Vainglory

I'm not sure why there are so many cats here.

[americanizedeuropean]

Goodbye, my darlings

Today was my final day at Abberley Hall Prep School. I love you all very much. I care about each and every one of you individually, and I will miss you all terribly. I wish I could stay to help more, to smile at you and say a cheery “Good morning!” and then at the end of a long, active day to share one final laugh and wish you “Good night”. I wish we could one last time sing and dance at Bread in…

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[americanizedeuropean]

Have you ever noticed… "And what he saw then, he afterwards never saw again. He was especially moved by children going to school, the grey-blue pigeons that flew down from the roof to the pavement, and the white rolls sprinkled with flour that some invisible hand had set out.

[americanizedeuropean]

木漏れ日

A bright veil draping — Filtering through darkness escapes; It leaves light shadows. — Sofia Angelina Giugno

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[americanizedeuropean]

Body

I’m really struggling right now with my body and food. I know that I should eat, but… I want to stop. I know it’s unhealthy, but the power it gave me was greater than the weakness it caused. I want to lose weigh and drop down to 100 lbs. That’s my new goal weight. I have 8 lbs to lose and then I’ll be happy. 100 lbs, 24″ waist, thigh gap, collar bones. Perfect. Today I had a binge. I had cinnamon…

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[americanizedeuropean]

Poetry

I am starting to understand that sincere poetry isn’t comfortable to write. In fact… I think poetry springs from conflict, at least for me, between my head and my heart, and that’s incredibly painful because I know that I always, always follow my heart. At the moment, my mind is in control, and I am listening to it because to not do so would be completely self-destructive and therefore…

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[americanizedeuropean]

Private

I’ve been forced to make my blog private. It’s too selfish of me… people have even accused me of cyber bullying. If that is the case, then I’m bullying myself really. I sort of agree though because I just posted a poem about… well… it’s sort of how I still love Ollie, and that I want to be with him in the future, but it would break my current “boyfriend’s” heart, again, and I love him too, and I…

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[americanizedeuropean]

Her eyes are faded, though brightest green, And his – they change – Yet to settle – yet to be Definite – they roam ‘twixt land and sea. Once – they matched – and mirrored – as glass – Hearts once beating-beating – fast – Devouring, the flames of youth – impassioned – Burned forest eyes to faint grey – ashen And staring then – green into grey – Or Blue – Or Hazel – ’tis too soon to say – After…

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[americanizedeuropean]

Fears, not facts.

I didn’t know my blog had such an audience. I didn’t realise it was anyone’s business, or that people cared so much about the feelings of someone suffering with depression and anxiety. But you don’t. What frustrates me most is how seriously people believe in me when I’m clearly unwell, and the extent to which they make my life harder by talking about it and spreading it. Whatever you think you’ve…

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[americanizedeuropean]

Birthday

It’s my 18th birthday today. I’m crying. I cried all morning. I’ve lost one of my friends, she hates me now, because I embarrassed her by crying in front of everyone. He forgot it was today. I cried. I hit my head. A lot. I found them together. She was wrapped in his coat. The way I used to be. TThe way I used to be. “I don’t know”. I cried. I threw an umbrella at him. She left. We talked. It was…

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[americanizedeuropean]

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, does it make a sound?

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, does it make a sound?

I don’t want you to listen to me. I want you to hear me. Passively. Hear me.   Hey I miss you. I love you. It’s not going away as much as I wish it would. Don’t you dare stop loving me. Don’t you dare forget me, like I’m petty or insignificant. I’m not. I’m the best woman you will ever meet. I love you the best, darling, so no, it’s not going to disappear. You can hear me still, can’t you….…

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[americanizedeuropean]

You are my own personal class A drug.

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[americanizedeuropean]

It hurts so much. Please don’t. You’re all I have, and now I don’t have you even.why is this happening It hurts so much, make it stop please I can’t live through it please make it stop you can It hurts It hurts

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[americanizedeuropean]

Need vs Want

This isn’t particularly difficult to write. It is revealing, yes, but I don’t think I feel ashamed of the problems I’m facing. I may feel ashamed of my weakness and how pathetic my mind is. It’s been broken, you see, and so has my heart, and my body – starved. I think Hugo or Nabokov must have written some flawless lines on this, and I don’t thin I’m on the verge of writing something profoundly…

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[americanizedeuropean]

These words are wrought of Iron. They cage the bird within — It tries to fly away from Here — But is — each turn — Closed In. The Cage is not Sufficient — Too small — too Plain — and so: Loathe am I to shut Him in — More so to let Him go — You see, this bird is Fleeting — For days, or sometimes — Hours — I wait — he sings his code to me — Then leaves — my Peace devours! My mind can’t function…

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[americanizedeuropean]

What is done in Love is done right is wrong?

They do not see from their place there — They do not hear the same; My music is a ‘bysmal wail — Though once was Ours, I swear —   Your words aren’t honest as your face — Your eyes declare them false — The way your feet tread to and fro — Tells more than words, I know —   Inconstant as the skies above — But Always — hand in hand — And still I stand — through wind and rain — Till Hand once more…

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[cyberho]

I swear rihanna is not real

[theinturnetexplorer]

Actual Reasons Why People Were Dumped

[pavlovscorgi]

is this post secret