Live everyday like you're Glen Coco.

My name is Amy Savage. I make weird faces, like dinosaurs and my dream is to live inside a massive cupcake. Whatever.

[amyisatoaster-blog]

What even is this website?

I came across this site in my bookmarks, decided to open up an account to rant my life away and it says that I already had one. I googled Tumblr to figure out what it actually was to see if it would jog my memory but to no avail.  I  had to do the whole say 'forgotten your password?' thing.

Turns out I posted several times last year. Maybe I was drunk and forgot. Wouldn't be the first time I blogged drunk.

It's funny how the last time I apparently wrote on this website my life was spiraling downhill and now again when I am posting... it's not much better.   There must be a silver lining somewhere soon? Liiiiike, Ryan Gosling will meet me and fall in love with me?

A girl can dream.

Highlight of the Day: Seeing a hot guy in Tesco accidentally take his t shirt off with his jumper. He had bits.

What i'm watching: 30 Rock. I want to marry Kenneth.

What i'm listening to: Jake Bugg.

Current obsession: Doughnuts.

[amyisatoaster-blog]

So i'm clearing out my bomb site of a room and i come across my New Year's Resolutions that i made in an honest attempt to keep.  Let's see how many i actually kept...

1. Pay back Topshop as soon as humanly possible, also overdraft or they WILL take your bed.  Create a payment plan.

2. Give someone more mature your debit card to control apparent spending problem.  They are to give me money for food only when needed Eg. When dying of hunger/thirst.

3. Try not to attract weird little pricks, you have enough of these in friend list already.

4. Attend work without complaint as this funds habits.

5. Join the gym and actually attend or else your ass will not disappear.

6. Stay away from coke (drink not drug) and pringles.  They are the devil.

7. Do not eat take away.  Ever.

8. Stop being a cow to people i hate.  They are people too.  Really annoying bastards, but people too.

9. Do not keep relationships/friendships with total dickweeds, arseholes, perverts, football hooligans, creepy freaks or mental people.

10. Drop a dress size. Or 4.

11. Stop eating SO much chocolate, fatty.

12. Only buy shoes when absolutely neccessary ie when they are ripped apart.

13. Reduce facebook stalking by 700%

14. Do not stop until he takes his top off, then leave as probably will break resolution 10.

15. Stop spending copious amounts of money at work.  You do not need more shower gel.

16. Sort out online banking as you cry every time you see the homeless man.

17. Grow.

18. Start thinking about anti-wrinkle cream. Getting old.

19. Alcohol - do not be tempted into going out and getting sloshed when broke and have exams/work/important shit to do the next day.

I have kept a grand total of 1.

That is PATHETIC.

Resolutions suck.

[amyisatoaster-blog]

Yet another rant.

The weather pisses me off. You leave in the morning when it's blowing a gale and pissing it down with rain to then leave work and it's fucking a thousand degrees outside. Whaaat? There were people in their bloody shorts! Halfway through walking home, it's like the Dementors have arrived and there's all this shite cloud. Boo. I want an ice lolly regardless.

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Hi.

Hi friend.  I am approximately 2 metres away from you.  Couldn't have said that with yer gob?  I want a Creeper scarf.

[amyisatoaster-blog]

Every dark cloud has a silver lining.

Dear Gemma Gallagher, if you are reading this you are literally the cutest person ever.

'Are you ok? I read your tumblr and you sound so sad'

AAGH <3 Dramatic effect dahling.  I am an over-imaginative freak.  It's why you love me.

Today has been a good day.  I was working in St Andrews for The Body Shop all day so no rushing about, just sitting on a wee seat watching Hottie after Hottie walk past.  Beautiful people.  Again... why am i in Dundee? St Andrews, i need you.  Do they all look like Abercrombie models?  Or was i that hungry i started to hallucinate?  Hmmm... wouldn't suprise me in the slightest.

