An Unaesthetic life

26| she/they| reading, poetry, plants, life, a little bit of everything| life is meant to be lived

[amessycozylife]

Welcome to my messy, cozy, unaesthetic life!

You can call me Rach. I'm a marine biologist but I currently work with alligators. I have a little window garden and an old, blind ferret. I'm autistic and use the gym to help me regulate myself and my emotions/nervous system. I used to be a competition photographer but haven't touched a camera in a serious nature in a while and that was the start of me realizing that I'm here to live life, not to perform for others.

I have this blog to just share bits about myself and my life and to help myself find new ways to see the beauty in life!

Hobbies and interests include:

Gaming (stardew is #1 for me rn but I also play a lot of others like the origins series, halo, b4b, skyrim, etc)

Reading. I've always been a big reading person, but I am a slow reader

Science obviously since I'm a marine biologist

Cooking and mixology

Window gardening

Reptiles

Fitness

Kayaking, hiking, just being outside really

I do have side blogs for stardew valley and poetry/quotes as well. Don't be shy if you have questions or just want to talk or anything!

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

always some new bullshit in the ocean

[local-demon-in-your-area]

Why is it always orcas or dolphins

Why can't a salmon do some bullshit for once

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

worry not ☝️ they're doing coke

[amessycozylife]

I work in the public health/safety field in a tourist area and oh my god you wouldn't believe how often managers of places who DEFINITELY are not being paid enough will try to argue with me when I tell them what things need to be fixed to make sure no one gets hurt. Like my goal and their goal SHOULD be the same; ensuring people who are there are having a great time and get to return home healthy and unharmed. But the things I see everyday have me realizing that these managers don't care until someone gets hurt (or worse) and then try to blame me for not telling them about the hazards (it is always documented that I informed them). Like sorry, no you can't just have a trashcan filled with unknown chemicals sitting next to a pool. And no, you can't serve that chicken that's been sitting out for 5 hours at 120°F. You would think it would be common sense.

[zebra-all-the-time]

Fishblr help

If anyone can help identify this fish. I saw it in a relaxation fish compilation video swimming in a coral reef. Here is an artist's rendition

[amessycozylife]

It could be a trumpet fish like @skyeabridged suggested. Was it like this? There's more information on the Australian Museum website here about these really cool fish

[amessycozylife]

I just got a prank call about an STI. Back in my day, we prank called about pizza. Kids these days are on another level lmao

[squeakitties]

wikipedia no longer being anywhere near the top of search results when looking up anything feels eviscerating

[ichorandpride]

#they really said “you can’t use wiki as an academic source-use our garbage AI that’s even less reliable”#and you can’t even opt out of it

no but you can FORCE it away. use ublock origin and copy paste the blacklist i made into the filters to be able to remove the bullshit AI overview that google forces. it also removes youtube's forced ads (at least until they fix it)

you can also use the ublacklist extension and use this blacklist of AI image generation websites to curate your google image results

there are ALWAYS ways around stuff. it's just a matter of looking into it and asking around

[nicenice7]

I'M FREE

[alistairsprayerwarrior]

FOR WIKIPEDIA!!!!

[queeranarchism]

Also: bookmark Wikipedia and if you already know that it's the wiki that you want, go DIRECTLY to Wikipedia and use the search bar there.

Every time you Google anything, they get data that they can sell, their advertisers get exposure that they pay for and their datacenters use a fuckload of energy. Bookmark Wikipedia.

[mazout-fm]

For the love of all that’s unholy, please bookmark your favourite websites and stop googling them OMG

You can even add Wikipedia in the quick search engine list on Mozilla Firefox - on your computer and on your phone 🦊 - just select the Wikipedia icon next to your search bar

[amessycozylife]

I have finally decided that I will never complete a full run of skyrim, so I have started to mod it. I spent literal real life HOURS trying to find a mod object and gave up when I realized that I never even needed that and could just cheat.

Anyways, cheers to new things and new adventures!

I'm going to start filling npcs homes i don't like with skulls and/or potatoes now!

