My trauma of being compared to her was literally triggered because of what that person said 😩
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My trauma of being compared to her was literally triggered because of what that person said 😩
I may be good but she's better
Scandal (Part 4, Final)
The Viscount's sister with an enormous dowry, beauty and unmistakable talent- you began the London season as the most desired woman in any room. But Jeon Wonwoo (a man who would rather hide in the library than dance at a ball) is beyond your comprehension. Curiosity might have killed the cat, but it embroiled you into a scandal with a man you could never love.
Genre: Wonwoo x Female!reader. Regency!AU (It's sort of Bridgerton-esque in the sense that I give zero attention to historical accuracy and prioritize aesthetics lmao) You are Joshua's sibling so your maiden name is Hong but the reader has no other physical characteristics.
Word Count: 6.7k+
Part 1 Part 2 (Part 3)
Series Masterlist [Reading Candle and Manners, the earlier installments in this series first is strongly recommended as main character dynamics are introduced there.]
Wonwoo carefully helped you down from the carriage. He offered you his arm and you leaned closer to him than you would normally have done- taking the opportunity to catch a whiff of his soothing scent.
It was the evening of the children's performance and a number of villagers had gathered in the gardens behind the orphanage. Sister Lynn waited by the entrance, ready to greet you and Wonwoo as soon as you descended your carriage.
"Mr. and Mrs. Jeon," she greeted you breathlessly. "I am so grateful to you for coming tonight. The children are incredibly excited to be performing for you. I have already reserved seats in the garden. This way, please…"
You followed Sister Lynn. The garden had been set up with a makeshift stage and rows of chairs. As you walked past, many of the villagers stopped to curtsey and greet you politely. Their smiles were more genuine than before and you noticed more warmth coming from some of them than you had felt during your infrequent strolls in the market.
"The villagers seem more friendly than they used to," you murmured to Wonwoo. He angled his head slightly downwards to listen to you. "It must be because you are with me. They respect you."
Wonwoo shook his head. "I cannot take credit for that. This is your own doing. They have heard of your contributions for the orphanage."
You hesitated. "Surely not…"
"My family has been donating money to the orphanage for years but you are the first noblewoman to spend time with the children. The skills you are teaching the girls- music and French- these are skills the nobility usually hoards to themselves. By teaching them to these children, you have made a statement."
You looked up at Wonwoo in surprise.
"It was not my intention to make any statements. I only felt it was unfair that the children did not have the opportunity to learn these skills elsewhere."
"That these children deserve the same opportunities as noble-born children- that is a statement in itself."
You did not know how to answer so you stayed silent. Teaching the children had been a welcome distraction and not an act of rebellion against the societal class structure. You were not sure that you would have volunteered your time for something like this had you still been in London.
But you were not in London. Mrs. Jeon was not a fashionable London debutante. She was the wife of a nobleman in the countryside.
Perhaps it did not really matter what you would have done in your past life.
Sister Lynn had reserved a pair of seats in the front row that were draped in a red cloth to make them stand out. It was evident that you and your husband were the most important guests of the evening, and had been given the prime seats.
Fred came running up to you as soon as you sat down.
"Mrs. Jeon!" he greeted you shyly. He was holding something behind his back and he held it out to you. "I made this for you."
It was a small rose made of red paper. You could not help it- the innocent gesturebrought a smile to your face.
"Thank you, Fred! It is beautiful!" you told the young boy. He smiled and his ears turned pink before he ran back to join the other children waiting by the stage. Wonwoo looked down at the flower and then back up at you- the surprise on his face was unmistakable.
You raised an eyebrow at him. "You need not look so surprised, Wonwoo. As you should know, I have admirers everywhere."
Wonwoo shook his head.
"Your receiving a flower from a child does not surprise me. I was surprised because I have not seen you smile like that… since we were in London."
"Perhaps I have not had much reason to smile since we were in London. You should try giving me a rose sometime. I will be happy to grant you a smile in return," you teased.
Wonwoo looked at you for a long moment and said nothing in response. You wondered if you had overstepped; your husband had not been particularly receptive to flirtation even before he was married. You cleared your throat and turned away but were surprised when Wonwoo suddenly leaned in to murmur in your ear.
