an artificial reality

Craigslist conversations about thoughts on social media today. Does it detach us from reality? Is there a disconnect between our onine and offline selves?

[an-artificial-reality]

Kou T

Basically social media is nothing like real life conversation. When people talk online.. Unless they actually know the person from a personal point of view. If they don't then its like people are just talking to a picture on the screen. That's how their mind works. They don't feel they are actually talking to a real human being. 

AR: That's true. But also, are people dedicating experiences and things just to post online to show people? When in reality, it is completely false? Also, are people missing out on real life experiences because they're too caught up with their life behind the screen. Just food for thought you know? I feel like social media is starting to affect people in real life. Maybe not the cause with that many though.

It honestly only affects those who are already really insecure with themselves. Those are the types that posts a lot of stuff either hoping to gain attention or just to see what others think. Those are as well the type to say things that are wrong online because either they want a certain reaction or its to make themselves feel better. But like I said earlier most of the people who do this are people who are really insecure with themselves. Majority of people who are fine with themselves have no real reason to lie or be "fake" online cause they love themselves. Im an aspiring actor and I work with a lot of cool people like myself. We have dreams and ambition. People with self confidence cause we have to in order to achieve our goals. None of them posts anything fake or sometimes not at all. Because their lives revolve around what they do in life and not on virtual reality. This is what I learned from the online dating world and social media. Border line is that it is affecting peoples everyday life but only if their lives are already in doubt. If that makes any sense to you.

AR: Yes! This definitely makes a lot of sense. Being in college, I'm trying to find out who I am and who / what I want to become and sometimes it's difficult with the presence of social media. Different influences can really affect a person I think. I did have a period of low self-confidence and I do think that social media added to this. And I did receive validation when I would post pictures and receive likes, comments, etc. Which is so scary to me, because in reality it really means nothing. I also think that I sometimes post things in hopes that certain people will view it. Which is strange because I should just reach out to them, but because of certain circumstances, I can't. So my form of communication with them is a snapchat story, an instagram, a facebook post because I know they will see it. And I don't want to live like that! Haha, it seems absurd. 

Well you do what you can right? Anyways my suggestion would be to just go out and live life. Don't be stupid and party everyday but really live life. Find your dreams and passion in life. Find things you want to do and go do them. Focus on building yourself up. Don't buy into what the majority says. Also learn to look at everything from all different perspectives in life. Don't try to focus on ones only self. By that I mean don't live solely for the purpose of yourself. The world as it is, is seriously too self centered and only caries about its own happiness. Learn to love others even if they may hate you. Find joy in life but also appreciate what it means to be sad and the fact of being sad. Appreciate everything in your life because its all precious whether its anger or tears of joy. They all make who you are. But don't let the influence of the online world impact who you are in person. Make your own path and others will eventually follow. I could honestly sit here and all day and say all these things to you but at the end of the day its your life. Its just these are the things I tell myself everyday. I love myself and my life. Don't worry too much about social media girl, just go out and actually live. :)

[an-artificial-reality]

Ben D

I don't use social media for a number of reasons lol. mostly because personally I feel like it makes me forget how to communicate in person and because I think it brings out the stupidity in people lol idk i feel like theres a lot of negative stuff attached to having social media, but thats strictly my opinion

[an-artificial-reality]

James

I always just think the social media account are just a front who we are but once we turn them off and we're alone then we become who we really are. I'm constantly like that. I try at times to front an outgoing and funny individual who has confidence but when it comes down to it then I am generally miserable and alone. A get cry from who I pretend to be on social media and in person. Yes, I do have social media account but I'm by no means an everyday  poster because that same misery has a tendency to bleed out if I spend too much time on it .

