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@amandaraetoday
I keep forgetting what the differences are in the over the counter pain relievers, so I made a handy chart.
THANK YOU OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As someone who suffers from migraines too often, this is perfect. Please share this helpful chart!!
Also, tylenol is good for nerve pain, like fibromyalgia.
Oh shit. This might be part of why my stomach is so fucked up.
Yeah this is really good!! yay
Take care of yourselves, tumblr!
I was sexually assaulted by my best friend this past Sunday and literally have had two mental breakdowns and a relapse because of it.
Tonight is one of our mutual friendâs birthday; Devin has been my friend since we were 14, so I am going to see him, but I am keeping my distance and keeping careful. I want to go back to being my assaulterâs friend, but this was a âvery shitty thingâ and Iâve had a hard time coping with how badly he betrayed me.Â
So Iâm doing what I always do when I cope, and thatâs pretend everything is okie dokie artichokie, and carrying on until everything hits a wall and Iâm fucked up over it again.
Im over analyzing again. Im in a deeper hole and Im glad because now i can shut the fuck up and not bother anyone. I cant wait for this semester to be over so I can fucking keep my distance and leave everyone alone, like they deserve. They dont need to worry about my pathwtic ass.
How does this dress (one is red one is maroon but theyâre the same damn dress with different sleeve lengths) look better now that Iâm fatter?? 2014-2016. That makes no god damn sense.
This was the selfie I wanted to post because Iâve lost enough weight to fit back into my overalls and not have a huge stomach and itâs the first time in over a year that I can wear them and my thighs arenât constricted and I was super excited. Iâm posting it here then when I get back on my laptop, transferring it over to my private blog.
âYou sure like being knocked around a lot.â Well, I mean my mother is most of the reason I can handle a hit but Iâll never date someone who hits me. Iâll just keep them around to remind me that Iâm still ten, eleven, twelve, nineteen, and can still be knocked down a peg. Iâm getting too big for my britches again. Too bad theyâre not ropes. I should just stop talking and stop everything because itâs all such an inconvenience.
6 months man. And I still regret that it didnât work.
i hate when i accidentally say something about wanting to kill myself over a minor inconvenience really casually in front of neurotypicals bc theyre always like âsuicide is not a joke!!1!1!1!â and itâs like????? iâm not kidding???????? i literally want to throw myself off a bridge all the time?????
A random memory of a conversation with my in-hospital Therapist
âWe found traces of opiates in your bloodstream. Are you...by chance, addicted to opiates?â
âNo. I had a surgery last week and Iâm taking Tylenol 3 for pain.â
âYou are taking Tylenol 3? For recreation?â
âNo. For the surgery I had.â
âWhen did you have your surgery?â
âLast week.â
âReally?â
âHere. (Lifts up shirt to show scars)â
âThose look new. When did you say your surgery was?â
âA week before I tried to hang myself. So, last Thursday.â
âOh, okay. Thank you.â
A visit with the Doctor
âAnd, do you, you know, still have thoughts? Regrets?â
âHonestly, do I wish I had succeeded? Yes. Do I wish I were dead right this moment? No. I mean, I keep thinking back on it, and who would have found me? Kay? Jean? My landlord? Of those options, I think my landlord would have been the best. I couldnât do that to Kay. I wouldnât have wanted her to be the one who found me.But do I wish I would have gone through with it? Yes. I still think about it. Part of me still wants it. Not right now, of course. In general. Do you think thatâs normal?â
âI mean, thoughts like that flicker through most peopleâs minds. I am sure youâre fine. So, are you saying you wish your attempt had been successful?â
âYes. Yes. I wish my suicide attempt had been successful. But other than that, my lifeâs been going pretty well!â
iâm so grateful for the people who donât give up on me and are patient with me while iâm distant and trying to figure myself out
IF UR FEELIN BAD
here are a few things i actually do that make me feel better:
âą clean up ur room âą drink water âą take a shower âą take 15 shots of straight vodka
Lowkey started crying
âIf youâre still writing about him a year later⊠You loved him.â
Damn .
Big support! She good yo!
âPaper is the only way you two can have a conversation, even if he isnât listeningâ
That line was dope.
This hit me really hard.
âBecause you were the one always reaching out of bounds⊠How can you still be so moved by a ghostâ
chilllllssss WHO IS SHE
I cried.
This fucking girl.
I hate love poems. But this was cute. âđŸ
She didnât have to do a G like this đđđđ
I hate writing love poems.
whats her name?? who is this girl??
Whelp.
I'm eating dollar menu Jack-in-the-box by cell phone and candle light because I couldn't out wit a stupid man whose spoiled daughter literally left me in the dark again. But my roommate is coming in with the rent. It's the little things.
Pants for hire
I remember in my Lying and Deception class I fought really hard for the fact that not all liars are bad people. I spoke about how some people learn to lie to survive, to get on with their lives, to avoid punishment.
