“ Why are you so inclined not to make friends with the people around you? What do you have to loose?”
Rose knew she was being rude but she had been rejected by Amber one too many times. She was used to it but she was not going to stop trying to make friends with her. She didn’t really know why, maybe it was her friendly-weasley-potter trait that was going around in her family but she did’t care.
“Maybe I just don’t like you,” she jibed, falling back on her natural defenses. “Why do you think I’d ever want to be friends with you? I have just two terms left sharing a dorm with you before we never have to see each other again.”
It was cold and she knew it. For the moment she was glad Viv wasn’t around to be disappointed in her. Viv would probably know that she was wondering why Rose still bothered trying to reach her.
Leona missed being cold. She missed having to wear thick layers of faux fur to keep the shivers away. It made her feel human and she would never believe herself saying that she missed being cold. But here she was; a leather jacket over a band t-shirt. It was more for the aesthetics than actually keeping the cold out.
Outside by the forest, she was getting ready for her hunt. A passive passtime, that was much better than wanting to beat the sparkle out of those prats, who made it very obvious they didn’t like her blood status; or even avoiding the teachers and students in general. But when the girl made a comment (Leona was more than ready to ignore her at all costs. Let her business be hers), she turned to glare at the girl.
“The ways of the French people will obviously be unknown to the animals of the Isle. I’m not even surprised you asked, given you smell like a wet dog.” It was fun to banter, but she wasn’t lying about the smell.
Oh this girl was asking for it. Amber was the queen of being antagonistic, and and receiving a snarky response was just fuel to the fire. Receiving a response that included a dog-related insult, however, was one way to really get under her skin, whether her opponent knew it or not (generally not).
“I’d like to see you smell of fucking flowers after a run around the quidditch stadium,” she scoffed. “At least I don’t ooze a natural odour of decay.”
If the girl was out for a run too, she clearly hadn’t started yet. Amber couldn’t see a drop of sweat on her. Whereas her own body was begging for a shower. Her own scentless antiperspirant could only hold up so much. She doubted anything could help the girl before her.
A steady rhythm of snow crunching under boots marked Amber’s journey around the edge of the forest. She’d taken a loop around the quidditch stadium and was now heading back for the castle. Her breathing was coming heavy now from the distance she had jogged, coming out in big white puffs through the chilly air.
As she reached the end of the bridge that led to Hagrid’s hut, she finally brought herself to a stop. She rested against one of the big stones there, panting to catch her breath. The warm layers she was wearing had her overheating, but she knew that the cold would catch up to her again soon.
She was just beginning her stretches when a stench hit her nose. Amber looked up to see one of the new exchange students come into view. Her nose wrinkled up in disgust. “Don’t they have showers where you come from?” she sneered.
“Good,” Amber replied stubbornly. This time was no different to the millions of other times she had made a point to offend and push away her roommates. Surely Rose knew by now not to bother caring.
She snorted patronisingly at Rose’s question. “Yeah I could, couldn’t I?” Amber deliberately shoved an overload of chicken in her mouth and took her time chewing through it, ignoring Rose for her book.
Winter Break — The Liao Residence — Night of the full moon
Amber was tense in both body and mind as she looked out west. The window cast long shadows over her in face of the setting sun. Her grip on the curtains nearly tore them as she pulled them shut and turned away from the dying light of the day. It was nearly time. She was already dressed for the unspecial occasion, in only a silk bathrobe.
It was the wrong time for someone to be knocking at the door. Only friends of the family used the back door. They were the only ones that knew about the concealed apparition point there. Amber’s jaw clenched hard enough to make her head hurt.
This could only end badly.
Or—
“Amber!”
—worse.
“It’s your friend!”
Amber ground her teeth together, turning her gaze back to the closed curtains. Then she was in a rush, heart hammering as quick as her footsteps to the back door.
“You can’t be here.” The words were spat through Amber’s teeth and delivered with the same rigidity as her spine.
In the doorway stood the last damn person who needed to be here tonight.
“You say that,” Viv said, “but I’m here anyway.”