AR: But, I agree. I think we're living too much in hopes of others' validation and approval and we forget that our own happiness comes from within. I think that the constant updates from our so-called "friends" really takes a toll on our esteems. We feel like we need to keep up with our followers / friends when in reality, do these people affect your life at all? If we were to delete our social media, we would most likely lose more than half of these connections. The ones online are hardly meaningful. So chin up!! I'm focusing on working on myself and to love myself when I am alone. And it is a process, but it will be worth it. 

[an-artificial-reality]

Patrick A

My life is hard....(to my perspective) the main reason I make it hard than it is by....excuses, idiocy mistakes, letting myself again again.... What get me going is understanding my fuck ups and learning from them and bit by bit making my life easier one step at a time.... 

Letting others affect how you live/feel, will lead their demise... That the problem of the of world today we let other control you feel and do instead of picking and choosing you follow to an trap of no return.....

[an-artificial-reality]

Andres G.

I think social media disconnects people from genuine intent. Its more about being on their phone rather than experiencing it in a real life situation in person. And egos rise, they just roll out a proverbial red carpet for themselves. It's all a cry for attention and everyone just wants to be cool. I could say all I want on how bad and even how good but I have to remember that we are all different. I just stick to those I am compatible with. Most of the time, it's like they're being brainwashed more than they are intent on being disconnected and impersonal.

AR: I do think a lot of it is a cry for attention. People need validation from an audience a lot of times. But why is this? Are people's self confidence lower? Are people more narcissistic? Are we just lonelier today? 

I think the fact that we need someone else to procreate should give enough if a pardon as far as wanting or even needing attention goes. It's all just a mating ritual, but with a very bizarre method.  And social media perverts that. It enables people, putting themselves on a pedastal, corrupting the purpose of online communication.  Now its a way to command and conquer and everyone is their own army. Women especially, I'm surprised they don't rule the world. All these female need to do is post something even remotely perverted and sheep will follow with their tongues hanging out and their eyes rolled to the back of their head. I have found not even good evening catches anyone's attention anymore, in fact, they demonize anyone who even bothers just to say hello, it's apparently not enough of a greeting. I like to think it is only amongst the younger crowd that it is the worst. But when you get older and you still pervert yourself with social media, well, that's just sad. Id like to think the need for something genuine becomes the craved more so than spoon fed attention through a media source

[an-artificial-reality]

Cooper Lovejoy

you already know that’s the case. of course people will edit the reality of who they are online. i myself have several distinct personalities online. of course most people also have different personalities in real life as well. i’m not sure if anyone is 100% real on any platform. who wouldn’t want to “put their best foot forward” so to speak. the internet is a separate reality. i try to be real in person. i don’t like to change who i am depending on the situation, but on the net you can be whoever and whatever you want.

AR: I do agree with you. I was just wondering if this was the general consensus. Some people are very raw and real all the time, wherever they go. Of course people are going to put their best foot forward, but do people take this a step further? That’s what I’m trying to get at. Like are people dedicating experiences and things just to post online to show people. When in reality, it is completely false? Also, are people missing out on real life experiences because they’re too caught up with their life behind the screen. Just food for thought you know?

of course. i know several people who have this image built up on facebook and whatnot that is totally opposite of what they are actually like and what they are actually doing. even to the point of having their place of residence falsly listed. really it’s nothing different than what a lot of entertainers do. eminem and marilyn manson portray a certain image on stage, but when interviewed seem like completely different, almost normal, individuals. i also know several people that get caught up in their “online life”. i myself fall into that trap on occasion, mostly due to the fact that most of the really cool friends ive made along the way have found their way out of this little town. conversely, i have and will be experiencing a lot of really cool real life experiences because of maintaining an online connection with these individuals. i don’t know about the general consensus, but in my opinion, i have a hard time trusting and believing most people in real life. i automatically assume anything on the internet is false until proven otherwise. like if i come across a piece of information i’ve got to find at least 3 other reputable sites backing it up before i accept it. i’d go to the library for verification, if we still had one. honestly, this conversation has been one of the realest i’ve had on the internet with someone i didn’t know personally, but the topic was one that requires a little bit of real. all that being said, i’m sure there are some people that try to paint an accurate picture of themselves online, but even then, you can have multiple personalities and who would ever know? the world’s a crazy place, especially with the rich online universe we have created. honestly it amazes me that we are here in the first place, much less havent eradicated ourselves from existence yet.