"I… would have given you more than one," he said in his calm, deep voice. "Roses must be given in threes."
You felt your heartbeat quicken.
"Empty words considering I have one rose from Fred and none from you, Mr. Jeon," you retorted lightly.
Wonwoo simply shook his head and turned his attention back to the stage as Sister Lynn called for all the guests to settle down; but you could see that the corner of Wonwoo's lips were curved up in the hint of a smile.
"Take your seats, please!" Sister Lynn called out to all the villagers who settled down in the rows of chairs behind you. "The performances are about to begin!"
You settled down to watch. Each of the children had prepared something different and although you had been spending plenty of time with them of late, their talents still surprised you. Fred and some of the other boys performed an amusing little play that they had written themselves. Amelia sang a beautiful French song that you had taught her. Little Jia could not sing- but she recited some poetry in French and her accent was flawless. All the children were treated to generous applause and praise by the audience.
Marie was the last to perform. You were surprised when four of the villagers came in carrying the heavy pianoforte from the orphanage and placed it by the side of the stage.
Sister Lynn called for the attention of the audience.
"Marie will play a waltz that she has been practising on the piano," Sister Lynn announced with a smile. "Our generous benefactress Mrs. Jeon informs us that this is the same waltz which was played last season at the ball hosted by the Duchess of Graham in London- so we are in for a very rare treat indeed."
Wonwoo turned to you with furrowed eyebrows.
"The ball hosted by the Duchess of Graham? Was that not the ball where we-"
"Hush," you said quickly. "Let us dance."
"Dance?" Wonwoo asked you in mild disbelief. "Here? At a children's performance?"
The opening notes of the waltz began. Marie's playing was excellent; you had taught her well. You stood and held your hand out to Wonwoo. Some of the other villagers had also risen from their seats and were beginning to dance- although, having never properly learnt the waltz, they were doing a clumsy imitation of the steps.
"It is the same Viennese waltz that is often played at balls in London. I am sure you recognise it- despite your aversion to social events," you quipped.
Wonwoo took your hand and followed you a short distance away from the chairs. You stepped closer to him- one hand clasped in his, the other placed on his shoulder. You had not worn gloves this evening as formal gloves had seemed excessive in the presence of the villagers.
Wonwoo's bare hand clasped yours. His fingers were warm as he placed his other hand on your back and the simple, but intimate gesture made your heart skip a beat.
"For a man that almost never danced at balls, you are a surprisingly good dancer," you told him with a smile as he slowly guided you into the waltz.
Wonwoo raised an eyebrow at you. "I was trained, like any other gentleman. My mother had me and my sister take formal dance lessons before we entered society."
"Yes; but skills such as dancing often grow rusty from lack of use," you teased him.
"You seem to be grossly underestimating the amount of dancing I did in London. It may not have been enough to suit my mother or the young ladies of the ton, but it was still plenty. I am surprised that you and I have never danced before."
You laughed at the hypocrisy. "How can you possibly be surprised that we have never danced before when you have never asked me to dance?" you demanded.
Wonwoo bit his lip. "You would not have accepted me."
"Nonsense. You were the one who was miserly about granting dances. I never turned one down. I even danced with Mr. Park multiple times- although he constantly trod on my toes and ruined a very pretty pair of shoes I had."
"Then I am out of excuses," Wonwoo confessed.
"You could have told me that you were too nervous to dance with me because of my superior dancing skills," you offered with a playful smile. "That would have been an acceptable excuse."
Wonwoo chuckled. "No. That would have been a bare-faced lie."
You allowed Wonwoo to lead you gently and expertly through the waltz. Many of the villagers had paused their own dancing to watch you- but Wonwoo seemed entirely unconcerned about the audience that you had gathered. He never faltered in his step.
For a brief moment it felt magical. The dark thoughts and worries and loneliness that had incessantly bogged down every waking hour of your life for the past few months disappeared and were replaced with a sort of childish giddiness.