Amber felt the need to slap Viv, or perhaps bite her. Both would end badly.
“I want to be here for you, for this.”
“You can’t.” Amber shoved her mother out of the way and made to push the door closed in Viv’s face.
A boot blocked it.
“Fucking… stop it!” She gasped and heaved against the door, fighting against the push from the other side. “It’s dangerous for you to be here for this! Just stay away!” Her mother’s hand gripped her shoulder to pull her away, but was forcefully shrugged off.
“I’m not leaving. We both know you’ve been taking your wolfsbane, and you’ll be locked up safely.”
“I don’t want you to see this!” Amber’s gasping turned into a gulp, the admission hitting too close to home. She didn’t want Viv to see her at her worst. She couldn’t…
The pushing from the other side stopped, but the boot stayed wedged in the door. Amber angrily brushed at a tear before the face through the gap could see it.
“I’m not going to think any worse of you if I see you transform. I’m still going to be here for you in the morning. I’m going to prove that to you.”
“You’re a pain, you know that? Always wanting to get involved in my mess.” Amber wasn’t sure if she wanted to laugh or cry. And she sure as hell didn’t want to start breaking down now.
“I already told you, dumbass, your mess is part of you, and I really like you.”
Amber really didn’t want to cry. “You’re a persistent arse, you know that?” Her shoulders slumped in defeat, then finally she took a step back from the door. The moment the door swung open she flung herself forward to burry her face in Viv’s shoulder. She definitely wasn’t crying. In that moment she felt genuinely loved, and it scared her. That this person before her could be so determined to face the worst of her and stay by her side the whole way through. Viv was a fool. An awful, horrible, amazing fool. It felt like she had tricked Viv somehow, into thinking she was a better and more deserving person than she really was.
It was only an uncomfortable clearing of a throat behind her that reminded Amber of the time. She blushed to remember that her mother was witness to her little breakdown. Amber’s fingers only dug firmer into Viv’s flesh, unwilling to let her go. But she had to.
“I have to go downstairs now,” she said weakly. Her hands lingered on Viv’s shoulders even as she pulled away.
Viv’s hand gripped hers before they could part contact completely. “I’m going to stay outside the door. I’ll be right there with you the entire night.”
“You’re fucking crazy, you know that?”
The way Viv’s lips quirked told of how easily she recognised the fondness underlying Amber’s words.
There was no pleasing her mother, but that Amber had given in to Viv’s persistence meant that the whole family had too. Hands joined, Amber clung tighter to Viv with every step down into the cold basement.
It was a familiar room of concrete walls, floor, and ceiling, with no windows and only a single dull light. Claw marks covered every surface, even the back of the solid iron door that marked the only way in and out of the room. The only furniture inside was a tattered old mattress, bare and speckled with blood.
Amber shivered at the cold. “You may as well steal the pillows and blankets from my bed if you’re going to stay down here all night.” The square landing at the bottom of the stairs and before the door looked as dark and unwelcoming as it was sure to feel. The shivering that ran through Amber’s body no longer stemmed from the cold as she took that first step into the underground room of concrete. A familiar sickness rose within her. “I’ll be alright,” she said, trying to assure Viv of all people. Amber looked to her mother. “How much time?”
“You’d best go now.”
Amber wasn’t sure how Viv was going to deal being left alone with her mother, but that was the least of her worries right now. She wanted to take one last desperate kiss from Viv. But her mother was watching, and she was sure she heard a noise from her sister Joyce at the top of the stairs.
“I’ll be right outside this door the whole time,” Viv said, seeming to grasp her urgency.
There was little Amber could do now but nod. She felt her hands being squeezed in Viv’s before she finally pulled them away and stepped back into the cold room. Her eyes were on Viv’s face as the door closed on her. The metallic thud of the heavy deadbolts on the other side told her that she was locked in for the night.
She couldn’t stop shivering.
Viv had asked her only once whether her transformation was painful. The only answer Amber had given was a pursed-lipped tight nod.