AR: I do agree with you again. I also fall into that trap, but recently I’ve just been trying to keep it real online. Yet, it feels like I am still posting things in hopes that other people that I care about but no longer talk to will see it and see that I am doing great even though they are not in my life. Sounds weird, but it just happens. I’m trying to figure out to just live for myself and live in the moment. I feel like its sometimes hard for me to find happiness in what I’m doing at the time because it hasn’t been validated by someone else. Does that make sense?

i know exactly what you mean. honestly its even harder to be honest online because you make the decision what to put out there.  i think that’s become one of the biggest problems in modern society. everyone is seeking validation from others. the truth is, and i’m just learning this myself, that the only person you need validation from is yourself. the biggest problem with seeking outside validation comes when someone doesn’t agree or approve. this makes you feel bad about yourself when, in reality, their opinion shouldn’t matter. happiness isn’t something you can find. i’ve been making that mistake looking for happiness in a relationship, activity, material thing, or something outside of myself. the truth about happiness is that it’s a state of mind. i’ve been going through one of the toughest times of my life. my car breaks down, i may very well be homeless in a few days, i don’t have a lot of money, but for some reason i’ve been pretty happy and content. with all the programming we are exposed to telling us the things we need to be happy and complete it can be hard to get your head around, but there are only two things that are required for a living human: breathing and dying. if you’re going to die anyway, why not go out with a smile? there’s a lot of others on the planet in way worse situations than either of us. you can’t try to figure out how to live in the moment. you just do it. let go. if you haven’t watched the movie “fight club” i would suggest watching it. it’s kind of a dark and twisted take on it, and a total guy movie, but it expresses a lot of the ideas we have been discussing about the problems with the consumerist and image driven society we live in. the bottom line is you gotta be you. a lot of people won’t like that, mainly because they are striving to be something “normal” and trying to project an image of something they are not. accept yourself and the acceptance of others doesn’t matter. we are all imperfect. everybody sucks. but at the same time we are the most amazing creatures to ever walk the planet. when you are at peace with yourself, the right people will gravitate toward you. don’t waste your time chasing after those that won’t accept you for you. seeking validation from anyone other than yourself is a really good way to make yourself feel bad about yourself. i really didn’t mean to ramble on about it like this, but it’s been on my mind a lot recently. fake people get found out. real people don’t because they tell you up front. better to be an honest asshole than a polite liar. guaranteed the asshole is a whole lot happier.

AR: Very, very true. I think I have been looking for happiness and creating it through short-term solutions. You are definitely right that it is the mindset. Lately,I’ve been trying to care less about others and just focus on me and those are the best days that I have. Sometimes when I get sucked into to getting validation from others, I almost expect a response from them. And if it doesn’t come, I feel bad about myself. So, I need to move past this. And I do think that you receive what you put out into the world. We can make anything happen if we want, we have the choice to turn adversity into opportunity..if you think about it that we. If we go around in our daily lives with an optimistic attitude, what can really go wrong? I also think that the idea that happiness comes from within is very important. Today, it seems like happiness is tied to so many other things. When in reality, it isn’t. Maybe that is also why social media is a problem. We never feel like we are alone as long as we are scrolling through instagrams, newsfeeds, tweets, etc. Yet, we are just ignoring ourselves almost and focusing way too much time on other people. That time should be spent on ourselves.

And I enjoyed the rambling! Very insightful and helpful.