Wonwoo's bare fingers entwined with yours; and his dark but gentle eyes looked down at you steadily without once avoiding your gaze. He lightly bit his soft lips in an attempt to concentrate on the waltz and for a quick moment you could see what you had never seen before. You caught a glimpse through the windows of the fortress he had built around his heart and saw the shadow of a vulnerable, hesitant, caring man trapped on the inside.
"Wonwoo…"
The waltz came to an end. There was a loud applause for Marie and also for you and your husband- many of the villagers had admired your skilful dancing.
"Thank you for the dance," you told your husband lightly as you took a step back from him. He nodded and released you quickly. He was flustered as he only now realised that you had been observed by most of the villagers.
"We should have more music!" one of the villagers suggested. "So that we might dance more!"
Marie, still sitting at the piano, blushed with embarrassment.
"I only learned how to play the one waltz," she admitted shyly. She looked up and her eyes met yours across the garden. "But Mrs. Jeon can play so many more! Mrs. Jeon, would you play us a song that everyone can dance to?"
You hesitated and looked around at the expectant faces. "I-I couldn't. This performance was for the children, it is not my place-"
Wonwoo interrupted you. "I think you should play."
You gave him a sharp look. "What?"
"Play them a song," he replied simply.
You glanced around at the watching villagers and then leaned closer to Wonwoo, lowering your voice "At the children's performance? I hope you are not going to accuse me of being vain if one of them cries because I played better than them?"
"I think Marie may cry if you do not play."
You were surprised when Wonwoo gently took your hand and led you towards the instrument. Marie beamed and vacated the seat for you- you sat in front of the piano and took a deep breath.
"Well- how about a lively one?" you suggested.
You sat down and allowed your fingers to dance over the instrument in a lively waltz- something that the villagers would find entertaining despite not knowing the exact dance steps. Many of them began to dance again. Marie sat down on the stool beside you to watch you play with great interest.
Wonwoo moved a short distance away and leaned against the garden fence to watch you play in silence. You had to focus on the keys so you could not afford to look at him very much- but Marie's eyes were constantly flickering towards your husband.
"Mr. Jeon seems to admire your playing greatly," Marie whispered to you innocently. "Is that how he fell in love with you? Did you perform for him in London and he fell in love?"
You wanted to laugh.
"That is not what happened," you told her. "Where did you get that idea?"
Marie looked flustered. "I read in a book that gentlemen are often impressed by ladies who have excellent musical skills."
"True," you admitted. "But that was not the case with Mr. Jeon."
"Then how did he fall in love with you?"
You bit your lip as you tried to focus on the tune you were playing. You could not blame Marie for her innocent question; it was impossible for her to understand the circumstances behind your marriage that made it difficult for you to answer. For all she knew, you and Mr. Jeon were a perfectly happy married couple.
"You shall have to ask him that," you said simply.
Marie gasped. "I could never! Mr. Jeon looks so terribly serious all the time- although Sister Lynn says he is a very kind person and that we must be very grateful to him."
"But he could smile more," you agreed.
"Yes, I suppose he could. He is frowning at us even now," Marie giggled.
The waltz came to an end; your face was warm with pleasure and you could not stop the smile from spreading across your face when the villagers applauded your performance generously. You stood and thanked them as Wonwoo approached you.
"It is growing late," he told you quietly as he offered you his arm. "Perhaps we should take our leave."
Marie suddenly stood from the stool as well. Her face was flushed as she looked up at your husband.
"Mr. Jeon," she began boldly. "What is it that made you fall in love with Mrs. Jeon?"
Wonwoo looked taken aback by the young girl's sudden question. His eyes widened and he turned to you in confusion. You shook your head lightly- don't ruin her innocence, play along, you tried to tell him with your eyes.
Wonwoo paused for a moment and then looked back down at the little girl.
His response was quiet.
"I fell in love with her because she shines so brightly."
—------------------------------------------------------------
You awoke early the next morning.
The sunlight streaming through your curtains was not as bright as usual. You were accustomed to sleeping in rather late; it was not as though you were needed anywhere in the mornings, and Mrs. Betsy was more than happy to keep breakfast for you even if you did not come downstairs in time.
But for once, you awoke unusually early and went downstairs hoping- almost expecting- to see your husband.
