviously too small, to your own measurements, Unless you are emotionally prepared.

[alwaysthealaska]

If yall don't put that groundhog back in his bed! Look around. It's cold af. Ain't no spring coming to save you. 6 more weeks of suffering.

[dadecountyfilth]

[alwaysthealaska]

Trying my get my thoughts together for this year. Nothing serious.

As far as January- I take the whole month of January off from anything social. Anything draining. Anything i dont like. Anything i dont want to do. Its a No. I make it acceptable to stay home. An opportunity to turn inward and be completely self-centered. I try to only worry about myself, my home, my pets and my partner. I try to reflect and refresh myself. Maybe some house cleaning, both literally and figuratively.

Results so far: I'm ready to see people again.

I've really been trying to come to terms with the fact that " Community is Inconvenient." If I want to have community I need to put in the work.

I also need to stop pouring into cups that never reciprocate. Why do I keep trying with people who never give me what I need? I am incredibly giving as a friend and I feel like I'm not getting back what I give. Don't get me wrong I'm not looking for transactional friendships but I feel like I have been putting a lot of emotional investment into people who don't think about me in those ways. I love these people because they are good and loyal friends. I believe I am measuring them against my own expectations and I need to stop because I am framing it in a way that seems like they are letting me down. So it's really that I need to find a balance between my expectation / my emotional investment and reality.

I also realized that I have been keeping a mental check list of the people that reached out to me since I haven't been around. The ones that reach out to ask about me versus people who reach out to talk about themselves. I do not believe this checklist serves me. And I need to stop doing it.

[jun-hug]

and then they cat napped together 🙂‍↕️

print(1) | print(2) ‪‪❤︎‬

[catchymemes]

[alwaysthealaska]

Went to therapy for the first time in 17 months. I honestly love therapy. I love getting to talk to someone I respect, that is insightful and knowledgeable. I kinda like ripping my heart out and poking around in the wound.

Today I learned I have abandonment issues. This man had a fucking list of every time my family abandoned me. That shit made me want to vomit. Apparently feeling like the kid that no one really worried about (because you're the good kid, everything always works out for you, your capable and always land on your feet) isn't a good thing. That's a type of abandonment.

Cool. Cool cool. Cool. Love that. Awesome.

Update several days later: knowing this now.... some of my old jokes don't hit the same anymore.

Like joking that I don't want to get married because I would rather limit the ways he can leave me.... yeah okay. Score one for the Dr

[stimmyneko]

Lovecore moodboard with stim toys and plushies!! ❤️💌💞🌷

[remanence-of-love]