Fingers fumbling, barely able to function, she untied the cord around her waist then pulled the silk bathrobe from her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor beside the door. The cold hit her expanse of bare skin, covering her in goosebumps. Rubbing at her skin didn’t help much. Amber shuffled her frozen feet to the threadbare mattress and curled up on it, waiting.
She’d learned long ago that hiding from the moon did nothing to stop the transformation. Just the anticipation was enough to invoke full-body flinches. Her mind provided her with enough details that the sympathy pains rippled through her nerves before the real thing could even take.
But there was no denying the feeling when the real thing came.
It started in the heart, those beats of fear turning into heavy thuds of adrenaline, quicker and quicker. Then it was her bones, creaking and crackling as they expanded, breaking and reforming themselves anew with shattering pain. Amber’s whimpering didn’t turn into howls, though, until her own flesh began to tear. Her muscles pulled and groaned unnaturally, ripping, growing, filling with blood to take their new form. Through her skin a million needles seemed to pierce it as fur sprouted all over. With each moment her howls of pain became less human and more animal, even as her jaw extended into a snout and her teeth grew sharp, and her vocal chords pinched and shifted.
She was still aware, though. She was aware of who and where she was as she lay panting on her side, her howling subsiding back into whimpering. Her only solace was that the soundproofing on her little underground prison was strong enough to hide even the loudest sounds of her pain from Viv. Amber couldn’t bear to let her hear that.
The smell of Viv came through the door, through the small cracks where spells kept all sounds at bay. It was always the coconut of her hair oil, and something uniquely Viv hidden underneath. She was still there.
She was still there.
Getting up onto all four feet, Amber padded over to the door and sniffed about at the cracks.
She wanted to rip into that flesh. That werewolf urge would always be there, even when the wolfsbane let her ignore it. And she could ignore this and simply know that Viv was still there.
Though no sound could make it through the spellwork on the door, Amber scratched her claws down the door in a pattern of three in hopes that the vibration would make it through. It was her signal to Viv that she was there, just on the other side.
And there she would stay.
Amber curled up against the door, laying her head down where she could continue breathing in the smells coming from underneath it. At least her fur would keep her warm.
...
She dreamed of running.
And of hunger.
Amber’s mouth was salivating when she came to, and her body stiff and cramped. A slab of cold metal was pressing against her back, pushing into her and making her slide a few inches across the floor.
The door.
She groaned, understanding that she was human again, and she’d spent the night on a hard concrete surface. A good stretch helped her crack those aching bones, before she gave the door enough room to open up.
And Viv was still there.
Amber couldn’t feel shy about being naked when her mother had been there to wake her up every morning after a full moon spent at home. She felt the silk of her bathroom around her shoulders before she comprehended that the two had entered the room. Her eyelids felt so heavy, like she could sleep for an eternity. But there was her mother helping her to her feet on one side and Viv helping on the other, tying her bathrobe securely and helping her up the stairs to the land of the living.
She found herself nestled on a sofa in the living room, a warmth settling by her side. Viv was by her side.
Breakfast after full moons was always steak, extra rare just like she liked it. Her father had been preparing it while her mother brought her upstairs. The plate was set on her lap.
Amber was just about drooling, though rather than dig into it right away like she normally would, she paused.
Viv.
Amber no longer cared that both her parents were awake and watching, she grabbed Viv’s face and pressed a determined kiss to her lips. There were no words for what she felt about Viv staying the night.
Her lips quirked before she finally dug into her breakfast of delicious bloody meat.
“You look as if you were dying.” She sat in the bed next to Amber “You know me, normally i would take you food but you look as if you need it more than me. Are you sick?”
Rose was a little worried for her friend but she decided that the best way to confront the situation was with humor. She liked Amber a lot and she proved that love by not eating her food.
Amber could have ignored the comment about the way she looked. It happened all the time. But the presence on her bed she couldn’t ignore. How dare Rose come sit next to her as if they were friends? Amber had done just about all that she could to make sure her dormmates knew that they weren’t her friends.
“Get the fuck off my bed before I kick your ass to the floor,” she growled. No one was allowed on her bed; no one except Viv, and that was a recent development. It had been a good change for her, but instinct didn’t let her let anyone else in.