"Good morning, Mrs. Jeon!" the housekeeper greeted you in surprise when she saw you appear in the breakfast parlour. "You are awake earlier than usual. I will bring out your breakfast momentarily."
You nodded and sat down. "Thank you, Mrs. Betsy. Has… has Mr. Jeon eaten?"
Mrs. Betsy blinked at you in surprise. It was rare for you to ask about your husband; the two of you almost never ate breakfast together.
"I am afraid Mr. Jeon left early this morning for the neighbouring town to take care of some matters of the estate," she informed you simply. "He should return tomorrow."
You nodded. "Oh. I see."
"Were you expecting him?"
"No, no particularly," you said dismissively. You felt suddenly embarrassed that your housekeeper had noticed your disappointment. You thought that after the lovely evening you had spent with your husband at the orphanage, he might actually have breakfast with you. You cleared your throat. "Has the post arrived?"
"Yes, of course."
You busied yourself reading a letter from Ella that contained some gossip about the ton- but your eyes stared blankly at her words without taking them in. Your mind was still replaying moments from the previous night.
The feeling of Wonwoo's fingers entwined with yours, the small smile on his handsome face when you teased him, the way you had been lost in his dark eyes as he guided you through the waltz…
You had danced with possibly hundreds of men before but had never quite felt the same way.
Was it because he was your husband? Was it because, for the first time since your marriage, you had allowed yourself to look at Jeon Wonwoo, really look at the man clearly instead of through lenses clouded by your own self-pity and misery, and see him for who he truly was? That small glimpse of Wonwoo behind his fortress walls was not enough.
You wanted more.
You suddenly craved more of him.
You felt restless for the next two days as you paced the house and waited for Wonwoo's return. You had never bothered to do so before- your husband often spent the night away when he was off on business matters, and you had never once cared to worry about his return.
It was the third day after his absence that you finally heard the sound of the carriage rolling up to the Jeon manor. Snowball perked up his ears and ran to the front entrance of the manor faster than you. The carriage had stopped in front of the main entrance and a man descended- but it was not your husband.
"Joshua?" you asked in shock.
The Viscount and Viscountess Hong descended the carriage. Snowball immediately leapt at your brother, and your sister-in-law came to throw her arms around you.
"Oh; my dear, it is such a relief to see you!" she cried as she embraced you warmly. You embraced her in return- it had been months since you had seen your family and you could not help the tears that pricked your eyes.
"I have missed you so much," you admitted as you hugged her back. Joshua finally managed to hand Snowball off to a servant and came over to give you a warm hug as well. Your brother gripped your shoulders and frowned down at you.
"You look terrible," he told you bluntly.
His wife swatted him. "Joshua!" she cried. "How can you say that to her?"
You did not mind at all; you were far too happy to see them and you called for Mrs. Betsy and the servants to carry their belongings inside and prepare rooms for them. Joshua watched you flitter about with a frown on his face, as you ushered them into the parlour and called for tea and refreshments.
"What brings you here?" you asked Joshua eagerly as your brother and sister-in-law sat down in the parlour. "You did not even write that you were coming- or did I miss your letter? Perhaps I have not been keeping up with my correspondence…"
"We will not be staying long," Joshua replied simply. "We have only come to take you with us."
You blinked at him. "Take me with you? Where?"
"Home, sister."
You stared at him in confusion. "Home? But what…" your eyes widened, suddenly fearing the worst. "Is something wrong with Mother?"
"Mother is healthy and well. Luckily, she does not know what you have been going through," Joshua replied simply. His jaw was clenched; your brother suddenly seemed very unlike himself. "Instead of asking the servants to prepare rooms for us, I think it would be best if you asked them to pack your belongings."
"I don't… I don't understand…"
The Viscountess sat beside you and took your trembling hand in hers. Her voice was gentle. "My dear, I know you have been trying to hide it in your letters but we are aware of how miserable you have been. Mr. Jeon has been corresponding with your brother. We are very worried for your health."
You stiffened. "My health is fine-"
"Mr. Jeon tells us that you have been quite depressed. That you sit in the drawing room for days on end without moving, that you never speak and you never smile. He wrote to us to say that he thought it was best if you went back home."
