At Fault
Summary: The Dread Wolf guides me... I must find a way to shake his influence...
Eden Lavellan’s temper often got the better of them, harsh words rolling off their tongue entirely too easily. They always regretted it immediately after, seeing how their words hurt others. The nasty things they would say just spilled out of them, poisoning the people they loved. The rage that festered inside Eden scared them. They found it hard to control the inferno once it started burning.
While writing this I was listening to: Eyes on Fire - Blue Foundation
Hello my friends! Here is a fic I’ve written giving my archer Eden Lavellan (they/them) some angsty backstory. They’re a Solas romancer and I’ve got a lot of angst and hurt in store for them.
Word count: 1.9K
Tags: angst, hurt/no comfort, mourning, grief, death, sibling death
Find me on Ao3 here
“Fenedhis, Maggie!” Eden shouted, letting out a loud huff. “You always do this. I’m gone for a few days and you’ve let everything go to shit,”
“Creators, Eden... I just forgot to bring your sword inside, I didn’t know it was going to rain,” Maggie said quietly, eyes trained on the ground. In their hands Eden held a sword they had been working on, the leather on the hilt discolored and molding from being rained on, rust forming on the blade. They sighed, looking up at their sister.
“I have worked on this sword for weeks. It’s ruined now,” they said, their voice growing quiet. Maggie shifted uncomfortably, she knew that once Eden grew quiet like this, they were really angry.
“I know, Eden. I know. I- I’m sorry,” she said, looking back up at the archer before her. Eden felt themselves grow hot, a burning in their chest as they looked down at their creation, ruined from the rain.
“I should know better by now. It’s my mistake for trusting you wouldn’t fuck something up,” Eden spat, shaking their head at the mage. They took a deep breath, immediately regretting the words as soon as they fell from their lips. “Maggie, I-”
“That sharp tongue of yours will be the reason Elgaris leaves you,” Maggie responded, snatching her staff which had been leaning against the twin’s tent. Eden huffed, hands resting on their hips.
“Come on, Maggie,” Eden said, more softly now.
“Don’t. Just leave me alone for a while, Eden,” Maggie said dejectedly, shaking her head as she turned on her heel, heading towards the forest.
“Shit,” Eden muttered, pinching the bridge of their nose.
Eden’s temper often got the better of them, harsh words rolling off their tongue entirely too easily. They always regretted it immediately after, seeing how their words hurt others. The nasty things they would say just spilled out of them, poisoning the people they loved. The rage that festered inside Eden scared them. They found it hard to control the inferno once it started burning.
“What was that about?”
Eden turned to see their partner, Elgaris, approaching them from behind, a puzzled expression on his face. Elgaris was a warrior for Clan Lavellan, found as an infant by Keeper Istimaethoriel among some elven ruins. They had grown up together, childhood friends turned something more. Eden cared for Elgaris a great deal. He was strong, a talented warrior, and a good friend. He helped take care of Eden and Maggie after their mother had disappeared, always ensuring they had everything they needed. Eden admired his strength and tenacity, and his ability to put up with their temper.
“Maggie is angry with me. Again,” Eden said, messing with the sword still in their hands.
“What did you say to her?” Elgaris asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Why would you assume it was my fault?” Eden asked, feeling the anger burn in their chest once again. Elgaris raised an eyebrow at them knowingly.
“It doesn’t matter what I said. I’ve upset her,” Eden said, leaning the now ruined sword against their tent.
“What’s that?” Elgaris asked, looking over to the sword. It was a beautiful weapon, crafted with Dalish design. The blade was engraved with intricate patterns, the leather around the hilt a dark blue, though most of it was discolored now from the rain.
“It was a gift. I was making it for you,” Eden said, crossing their arms. Elgaris took a step closer, leaning down to inspect the weapon. The patterns engraved in the hilt were vines, hand engraved into the steel. Along the side read: ‘Dareth shiral, ma vhenan,’
Safe journey, my heart.
“It’s… it’s beautiful, Eden,” Elgaris said, his expression growing somber.
“Then why do you look sad?” Eden asked, cocking their head to the side. Elgaris froze for a moment, clearly thinking about something.
“Don’t worry about it, vhenan,” he said, pressing a kiss to their cheek. Eden nodded, letting out a huff.
“Maybe I should go after Maggie. I owe her an apology, if nothing else,” the archer said, reaching for their bow and quiver. Elgaris nodded, his eyes still trained on the sword Eden had made.
“Dareth shiral,” Elgaris replied, turning away from Eden. Eden could feel in the pit of their stomach that something was wrong, Elgaris wasn’t usually this... quiet. Eden steeled themselves, they couldn’t focus on that right now, though. Eden slung their quiver over their back, heading out towards the forest.
“Ar tu na'lin emma mi!” Eden hissed, the string of their bow pulled taut as they aimed an arrow at the man approaching them. Their hand was steady, ready to let the arrow fly at this perceived threat.
“Eden, it’s me!” he said, palms raised in defense. Eden narrowed their gaze, their body tense, adrenaline rushing through them. That voice was familiar, why did they know that voice? Eden concentrated on the face before them, struggling to recognize any features. A man. An elven man. Slowly, he became more recognizable. Dark brown hair tied back in a bun, a sword slung over his back. His vallaslin was dark blue, the mark of Mythal. Eden had gotten their own vallaslin the same day, theirs representative of Ghilan'nain.
