Amster-ash @amsterash-blog - Tumblr Blog

Coincidence that the Dutch word for ‘staircase’ is ‘trap’? No. All staircases here are TRAPS.

Today my bosses gave me a pair of nikes (legends). My brother called me to tell me that he won a pie eating contest (always has been a legend). I *may* have gotten a house. I skyped one of my besties, Santiago. Missing my fam and friends, but excited for a change! Tonight I dream about nikes and pies.

Dutch lessons w/ Justin and Joren, my new super-best-desk-friends.

Post brought to you by google translate, my all-time super-best-friend.

ps. maximaal leuk is obvi my fave saying

Recently I learnt the Dutch word for tree: "boom". Unfortunately, this desensitised me to the word "bom". So instead of moving away from the "bom" I was thinking about lush "boom(s)" and blissfully unaware of the impending "bom" (not "boom") doom. Definitely was not a tree.

#nye #notatree

I believe that it’s safe to say that I’ve never, ever been colder than this very moment.

Tomorrow, double layers on all extremities!

#frostbite #netherlands

The moment when you yell ‘RAINBOWS’ at your boss, and he realises just how crazy you really are.

It has happened. Today I got stuck in the tram tracks while riding my bike. I became a tram. It hurt, a lot. Trams are the enemy. But then I found this place. And it was nice.

Currently dreaming of some sort of rotisserie style heating device that will warm my cold body. Currently making my own rotisserie, by manually rotating my body around the heater. I am the chicken.

#roast chicken

Today I found portion controlled hagelslag and a ginger flavoured peanut butter looking substance. Winter is just around the corner. So too is obesity.

I spent approx 1hr this afternoon concerned for the welfare of a pumpkin. Pumpkin pictured above, strapped to my bike, Pinto (Pumpkin remains nameless). I really like this pumpkin for the following reasons: 1. It was free, 2. I can strap it to my bike and still appear sane. It also tasted ok.

#pompoen gratis lekker sanity

Today’s post goes out to Hagelslag. In my eyes, it is akin to crack. For those of you who don’t know, you spread this chocolate crack on bread and eat it for breakfast (or, forever). I have composed an ode* to Hagelslag, and this is it:

____

Hagelslag, you're perfect Don't please don't change a thing Our records all show You are filthy but fine

You're the one pool Where I'd happily drown

Hagelslag, goodbye.

____

*Ode heavily influenced by the song “New York, I Love You But You're Bringing Me Down” by LCD Soundsystem.

I have placed a life-long Hagelslag ban upon myself, effective immediately. Earlier, I ate a fig covered in honey and it did nothing to fill the Hagelslag shaped hole in my heart.

Note: This afternoon there was a fire in my suburb. Now there is a strange burning plastic smell lingering in the air. I think the plastic smell has temporarily fried my brain. Therefore, this post has been brought to you by my suburb fire. Doei.

#hagelslag #lcd soundsystem #ode #fig #netherlands

So, today was my first day back at work after four months of (f)unemployment. It feels strange. Firstly, I met infinity Dutch people. One is super loose and loves nothing more than yelling “G’Day mate” across the room. Most of the time I’m too shocked to respond. I’ve also made two solid friends. I can’t pronounce the name of one. The other works for an entirely different company. I even know what friend no. 2 is having for dinner (sushi).

Today I got two job offers. I took one. And then I took mushrooms. And then I spent about three hours thinking I was flat. Like two dimensional.

#flat #twodimensional #job #employed #safetyfood

New day, new Airbnb. Also, new cat friend. Cat friends name is 'Banjer', however I like to call him Pudding 2.0. It appears that Pudding 2.0 actually likes me, and other people. Take note Original Pudding. Today I found out that the Dutch are the tallest people in the world. Literally, I was told, then I googled it and multiple sources have confirmed it to be true. So, the shortest person you know has gone to live amongst the tallest people that you don't know. Goed (Dutch for good). Explains why I have to jump to reach the light switch (actually not exaggerating, actually have to jump). Ps. Also stumbled across a carnival.

#giants

Today, I almost broke my brain.

Step one to breaking brain: yolo-ing on public transport en route to job interview.

Step two to breaking brain: forget to eat. Schlep body across Holland.

Step three to breaking brain: arrive at Airbnb internet-less, food-less, energy-less, with absolutely no idea where you are in the world.

Note to self: the brain needs carbs.

I’ve never been happier to see a Jumbo (supermarket) in my life.

Things to note:

Public transport yolo-ing to interview took me past a ‘Botel’ which was mildly amusing.

This morning I was in the biggest apartment block I’ve ever seen in my life. Complete fire hazard. Now, I’m alone in a house #blessed. Sidenote: kinda worried about choking on my food and being eaten by Alsatians.

My Airbnb host messaged me earlier in the day, saying he’d left a small gift for me on my bed. I arrived eagerly anticipating a doob/chocolate bar/alcohol, only to find ... a magnet. I know I’m being ungrateful, but man I wish the small gift was something that I could have ingested.

This house has been built for giants, and is equipped with a bath tub. Bath tub is too big for my body, which is great.

It’s a great day to be alive.

#airbnb #carbsarelife #botel #giants

People of the tumblr world. Please direct your attention to this little dog. Also, see bottom right, the little dogs little stick. I was casually sitting in my fave park, trying to de-sweat (how on earth do the Dutch bike like maniacs then casually get off and walk around like they're not puffed AF). Then this little guy trotted over, dropped his little stick, and stared at me expectantly. We played fetch, and now we are best friends. His owner had to drag him away from me. Le sigh. I shall visit the park every day and wait for his return. I am funemployed, after all.

Adventuring in the ghetto. So, apparently I'm still not integrated (because ya know, I've been here for like a week). I accidentally got in the way of two bikes at the same time. We basically played goose. It was like top gun. Life and death situation. I survived.

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

Amster-ash