You felt like you had been slapped.
"Wonwoo wrote to you to take me home?"
Joshua nodded. "Yes. He wrote to me on Sunday and we left immediately upon receiving the letter. I know that you probably did not want to scare us, sister… but you should have said something in your letters. We would never have expected you to stay here if we knew you were so miserable even after all this time."
You could barely hear what your brother was saying. Your head suddenly spun; had Wonwoo done this? He had called your brother to come take you away without a word? Now, after you had finally reached out to him and were beginning to see a glimpse of hope in your future with him?
You felt…
Betrayed.
You stood suddenly. "No, this does not make sense. Surely Wonwoo would not have done this now. Not after the other evening, I…"
"Sister-"
"Mrs. Betsy!" you yelled for the housekeeper, your voice trembling. The older woman came running into the room, wide-eyed. "Where exactly is my husband?"
"I-I believe he is at the inn in the neighbouring town, madam-"
"Send a manservant on horseback to him at once and tell him that I demand him to return home this very instant," you ordered shakily. When the housekeeper stared at you without moving, you clenched your fists. "Was I not clear, Mrs. Betsy? I require this to be done right now!"
"Of course, madam."
You took a deep breath and tried to calm yourself. Surely there was some misunderstanding. It would be resolved. Wonwoo had simply expressed his concerns about your behaviour and your overprotective brother had jumped to his own conclusions…
"You should both go to your rooms to refresh yourselves and dress for supper," you told your brother and sister-in-law. "I… need a few moments."
"Of course."
You felt light-headed for the rest of the evening. Your thoughts were bogged down by a dense fog in your mind as you waited for Wonwoo to arrive. Your stomach clenched, and although you finally sat down to supper with the Viscount and Viscountess, the delicious food only made you feel nauseous.
You had just begun to eat when Mrs. Betsy came into the dining room hurriedly.
"Mr. Jeon has arrived," she announced.
You leapt to your feet as Wonwoo entered the dining room. His eyes were red and his dark hair tousled and windswept; he appeared to have ridden here directly on horseback. He avoided looking at you.
"Viscount Hong, Viscountess Hong," Wonwoo greeted them with a stiff nod. His voice was slightly hoarse.
Your sister-in-law smiled at him.
"Thank you for having us at your home, Mr. Jeon," she said before turning to your brother expectantly. The Viscount said nothing. He did not even stand to greet Wonwoo. His wife nudged him sharply.
"Joshua!" she mumbled.
Your brother looked up at Wonwoo with an expression you had almost never seen on the Viscount's famously kind and gentle countenance- carefully controlled anger.
"I have nothing to say to Mr. Jeon," Joshua replied.
Wonwoo's eyes widened but he was silent. He simply nodded and turned his head away, almost as though accepting defeat. You stood from the table abruptly.
"That does not matter, since I have plenty to say to him," you interrupted the tense silence before striding to the dining room entrance. "Let us speak in your study, Wonwoo."
You did not look back as you took determined, trembling steps towards Wonwoo's study. You could hear your husband following you. You stood silently, one hand on the back of a chair to balance yourself as you waited for Wonwoo to enter the room and close the door behind him.
"Did you write to my brother to tell him to take me home?" you demanded.
Wonwoo was silent. His body was facing you but his eyes were unfocused, looking at the polished wooden floor near your feet instead of into your eyes. His jaw was clenched tightly.
"Wonwoo?" you demanded again, when multiple seconds had passed and he still had not answered.
"...Yes," he replied. "Yes, I did."
Your legs felt weak and your grip on the back of the chair tightened- you were now using it as a crutch to stay standing upright.
"Why?" you asked quietly.
Wonwoo took a deep breath. He would still not look at you. His entire body was stiff and he seemed perfectly satisfied to continue staring at the floor without answering you.
"Wonwoo!" you demanded again.
"I don't know what to say."
You felt a burst of anger explode inside of you at the sight of his lips pressed firmly together.
"Well, you will have to say something! You cannot just stand there in silence and allow me to come up with my own explanations for this… this drastic step that you seemed to think was necessary to take without consulting me! How exactly is this supposed to work? We are married. Do you want me gone for a month? A year?"