Have found the cutest little flat!  I am not telling you fuckers where, because one of you will see this and go and steal it away from me. Nasty buggers.  It's cute and purple.  I like purple.

Have also decided that a full time job may not be the worst thing in the world seeing as i will actually be able to afford things.

All in all, good day.  Think i'll spend my night nerding out playing Minecraft.  Watching Minecraft videos.  Trying to get my flatmate to allow me to buy a Minecraft scarf.  It's just so nice.

Happy fluffy thoughts everyone.  Peace and love.

[amyisatoaster-blog]

Friday 13th. The day I dropped my sandwich.

Hello noone,

I have decided to make this an online diary.  Perhaps Helen Fielding will come across it and decide to rewrite Bridget Jones.  Sigh.

I'm still really pissed off about today's events.  I dropped my sandwich.  Greggs.  So nice.  For a split second i considered picking it up again, couldn't do it.  Maybe there's hope for me yet... :|

I think i must weigh about 10 million lbs, i feel guilty after having chinese last night and work trousers today didn't fit.  Rather unnerving to have quit job and become insanely obese in the space of one day.  Uncool.  With this in mind, i'll still finish the rest of it for tea.  C'est la vie.

My day today was work in the new place 9 til 10.30, Body Shop 11 to; 3, then back to new place for 3.30 til 5.30.  I slept this morning til 9.  Even Flash couldn't have gotten there fast enough, so what did i do? Lay in bed and thought, FUCK IT.  I find it odd that i am stressing so much about finding a way to stay in Dundee and panicking about what i'll be doing with my life and yet i stay in bed without calling or emailing new full time job to say that i wouldnt be there in the morning.  I find it even weirder that by the time i got there at 3.30 they didn't give a shit.

BALLS to the having no money thing.  I just got paid from TITP. HOW AM I BROKE AGAIN? Seriously, what did i spend it on other than shitty wee clothes, food and alcohol???

I have issues.

Thought for the day: Dundee sucks.  Why am i trying to stay here again?

[capshaws]

[amyisatoaster-blog]

47/50 pictures of flawless people

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I literally love these boys.  I feel kind of stalkerish... listening to them play their games. Hmmm...

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There are 3 billion women who don't look like supermodels and only 8 who do.

Anita Roddick, The Body Shop

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ROBOTS OR DINOSAURS?

That is physically the hardest question you could ever ask.  Jurassic Park v Transformers. NO.

...I AM OPTIMUS PRIME

[amyisatoaster-blog]

Entry One. Day One.

Hi.  My name is Amy and i'm an arsehole.  Just to let you all know upfront that my life is on a serious downward spiral.  If you are reading this, stop... i will literally bore you to tears.  I am not too sure what i am doing with my life and i have decided that i don't give two fucks. (Maybe if i did i would not be in the current predicament).

Have been 'studying' at Abertay for the past two years and when i say studying, i don't mean that.  At all.  I have done nothing but drink, party, drink some more, go to work occassionally, and stay as far away from uni as humanly possible.  Worked pretty well, seeing as i have now been withdrawn from my course.  Who cares.  Shite anyway.  Today i had to hand in my resignation for a part time job that i LOVE - selling shower gels to old birds at The Body Shop was my calling.  Just not enough money in life to keep it so i am now working in the completely dodgy centre the Forum.  For anyone who has never been in the Forum, let me paint you a little picture...

Imagine a place where Dundee junkies go during the day to hang out when their eyes cannot handle the bright lights of the day.  Loads of night people go there too.  Like the kind of people who go to 24 hour supermarkets.  Like that man who i seen once in Riverside Tesco who wore a black coat and had BATMAN written on his head.  He came up to me and asked me would i be his Robin and if i would buy him a pencil.  I ran.  RAN.

Also, i'm a fat pie.  I love chinese food.  I have just had chinese food.  Chinese food was good.

I have no life.

Ciao for now, fuckarz.