I find it kind of odd that this has been one of the most in depth and meaningful conversations I’ve had in a while and neither of us knows a thing about each other. I suppose it shows the flip side of it where online anonymity can lead to honesty. I guess sometimes it’s easier to be honest with a total stranger than people you actually know sometimes. Perhaps it’s because there’s less of a fear of judgement from some anonymous online entity. We don’t know each other’s names, what we look like, what we’re into, and so forth. I almost want to introduce myself, but am a little concerned that it might screw up the conversation by giving basis for judgement. Then again, I think it would be interesting to find out who I’ve been having such a wonderful conversation with.

AR: Yes, it definitely is ironic. It’s weird that we can be real if it isn’t face to face. But I have been working on being genuine IRL and I actually am seeing a difference. I feel more like me than I have in a long time if that makes sense.

It totally makes sense. I spent a lot of time trying to be what other people wanted me to be and it just made me miserable. When I let go and just started being me I was a lot happier. Some people didn’t like it, but it didn’t matter. They were usually the ones trying to change me in the first place and you don’t need people like that in your life. Nobody’s perfect and you can’t force someone to be what they’re not. Sometimes it’s hard not to try and change for someone, especially a pretty face. Sometimes being fake is unavoidable. Not many people are brave enough to tell their bosses or coworkers what they really think about them, but in the end, you’re the one that has to live with your thoughts, feelings, and actions. So what if someone doesn’t like the fact that you eat meat, they don’t have to. Think skydiving is insane and a waste of time and money? There’s a lot of people who enjoy it. Who cares if I curse? You don’t have to listen. As long as you’re not physically damaging a person or property I generally don’t care what anyone does. I find it nice to have people that are different in order to get a better understanding of life through experiences they may have had that I would never dream of attempting.

[an-artificial-reality]

Kevin A.

social media is a trip. lol ive always saw it as a tool to show off but not just for anyone because when someone posts something there is usually a group or a specific person that no matter who or how many people see it and think, the only thing that really matters is who we wanna tell who we wanna show it to or show off to.

AR: Right! I have such a problem. I feel like people (and myself included) are missing experiences because we are glued to our phones and obsessed with people knowing what we are doing, when we are doing it. Do you think people would even use social media if they didn't really have that many followers / friends? 

It reminds me I this vine of people be like at parties now and everyone's just on their phones snapchatting or instagramming or something because we want people to know that we are "fun" even if we already are we wanna show off too

AR: So.. basically people are neglecting true relationships to keep up with people that they barely know just to come off as cool on their timelines and instagram feeds and snapchat stories. weird. 

Yup lol. It makes kinda sense tho in a way.

Like a lot of people we were friends with in school were because we see them everyday and once out of school you never really talk or know anything about them.

But now by following and seeing them post, gives that same type of feeling of being "friends" but distant because we all wanna know what that person you used to know is doing.

Get me?

AR: I do get you. People think they have these hundreds of relationships, but they don't. Probably 3/4 of their friends and followers have zero impact on their lives. And we're neglecting the tangible relationships we have right in front of us.

Yea and the only time we really remember them is when Facebook reminds us it's their birthday. To an extent, we gotta remember to fuck the technology and live in the now and stop caring about showing off to other people.Like I wanna grind not to show off but to disappear and enjoy my life.!!

[an-artificial-reality]

Felipe C.

The persona and image others take on and the after effects it has on those around them. Sounds like it could make a great documentary. Good to know someone has a mind to think like you. Keep going with it. Nice talking with you.

AR: Do you think you have a persona online or in real life? And do they add up or not? I think I might be guilty of this myself at times.

I think that we are always projecting into our own future. The mind thinks in symbolism. As we think, we also are. But, most are delusional, so what we think we are, we could never truly be, because we are in a constant state of becoming; I feel image is a transformation and a work in progress. Which would explain all the extreme make-overs and plastic surgery, eventually beauty can turn into a beast also, so best thing a person can do for their persona is not follow destructive trends, to live naturally and to age with grace. 