Kay and Jo have been talking about my lying since the hospital. Not just lying in a sense, but hiding, which they consider lying. Hiding a lot of different things, lying about a lot of different things. They keep bringing it up. I wonât lie and say it doesnât bother me, because at this point theyâre just using it to dig at me, but Iâll let them since I did lie, I did hide. Itâs a way of them getting back at me for what Iâve done.
Itâs annoying (like Kaleigh and Eric staying friend with Tom, like, what the fuck, itâs been three months, can you guys wait just a little longer, you guys were my friends before you were ever his and he fucking BETRAYED ME) but I understand. Sort of.
Some Life-Advice to Take Into 2016
You always need more moisturizer than you think you do
Resume: education, experience, references. Cover letter: Intro/education, why you are qualified, why you want to work there.
Donât underestimate how much a cheap-ass throw blanket can brighten up a space.
If youâre going to ignore that âhand wash onlyâ label, at least use the gentle cycle.
Honestly, eat your vegetables. Get your nutrition. Even if itâs the cheap generic canned kind, your body will be thanking you so much.
Eating breakfast can really unfuck your morning. Even just a granola bar or piece of toast or something.
Go with Colombian or Cuban or Puerto Rican brands for your instant coffee.
Learn how to make at least one impressive dish. It doesnât have to be time-consuming or super fancy, but it should be something that will impress if you bring it to a party.
No one is going to know what brand your clothes or makeup or whatever is, so if youâre using Dollar Tree lipstick or wearing Faded Glory jeans, thereâs no need to be ashamed.
ALWAYS use dryer sheets.
Dollar Tree has a pretty decent selection of food and seasonings in most cases. Just putting it out there.
You are never annoying anyone as much as you think you are. Youâre actually probably gonna make them smile with that message you want to send.
Generic/dollar store cleaners work just as well as the expensive shit.
If it says âImitation Cheese Productâ on it, stay away. Far away. âProcessed Cheese Productâ is good though.
If a store has a free rewards card, get it.
Indulging in something frivolous for yourself once in a while is good and important, whether itâs a sweet treat or a bubble bath or buying yourself something.
Iâm personally a big fan of showering at night. Saves you time in the morning, makes you feel nice and fresh when you go to bed, and you get to sleep in a little later.
If you donât want to/cant handle your usual makeup routine, just conceal and do your eyeliner/mascara and lips the same way you normally do, then put on a little translucent powder. Itâs a great fakeout for a full face.
A little vinegar, baking soda, OR bleach (NOT AND. OR. USE JUST ONE) down your drains every now and then is a good idea.
Speaking of vinegar, if you have a dishwasher, running a little vinegar through it every now and then is also a good idea.
âIâm sorry, I donât have cash on me!â will get most people selling shit off your back. If not, try âIâm actually in the middle of something, do you have a card or brochure?â
Shocking yourself awake isnât good for you, so choose a gentle alarm. I personally like nature sounds or opening songs to soundtracks (âMe Hele No Liloâ from the Lilo and Stitch soundtrack is an awesome one) because they feel like they give me more of a âtime to get up, time to get goingâ feeling. âMorning Songâ by Edvard Grieg (a.k.a. the sunrise music in every cartoon short ever) is another excellent choice.
Also on the subject of alarms, you may read things that tell you to put your alarm clock or phone across the room from your bed so youâre forced to move to turn it off. This is a trap. There will come a day when you donât hear that alarm all the way across the damn room and you will be fucked. Trust me on this. Put it by your bed.
Places like Marshalls, HomeGoods, Burlington Coat Factory, and Big Lots usually have gourmet-type food and seasonings and things like that for pretty cheap. Itâs a great way to expand your tastes/try new things without breaking the bank.
Wash or change your pillowcases and sheets about once a week. It REALLY makes a difference.
If youâve been feeling disconnected or kinda rootless, Iâve found that doing super local things, like going to a mom-and-pop place or some local event, or even just going to a local park or library, is a GREAT way to feel more connected to your community. Even if I donât particularly like the community Iâm in, it still makes me feel more grounded.
If youâve been washing your hair every day and youâre not getting crud/sweating profusely/somehow actively dirtying it every day, stop. Youâre stripping your scalp and hair and making it dry and weak. Youâll probably be super oily at first, but just style your hair with product or put it up or use dry shampoo on the days you donât wash and itâll calm down eventually and be sooo much healthier.
Life can get pretty boring, so find something you want to keep learning about and explore it. Go on Wikipedia, borrow library books, peruse Google Scholar, listen to lectures on Youtube. To paraphrase Ingrid Nilsen, the cure for boredom is curiosity.Â
Wiping down your counters, sink, and stove with a little bleach solution or something at the end of the day helps you not get bugs.
Keeping a few magazines or books on your side and coffee table with a candle makes you look like you have your life together.
Depending on your morning routine, you want to try and wake up around 30 minutes to an hour before you need to leave your house.
Life is too short to pretend you donât like harmless things because youâre afraid someone will make fun of you. Watch that show, read those books, listen to those songs, do those things, and to hell with anyone who gets uptight about it.
*all advice based on what has worked for me. Your mileage may vary.