Wonwoo said nothing.
"Speak to me!" you yelled. The frustration was building rapidly inside of your chest but you could see that the more you demanded it, the more Wonwoo seemed to be shutting himself off from you. His head hung low and he still would not look at you. His eyes were closed.
"Wonwoo," you said slowly, your voice trembling with anger. "If you do not explain yourself then I have no choice but to assume the worst. I will have to assume that living with me and even speaking to me is so wholly repulsive to you that you cannot stand to do it for a moment longer."
Wonwoo was silent.
You felt your heart sink. It felt as though Jeon Wonwoo had reached inside of your chest and used his cold silence to rip out every remaining shred of hope and dignity you had left.
You felt your throat close up. You were foolish. Foolish to think anything could come of this, foolish to still have entertained any hope in the possibility of happiness after months and months of this slow torture.
"Very well," you whispered. "I will pack my things immediately."
You felt yourself walk out of the study as though you were in a dream. Everything was blurred; the walls seemed to dance in your vision as you ran up the stairs and ordered Rosie and two other maids to bring a trunk and pack all your belongings. Your own voice felt disembodied… almost like it belonged to someone else.
The maids were shocked, but the expression on your face prevented them from asking questions. They hurried to obey your orders. You stood stiffly in your room and watched in a daze as the maids pulled dresses out of your wardrobe and began to fold them into the trunks.
The door to your bedroom opened without a knock.
"Leave us," you heard Wonwoo mumble quietly to the maids. They stood and quickly left the room as Wonwoo entered and closed the door behind him.
"Finally thought of something to say?" you asked him coldly.
Wonwoo walked to your bed and sat down on the edge of it. His broad shoulders were hunched and he bent his head forwards as he ran his fingers through his tousled hair.
"I need a moment," he whispered, almost inaudibly.
You waited. Every moment of silence was agony. It could have been second, minutes… time seemed to lose meaning but finally Wonwoo lifted his head to look up at you. His eyes were red and his voice cracked when he spoke.
"I don't know how to do it," he choked out. "I don't know how to make you happy."
"What?"
"I didn't think it would be this difficult. I thought it would pass- that I could learn in time, but I just don't know. It kills me inside knowing that you are going through so much pain. I can't watch it any longer. I can't watch you become a shell of the person you used to be. You used to light up any room you were in like the blazing sun. I can't watch as that light inside of you dies, slowly, with each passing day that you are here."
"Wonwoo…"
He took a shaky breath. "I've failed. But I can't continue to let my failures as a husband destroy you. You deserve a chance at happiness."
You stared at him. Wonwoo's fists were clenched as he gripped the wooden frame of your bed. His knuckles were white.
"So, your solution," you said slowly. "Your solution was to go behind my back and write to my brother to come and take me away-"
"Your family will know how to fix-"
"Shut up," you hissed. Wonwoo looked up at you in shock. "I don't want to hear your excuses. I have told you this before and I will say it again, Mr. Jeon. I am a grown woman who is capable of making her own choices and decisions. I will not be treated like a child- not by the Viscount and certainly not by my husband!"
Wonwoo swallowed and said nothing.
"And the audacity- the audacity you have to claim that you have failed at something that you never once tried to do!" you snapped. "Tell me, Mr. Jeon. Tell me what valiant attempts you made to make me happy or even be a good husband to me."
"I-I tried to give you your space, your freedom…"
You laughed. "Space? Freedom? You abandoned me here. You built an impenetrable iron wall the size of a godforsaken fortress between us and you left me here to rot!"
"Every conversation we have had somehow turns to an argument. You never wanted this marriage, you never wanted to marry me, and I did not want to force myself upon you unwillingly!" Wonwoo retorted, his eyes flaming.
"Then you should have said so! You should have spoken to me instead of running away because a marriage cannot sustain itself on silence, Wonwoo! No relationship can sustain itself on silence! You had to speak to me and tell me how you were feeling!"
Wonwoo stood and went to the large window in your bedroom. He turned his back to you as his hand grabbed the windowsill.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
Your anger slowly deflated. "No, I… you are not alone in fault. I share the blame. I was too wrapped up in feeling sorry for myself and mourning the life I lost. I watched you build distance between us and I did nothing to stop it. I never gave this marriage a chance. Neither of us gave this marriage a proper chance. For heaven's sake, that connecting door has been locked since our wedding night."