Very true. We almost want to reach immortality. We yearn to document everything we do and we are able to keep reliving the past. It is such a strange concept. 

[an-artificial-reality]

Round Polygon

Ah, reminds me of Shakespeare's quote... "All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts..."  I wouldn't blame it on social media per se.  The way we carry and show our personas has just adapted to a new digital medium. Everyone still wears masks and roles when they do their jobs (teachers, parents, lovers, cops, etc). Some of us choose to linger in the drama and some of us step out of it and choose not to play the game. If you're checking social media several times a day, it's time for you to start a new hobby lol. :)  If you want raw, go for the actual experience. Pictures may be worth a thousand words but being present in the moment is indescribable.

AR: You just made my day. I do think that my question was worded shallowly, but I think there actually is a lot to be discussed right? I'm not sure. There's just too much going on in my head that it is hard to separate sometimes. And I know, it is an addiction. I think that I am obsessed with the idea of certain people seeing how my life is going. Likes are almost validation for myself. And I always check to see if that one person has seen my snapchat, or liked my picture. It is nauseating. 

It's just a sign of the times. Things change. It's probably the current social standards that your generation has adopted for itself. News and information are so much more readily available and everyone wants their instant few seconds of recognition. Like you said... validation. Maybe it's more prevalent among teens because they're not around their parents so much so they need to reach out and get it from others.  When you reach a certain stage though, you may realize things shouldn't be so narcistic or don't have to give a shit because no matter what others think, it's brief and life goes on anyway with or without us.

Are you looking for a way to wean yourself out of it? There are lots of guides and tips online to "reboot" yourself, but to be honest your heart has to be in it and you need to actually flip that switch for it to be in the "off" position. Because trying not to think about something when it's already on your mind doesn't really help much. How confident and accepting are you of yourself? Of criticism of you? How about insecurities?  I'd suggest starting there. :)

AR: True. People need validation from people that aren't around them...isn't that weird? Is it because people have lower self-esteems? Or maybe people feel lonely in their everyday lives. And yes! I am looking to care less and stop spending so much time on social media. Because who cares? I'm becoming more confident and accepting of myself. Being in college is difficult at times. I don't know what I want to do, I don't know who I want to be, and I also feel like I am losing who I am at times. And I feel like part of it is because of social media. I am trying to keep up with everyone else and show the world that I am functioning, happy, and successful. Which I guess I am for the most part but I also am struggling. 

It makes sense if they're lonely, emotionally needy, or just need attention. Low self esteem is part of it too. They don't have classes or anything equivalent in school to prepare us for all that. You don't see confident or busy people get caught up in that stuff.

Get busy, find a hobby, change your perspective. :D  You're still young. I didn't find self acceptance until I was about 27 or 28.  College is extremely difficult in these times. Not sure how some students manage living on their own without support. That's crazy tough. The amount of debt once you graduate and then unable to find a job... depressing as hell.  What are you studying right now? What type of career did you have in mind? If your goal is clear and you're focused, social media should just be a distraction. TGIF. Stay sane. :)

[an-artificial-reality]

Tommy G.

I couldn't agree more, people's social networking sites seem to be a façade. Only the best image, with the best filter, and the most well thought out phrases at that specific point in time. Far from their normal everyday lives. It's insane to see a wide variety of generations glued and absorbed into their phones completely unaware of what's happening around them. For example I want to get a haircut Jesse other day when I walked in it was extremely busy. Every single waiting chair was line with people and every single person at their head buried in their phone. It's mind-bottling lol Tell me your thoughts

AR: I definitely agree and even find myself guilty of this. Do you think there is a small disconnect though, with the facade? Or is it just people trying to put their best foot forward? With a lot of people, I think they create a certain brand / persona to put online. And it is starting to affect their real-life personalities. It's strange. It's like people do things just to be able to publicize it. I wonder if social media didn't exist, would people be less motivated to do certain things? Sometimes I think that. And yes, people are very unaware these days. I'm scared. Is this a trend? Or will people always be doing this now on as technology is being utilized by younger and younger generations?