Amber had returned to school looking as if she was recovering from a bad winter flu. Her eyes had bags under them and she slept a lot, but at least she was eating well. More than well. In fact she had managed to convince the house elves in the kitchen to give her some chicken left over from dinner, so they gave her enough to fill a grown man on its own, wrapped up in a parcel of brown cooking paper.
Back in her dorm Amber settled herself in the middle of her bed and opened both the parcel and a book, meaning to eat and study at the same time. She had only just started on the first page and her second mouthful of still-warm chicken when she noticed Rose enter their dorm room. “The chicken’s mine,” she said with a glare, possessively covering her prized food back up with its wrapping paper.
Amber has done a lot of problematic things. She’s constantly aggravating people and picking fights. She also skips her wolfsbane sometimes, meaning that there’s only a locked door between a feral werewolf and a school full of students.
How does your muse see themselves in 5 years? What about 10?
Dead.
What is your muse's addiction?
Amber is a self-harmer. Skipping her wolfsbane is just one form of this. If she skips her wolfsbane, then while she’s locked up all alone the wolf will bite its own arms and legs. This leaves her with bad wounds by morning when she’s back in human form. Matron Abbott tries to supervise Amber’s wolfebane doses because of this, to make sure she’s really drinking it. Amber’s gotten pretty good at nonverbal vanishing charms.
If she can’t hurt herself as a wolf, she will find a way to hurt herself in human form. Whether it involves purposely picking fights she’s going to lose, or taking a blade to her own skin, she’ll find a way to do it, then conceal it. It’s why she always wears long sleeves, though in the cold of Scotland it’s not out of place.
What would your muse say to their younger self if they could go back in time?
“Fuck shit up.”
Amber isn’t one for profound bullshit, and honestly she doesn’t know what she can say to make those feelings about being a werewolf any better. She’s still fighting them as much now as she was back then. Any promises of “it gets better” would be lies.
She would be tempted to convince her younger self to pair up with Viv at a younger age, though...
Viv rolled onto her back, accepting that she was now well and truly awake. There was no possibility of falling back asleep, so now she was just going to have to deal with being up. “There had better damn well be coffee if I’m going to be awake at such an ungodly hour,” she groaned. Stretching a bit, Viv tried to wipe all the sleep from her eyes before turning back to Amber with a lascivious grin.
“Do I at least get morning sex before this whole coffee date thing?” she asked half-jokingly, scooting closer and enveloping Amber in a playful bear hug. She understood if that was a no-no, but the hornier parts of herself had decided it couldn’t hurt to try.
“Nooo, don’t wake up because of m-” She’d been speaking over Viv, and that question had Amber’s mind going in a different direction mid-word. “You have no idea how tempting that is.” She smirked, but only for a second before it was taken over by worry. Her look towards the door told exactly where her thoughts had went.
Having sex in her parents’ house was risky as it was. Doing so in the morning when someone in her family could easily wake was pushing it. Her parents both worked, even this close to Christmas, and were scheduled to wake early. Amber looked back to Viv, biting her lip. As tempting as sex was, she’d be too caught up with anxiety to actually enjoy it.
“My parents will be up soon,” she explained apologetically. “And I don’t know how well last night’s silencing spell is holding. It could have worn off by now.” It was hard to make those things last. She knew because they did, in fact, have one room in the house that was permanently under silencing charms.
It seemed that in just a very short amount of time, her mood had deflated. “I should let you get back to sleep,” Amber spoke. Her voice was now a near-whisper in case her predictions about her silencing charms were true. As much as she was loathe to, she pulled away from Viv and sat up in the cold air.
“Nuuuuuu,” Viv groaned pitifully at Amber’s teasing, pulling her girlfriend back to her and clinging on. “I know you’re fucking with me, but sleep is serious business,” she muttered against Amber’s lips, a small smile taking the sting out of her words. She settled back in with Amber, fingers finding their way underneath Amber’s top to slot against the bars of her ribcage. It was comforting, being able to feel her heartbeat against her palm.
