7:00 PM Monday evening. Store is pretty dead, I’m training a new-ish girl on deep cleans, so while I’m coaching her through the process for getting hamster pee out of that particular crevice, I notice a man walk towards the fish. I turn to my trainee and say “Get one of the toothbrushes from the filter room if you can’t get into the corner. Just make sure you throw it out since the cleaner you’re using is pretty caustic.” I walk over and I see him looking at koi.
Alarm Bells are going off in my head because it’s, you know, 19 degrees outside, and I know there’s no way this fish is going to a pond.
“Hi, do you have any questions?
“Not just yet, I need to call my boyfriend, he just sent me down here and said ‘Get an orange-y one.’”
“Okay, let me know when you’re ready to go and I’ll help you out.”
10-15 minutes go by, he’s chatting with his boyfriend on the phone, he’s telling him all the different types and colors and saying “Well, he’s about the same size, maybe a little smaller.”
I’m so prepared to whip out “KOI NEED 75-100 GALLONS PER FISH AND YOU CAN’T KEEP THEM IN A FISHTANK AND IF YOU HAVE ONE IN A FISHTANK PLEASE TAKE IT TO (LFS) AND THEY’LL REHOME IT AND GIVE YOU STORE CREDIT PLEASE AND THANK YOU” because that’s all I know.
“Ma’am, I have a question.”
“Sure, what can I help you with?”
“What’s the difference between the Butterfly Koi and the Assorted Koi?”
I explain to him the difference in the fins and point out the two we have in the tank.
“Well, he said ‘orange-y’ and I really like that guy. I’ll just take him, and pay my boyfriend back the extra $4.”
“Okay, so you’re aware, koi get very large and are actually pond fish. They’ll die quickly if you’re keeping them in a small tank. They need about 100 gallons a piece. Especially when they start growing.”
“Oh we have 500 gallons. And we only have one other koi.”
“Oh yeah. I should have mentioned that first.”
This awesome guy and his boyfriend are both Japanese. When they bought their house and moved in together, they wanted an awesome fish tank for the finished basement man-cave. They were both drawn to koi and fancy goldfish and wanted to do something to pay homage to their heritage and traditions. Then they did their research. Initially they were heartbroken. Looking at how messy koi were and how big they got, they thought they’d have to move on to something else. But they were determined, so they figured out what they had to do. They don’t have much of a yard so a pond was unfortunately out of the question, but the guy’s older brother is a carpenter and a commercial welder. He built them an oak and steel stand and sump housing for the huge tank. And they now have this amazing behemoth of a tank in their man-cave and they’re going to have 3 koi total. I was informed that 4 is an unlucky number and they knew that the lucky number 8 would be too many, they didn’t even want to risk overloading with 5.
And you thought this was going to be a horror story.
Godspeed, lucky koi. You’re going to some kickass parents.
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turnnoffyourmind
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