Ya I think people have become totally disconnected. I think so phones have definitely hindered people social skills. Lots of people seam totally unaware of what's going on around them. I don't think the social media sites are bad things necessarily, I just think there needs to be moderation.As for the future generations I think a trend has deafly been set. With technology growing at an immense rate I don't see it slowing down any. That being said I think we should learn to embrace it and then develop ways to keep it casual.   I'm not saying everybody is completely absorbed but there certainly are people like this. I think you know exactly who I'm talking about. I'm sure you can think of a couple people off hand right now.

[an-artificial-reality]

Nick L.

I think social media was one of nails in the coffin for how humans interact with each other in the modern age. For example: my SIM card was recently corrupted. At first it wasn't great because I could no longer txt, use Internet or any apps ( such as spotify which broke my heart cause I could no longer cruise and listen to tunes /sadface) After a few days I noticed I kept looking at my phone, checking my txts ( of which there were none haha) on instinct. How strange i instinctually grab for my phone. Then I started noticing that was all everyone was doing! Face deep in their phone! 21st century coversations indeed! I felt cut off from the world without my phone until I realized that by having my phone I was cut off of the world! But people are just so plugged in now it's crazy. I also agree with what you say about how people only put forth what's best and how no ones real. 

[an-artificial-reality]

Ryeen I.

I'm pretty interested in shaping personal image as well, not just in regards to social media, but also in "real life." I'm not exactly a sociopath, but I am a bit more fluid with my morals ad personality, so I've been running some social experiments and presenting different parts of me to the world around me. They've been eating it up and now I get the things I want!

[an-artificial-reality]

A G

Social media did me more harm than good, so I deleted my accounts over a year ago and never looked back. It was one of the best things I ever did. There will come a time in everyone's life when they'll regret how much of their life they shared so openly with people who meant so little. Social media has aided in the decay of human decency and intimacy. Forming REAL bonds with the people around us has become a dying art form. Everyone wants to feel what it's like to be on that podium of celebrity, so they try to appeal to the masses with their fake personas. They've sold out. Most haven't come to this realization yet, but society will catch up in due time.

AR: I need that strength... to delete my things. It's just nice to share and see what people are doing. But you are so right, they are hardly a connection. I don't talk to over 3/4ths of these people. They do not affect my life at all. Yet, I feel gratification from them by receiving a like or a comment.  People definitely are missing moments that are happening right in front of them because they are so consumed by the screen. Hopefully we'll all figure it out. I guess you did. Do you feel and act differently do you think now that you don't have social media. Nothing to share, nothing to receive? 

You don't necessarily need to delete anything. I am somewhat of an extreme case. I'm sure there is a happy medium somewhere in the middle. I think social media can be beneficial if it's used to enhance your real life relationships. Like for staying in touch with distant family/friends for instance. For me it exploded into more than that and I didn't know any other way than to figuratively swipe all the junk off my table in one fell swoop. That was my way of rebooting my life, and it worked for me. There was a short detox period, but I almost instantly realized how much of my *real* life relationships had been neglected. 

I don't feel disconnected or out of touch. It's the opposite actually. I have direct, organic, meaningful relationships with people. They text, email or call me if they need anything. They understand that whatever they tell me will get processed and that I hold their trust in me as the most important aspect of our relationship. I don't know how to describe it in words, but it takes me back to when I was a kid and time with our friends was such a euphoric escape. I never got that feeling from social media. I have built stronger bonds with the people in my life. There might not be AS MANY people, but I really don't miss that.