Wonwoo's eyes briefly flickered towards the connecting door that led to his bedroom and nodded.
"Maybe so," he admitted quietly. "Maybe we never really tried hard enough."
You stepped closer to him.
"But I thought things were changing," you confessed weakly. "I thought maybe we were finally beginning to understand each other. After that night at the orphanage, when we danced together and you were speaking to me and smiling at me, I finally, finally felt…"
Wonwoo turned to look at you.
"What?" he asked gently.
"I finally felt like you were my husband," you finished. "But clearly I was mistaken, since whatever happened that evening prompted you to write to my brother to take me away."
Wonwoo bit his lip.
"I saw how happy you were that night," he admitted. "I know that we never spent much time together or got along in London but… whatever disagreements we may have had, you were always someone that shined so brightly wherever you went. I saw that light die out when you married me. I was beginning to think it was gone forever. But I saw a glimmer of it when we danced and when you played the piano. I thought it was better if you went back to your family before that light died out completely."
You stepped closer to him. Wonwoo's dark eyes searched for yours and you could see the way his lower lip trembled.
"I was happy that night," you told him gently. "But it was not because I missed dancing or music. It was because I finally felt some hope for my future. I caught a glimpse of you-of the real you that you hide behind your silence- and I thought that if only I could see more of that man, I might someday come to love him."
Wonwoo's jaw tightened. "Do you mean that?"
"More than anything."
He turned away from the window and closed the distance between you both with one large stride- and then he kissed you.
You had not expected it. It was not something that you had ever even dared to imagine, kissing Wonwoo. But his warm hands slid into the strands of your hair and he pulled you flush against him as his lips closed softly and passionately over yours.
You took a few moments to react. You had never been kissed before, but your body was a few steps ahead of your mind and it melted naturally and comfortably against Wonwoo's. Your hands grasped at his broad shoulders and you pulled yourself closer to him. Your lips parted for him eagerly, inhaling his familiar scent, and enjoying the rush of adrenaline that was pumping through every inch of your body.
Wonwoo pulled back breathlessly after a few moments- he pressed his forehead to yours and you felt his warm breath against your face.
"Perhaps-" he whispered breathlessly. "Perhaps I should not have…"
"No," you insisted as you brought your hand up to rest on the side of Wonwoo’s neck and brushed his cheek with your thumb. "No, Wonwoo, we should have done this long, long ago."
He nodded. You felt his shoulders relax and his dark eyes flickered down to yours. There was a hesitation mixed with a deep longing behind them.
"Do you still want me to return with my brother?" you whispered.
He swallowed. "I don't… I don't know."
"What does that mean?"
"I want you to be happy," Wonwoo said firmly. "If you stay here, and you are still lonely and miserable…"
"I don't know where or how I will be happy," you told him gently. "But if things here change… if we open up to each other more, if we can spend more time together and discuss our feelings and set aside all the guilt and resentment and anger…"
Wonwoo took a deep breath.
"I don't know if I can make you happy," he admitted to you hesitantly. "I don't know if I can make you love me."
"It's not a question of making me do anything, Wonwoo. You need to stop considering my happiness as some burden that you have to bear in silence, and simply be here, with me. That is all I ask."
"I can do that."
"And I will stop pitying myself and mourning the life I left behind," you told him. "And I will try-genuinely try- to rebuild a new life with you."
"Do you think we can do this?"
"We owe it to each other to try."
"All right," Wonwoo said gently. He brought his hand up to caress your cheek and you saw the warmth, the hope in his own expression. You saw the vulnerability in his eyes when he spoke. "Then let us try again. Together. Stay with me, please."
"I will."
—-----------------------------------------------
Viscount Hong was not pleased when you informed him that you would not be going back with him the next morning. He watched in stony silence as his wife arranged for all their belongings to be reloaded onto their carriage.
"Joshua," you tried to soothe his anger.
He ignored you. He was looking at your husband.
