you already know that’s the case. of course people will edit the reality of who they are online. i myself have several distinct personalities online. of course most people also have different personalities in real life as well. i’m not sure if anyone is 100% real on any platform. who wouldn’t want to “put their best foot forward” so to speak. the internet is a separate reality. i try to be real in person. i don’t like to change who i am depending on the situation, but on the net you can be whoever and whatever you want.
AR: I do agree with you. I was just wondering if this was the general consensus. Some people are very raw and real all the time, wherever they go. Of course people are going to put their best foot forward, but do people take this a step further? That’s what I’m trying to get at. Like are people dedicating experiences and things just to post online to show people. When in reality, it is completely false? Also, are people missing out on real life experiences because they’re too caught up with their life behind the screen. Just food for thought you know?
of course. i know several people who have this image built up on facebook and whatnot that is totally opposite of what they are actually like and what they are actually doing. even to the point of having their place of residence falsly listed. really it’s nothing different than what a lot of entertainers do. eminem and marilyn manson portray a certain image on stage, but when interviewed seem like completely different, almost normal, individuals. i also know several people that get caught up in their “online life”. i myself fall into that trap on occasion, mostly due to the fact that most of the really cool friends ive made along the way have found their way out of this little town. conversely, i have and will be experiencing a lot of really cool real life experiences because of maintaining an online connection with these individuals. i don’t know about the general consensus, but in my opinion, i have a hard time trusting and believing most people in real life. i automatically assume anything on the internet is false until proven otherwise. like if i come across a piece of information i’ve got to find at least 3 other reputable sites backing it up before i accept it. i’d go to the library for verification, if we still had one. honestly, this conversation has been one of the realest i’ve had on the internet with someone i didn’t know personally, but the topic was one that requires a little bit of real. all that being said, i’m sure there are some people that try to paint an accurate picture of themselves online, but even then, you can have multiple personalities and who would ever know? the world’s a crazy place, especially with the rich online universe we have created. honestly it amazes me that we are here in the first place, much less havent eradicated ourselves from existence yet.
AR: I do agree with you again. I also fall into that trap, but recently I’ve just been trying to keep it real online. Yet, it feels like I am still posting things in hopes that other people that I care about but no longer talk to will see it and see that I am doing great even though they are not in my life. Sounds weird, but it just happens. I’m trying to figure out to just live for myself and live in the moment.
I feel like its sometimes hard for me to find happiness in what I’m doing at the time because it hasn’t been validated by someone else.
Does that make sense?
i know exactly what you mean. honestly its even harder to be honest online because you make the decision what to put out there. i think that’s become one of the biggest problems in modern society. everyone is seeking validation from others. the truth is, and i’m just learning this myself, that the only person you need validation from is yourself. the biggest problem with seeking outside validation comes when someone doesn’t agree or approve. this makes you feel bad about yourself when, in reality, their opinion shouldn’t matter. happiness isn’t something you can find. i’ve been making that mistake looking for happiness in a relationship, activity, material thing, or something outside of myself. the truth about happiness is that it’s a state of mind. i’ve been going through one of the toughest times of my life. my car breaks down, i may very well be homeless in a few days, i don’t have a lot of money, but for some reason i’ve been pretty happy and content. with all the programming we are exposed to telling us the things we need to be happy and complete it can be hard to get your head around, but there are only two things that are required for a living human: breathing and dying. if you’re going to die anyway, why not go out with a smile? there’s a lot of others on the planet in way worse situations than either of us. you can’t try to figure out how to live in the moment. you just do it. let go. if you haven’t watched the movie “fight club” i would suggest watching it. it’s kind of a dark and twisted take on it, and a total guy movie, but it expresses a lot of the ideas we have been discussing about the problems with the consumerist and image driven society we live in. the bottom line is you gotta be you. a lot of people won’t like that, mainly because they are striving to be something “normal” and trying to project an image of something they are not. accept yourself and the acceptance of others doesn’t matter. we are all imperfect. everybody sucks. but at the same time we are the most amazing creatures to ever walk the planet. when you are at peace with yourself, the right people will gravitate toward you. don’t waste your time chasing after those that won’t accept you for you. seeking validation from anyone other than yourself is a really good way to make yourself feel bad about yourself. i really didn’t mean to ramble on about it like this, but it’s been on my mind a lot recently. fake people get found out. real people don’t because they tell you up front. better to be an honest asshole than a polite liar. guaranteed the asshole is a whole lot happier.
AR: Very, very true. I think I have been looking for happiness and creating it through short-term solutions. You are definitely right that it is the mindset. Lately,I’ve been trying to care less about others and just focus on me and those are the best days that I have. Sometimes when I get sucked into to getting validation from others, I almost expect a response from them. And if it doesn’t come, I feel bad about myself. So, I need to move past this.
And I do think that you receive what you put out into the world. We can make anything happen if we want, we have the choice to turn adversity into opportunity..if you think about it that we. If we go around in our daily lives with an optimistic attitude, what can really go wrong?
I also think that the idea that happiness comes from within is very important. Today, it seems like happiness is tied to so many other things. When in reality, it isn’t. Maybe that is also why social media is a problem. We never feel like we are alone as long as we are scrolling through instagrams, newsfeeds, tweets, etc. Yet, we are just ignoring ourselves almost and focusing way too much time on other people. That time should be spent on ourselves.
And I enjoyed the rambling! Very insightful and helpful.
I find it kind of odd that this has been one of the most in depth and meaningful conversations I’ve had in a while and neither of us knows a thing about each other. I suppose it shows the flip side of it where online anonymity can lead to honesty. I guess sometimes it’s easier to be honest with a total stranger than people you actually know sometimes. Perhaps it’s because there’s less of a fear of judgement from some anonymous online entity. We don’t know each other’s names, what we look like, what we’re into, and so forth. I almost want to introduce myself, but am a little concerned that it might screw up the conversation by giving basis for judgement. Then again, I think it would be interesting to find out who I’ve been having such a wonderful conversation with.
AR: Yes, it definitely is ironic. It’s weird that we can be real if it isn’t face to face. But I have been working on being genuine IRL and I actually am seeing a difference. I feel more like me than I have in a long time if that makes sense.
It totally makes sense. I spent a lot of time trying to be what other people wanted me to be and it just made me miserable. When I let go and just started being me I was a lot happier. Some people didn’t like it, but it didn’t matter. They were usually the ones trying to change me in the first place and you don’t need people like that in your life. Nobody’s perfect and you can’t force someone to be what they’re not. Sometimes it’s hard not to try and change for someone, especially a pretty face. Sometimes being fake is unavoidable. Not many people are brave enough to tell their bosses or coworkers what they really think about them, but in the end, you’re the one that has to live with your thoughts, feelings, and actions. So what if someone doesn’t like the fact that you eat meat, they don’t have to. Think skydiving is insane and a waste of time and money? There’s a lot of people who enjoy it. Who cares if I curse? You don’t have to listen. As long as you’re not physically damaging a person or property I generally don’t care what anyone does. I find it nice to have people that are different in order to get a better understanding of life through experiences they may have had that I would never dream of attempting.