I think it probably did change me a little bit. Not my personality, but my behavior. It made me want to document certain moments of my life more. It took me out of a moment and put me in more of a spectator position. These days if an old lady got mugged I think society's first reaction would be to pull out their cellphones rather than running to help her. I don't feel the pressure to record special moments of my life anymore, I just put all my focus on experiencing it instead. I do photography as a hobby though, so I still do that on my own time. I have also seen the opposite though. I've seen people whose personality changed because they were addicted to social media. They walked around as if their 5000 facebook friends were actually there watching what they'd do next. Just yesterday I was having lunch with a friend of mine, and in the middle of her meal she pulls out her phone and records a vine of me and her and our waitress. She's a sweet, quiet person in real life but she built this persona of a wild, outgoing girl. It was funny how loud and animated she became when her camera was out, to the point other diners were wondering if she was okay. It would be fine if that's who she really was, but she was catering to the thousands of people she doesn't know ahead of the guy sitting right in front of her that knew her better than any of them. I see that kind of thing a lot. That's when you know it's an addiction. 

Anyway that's my rant. So why are you asking these questions about social media? Are you going through something in your own life?

AR: I feel this so much. I'm asking these questions because i'm interested in the subject. Personally, I struggle with living in the moment at times. I have a hard time being who I want to be as other people influence me a lot, at times. I'm starting to truly find myself and build myself into the person I want to be. And I just find it intriguing how I let my presence online dictate what I do in real life. I attend art school, so I thought why not create a project regarding these ideas. So I'm researching in a way and gaining insight into the topic. 

Don't worry, we are all works in progress. Otherwise life would be boring as hell. I love getting to know the side of people that they think is weird. That's what makes us all unique and memorable. I place a high value on trust, and for that reason it's hard for me to make myself vulnerable. I have trust issues. But that's also what makes me a great listener, because people know they can tell me anything and I won't break that trust if my life depended on it.

[an-artificial-reality]

Leo S.

social media has destroyed the full concept of love. look at dating sites, it's an escort service now?at least someone sees the madness other than me, lol

AR: Do you think it has destroyed other relationships and experiences as well?

it's destroyed love and romance. my plan is to move out of LA, that’s my only hope for love and a good wife.

[an-artificial-reality]

Patrick D.

I definitely believe there are 2 worlds, the physical one and the online one. I believe this because I am not the person I am online that I am in the real world. 

Online, I like to think that I come off as this strong confident person that is okay with being alone for the last 12 years, that I am not prone to near crippling bouts of depression that leave me sitting in my room staring at the clock waiting for one day to finish so I can start getting through the next one. Online, I work really hard to be the guy who makes the "too soon" jokes because I don't want the real world to know that things like the death of Paul Walker almost brought me to tears and I don't even really like him as an actor. Online, I can talk to anyone about anything and not experience the fear that grips me when I think about trying to talk to a strangers especially a strange female whom I find attractive. 

I find when I do try to show more of my real life persona online, I don't get Facebook likes or Reddit upvotes so they don't work to stroke my ego as much as getting a bunch of likes for making some joke at the expense of someone's "feelings". 

Lately, I have found myself lying to my friends about what I do when they are not around so my real life seems more in line with my online persona. Like saying that I had a date on a Friday night that I stayed home alone, so my friends don't see that I am way more vulnerable than I pretend to be.

I don't know why I am sharing this with you. Maybe it is because you asked. Maybe it is because I know that no matter what I do, some random 19 year old woman online whose name I do not know isn't going to think any more or less of me. 

AR: See, I feel the same way too sometimes. I feel like I have been going through a constant identity / existential crisis while in college. And I feel like social media has a lot to do with it. Everyone seems so happy, so put together while I am just struggling. Yet, I put my best face forward and instagram and facebook post. Whatever. And you're right, the likes I get almost validate my existence, which is a bit frightening. Also, it makes me sad that I'm in a way missing experiences right in front of my because I'm too busy being glued to my phone or worrying about telling people what I'm doing and when I'm doing it. I do not like it. But, thank you so much for opening up. I would definitely like to hear more of your thoughts!