[amessycozylife]

It's crazy what activity, nutrition, outside time, and social activities can do for your mental health. But what's even crazier is how much MEDICATION can do for your mental health because doing everything doesn't always help and sometimes your brain just needs a little supplement.

[amessycozylife]

If anyone wants to learn new skills this year, my cat is hosting a master class to teach everyone how to manipulate those around you for food even when you already have so much food

[bite-sized-morsels]

Is your cat a billionaire?

[amessycozylife]

He believes so lmao

[amessycozylife]

If anyone wants to learn new skills this year, my cat is hosting a master class to teach everyone how to manipulate those around you for food even when you already have so much food

[psychotic-gerard]

the thing about disability is it really does sometimes boil down to "wow i wish i could do that" and then you can't. and it sucks.

[psychotic-gerard]

accomodations are important but i think they miss the point of this post. sometimes you can't do it. at all. someone needs to do it for you or it will never happen.

[psychotic-gerard]

"and then you force yourself anyway" folks im starting to think some of you really do not understand what it means to not be able to do things.

[amessycozylife]

With the new year coming up, remember that resolutions don't have to be big, grand, exciting, or even exist. Your resolution doesn't have to make sense to anyone else or impress them. It could be something like remembering to brush your hair/teeth daily or to take time to look at flowers on the side of the road. Don't let anyone pressure you to make some giant commitment that you don't really want to. And don't feel obligated to make or share resolutions either.

[amessycozylife]

I have been gone for a while because of a lot of personal things. I needed to get myself right, but I am back. I am working on being better and getting better. And being slower has really helped a lot. I don't need to be productive every day. I don't need to do everything completely. I don't need to be busy all the time. I'm allowed peace and relaxation and to just exist. And slowly but surely I am getting better.

[amessycozylife]

Exciting update! I am officially a grad student and have completed my first couple graduate school assignments!

[amessycozylife]

Its been a crazy couple of weeks out here. But the antidepressants are finally starting to kick in and I made myself a big breakfast today! Did I push it until I was very hungry? Yes. Am I exhausted after? Also yes. But I still did it and ate it. It wasn't anything much, but it was still a mountain that I finally climbed with the help of medication. I am so happy I finally got over my terrible experience with psychiatric care and gave it another go. I can't wait to see what I'm actually capable of.

[amessycozylife]

I love pretending to have a normal life when I have the life the chaotic side character that should be the main character has. Like i don't have normal childhood stories. I am a medical anomaly with a tumor in a spot that has zero medical literature for someone my age and is 100% lethal if it becomes malignant and I've had a cousin die from a similar condition, just this morning I was almost kidnapped and that situation has happened so many times to me in normal settings that I actually forgot about it until I decided to ask where the cameras at work are so I know where to park when I get there tonight, I have had multiple attempts on my life for things I had ZERO involvement in, I humiliated a guy who threatened to stab me at a bar, I've been bit by so many different animals you might as well call me coyote Peterson or whatever his name is, I'm waiting on a pet spider that's being raised by a bartender, I've almost died in so many ways I could rank deaths from most to least painful, I almost accidentally put myself in a medical coma, there's several people walking around who have vowed to kill me and only one actually knows me, and thats not even the half of it. Can I please have a boring life now? Pretty please??? I've lived too many lives already. I think I'll be ok with boring right now. And this is totally normal for anyone else in my family, btw. Like I have some of the most boring stories in my family. I am so tired.

Anyone know boring jobs that are easy to get into with a science background that pay enough to scrape by? I need a boring job too

[amessycozylife]

Being autistic in a small poor town sucks because the only store option that isn't a 30 minute drive is Walmart so everyone and their aunt is there all the time and back to school season has made getting groceries today so bad. I'm sitting in my car trying to not puke and my skin and muscles HURT from being so overstimulated from all the people and noise and traffic in there. I hate this so much. Getting teeth ripped out was more enjoyable than that. Even the ac in my car is now too loud because my brain is just done and can't handle anything else. I could probably sleep for hours now