After a moment, Eden’s eyes grew wide, realizing the man before them was their lover, not an enemy.
“Elgaris,” they breathed, lowering the arrow. “Ir abelas, I-” Eden began, feeling a well of emotions bubbling to the surface as the adrenaline began to wear off. Had Elgaris taken one more step, Eden would have killed him. Just as they had killed the men now lying at their feet. The men that had slaughtered their sister right before their eyes.
“Eden, what happened?” Elgaris asked, his voice shaking as he looked around at the carnage before him. Several bodies lay scattered around Eden, all but one riddled with arrows. As he looked closer at the body before Eden, his breath hitched. Red, shoulder length hair, long pointed ears, just like Eden’s. He recognized the mage's staff immediately. Redwood with intricate carvings, a wolf's head at the top. He had made that staff.
“I found Maggie,” Eden whispered, dropping to their knees. They rolled over the body before them, revealing to Elgaris that it was indeed Magdalene, Eden’s twin sister. Elgaris gasped, his knees weakening as he looked at her, lying in the dirt, a gash across her throat.
A tear streamed down Eden’s cheek as they looked down at their sister, her eyes still open, the blood on her neck now dark and dry. Eden’s hands were shaking as they held Maggie, an ache in their chest. They gently closed their sister’s eyes, letting out a sob as they cradled her body.
“This is your fault. You know that, right?” Elgaris said after a moment, watching Eden stroke Maggie’s cheek. Eden froze, their gaze slowly traveling up to meet the other elf’s, the shock on his face replaced with anger.
“What did you say?” Eden hissed, slowly moving to stand. Elgaris’ eyes grew wide, dropping his gaze to the ground. Eden cracked their neck to the side, feeling that all too familiar burning in their chest, breathing growing more ragged. They took a step towards the warrior, their jaw clenched. Elgaris took a step back, clearing his throat as he eyed Eden’s fists, now balled up at their side.
“She wouldn’t have come here if it wasn’t for you,” he spat, reaching for the sword slung over his back. He held it out in front of him, his grip on the hilt shaky as Eden slowly approached him. The archer’s knuckles were white from digging their nails into their palms, the muscles in their forearms flexed tight. The anger within felt white hot and blinding, consuming them like a forest fire.
Elgaris scrambled backwards as Eden reached him, gripping on to his sword. Eden reached out for the sword’s guards, wrenching it from the man’s hands. They tossed it to the side, grabbing the front of his armor and pulling him towards them.
“Go on, seth’lin, say it again,” Eden said, lifting the man off of the ground. Despite being the same height, Eden was much stronger than Elgaris, a vice grip on his clothing. He struggled to free himself of the archer’s grasp, gasping for breath. Elgaris clawed at their hands, sputtering for air as Eden lifted him up. He could see the all consuming, seething rage in their eyes, all semblance of anything but anger gone.
“Eden, don't do this,” he squeaked out, pleading to be released from the elf’s grip. Eden took a deep breath, the urge to snap Elgaris' neck almost consuming them. They let out a breath, tossing him to the ground.
“Get out of my sight, Elgaris. Before you end up like them,” Eden hissed, gesturing to the bodies on the ground. Elgaris huffed, standing up and dusting himself off.
“You’re going to end up miserable and alone, Eden. You couldn’t even keep it together for her,” he said, watching the archer carefully. “I hope you know it was always Maggie. I loved her. You I merely tolerated,” he spat, kneeling down to pick up his sword. A sharp whistle pierced the air, an arrow flying right over the top of the warrior’s head. He looked up, fear overtaking his expression.
“You have 10 seconds to run,” Eden growled, another arrow ready to fly. Elgaris’ eyes grew wide, scrambling backwards. Eden watched him take off, running as fast as he could in the opposite direction of the archer. They turned back towards Maggie’s lifeless body, stumbling over to her. Eden knelt down next to her, placing a hand on her shoulder.
“I am so sorry, Maggie. This is all my fault,” they whispered, tears forming in their eyes. As they gazed upon the body of their sister, they felt a different kind of pain in their chest. Unlike the rage that festered deep inside, this didn’t burn. This was a gaping, chilling, all consuming kind of ache.
Eden stayed by Maggie’s body for what felt like forever. Stroking her cheek, her hair. Telling her all of the things they never had. How much they loved her, how they’d miss the way she talked in her sleep, her laugh. How they were sorry for all of the awful things they had said, for the fights they started. Things would never be the same. Now Eden had no one.
“The Dread Wolf guides you, lethallan,”
Eden looked over their shoulder, seeing Keeper Istimaethorial approaching them from behind, her staff in her hand. Eden looked down at Maggie, lying lifeless before them.
“You must stray from these ways, Eden. Your rage will consume you,” she said, lying a hand on Eden’s shoulder. Eden knew she was right. The rage that festered within would overtake them one day if they couldn't calm it.
“This is my fault,” Eden whispered, closing their eyes. The Keeper shushed Eden, kneeling down beside them.
“Yes, it is. And now you must endure,” Keeper Istimaethoriel replied, patting Eden’s shoulder. The mage stroked Eden's cheek, standing and turning on her heel. "I will have Elgaris and his men come and get her, she deserves a proper ceremony,"
“I suppose I must,” Eden whispered, a hand on Maggie's shoulder.
The Dread Wolf guides me... I must find a way to shake his influence...