"You made me a promise," Joshua said coldly, frowning at Wonwoo. "The night when the scandal broke out, when you offered to marry my sister… you promised me that you would do everything in your power to keep her safe and happy. I trusted you and vouched for you; as a friend and a fellow gentleman."
Wonwoo took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I made mistakes, I-"
"Wonwoo, stop," you insisted firmly. "You don't need to explain anything to my brother, what happened between us is about our marriage-"
Joshua frowned. "Then how do I trust him again?"
"There is no need for you to trust Wonwoo. You can trust me. I am telling you that I want to stay here, Joshua- it is that simple."
The Viscountess called out to her husband-"My dear, the carriage is waiting!" and Joshua finally embraced you in a brotherly hug.
"If something happens, you will write to me," he told you firmly.
"I will."
"Goodbye, sister."
You waved goodbye to the Viscount and Viscountess as they boarded their carriage and it rattled away from the estate. Wonwoo seemed tense- you turned to him with a smile and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Well," you said with a small smile. "Perhaps I should congratulate you on being the only person in this world who has managed to make an enemy out of Viscount Hong."
Wonwoo laughed dryly.
"Very humorous, Mrs. Jeon. I am glad that it pleases you for your brother to hate me," he replied.
You smiled. "He will forgive you."
"I hope so. I am almost grateful that we are not in a position to return to society in London just yet- I know that is where he keeps his duelling pistols."
You giggled. You began to walk back to the manor and you were surprised when Wonwoo suddenly reached out and took your hand in his, lacing your fingers together. There was a small smile on his handsome face.
"How bold," you quipped lightly. "Do you usually go about touching women in this intimate manner?"
"Only when that woman is my wife and I am in my own home," Wonwoo replied.
"Is this an indication that I should unlock the connecting door between our bedrooms?" you teased him lightly.
His ears turned red. "If it pleases you."
"But would it please you?"
Wonwoo pressed his lips together tightly but his grip on your hand did not loosen. "Or perhaps," he suggested with a small smile. "We could go on a honeymoon instead. Have you ever seen Rome?"
You stared at him in disbelief. "Are you serious?"
"Very much so."
"We have been married for many months now. What will people think if we suddenly abandon the estate and take off for Rome like a pair of newlyweds?" you demanded.
Wonwoo chuckled. "People already think many things about us. I sincerely doubt that a trip to Rome will be the breaking point for our reputation in society."
"I will need new dresses if we are to go to Rome," you said thoughtfully. "The seamstresses in the village are competent but they hardly know the latest fashions."
Wonwoo raised an eyebrow.
"I am sure that can be arranged," he replied.
"And new shoes and the latest jewellery. There is no silk to be found in this part of the countryside; we shall have to have it brought in from London. Perhaps a little extra fabric would be best- I've been meaning to have the curtains and upholstery in the drawing room replaced- they are quite dreary. The dining room could do with some refurbishment as well. And Wonwoo…"
He hummed. "Yes?"
You smiled at him. "I have been thinking that a new grand pianoforte would be an excellent addition to the library."
Wonwoo blinked. For a moment his dark eyes were unreadable and you were worried that you had gone too far- but he suddenly used your entwined hands to pull you into him and his other arm wrapped around your waist.
His head came down to place a soft kiss against the side of your neck and he whispered hoarsely in your ear.
"Mrs. Jeon."
"Hmmm," you mumbled.
"Unless you wish to return with your Viscount brother, perhaps it would be best not to spend the entire Jeon family fortune in one day?"
You bit your lip as you nodded. "Y-yes, of course."
"Good," Wonwoo replied as he released you gently. Your face had turned warm and he smiled at how flustered the simple intimate contact had made you. "Let us have breakfast."
"But I will need the dresses-"
He sighed. "Of course, my dear."
—------------------------------------------------------
My mother is somewhat immature sometimes
Yuh the school year's almost over. I'm happy
I fucking hate insensitive people
Fucking adults think they can just say anything they want in front of me
I'm so freaking insecure nowadays
I go to school not because I want to but because I have to and that lead me to not having the motivation to do school stuffs....
How do you even become rich without being depressed, overworked or stress.
Fuck school honestly
