A Japanese Foreigner Living in Japan
I skimmed through this article about Asians living in Japan, which got me thinking about my time in Japan as an ethnic Japanese. In essence, this is my response to it. I figure this post is appropriate since it's been approximately one year since I came back to Hawaii, so it allows me to revisit Japan even if only through text and memories.
As with Miss Low, the dream was always to go to Japan—even if for a short vacation. But with (some) studying and a most-likely well-received letter of recommendation (thanks Professor Ito!), I was able to land a MEXT scholarship in 2012 to study at Sophia University in Tokyo. For those who don't know, the Japanese government, specifically the Ministry of Education, Culture, Sports, Science, and Technology, offers scholarships to foreigners wanting to study anything related to Japanese studies in Japan. In order to receive this scholarship, most universities go through a selection process to gain a nomination and the right to apply for the scholarship, which include a written test and oral interview in Japanese. I had applied in 2011, but I'm pretty sure the Japanese government knew I wasn't up to it just yet and had some growing up to do—then I think they felt bad for me since I applied twice in a row so they finally gave it to me.
When I had arrived at Narita in September, the first week or so was a surreal experience. I couldn't believe I was allowed to live out my dream, with a full-ride scholarship, for a year in the city I terribly wanted to go. I was fascinated by everything, from the trains to the vending machines. Even the people were rather interesting, especially since I lived in an international dorm.
But everything didn't start out as honky-dory as I thought—even on the airplane ride there. I didn't think I looked Japanese enough, but somehow I received the Japanese version of their customs form, ended up being too embarrassed to ask for the English version, and filled it out to the best of my ability. When I had to pass customs after receiving my bags, which was only after standing in the wrong line for a while before I was told to go to the long-term line, the TSA agent there asked pretty roughly if I understood Japanese (enough to fill out the form). I said I understood a bit, then proceeded to ask if I had anything they banned, to which I vehemently denied. He gave me a look up and down, then let me through. Not the most auspicious start.
Although I was able to get to the train station nearest my dorm, I couldn't find it until a nice Japanese lady walking her mini-dog led me to an older couple who walked me all the way to the dorm—I took over an hour when it was supposed to be a half-hour walk, give or take a few minutes with my two pieces of luggage and two carry-ons. After a bad start at the airport, things weren't looking so bright for my future.
This theme of "being Japanese, but not Japanese enough" continued well into my year there, all the way until I actually gained the confidence to speak whenever I wanted to, which was maybe January, thanks to Waseda Bowling Club's inability to speak English. My family noticed I had lost a lot of weight since arrival, mostly due to my laziness for cooking and lack of heavy appetite after a while, so I guess you could say I was slowly looking more and more like a native Japanese. Until January, this didn't help my situation when I would be spoken to in Japanese and given strange looks when I didn't respond or gave the wrong answer (especially if the question was on the simpler side). I'm also very certain that although my Japanese was near-native fluency, I still didn't get pitch accents down, so some words/phrases would sound strange to a native, in which they did the Japanese head tilt after leaving.
It didn't stop at language, either. I had a slight grasp of Japanese culture beforehand since local culture in Hawaii takes a lot of its major concepts and traditions from the Japanese, but it also deviates from the original. Anecdotes from others helped me in certain areas, but there were gaps which led to some difficult situations. Those could have gone a lot worse had I not explained I'm from Hawaii, in which most forgave me.
An interesting note I should point out is most Japanese view Hawaii as different from America, in probably the same way most other countries and even some Americans do as well. America is seen more as the mainland, while Hawaii is just Hawaii—reception was a lot warmer when I said "Hawaii" rather than "America."
Interestingly, this internal (and somewhat external) cultural mix-up affected both the "American/Hawaiian me" and the "Japanese me." I felt myself wanting to become more and more Japanese, but at the same time there are parts of me that can't be expressed fully in Japanese, such as my sense of humor or more liberal thoughts towards work and life. This caused some trouble outside of my bubble—some Japanese still thought I was foreign, while foreigners thought I was Japanese.
The best example: I was eating at a Hawaiian restaurant with a Japanese person who didn't speak very much English, so I had to speak Japanese most of the time. When it came time to order, I noticed the waiter was local so I spoke in clear English. Not only did that take him by surprise, but when I thanked the (local) chef for the food (since it was a tiny restaurant), he remarked that "my English was really good."
Overall, I had an excellent experience without too many traumatizing stories, none of which culturally-related. I don't know if I was lucky that the people I was able to meet were just that open-minded or interested in foreign culture, or if my Japanese ability helped, or if I just don't have a clear memory of everything. I think I can say I assimilated well, and even my professors saw an improvement in my ability, too.
Miss Low makes great points in her article as a non-Japanese Asian, but we can delve deeper into the topic and include ethnic Japanese who may have had an interesting time dealing with identity in Japan. Living as a non-Japanese Asian fluent in Japanese and an ethnic Japanese not fluent in Japanese could be the next topics taken up after reading Miss Low's and my (not-as-good) article. With many different perspectives tackling a historically isolationist culture, it would be interesting to see if there is any common ground or huge discrepancies between our viewpoints.