Still, Viv could tell that Amber wasn’t falling asleep again any time soon. Scooting closer, knees knocking with Amber’s as she fitted herself against her body, Viv tried to offer what support she could. “Did you get any sleep?” she asked, wishing she could see Amber’s face; the pre-dawn light was only enough to make out vague shapes.
Amber was smirking to herself at Viv’s statement about sleep. She had to agree. On the nights when sleep managed to find her, she would fall into it so deeply she could sleep through anything. It was nice to feel like she’d had a decent night of sleep once in a while.
She tried to drift off, but this was one of those times that simply wasn’t working for her. The waxing moon wasn’t entirely to blame. Amber knew she had to wake before her parents to sneak back to her own bedroom, and falling into too deep a sleep could end badly.
When Viv spoke again, Amber was still wide awake. “Some,” she answered. “I’d probably sleep better in my own bed, but I don’t wanna.” Lying curled up with Viv and sharing in each other’s warmth was far too nice to let go of. “Don’t worry, I know a good coffee place in walking distance that opens at seven.”
Viv made a pitiful mewling noise at hearing what time it was, cuddling closer to Amber in order to block out the knowledge that it was six o’fucking clock in the morning and she was on break. Still, having Amber here next to her and being woken was a lot better than waking up and finding that Amber wasn’t there, which sometimes happened. Viv didn’t know why Amber had left, but she was back and cuddle-able and that was all that mattered to her in that moment.
“I’m not awake…we’re not awake. Shhh,” Viv mumbled. Hopefully her girlfriend had gotten most of her restlessness out of her system - Viv wanted to stay in bed for a few hours more at least. Of course, she would get up if she absolutely had to, but she’d prefer not to have to.
Sleepy Viv was downright adorable. She’d likely ensure Viv’s wrath if she tried to keep her from sleeping, but Amber always liked to tempt fate. “Well if you’re not going to give me a reason to stay here,” she whispered, “I may as well go back to my own bed.”
To make her point, she rolled away from Viv’s arms, just so she could get a reaction. She couldn’t keep it up though. Amber snickered under her breath and rolled back to Viv’s side, pressing up against the warmth of her body. “I’m fucking with you. Go back to sleep.” She pressed a small kiss to Viv’s lips then lay her head back down on the pillow.
It was still five nights before the full moon, and frankly she better get more sleep or she was doomed to get even less over the next few nights. That included Christmas. Whoever chose to put a full moon two nights after Christmas was an asshole. Amber hoped that this restlessness was just the result of an unfamiliar bed, and her unfortunate ability to wake to every shuffle and loud breath of her bedmate, otherwise she’d be very cranky come Christmas day.
Seven broomsticks flying
Six pensive visions
FIVE GHOSTS THAT SING
Four Hogwarts houses
Three rogue frogs
Two new owls
and a wand that has specially chosen me!
For characters who play quidditch, write about their position on the team, that time they tried out and finally got in, or all those times they failed. Write about their feelings towards their team members, and if they would consider going on to play professionally.
For characters who don’t play quidditch, give their opinion on the game. Do they play casually? Do they want to be on a team? Or do they hate the game and avoid it entirely. When matches are on, do they scream their head off in the crowd, or do they sit sullenly, wishing to be elsewhere?
Amber probably would have tried out for the team in another life time, but she can’t afford that kind of attention. These days she’s a little more favourable towards the sport than she used to be. A certain Gryffindor Captain is to blame for that. Were Amber to ever try out for the team, which she won’t, she’d try out as a Beater.
Six pensive visions
FIVE GHOSTS THAT SING
Four Hogwarts houses
Three rogue frogs
Two new owls
and a wand that has specially chosen me!
Write in prose either: 6 short memories or 1 long memory from your character’s life before Hogwarts, focusing on the moments that either changed them or stuck with them the most.
FIVE GHOSTS THAT SING
Four Hogwarts houses
Three rogue frogs
Two new owls
and a wand that has specially chosen me!