I think a large part of the problem with social media and the way it tends to make people like us feel is that everyone else tends to put their best face forward as well. So we see only the good aspects of the lives of others. We subconsciously think that everyone else's life is perfect because they are posting their "perfect" vacations or their "perfect" children or whatever and we don't ever see the bad things going on in the lives of others on social media. So we see all these perfect things in the lives of others while we only tend to see the shittier parts of our lives and we can't help but wonder what we are doing wrong or that in some way we aren't as good as the people we follow on social media. The other thing you said that was spot on was about being glued to your phone and missing out on experiences right in front of you. A friend of mine sent me a comic, and i wish I could find it again to share with you, that stated simply, "You looking at your phone anywhere nice this weekend." I think social media and the rise of the smartphone has put most people in a mindset where we aren't looking at what is going on around us and constantly need "likes" to valid what we are doing. We find it hard to find pleasure in what we are doing because someone hasn't validated it as cool or good by clicking "like". We find ourselves not connected to the people who are around us because we are searching for validation from folks online. One thing I have found that works for me is to help alleviate some of the anxiety that is caused by social media is to go somewhere outside of the range of the Internet and my smart phone. For example, I might get together with a group of friends and go hiking or camping way up in the Angeles National Forest where I can't get a signal on my phone. Finding myself cut off from the Internet and social media allows me to focus on the group I am with and the task at hand without worrying about getting likes. I don't know if that will work for you, but it is worth a shot. Right now, another thing I am trying to do, by using dating sites and services like craigslist, is to find someone I want to be with. I don't think it will entirely alleviate my anxiety from social media, but I can't help but think that, with the right person, I will no longer worry about what someone a millions miles away on the Internet might think because I will genuinely care about what the person right in front of me thinks. I am not normally this bold in real life, but since we are online, I can be. Would you like to join me for dinner sometime this week? Maybe together, we can find a way to pass an hour or two without worrying about what people online think. At the very least we can continue this conversation in the real world and we can both see how different we are in the meat world compared to the online one.

[an-artificial-reality]

Ace

I totally agree with you, people definitely put up a different persona on social media. Constantly updating statuses or posting pictures to show how much fun they're having. I mean, I do it too, but it's a trend that has only been made possible by the advent of the internet. 

I feel like people don't live in the moment anymore like people who lived before the internet did. Whenever I'm out with friends, or at a party for example, people won't even say anything of substance, but will just take pictures and stay on their phones.

Ahh I could rant for so long lol

AR: Ah, I am guilty as well. What have I become... But, you are right. I think it is the time we live in, which is so so sad. People are dedicating experiences and things just to post online to show people. When in reality, it is completely false potentially. Also, we actually missing out on real life experiences because we're too caught up with life behind the screen? I'm not sure if it's that extreme.. but there's a high chance hahah.  Like imagine if your instagram/facebook had no followers or friends. Would people care at all about what they were posting? Would people even take pictures...? 

Haha and yea that's a really good point! If no one had followers then you wouldn't even care. There wouldn't be a reason to have social media lol. Imagine all the time you've spent on social media, the countless hours that could have been spent doing something productive.

[an-artificial-reality]

Anthony M

We have identical personalities, is that good or bad I don’t know. but I vent all the time no one listens. does that make crazy if I talk out loud? but people & women are too stuck up and too full of themselves in this new era im not liking it. im having a terrible time integrating into society. thanks to the world for being so messed up thats why I like sci fi. my imagination is my savor.

AR: What is it that makes you crazy? The social media thing? And Sci Fi is great. As all TV, movies, books, etc. It definitely is an escape. 

Yes everything that trends it gets annoying to me. im into the unknown world where people try to hid things to the world, lol but I think the thing that bothers me the most is when i see people getting ignored including myself at times. like I was at the book store reading about some secret stuff  .. the I thing I like about me the most is knowing and having a gut feeling about cool and interesting things most people dont notice.