One look at the raven was all it took for
him to understand that his actions had
been misinterpreted. The dark aura
had never felt so SUFFOCATING.
He wanted to tell him that he thought
nothing wrong o the RAVEN for what
had happened the previous night but
he knew better than to bring it up,
especially when the Uchiha was so
bent on seeing only the worst in the
SITUATION. He wanted to scream
him, punch him & just cry. He just
wanted to show him a taste of what
it felt like to fall back into square one
after he had tried so HARD, so damn
helpless & frustrated.
❝ Fine. ❞ he gritted out, passing up on the
TEMPTING ideas & settling for a mere
clenching of fists & tightening of his jaw,
before grabbing a towel & stomping off.
The bathroom door rattled in its hinges
as he slammed the door SHUT, before
collapsing onto the floor against the
door, slightly muscular frame shaking
UNCONTROLLABLY. It was fucking
unfair. He had spent most of his life
chasing the raven, trying to prove his
worth to him in everything that he did.
He had made the Uchiha his PURPOSE,
the one who gave him a reason to go on.
& even nine years later, since the day they first
met, NOTHING had changed. Sasuke still made
him feel just the exact same way worthless.
& he hated himself for feeling so.
It was almost as if his existence was
VALIDATED by the raven’s approval
& that made him feels so warm & yet
so utterly cold inside, at the SAME
time. And all these years, he would
always rise up against the raven but
right then, he just wanted to get away.
Sasuke’s emotions were raw, &
they stabbed him with every syllable.
He didn’t know how he had ended up showering,
but then again it was his morning routine to do
so right after brushing his TEETH.
He wrapped the towel around his waist,
exhaling a shaky breath as he mentally
prepared himself to FACE the Uchiha,
azure optics resolute. He wanted things
to be normal, between them. & he’d take
a thousand lash-out sessions if that was
what it took. Maybe, just maybe, he and
Sasuke only wanted the same things. &
they both KNEW no way of getting it.
❝ I’m out. You can go in…after a moment. I
just Sasuke, I About this morning,
I was just surprised to see you. I wasn’t
THINKING straight or at all. You were
just there & I hallucin Nevermind. I
just want to a-apologize. ❞
it felt like hours to him before the other emerged. probably because
he was still angry. time seemed to c r a w l when he was this upset.
he was hurt & bitter over something so stupid over NOTHING,
really. he should be used to people scrambling to get away from him
. . . but it was different with naruto. he was never like that. it seemed
like he was always fighting to get to his side. always struggling to keep
up. sasuke knew he needed that in his life. he knew he needed someone
to care about him. someone to WANT him, even as broken & flawed as
he was. maybe that’s what stung the most for him. just seeing naruto
withdraw trying so clearly to keep from touching him, like he really
was as TAINTED & TOXIC as he felt.
black orbs rose to meet light blue, the scowl still set on his face from
earlier softening slightly at his team mates confession. surprised?
his head fell, studying the uneven floors to give his gaze something
else to fix on. as much as he wanted to believe him. . . as wonderful
as that would feel for him, he was cautious now.
“ don’t be so stupid . . . & i don’t care anyway. so just move. “
his words tasted cold even to him, but it was the knee-jerk reaction he
was used to. this was how he always protected himself. how he kept
from being hurt by EVERYTHING he just had to act like he didn’t
c a r e. usually, that was enough.
but he wasn’t sure it would be this time.
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