There are ghosts all over Hogwarts, but some students have ghosts in their pasts too. Write in prose what would happen if someone deceased from your character’s past appeared to them one day. How would their conversation go and what kind of feelings would exist between them?
She’s the reason Amber can see Thestrals. The blame lies elsewhere, but it was her death Amber witnessed. It feels so long ago.
“You’ve grown so much,” the ghost says.
Amber was four years old when she witnessed the old woman die. The memories are hazed with time, but they’re still there.
“I wish I could have protected you better.”
Amber shook her head. “It wasn’t your fault. I shouldn’t have been such a brat. I should have gone to bed when I was told to.”
Tired and grumpy, the four-year-old Amber Alice had wanted to stay up for her family’s party. Her great-grandmother had been the one to volunteer to take her out for some fresh air, and to get that tantrum out of the house.
“You cannot blame yourself for that.”
“I can. You wouldn’t have been out there if it wasn’t for me. I should have died. Not you.”
“Stop this nonsense,” the ghost snapped. “I don’t know what you’re being taught in your new English school, but they’re wrong. A child’s life is always more valuable then an old lady’s.”
“Even if that child is me?” Amber sneered. “What kind of family rescues their child only to let her live as a werewolf?” She remembered the those fangs sinking into her Great Grandmother first, through the shoulder from behind as the old woman turned her back and shielded Amber with her body.
“You were worth it all, even if you can’t see if yet.”
Amber didn’t know what there was to see, but the ghost was already disappearing.
Amber thought nothing of the phonecall her mother received little before midday. She’d just been out with Viv, showing her her favourite place for coffee, and staying there long enough to order a second round of the life-giving liquid. Now home, her grandfather Kuo wanted to get to know Viv a little better, and Amber was helping translate the English words he didn’t know.
“Amber, come here I need to talk to you.” Her mother, Nicole, had the phone in her hand still, having just finished the call. She didn’t sound pleased.
Nicole at least had the courtesy of speaking in English for Viv’s sake. Amber looked back at Viv, unable to say how long she’d be because this kind of talk from her mother was hardly the norm.
The moment they both reached the kitchen, Nicole switched back to Mandarin.
“You told the whole family you’re gay?! Why?”
Yup, Amber was correct. Her mother wasn’t pleased. “Why not?” she shrugged. At least she now knew what this was about. In each and every one of those Christmas letters she was forced to write to her overseas family, she’d told them about her sexuality. An international phonecall back from them couldn’t have been cheap.
“We agreed we wouldn’t be telling them yet.”
“You and dad agreed. I didn’t.”
“You should have said something. You could have at least warned us.”
“Warned you?” Amber snorted disrespectfully. “Yeah, hey mum, I’m about to write this thing that’s going to be super embarrassing for you because apparently you still live in the twentieth century and care more about appearances than giving a fuck about whether you’re making your own daughter feel ashamed or not.”
“Language, Amber!”
“I’m done.” Amber turned her back.
“Don’t walk out on me!” Nicole was trying to keep the volume down, but Amber was sure that this was only because they had a guest in the house. Even if that guest couldn’t understand them.
“What, you’re going to try tell me after all this that you’re not ashamed of me?” Amber asked, flinging her arms out. She had, at least, turned back towards her mother.
“I’m not ashamed of you, dear.”
“Yes you are! You’re embarrassed because of something I am! At least this time it’s not about the werewolf thing, because you’re always ashamed about that.”
“I am not, and you should stop insulting your elders.”
“Sure.” Amber’s tone was clear that was the last thing in the world she would do.
“I’m not ashamed that you’re gay. You father and I just wanted some time to process it before telling the family.”
“Oh of course, that’s the reason.” Amber rolled her eyes. “You want to process it.” She drew out the word ‘process’ in a skeptical fashion, which in Mandarin had a nice ‘eeeeee’ sound at the end. “Makes sense.”
“Amber...” Nicole knew she was being purposefully insolent.
“No, I’m done. You and dad can keep your excuses. I’m going to go spend time with my girlfriend.” Amber left the kitchen, this time without being called back. Viv would be sure to question what had happened, and Amber knew she’d have to tell her.
